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"hellscape" poems
She is beautiful, with her hair in disarray. She sets man against man, woman against woman, and both against each other She whispers into the ear of sleeping children, who awake as adults in her service. All fear her, for she cannot be known. She masquerades as order, enticing humanity; the fire that huddled neanderthals gaped at in thanks become the flames that consume. To fight against her is futile, but it is in our nature. She has never left us; she will continue without us when we are dead and gone. All the monuments in the world bow to her in worship or are crushed in submission to time and war. She played gods and men alike. She is both the catalyst and the conclusion. Some marvel as the fires of her destruction dance reflected in their eyes; others weep. To say that she is coming would imply that she has ever left. How could we impermanent things ever hope to banish something so primordial. She breeds hate, mistrust, and strife in those that capitulate; those that resist her only magnify her power. She bore Hardship and Ruin, Quarrels and Disputes, Lies and Oaths, Anarchy and Starvation,  Forgetfulness and Pain. Manslaughter and ****** were her giggling toddlers. War and Battle took after her brother, their uncle's favorites. She brings inedible food that is coveted by all who encounter it. She has bathed in the blood of civil wars, her most decadent vice. She renders man's efforts futile, to fight or submit is destruction. She will reduce the universe to an ever expanding hellscape of fire. She is the secret joy of many. Nothing will escape her. She is everywhere.
0
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 1:24 PM UTC
Typhon's Escort
She is beautiful, with her hair in disarray. She sets man against man, woman against woman, and both against each other She whispers into the ear of sleeping children, who awake as adults in her service. All fear her, for she cannot be known. She masquerades as order, enticing humanity; the fire that huddled neanderthals gaped at in thanks become the flames that consume. To fight against her is futile, but it is in our nature. She has never left us; she will continue without us when we are dead and gone. All the monuments in the world bow to her in worship or are crushed in submission to time and war. She played gods and men alike. She is both the catalyst and the conclusion. Some marvel as the fires of her destruction dance reflected in their eyes; others weep. To say that she is coming would imply that she has ever left. How could we impermanent things ever hope to banish something so primordial. She breeds hate, mistrust, and strife in those that capitulate; those that resist her only magnify her power. She bore Hardship and Ruin, Quarrels and Disputes, Lies and Oaths, Anarchy and Starvation,  Forgetfulness and Pain. Manslaughter and ****** were her giggling toddlers. War and Battle took after her brother, their uncle's favorites. She brings inedible food that is coveted by all who encounter it. She has bathed in the blood of civil wars, her most decadent vice. She renders man's efforts futile, to fight or submit is destruction. She will reduce the universe to an ever expanding hellscape of fire. She is the secret joy of many. Nothing will escape her. She is everywhere.
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21
This frozen hellscape Where winter cries forever A glacier of tears
0
Jul 6, 2021
Jul 6, 2021 at 12:45 AM UTC
Glacier
"I want to go home" I think As I sit in a school cafeteria Clouds above and below my head Sinking down into my own personal hellscape My mire My endless pit of open ended thoughts "Am I good enough?" I think that I surely am not I've never been good enough for just about anyone
0
Feb 24, 2020
Feb 24, 2020 at 3:33 PM UTC
Grey Skies
dear doctor crombie rhymes with cranberry remember that’s what you told me so that i would remember your name and you chuckled like that was the most clever thing in the world but all i cared about was getting the hell out of the **** psychiatric ward because being in that place made me want to try and **** myself all over again which is totally the opposite of what i was hoping for when i agreed to be admitted but i digress because what stuck with me more than the dismal room i was put in that was either as hot as hell-fire or freezing cold to the point where i decided that i’d rather be able to see my breath than be soaked in sweat and your shitty-ass joke was the fact that on our first meeting you told me that you thought my coming out as transgender was nothing more than a diversion tactic now dr. crombie i want you to put yourself in my place i was 16 years old stimming and shaking as you stared me down and then labeled me as nothing more than a diversion tactic and that crushed me it had only been a few days since i swallowed 40 trazodone and accepted the fact that i would not be waking up again and that was all you had to say to me a diversion tactic you pulled down the very core of what i was in two words and my god i hated you so much in that moment because dr. crombie i had known i was not a girl since i was 7 years old and i held that inside me for 9 long years that almost killed me because ********* i knew that i wasn’t a girl for longer than i had lived as a girl and you just didn’t care you took what i had given to you laying myself out before you because i was a scared mentally ill teenager that had just survived a ******* suicide attempt and all you had to say that my being transgender was a diversion tactic and even now three years later that still haunts me the fact that you a heterosexual cisgender male born with a ***** and a flat chest decided to chalk up my 9 years of hell to nothing more than a diversion tactic so dr. crombie tell me what do you think i was diverting from exactly when i had willingly been admitted to a sterile-smelling hellscape where i was forced to relive how i tried to forcibly end my life every day in the ******** little therapy groups that made me feel so much older and hollowed out tell me doctor what exactly was i diverting from what was i trying to hide from and behind by putting myself through the hell of being near constantly dead-named and misgendered and having to pay up into the double digits just to change my legal my deadname and gender marker from an F to an M and being told that i was technically still a girl and being asked why i couldn’t just be a tomboy a lesbian a **** a butch why couldn’t i just be a girl huh why did i have to be a boy so tell me dr. crombie rhymes with cranberry just what exactly was i ******* diverting from
0
Dec 25, 2016
Dec 25, 2016 at 11:29 PM UTC
diversion tactic
dear doctor crombie rhymes with cranberry remember that’s what you told me so that i would remember your name and you chuckled like that was the most clever thing in the world but all i cared about was getting the hell out of the **** psychiatric ward because being in that place made me want to try and **** myself all over again which is totally the opposite of what i was hoping for when i agreed to be admitted but i digress because what stuck with me more than the dismal room i was put in that was either as hot as hell-fire or freezing cold to the point where i decided that i’d rather be able to see my breath than be soaked in sweat and your shitty-ass joke was the fact that on our first meeting you told me that you thought my coming out as transgender was nothing more than a diversion tactic now dr. crombie i want you to put yourself in my place i was 16 years old stimming and shaking as you stared me down and then labeled me as nothing more than a diversion tactic and that crushed me it had only been a few days since i swallowed 40 trazodone and accepted the fact that i would not be waking up again and that was all you had to say to me a diversion tactic you pulled down the very core of what i was in two words and my god i hated you so much in that moment because dr. crombie i had known i was not a girl since i was 7 years old and i held that inside me for 9 long years that almost killed me because ********* i knew that i wasn’t a girl for longer than i had lived as a girl and you just didn’t care you took what i had given to you laying myself out before you because i was a scared mentally ill teenager that had just survived a ******* suicide attempt and all you had to say that my being transgender was a diversion tactic and even now three years later that still haunts me the fact that you a heterosexual cisgender male born with a ***** and a flat chest decided to chalk up my 9 years of hell to nothing more than a diversion tactic so dr. crombie tell me what do you think i was diverting from exactly when i had willingly been admitted to a sterile-smelling hellscape where i was forced to relive how i tried to forcibly end my life every day in the ******** little therapy groups that made me feel so much older and hollowed out tell me doctor what exactly was i diverting from what was i trying to hide from and behind by putting myself through the hell of being near constantly dead-named and misgendered and having to pay up into the double digits just to change my legal my deadname and gender marker from an F to an M and being told that i was technically still a girl and being asked why i couldn’t just be a tomboy a lesbian a **** a butch why couldn’t i just be a girl huh why did i have to be a boy so tell me dr. crombie rhymes with cranberry just what exactly was i ******* diverting from
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98
my hair is stuck down in the drain wetting my dress and drying my veins my skull it grew in too late making me spin in a hellscape of hate nothing's the same and everything's great my hands are shedding their nails waving goodbye to blood on the trails my legs cannot hold their weight my bones look the same as the ones on my plate nothings's the same and everything's great my chest it knocks and it shakes pinning me down how low can it take my corpse should rot in a case inside of the flesh where I used to be safe nothings the same i'm going to faint
0
Jun 23, 2020
Jun 23, 2020 at 3:12 PM UTC
nothing's the same
Life intolerable Death inevitable Desires insatiable Things unreal Words unspoken Evil awoken Vows art broken Pain, thou feel Fearless leaders shamefully hiding Within cowards, still confiding Helpless people slowly dying Horrors thou hast never seen Demons unleashed from their cages Hellish, endless fire rages Now unto the end of ages Sins of all the world run free Acts unthinkable Power unimaginable Disease incurable Rots our souls Gates of Wrath Flank Satan’s path Splitting in half All he controls Bowing to our God eternal Pray to leave this world infernal Careful not to wake nocturnal Monsters of abysmal night No response art thou receiving Being led by hope deceiving Finally, art thou perceiving No escape, for all wilt die Torture endless Methods boundless Leave thou breathless Still afraid Pain unending Death descending Hand extending But betrayed In this hellscape, thou art living Only in the flesh existing Forever art souls suffering The carnage surrounding thee Abominations now released To feed on fear and the deceased Destruction shalt never be ceased Souls ****** for all eternity
0
Jul 9, 2019
Jul 9, 2019 at 1:35 PM UTC
End
- ‘you’re the only hell that I’m gonna know’ i pledge this with spears/ i greet me goodbye of you and approach my new interaction with life-path, a heaven in preproduction... but a few steps on the road i’ve a bone to discover...                                                    ...i recover and cultivate                                                    a little hellscape                                                    that travelled within me all this time/                                                    in some form or another                                                    it seems i owe you                                                    an apology/                                                    i also harbour an imp and                                                    without the dominance of your                                                                                   raging villain                                                    my brute loosened from it's domesticity                                                   /that said                                                    you still remain                                                    my significant                                                    past tense                                                    abuser
0
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 2:25 PM UTC
——————medicine spoon——————
- ‘you’re the only hell that I’m gonna know’ i pledge this with spears/ i greet me goodbye of you and approach my new interaction with life-path, a heaven in preproduction... but a few steps on the road i’ve a bone to discover...                                                    ...i recover and cultivate                                                    a little hellscape                                                    that travelled within me all this time/                                                    in some form or another                                                    it seems i owe you                                                    an apology/                                                    i also harbour an imp and                                                    without the dominance of your                                                                                   raging villain                                                    my brute loosened from it's domesticity                                                   /that said                                                    you still remain                                                    my significant                                                    past tense                                                    abuser
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25
Forceful thoughts fall from the seams Like the nightmarish steeds Of a hellscape dream So carved into rock are the thoughts at hand That I can not escape Who truly I am A monster inside With a colorful broach And just enough care To help you approach When the fear you should have I help wipe away To disguise the danger That will always stay Run as you should But you never can Because I glove my ugly with a caring hand So take my hand and come with me To a world of fantasy and make believe So carefully painted with a velvety sheen So as to not let it show this is all a dream But the paint does chip And so you will wake To an external hell With no escape
0
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 3:58 PM UTC
Disguised Demon
I am from stories Stories and fantasies woven by my cousins and I With characters we built on ourselves In worlds of our own, the only rules of our making I am from hurt From chronic depression and panic attacks Too scared to be open or to not be alone With parents who cared, but didn't know what was wrong I am from care From a therapist after four years of needing one From connecting to people as lost as me, holding their hands Being an anchor in the hellscape we share I am from being queer Having a crush on my best friend and not knowing where to go Not feeling the label of "woman" fit Scared to be hated for being myself Hating myself, but knowing I shouldn't I am from acceptance Accepting myself as I am And leaving those who could not accept me Making way for the person I want to become for myself Rising to be my own I am from stars From looking up with wonder every clear night From never seeing a sky that wasn't beautiful And if the sky can be so open and free Then maybe so can I I am from myself, and the story I write Hoping one day to be healed in mind Hoping to someday find the sky and stars in someone else Regardless of gender, or anything else I will be okay and I will be happy
0
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 1:27 PM UTC
Origin
they sighed The 5 o'clock mass of late winter apathy Borne ceaseless to and from and back again To Salt Lakes to frozen sky to unfeeling supermarket self checkout lane To the dawn that brought life and the dusk that killed again From sea to shining sea to burning bush and a grand halo for all the art majors, scathing editorial for the industry people On the freeway passed out stone black sinners under veil of Southern sky And narcotics agents circling up and down the block Cancer dependent martyrs all, The Saint, the Wolf, and his ****** Lover Trash can fires turn to frozen hellscape To Babylon out West past the Rockies and North of the Gulf Mother of ghosts slaving away at an impotent family supper And she let a single tear fall and whispered, "This one will bring me luck, It may not be much now, but just wait There's gonna be a ********* riot when the Wolf comes home"
0
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 3:56 PM UTC
Better days,
Silence, the ship's sails have halted The sea whales have ceased Singing their lamentations, as the beach shore sanguines a murky horizon Red fades to black, as shimmers of wavering hope speckle a once pure....Once, pure hellscape carved by tainted talons Blood drips from the heavens, tears mix into a toxic vile The mirror's ink lighter upon my trace,as the siren's wails sound increasingly feint, feinter Now whispers reverberating in the Guilded chambers of my rotting shame and guilt
0
Dec 16, 2021
Dec 16, 2021 at 6:03 PM UTC
Siren's Sully
To think of death Whether of a paradise Or of a hellscape Or of bleak nothing Is to have a mere elementary debate with oneself To experience death Is a multitude of expereinces Once, we will experience our own Many times we will expereince The deaths of others Of those we love Of those we hate Of those we barely know And face our own mortality To watch death Is to watch as a body Withers Shrinks Sickens And to know that ultimately There is no stopping it To welcome death Is not to give up But is to have the maturity to know That eventually we all must face it And to make peace With our limitedness And to continue To know death Is to know life Is to know sorrow And suffering And joy And jubilation It is to know our greatest openent And our most beloved friend It is to know fear And confidence And doubt It is to look upon life and know it will end And be okay
0
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 11:10 PM UTC
Death
Innocence becomes more innocent once it is ruined Once the fragile and immaculate has broken into a million pieces, is it truly recognized As a limbo that was as beautiful as it was terrifying Something so perfect it seemed as though all things were destined to break before it A moment when the ground of the earth becomes the villain Why would you do this to me? You ask As the density of gaea stares back at you, poignant and all knowing And when you have finally found solace in the bottom When it seems all but impossible that you should fall further The curse of time seems to swallow you whole Bringing your shattered form to a hollow peace Still; complacent in your new found pain Surrounded by a void that lacks compassion There are no victims here Immediately the denial of truth Denial of the fact that feeling overtakes reason Replacing the knowledge that nature had put in you About how very small and temporary everything is Your broken biology still wrecked across identifiable anguish And yet, you yearn for everything that hurts Within the abyss, filled with both ending and infinite beginning Only one constant remains; nothing I want everything, here and now I want everything so that I may never be fed this hurt again Gluttonously we consume any and all remaining sensation So that our new form, our new self, maybe be satiated As it arrives, unwelcome, into this world Eat, and fill So that you may find normalcy in this new forsaken world There is no me, there is no you There is only the endless murderous maelstrom Of life becoming unlife, and crawling its way back to the surface Undermining and crusading all that has never felt pain And as the innocent falls anew into the ever lasting caverns of hellscape We are born anew Destined to live and die a thousand deaths before our end truly comes Predetermined to live by the inevitable Tactfully designed to deceive, by any means, for as long as possible Only then, having faced the grimness of truth Are we completely human
0
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 25, 2016 at 12:43 AM UTC
The Immortal Melting Man 8
Innocence becomes more innocent once it is ruined Once the fragile and immaculate has broken into a million pieces, is it truly recognized As a limbo that was as beautiful as it was terrifying Something so perfect it seemed as though all things were destined to break before it A moment when the ground of the earth becomes the villain Why would you do this to me? You ask As the density of gaea stares back at you, poignant and all knowing And when you have finally found solace in the bottom When it seems all but impossible that you should fall further The curse of time seems to swallow you whole Bringing your shattered form to a hollow peace Still; complacent in your new found pain Surrounded by a void that lacks compassion There are no victims here Immediately the denial of truth Denial of the fact that feeling overtakes reason Replacing the knowledge that nature had put in you About how very small and temporary everything is Your broken biology still wrecked across identifiable anguish And yet, you yearn for everything that hurts Within the abyss, filled with both ending and infinite beginning Only one constant remains; nothing I want everything, here and now I want everything so that I may never be fed this hurt again Gluttonously we consume any and all remaining sensation So that our new form, our new self, maybe be satiated As it arrives, unwelcome, into this world Eat, and fill So that you may find normalcy in this new forsaken world There is no me, there is no you There is only the endless murderous maelstrom Of life becoming unlife, and crawling its way back to the surface Undermining and crusading all that has never felt pain And as the innocent falls anew into the ever lasting caverns of hellscape We are born anew Destined to live and die a thousand deaths before our end truly comes Predetermined to live by the inevitable Tactfully designed to deceive, by any means, for as long as possible Only then, having faced the grimness of truth Are we completely human
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40
Heroic horses hammering holy heaven, Hooves hounding, horseshoes howling, Hot heads hurtling headlong on the horizon, Handsomest horses hacking habitually, Hugely-hung hoses hanging out hellishly, Hardy and hardening, heartily heartening, Harping at heartstrings, harmonious harkening. Hades the hell-spawn harnessing hedonism, Heckling horses, harassing the harmony, Hot-blooded horses, huffy and hungrily, Hearken the hell-dog, hail him and hallow him, Hellbent and heinous, horse hearts are harvested, Hundreds of horses haemorrhage helplessly, Harrowing Hellscape, hostile humidity, Haggardly horses hunching haphazardly, Half-dead and hateful, harshly and hardily, Hardhearted horses hurting and hurtling, Heroes of history, humbled in hopelessness, Holiest horses, howling and hollering - Heeding honor! Hailing Hell!
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Jun 25, 2025
Jun 25, 2025 at 1:25 PM UTC
Holy Horses Hailing Hell 🐴
with the battle joined and my intimacy jaded and clack froth i merge my pavilions with my valleys, gliding on a ragged stallion with a wreath in it’s withers… a’gallop in the arbitrary dawn of my hellscape. relentless as Hope. like juniper and venison, we intertwine in the hillocks of our faraway eyes like two marbles adjusting to the stride of an elephant hoisting the world into all charm and calamity without a care in the World On Its Back.
0
Sep 2, 2022
Sep 2, 2022 at 11:24 PM UTC
JUNIPER AND VENISON
We ask our lord today “We ask our lord today” To forgive those we lost “To forgive those we lost” Why? Why ask forgiveness For those who sought to destroy Render our world fictitious Burned our world like Troy They promised us utopia Left us with dystopia Burning rage sparks our collective will Render unto the gallant dead They merrily rushed to the battlefield We ask our lord today “We ask our lord today” To forgive the sins of the unborn “To forgive the sins of the unborn” Help! Help those in need Will our children see the deed? Passed on to us by virtue Now we pass it on to you Bone heaps and dallied dead Fragrance spoilt roses Left for a faceless grave Dystopian hellscape We ask our lord today “We ask our lord today” To guide our hands from strife “To guide our hands from strife” Prevent us from repeating What our ancestors failed preventing
0
Oct 20, 2017
Oct 20, 2017 at 6:10 AM UTC
Prayer for the gallant dead
this is an endless hellscape housed by demons mocking my torture blood rains from my fingertips clotting in the gaping mouths of the spectators' bellow my bones snap and mend at crooked angles set by my captor injecting formaldehyde to freeze my body poisoned by exposure
0
May 10, 2018
May 10, 2018 at 1:09 AM UTC
test day
Blood lashes in the rain as the wind buffeted the Plains of Detritus. Fetid smells plagued the air in torrents of swirling effluence. The red moon shone beyond the bending and bowing trees slashing the horizon. A lone figure stood awash in the downpour yet firmly unaffected by the gale. "Stay" said the statue. Unmoving in his conviction that all trespassers be swept away with the storm. White lighting struck the ground mere feet from his outstretched palm. The explosion reaping a cacophony of destruction resulting in smoldering craters. Glare obstructed the morosity but did little to extinguish the rotten fumes of death. As sight regained clarity another flash lit the scene to reveal a writhing mass Emerging from the rent earth like the oscillating arms of a millipede. "Come closer" said the Devil. In a blink a thousand wails descended on the land. Baring teeth and grabbing hands. Reaching... Reaching... To grab hold of the light of the last soul holding claim to its life. Stubborn, it resists the touch of darkness by force of will alone. Until even the last spark of hope became entangled within the putrid hellscape, Winking out of existence and forgotten; Consumed by evil. "Such is the price of the blood moon" cackled the fallen angel.
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Feb 12, 2017
Feb 12, 2017 at 9:16 PM UTC
Blood Moons' Price
as I laid down in the dim corner of the nurses office at 15, heating pad clutched and secured on my stomach by all my limbs, I had thought about how badly I wished for this flame to engulf me and everything in my wake. life wasn't the hellscape I had wished for.
0
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 12:50 PM UTC
12:50
(Longish Read) ------------------------ Coming home to a face I don't recognize She always has a way of coming back to me Her home is my butterfly garden The one place nobody else has ever seen She's poisoned my butterflies But I've wilted my own Rose I'm stuck in my own creations of hell; Captivating thoughts of what could've been Captivating dreams where she visits me Some would say "Why're you stressing? Everything you're experiencing is a part of a blessing." But that's wrong, because this "blessing" is what keeps me constantly stressing She left her mark and I solidified it She gave me scars that I deepened She told me things that have consumed me And now... From these scars, her mark, and her words I'm trying to piece together an some sort of an escape from my own personal creation... My own personal hellscape
0
Nov 16, 2019
Nov 16, 2019 at 5:07 PM UTC
Hellscape
Prisms casted rainbows that danced on the walls from the mirrored doors my uncle installed onto my bedroom closet. Just like that, the old brown wood was discarded and, in its place, a heavier, more durable barrier between my private belongings and the hellscape outside. More often than not, they were a barricade between what I didn’t want to hear and the comfort of old dance costumes and holiday dresses I’d outgrown all lined up in a row, soft robes to melt into after a bath and my fuzzy pink earmuffs. I paraded around the house in them, as a symbol of the silence I desired. I remember when we went to Lake George and didn’t return and how I didn’t understand why we couldn’t just go home. I didn’t want to stay on vacation, I wanted to sleep in my own bed. I remember smashing my hands against my ears to keep out the shouting and sitting awake at night, waiting to hear the garage door to go up, because then I knew you’d be home and you’d be safe, and we’d be safe and we could all fall asleep in the same house, Not sure whether my happily ever after was based in reality or a bedtime story I told myself every night so that I could finally rest my eyes in hopes that my mind would follow.
0
Jun 10, 2020
Jun 10, 2020 at 5:29 PM UTC
Seeking Safety
writhing in her mind another hellscape trapping anyone who looks in her eyes, the windows to the soul she runs wild through a forest of whispering trees calling out but never to her calling for the others the betters because she would never be as good as them how could they want her? the trees whisper her name as a crow flies above a single feather falls the train of shadows moves on stopping only for her she boards it a single crow feather as a pass a boarding ticket to the end of the world the ghostly passengers stare and turn away, looking out the windows to the white abyss of snow the endless rattling of the train soothing but unsettling a bustling marketplace when it stops and she takes a step out the door here they whisper too she sees a knife glint a golden coin falls the train comes again this time the pass a gleaming gold but now there is no train only an umbrella two boots a raincoat pouring rain and a girl in the middle of it all the puddles reflecting who she could've been and who she was but never her
0
Jan 20, 2025
Jan 20, 2025 at 2:35 PM UTC
unwritten shadows
when did writing start hurting so much being honest with myself so hard? my words bled into sunsets, moonsets, dawns, dusks and the like all my times were marked in some thing written for me to look back on but when did it become so physically difficult, so heavy to be honest with myself? maybe it was when i realized that the mundanity of life is the gravebed of my soul, having money to myself was not that great? maybe when i realized that art for art's sake just reeks of desperation and those younger than me became renowned and my age started to join the generation meant for engagements, marriages, less social possibilities and i then realized that i was lying to myself out of sheer desperation but that i was desperately alone, desperately fighting scared, flying was no longer a dream come true, and the worldspan measured across the palm of my hand had already happened and i was an emu left for extinction, my soul just a joke, an ironical metaphor for the jaded cynicism that i had condemned and i read more and saw more realizing i am frog at the bottom of a well and my victim mentality was maybe a figment of imagination, and the hellscape of my perspective being skewed drove around, round, round in my mind, such a frightening possibility that what if?? what if?? i was just insane?? i was crazy?? was anything that happened to me that bad?? is there something wrong with me?? i was almost convinced and then i felt my heart truly shatter i realized i did not actually matter
0
Oct 29, 2021
Oct 29, 2021 at 1:53 AM UTC
when did writing start hurting so much
when did writing start hurting so much being honest with myself so hard? my words bled into sunsets, moonsets, dawns, dusks and the like all my times were marked in some thing written for me to look back on but when did it become so physically difficult, so heavy to be honest with myself? maybe it was when i realized that the mundanity of life is the gravebed of my soul, having money to myself was not that great? maybe when i realized that art for art's sake just reeks of desperation and those younger than me became renowned and my age started to join the generation meant for engagements, marriages, less social possibilities and i then realized that i was lying to myself out of sheer desperation but that i was desperately alone, desperately fighting scared, flying was no longer a dream come true, and the worldspan measured across the palm of my hand had already happened and i was an emu left for extinction, my soul just a joke, an ironical metaphor for the jaded cynicism that i had condemned and i read more and saw more realizing i am frog at the bottom of a well and my victim mentality was maybe a figment of imagination, and the hellscape of my perspective being skewed drove around, round, round in my mind, such a frightening possibility that what if?? what if?? i was just insane?? i was crazy?? was anything that happened to me that bad?? is there something wrong with me?? i was almost convinced and then i felt my heart truly shatter i realized i did not actually matter
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24
Someone once told me that the greatest evil in life was to not be able to see all the beauty that it has to offer-- To be eyeless. But looking around, how could it be so evil ... so wrong to not be able to see? Glance in any direction, and all that is, is a hellscape. Violence glorified, the devil incarnate. Vicariously living through the blood of others--the hate. Not to mention the soapboxes made of tissue, and the horses so high they could scrape the very sky. And I'd be remiss to fail to mention all the masks. A mask for work, a mask for when we're out. A mask for family? You need not even ask. We even have our very own mask to wear when we stare at ourselves in the mirror. So, I believe this person is wrong.   The greatest evil is not to be eyeless but to have eyes and not see-- Not see the pointlessness of it all.
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Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019 at 6:33 PM UTC
Eyeless