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lmbf Aug 2018
Dear me,
Your whole life is out there. It's just waiting for you.

Even though your life is still short, you've done so much with the time you've been given. Can't you see? You've written endless poems about friendship and love. You've lived in many places too. Even though it did affect you a little bit, you still did your best to make lasting friendships, despite knowing that you might only have a short time to spend together. Others might have just kept to themselves if they were in your place. And though you got hurt at times, your heart never became angry towards the world. The way I see it, that's the attitude of some of the strongest among us.

That's why you shouldn't be hurt if sometimes you don't get the things - or the people - you love the most. It only means, they weren't right for you...yet. What will be given instead, in time, is not what is right but rather what is best for you. Just trust in it.

You are stronger than you think.

Yours,
lmbf

-

Originally written in Tagalog.

Nandiyan po ang buong buhay mo. Hinihintay ka niya lang.

Kahit maigsi pa ang buhay mo, nakagawa ka na ng marami sa oras na binigyan ka ng ating Diyos. Di mo ba nakikita? Nagsulat ka ng maraming poems tungkol sa pagkaraon ng kaibigan at sa pagmamahal. Nabuhay ka sa maraming lugar. At kahit ikaw ay naapektuhan ng kaunti, pinilit mo pang magkaraon ng kaibigan, kahit alam mo na baka maigsi lang ang oras na kasama mo sila. Magtatago na lang ang mga ibang bata kung palaging ganyan ang sitwasyon nila, katulad sa'yo. At kahit minsan sinasaktan ka, hindi kailanman naging galit ang puso mo tungkol sa mundo. Sa tingin ko, yan mismo ay ang ugali katulad sa mga mas matapang sa ating lahat.

Kaya, huwag kang maging malungkot kung minsan hindi mo nakukuha ang mga bagay - o ang mga tao - na mahal mo ng sobra. Ibig sabihin, hindi pa sila bagay para sa'yo. Ang ibibigay na lang ay hindi yung mga bagay, pero yung tamang tama para sa'yo. Tiwala lang.

Ikaw ay mas malakas kaysa sa tingin mo.
Summer Freewrite Sessions 2018 // A letter to myself. i realize now how much of my work is centered around sad topics and felt I needed to remind myself of a few things.
Alyssa Underwood Nov 2015
Promises made by mortal man
Are rarely met by mortal hand
For though they strive to win your heart
Such passions land far from their start

They'll paint, so clear, a future bliss
And draw you in with blinding kiss
But just when you have bought the dream
Man finds pursuits more worthy to deem

Ambition, sport and other girls
Whose flattering words and smiles like pearls
Will tempt a fellow to leave his nest
And lie upon another's breast

'Tis pain so sharp you think you'll die
And tears aren't found enough to cry
A torture rack would be better friend
With all its tearing limb to limb

To have your innards disemboweled
Or face the fiercest lion's growl
Would be kinder punishment than this
From one who knew your ****** kiss

And yet within this darkest night
A hint of moonbeam's softest light
Might rise upon such blistered soul
And shine into its gaping hole

For romance still may spark a flame
And whisper to your heart by name
To woo you in your bleakest hour
With promises of healing power

Promises unlike the others you've known
Whose good intentions were quickly thrown
Away by the frailty of human flesh
When sin's entanglements did enmesh

No, this One's words are wholly sure
His heart and mind and will are pure
His faithfulness cannot be shaken
Nor His covenant love ever be taken

He chose you before He made the sun
And said to the Father, "I want that one!"
He searched you out through all your years
Through all your joys and pains and fears

And now He waits for you to grasp
That deepest pleasure lies in His clasp
That His own kiss brings highest delight
That His face is eye's sweetest sight

It's He alone Who can fill you up
And saturate your empty cup
When life has left you hollow and dry
And numb to further wish to try

When memories lie tarnished with stains
And not one worthy dream remains
He reaches in with perfect hope
That pulls you up like saving rope

And as He wipes tears from your eyes
He says to you: I am the Prize!
Take hold of Me and drink My love
Come sit with Me in realms above

For I have blessings prepared for you
That you've never imagined, but oh it's true
I long to give you all of Me
To draw you close and let you see

That in your pain you know Me best
That heart's rejection finds its rest
In this sweet fellowship of intimacy
Where you are made to look like Me

I'll give you love like you've not known
Enough to see your will o'erthrown
Enough to pour it out upon
That very one who did you wrong

For that one, too, knows thirst of soul
And needs My love to fill the hole
Which, though he's tried hard to ignore,
Pleads, "More and more and more and more!"

But if he never should respond
Still, that pure love will seal the bond
That ties you to My own heartbeat
For then you'll see My love complete

For though the world resists Me still
I love them fiercely and always will
I've known rejection like no other
From bride and kindred and friend and brother

And when you love through hate and scorn
A jewel within your heart is born
For then you glimpse My own heart's breaking
And learn My secrets of rarest taking

To rejoice in the face of bitter spite
Requires sure death but will invite
Your soul to dance in gardens of bliss
Where you will know My Lover's kiss

So come and dance with Me, make haste
There's no spare moment left to waste
Abundant life waits through this door
With thrills and pleasures evermore!
~~~
Iskra Aug 2018
Laying in my bed curled up
Acid in my throat because I didn’t eat
Clenching my fists around my blankets because I can’t sleep

Are you thinking of me?
Laying in a tent, uncomfortably,
Snuggling close to your fluffy white dog or your younger brother to stay warm.

Are you missing me?
No. Not the way I’m missing you
You’re not thinking of me the way I’m thinking of you
And though it means the world to me that a beautiful soul like yours is friends with a storm cloud like me, it shatters my heart into thousands of sharp, jagged pieces that you’re
~ just ~
my friend.

“I’m sorry but I need to know, is it mutual? It’s alright if it’s a no, I can handle it, I just want you...to be honest”
A pause...
Then the raindrop falls.
“Right now, it’s a no”

Ripples.
Right now.
Right now.
Right now.
No.
No.
No.
STOP.
I care about you so much, I know I need to let you go, so you would never read this, and I would never show anyone this.
It’s all swirling around in my chest, faster and faster until it explodes, word ***** and tears.
I love you.

I didn’t tell you I loved you, only that I had feelings for you.
Why bother? It would’ve made things more painful for me, more bitter for you.

But I can’t show you this.
I don’t want you to change.
I don’t want you to change the way you speak to me, to change your mind when you’re about to type a heart emoji,
to stop yourself after just saying “goodnight” and leave out the “baby”

This is my undoing, not yours, and I want you to keep letting me be your anchor, your shoulder, your shield, my open arms waiting to catch you when you tumble from your flight.
I can’t keep loving you, I can’t stop loving you.
I want to stop feeling at all.
Thank you all so much for all your compassion and the amazing comments. Your kindness brought me to tears. I’d send hugs and healing (if I could) to those of you who commented because you’re experiencing the same thing right now, and I promise you, even though it hurts like **** now, it does get better.
Soul Scribe Jul 2018
The Sun, of fire and beauty
Destruction and Life.
Something so magnificent,
You can't even look at it.

My son, of fire and passion
Life, until death.
Something so magnificent,
You can't look away.

Maybe we don't look at the sun,
Because we are afraid that we
Might not be able to let go
Of the beauty, that might just end up,
Destroying us.
Compares true love and that which appears to be love, but will end up destroying you in the end.
Wayward Jul 2018
What is it about you that haunts me?
I let you go so I can set you free.
You meant everything to me and we were forever,
But it isn't our time to be together.  

I was completely lost before I met you.
You gave me reason to live and direction to follow.
But now we're back at square one,
And the loneliness has already begun.

I promised you I'd never leave.
You promised never to let go of me.
Yet here we are, far apart in distance and in thought.
I wonder how we'd be if we hadn't fought.

Blocking is a blessing, and you used it well.
I regret my decision, now I'm in ****.
A life without you, is no life at all.
I just wish you'd pick up my call.

With several attempts I lost faith.
I think it's goodbye, this is our fate.
I'll always wonder if I made a mistake,
If I could've avoided all our heartache.

                                                     ­             -Wayward❤
I didn't really know how else to let go of my emotions. Its really bad, I agree, but I needed some sort of an outlet for the hurt I was feeling. Much love.

*Update*
It's really sad that so many of you can relate to this poem. I'm so sorry for whatever you're going through. Stay safe loves!
kgl Dec 2014
like a cigarette, ignited and raised to your scornful lips
you made me your addiction
and i let you consume me
Marina Kay Mar 2014
You left me stranded
in bleak oblivion,
Despite all the love
I planted in your core,
In faith for daffodils to bloom through your barren soul.

Your wielded words had crippled me time and time again
Paralysing my senses,
Until my sanity began to decay.

But now I've bled you out of my veins
And unto my paper for the last era,
Inking your name away
Untangling myself out of these chains.

The moment has come for me to let you go
After fifteen months, you’d think I already did so.
I'm finally letting you go after fifteen months of agony. I won't be writing about you any more.
lmbf Mar 2018
I can't write for you anymore.
Yes, I have hundreds of loosely scrawled letters written, typed, stored in one or three or five of the books I've taken over five years in a milk crate from city to state to small town and back again.
Yes, it took me an arm, a leg and a misguided rebound to get over you
But alas, here we are.
Yes, I know you won't miss me - though I know at one point you did care
But it's time for us to say goodbye.

I will dot the period, not the semicolon
(like you did a million years ago)
Seal the last letter with a smile
And never turn back.

Not until my teens ask me, "Mama, who were you before the world broke its promises?"
Will I pull out the milk crate
Filled with loosely scrawled letters written, typed, stored
And talk about the curly-haired blonde boy who first broke my heart.
Elizabeth Zenk Jul 2018
Wistful tears melt down my cheeks.
Nostalgic of our time together.
I kept myself together for a year, and now without the pitiful distractions, I have to look at myself, alone.
Debilitating heartache
Bleakening one’s self.
Pining to both relive and forget the past.
Everything is still so crystal clear,
so picturesque in nature.
The smells, the sights, the feelings.
How could I have let it slip away from me like that?
Did he ever speak of me?
Ever talk about me?
Or did he just forget the joyous days we spent together under the heat of moment’s madness?
Am I the only one homesick for not my house, but for the person that broke me?
My lip twitches as sentimental recollections start to overflow and spill, creating a puddle of emptiness, longing, and heartbreak.
Watching the clock tick down seconds I've wasted
waiting for you.
Lizzy Jan 2015
You wrote songs for me,
You’d give everything for my heart.
A month went by,
We could no longer stand being apart.

You made the trip to see me,
And took my breath with your kiss.
We were so in love,
How the **** did it come to this?

You knew I was weak,
And couldn’t stand being alone.
Without you nothings right,
You were my only home.

I got scared when the night came,
I needed you so bad, and you weren’t there.
Sitting here tearing myself apart.
Screaming prayers but I knew you wouldn’t care.

You weren’t there and it broke my heart,
You promised me you’d always be.
You said you were going to get me out of here.
You said you still loved me but I couldn’t see.

I thought love was supposed to heal,
And for a while it did.
If this is love, how could it hurt so bad?
I told you to leave, you said “take care of yourself kid”.

And you’re probably right,
It wasn’t our time.
But how could I “take care”
When you weren’t mine?

It came down to the fact
Being with you hurt just as bad
As being without you.
I’m trying to forget everything we had.

Because the memories are what hurt the most,
We were kids high from love, some ****** kid.
I need to forget so I can live again,
But life won’t be the same, if we end up like this.

You made me say “forever”,
When you said “always”.
I still hope forever will happen,
I really thought it would end up that way.

Maybe I’ve been ******,
Just some heartbroken fool.
A naïve idiot,
But now I cry at school.
I can’t get through a day,
Without wishing you were here.
Without feeling so lost I can’t breathe.
I know I ****** it up with my fear.

“Don’t beat yourself up”,
But I’m overcome with guilt.
Beating myself up is what I do best.
I thought I could stop it with the wall I built.

But you got in my veins,
I don’t know how it happened.
I was so careful,
But this is the end.

Isn’t it?
Or will you be back?
Please keep your promise,
I need it so bad.

I need stability,
But this love is ******* crazy.
Euphoria and pain,
But it’ll be okay, maybe?
ryn Jan 2015
Backdrop of hues from heaven's palette
Two silhouettes stood hand in hand
A pair so in love on their deserted islet
Only witnesses were the sky and the sand

Two silhouettes with roles of lovers
Frolicked forever in the setting, evening sun
Only they'd know what laid under covers
Secrets of pure passion in their blood did run

Their merriment presented bare in a playful dance
Two silhouettes engulfed in their own private universe
Kisses and embraces offered in a reciprocative trance
Dark lips matched the other's voiceless whispers

Two silhouettes then dissolved with the set of sun
Strained my eyes to unravel this sweet shadow clad mystery
Last few moments pierced through like a shot from a gun
Because I realised that one was you while the other wasn't...

                            me...
Robin Lemmen Jul 2018
You are liquid fire
Come, sit down
Let me have a sip
I do am parched
Come, lay down
Next to me
And let me explore
Your body made of matches
I am made of pure
Burning
Golden desire
Come, take me down
We do burn so beautifully
After 2 am
In the morning light
kha Nov 2018
na ikaw ang inuna kahit ako ang iyong huli.
sinta, maaari bang masimulan nating muli?
parang tangang ikaw ang pinili
hinayaang makulong sa iyong tali

lahat ng aking alinlangan ay isinantabi
pinagkatiwala ang buong sarili
akala ko'y hindi ako nagkamali
ngunit nagsabi ka ng "sandali,"

"sandali, hindi ako lilisan
ngunit sandali, ako pala'y nalilito minsan
sandali. makinig ka muna. sandali lang.
hindi yata kita napupusuan."

hindi mo naman kasalanan
na ang sakit ay hindi man lang maibsan
hindi mo naman kasalanan
na madali akong palitan

hindi mo naman kasalanan
na hindi ako ang nakatuluyan
hinding-hindi mo rin kasalanan
na hindi ako kawalan

hindi mo kasalanan, mahal
na ang boses ko'y garalgal
at kapag ako'y hinihingal
kapag sinisigaw ang aking pagmamahal

at paghihintayin pa kita ng matagal
pahihintulutan kang maging pagal
ang usad sa akin ay laging mabagal
kaya hinding-hindi ka susugal

hindi mo kasalanan
ang aking mga kasalanan.
kaya't ako'y iyo nang iwan
sa sarili **** tahanan.
kha Nov 2018
kasalanan bang umibig,
nang walang hangganan?
hindi nagpipigil,
laging handang lumaban?

kasalanan bang umibig,
kahit batid na masasaktan?
paulit-ulit mang matalo,
lalaban hanggang sukdulan?

kasalanan bang umibig
at bigyan ka ng mga tula,
tingin mo'y nakakakilig -
kahit ang mga mata mo'y 'di ko pa nakikita?

kasalanan bang umibig,
kapag ikaw ang nagpapangiti sa bibig,
nakulayan ang bawat pintig
ng pusong naghahanap ng hilig?

kasalanan bang ang hilig
ay ikaw na tamang-tama?
boses mo'y nakakanginig,
kahit hindi ko pa naririnig.

kasalanan bang ang hilig
ay ikaw na perpekto.
tila ginawa ka ng Diyos
na hindi maaabot.

kasalanan bang ang hilig
ay makita ka nang harapan?
upang hindi lang sa panaginip
na ako'y nasasaktan.

kasalanan bang ang hilig
ang isipin na ikaw ay tama?
hanap-hanap ang iyong titig
na pananakit lang naman ang tema?
Cné Mar 2016
Mentally beginning anew,
Shower and storms scramble,
A mind, a mess, stuck in the cold of blue,
Writhing in pain without preamble.

A season after the cries of winter,
The tears of petals shed,
Flows hope once more enter
Where a broken heart bleed.

Relief of breath ooze,
As fragile blooms of forgiveness peek,
Through darken days of self abuse,
To nurture the delicate emotional physique,

Healing in time blind,
Pure instinct survives,
An emotional breakdown of the mind.
Until finally, awaken spring arrives.
In winter, depression manages to take its strong grip on me, almost strangling me. Spring is a breath of fresh air to my mind, with its negative inner voice.
grace snoddy Dec 2017
regret.
i regret letting you in.

love will always start with illusion.
and i fell in love with
the mirage you displayed.
i told myself that
the person i fell in love with
was still there.
that is why i stuck around

for so long.

for so long i believed that you still loved me
as much as the sun loved the sky.
even when you said you didn’t,
even when your voice didn’t feel like

home.

home was late night conversations.
home was your laugh ringing in my ears.
but what was once the house we loved in,
it is now dominated by ghosts.

it has been 8 months.
i still

regret.
i regret letting you in.
devine Aug 2018
the flowers were blooming
so were you
your eyes were glowing
so were mine

waving deserts
drank water from the river
danced through the grass
you led me closer
with just a single glance

the sweetest taste
strongest desire
i've never dreamed of
it whispered in chemical symbols
something i've never heard of

there was a lot to learn
but time wasn't at our side

i saw right through the eyes
fearful when wish to fight
despite it all
we continue on
fools in a glimpse of paradise
you saw right through the eyes
let go when wish to hold on

it was okay
while the petals covered
it was insane
to control the uncontrolled

but the flowers were still blooming
the scent of lights and waters
blue to green
i found myself longing for you
for summer
before it wilted away forever

before you
slipped away forever
Call Me By Your Name
Emily Jul 2018
recently
I got a little older,
learned a lesson or two,
like how loving someone
could never be as poetic
as I wanted it to.
like how nothing
could ever be as poetic
as I want it to.
how can I accept
that the miracle of love
isn’t really a miracle at all?
how can I wrap myself
in someone’s arms
when I know
that there isn’t any sort
of poetic loving involved.
how do I unlearn
the romantic thoughts
that taught me
about the fireworks,
the butterflies,
and the fluttering fingers
in the dark.
and accept that
maybe kissing
won’t be as spiritual as I thought.
maybe it’s really just a mouth on mine.
how do I unlearn my innocent heart
who lulled me into a false sense of hope
for a lover who would call
the way my body moves
art.
a lover who would feel
the poetry
in every word
I spoke in the dark.
lmbf Aug 2018
Dear good old friend,

I don't regret a minute of it. Being given the chance to play with you, laugh with you amidst the grassy plains of our old schoolyard. Fifth grade mancala and sixth grade basketball games, the people may have changed but the memories stay the same. And I remember you, me, and our group of friends, and all I can associate with it is the feeling of finally being free.

Who would've known that just four years later, we wouldn't be able to recognize the person standing in front of us?

I let go a long time ago, but try as I might I can't bring myself to forget those years; and every moment is conflated with the kindness of your smile. Almost like it's a portrait frozen in time. While now I know that's nostalgia casting its rose-tinted spell, part of me still wonders whether you think of me, your good old friend, when those years come to mind, too.

You taught me the meaning of seasons. That every season ushers in new people, new meaning; and that what is given sometimes has to be taken away. Though I questioned this truth for a very long time, I no longer hurt over the year we fell apart. In fact, I embrace it. You taught me how to see the joys in life (even when I wanted no part of it) and you taught me how to love. And in doing so, you taught me how to let you go.

People often say that someone might leave your life after you have learned something from him/her. But you always were the exception; you made sure I knew that life goes on no matter who's in it. No matter if you've learned your lesson right away or not.
That just as we learned in seventh grade biology that the human skin repairs itself, we, too, will learn to heal - and maybe even to love others again.

Thank you.

Yours,
l.m.b.f.
Summer Freewrite Sessions 2018 //
though now i can't even recognize the man he has become, here is an old friend whose memories and whose lessons i will always treasure. the wisdom he (albeit unknowingly) imparted upon me before we said goodbye forms a central part of the progression of "SFW 2018" and of my personal growth  this past summer, too. so i felt it necessary to honor him through this piece.

if you have been reading my works this past month - through trending, through your home page, or through a friend, thank you so much! thank you for receiving SFW Sessions warmly and for sharing it, it means the world to me.

if you haven't, i encourage you to check them out. it would be greatly appreciated! (and also some parts of this piece might make more sense.)
Nayya Ayyan Aug 2014
You were, but a music freak
And I
Just another song
Removed from playlist
After being overplayed
Hayleigh Nov 2016
I refuse to spill my heart over any more pages for you.

How do I heal if I break every time I feel?
Mom, can you hear me?
Its 5:00 p.m and I came for dinner, it's no test.
Please pace yourself tonight
You've had 3 drinks already, tonight please for me, give it a rest.

Mom, I need to tell you about my day
Okay this is drink number 4, and dinner is served.
Mom I got a promotion at work today
I can't believe it!
"Honey can you pass the wine please?" She says to dad
Conversation swerved

Mom how have you been doing?
She tells me the same story she told me yesterday when I asked.
Dinner is cleared, time for dessert.
Of course, dessert is just another glass.

Mom you look beautiful tonight,
Oh wait your make up is all smudged up.
"Please fix it for me baby".
Shes too shaky, but not for another cup.

Mom I miss our girls days
Getting our nails done and going for lunch
"I would love to grab some mimosas tomorrow,
How about we go for brunch?"

Mom I'm too sleepy for brunch, how about we go to dinner?
The restaurant down the road is brand new
I hear it's a winner

Mom why dont you want to try it?
"I can't go to dinner without my wine"
We picked a new restaurant
All was far from fine.

Mom please dont yell at the waitress
"HEY OVER HERE WE NEED SOME ICE!!"
I knew this was a bad idea.
When shes drinking she isnt always nice.

Mom that was super rude.
You cant speak to people that way.
If you were sober it never would have happened.
You're more careful with what you say.

Mom please don't be mad at me,
I was only trying to help
"All you ever so is pick on me," she cries
"I need to leave here, I'm out."

Mom it's you whose breaking me
And I cant keep watching you fall
You have proven alcohol is more important.
I guess I dont matter after all.
Robin Lemmen Jul 2018
His confessions were slow and seldom
Whereas yours fall rapid and steady
From your lips, dipping down
To kiss my body
His loneliness was everlasting
Whereas yours settles for nothing
Looks me square in the eyes
Daring me not to smile
His words left me bruised and blackened
Whereas yours find soft healing
When you tell me you'll do small things too
To make me happy

I don't know

If I deserve

You.
yúyīn Jan 2017
Everyone comes with scars,
But you can love them away.
I told you that I wasn't perfect,
You told me the same
'You don't get it, I-"
'Shh, I love you, imperfections and all',
You said
But a month later,
Everything changed
You looked at me with disgust-
Like I was **** on legs
'I'm breaking up with you',
You said
'Why', I asked
'You're not perfect, I don't love you'
Hysterical sobs, at the loss of-
What I thought was love
'But I love you!',
I screamed at the closed door,
For you walked out on me
Your previous words meant nothing
I'm not worth loving, why?
The cuts on my thighs?
My eyes full of hurt?
My mouth full of lies?
The pain you caused,
Hurt more than the fresh cuts-
I just made
These were dedicated to you
Etched into my skin,
The perfect reminder of the pain you caused
'I love you' it said,
Used my blood to make-
a small heart on my tear-stained cheek
Then I slashed both wrists
They were dedicated to you
I love you
Hours later, remembering something-
You left
Found me lying there,
With the note cut into my hand,
'I love you' it said
The perfect reminder of the pain you caused
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