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When the dust clears and you are near
The air brushes a wind straight through your hair
Sensations I cannot explain, sunshine or rain,
I see you see me call your name
In silence, the desperate call, I wait each night
If the stars align, and Jupiter meets Saturn, then it is the time
The gate will open and you will meet the lover’s nest
The owl awaits and watches the hawk below Venus once the sun sets
You know you are a parasite
But I will let you feed off of me
Sometimes I desire the poison
And a little dose is healthy now and then
Because what I have is also yours
And I live for you, I eat for you, I survive for you
Your primary host
They say you will destroy me from the inside out
But I lured you in, I consciously made you part of me
You did not come uninvited, and that is the point
You came willingly
So I feed myself you as you nourish yourself through me
A symbiotic relationship
For I do not go where I am not wanted
Through good and bad times we (d)evolve together
A true matrimony
Now forever covalently bonded
An eternal place of pure fire and brimstone
Cannot compare to the depths of an unrested mind
The depths to which you can find no relief or to run and hide
Hell is being alone in a crowded street or in a room with friends and family
Or alone in the comfort of a made bed with you pacing inside my mind freely
Heaven is all these things under different circumstances
And the difference is in the mood and state in which the soul dances
So the white dog lives with his obsession over his little black spot
For this, he wants to run out of his skin but he is trapped while his mind rots
Even to escape his body, he is always left with his mind worried where he buried his bone
And he knows the dirt from his paws will leave a trace for others to find and roam
His territory gets occupied from time to time
By dogs with bigger spots and darker shades of black
And his mind loses his dominance by inferior thoughts of all that he lacks
Hell is when the comfort of your home becomes another prison
And there is nowhere else to go but where you are
Heaven is making peace with this and the ability to surrender
For having lived backwards is the devil and to live in reverse is evil
The old dog can learn the new trick that to turn around and go forward is the way of God
Heaven Hell Dreams Dog Devil God Peace Acceptance
Cover up your skin
Those who abandon us wear us neatly thin
The only way to win is to fill your empty heart
I will give you what I don’t have as it is who we are
Cover up your skin
Hear the singing bowl or the mountain stream
If we blend, what could it all mean?
You and I or one and the same
Cover up your skin
From blonde to black
If you hide from me
I will always find you in my dreams
Cover up your skin
The crow cries in the trees
Its tears sing a repeating melody
The wind always blows you back to me
Cover up your skin
The last bit of flesh I want to see
Underneath the art you can bleed
And I will taste it, but not for free
stream of consciousness love music
Then I heard, "We've met before. I believe countless times in innumerable lifetimes." She looked at me and said, "Boy, we have already done this. Don't you remember?" And the girl in my dreams said to look inside her eyes but not at her eyes. "There is a way out. I can show you if only you believe me. We can be free," she stated. Can the patterns really ever be broken? "You want temporary pleasure for permanent damage. This will **** you," she said. "Your mental imprisonment is an endless cycle, you broken record," she furiously lamented. "There is pain in everything. Pain in pleasure but pleasure in pain. What is growth without death? What is progress in happiness without change? The ultimate comfort is unknowingly repeating the same cycles over and over again. To enter the uncomfort zone is ultimate freedom." A beautiful dream just a brutal nightmare disguised that replays real events of the past in the mind until I wake up to realize they are no longer mine.

I sit still and she whispers for me to look down as she offers me a hot cup of tea. There is a South Korean woman in a red dress in my tea. She wears a lavender rose through her hair while looking at me. The ocean current pushes the waves to the surface of my mouth. She holds my hand softly, then gives a firm grip.

I am alone in a bedroom and there is a beautiful, but haunting Gregorian chant. I go out to the garden to pick foreign fruit from fences near an old church. I eat the fruit and she tells me to watch her hand. She draws three circles in the air. The first circle is small, the second is slightly bigger, and the third is much larger. "What is this?" I asked her with confusion in my voice. "Chaos," she said in an assuring manner. The circles followed each other surrounding me and going up and down. "But...can you see the order?" she asked me. I just watched them. "To understand the meaning is futile. It is beyond your comprehension. Things happen, you see. Maybe you think they are good or bad. It is just nature. Go with it and allow it. There you will become truth."

This woman wore black, she had pale skin, seductive emerald-green eyes, long and straight black hair, with a face so beautiful is was beyond reason. I could not look away. She directed me with her finger to come with her. We were naked and she kissed me in a dark room with the moonlight striking her body from the window of her bedroom. I closed my eyes and I heard her say, "Now try to find me." I opened my eyes and she was gone. As euphoric as I felt, I wondered where she had gone and if I would ever see her again.

I awoke to the oppressing sunlight burning my eyes. I felt an emptiness like never before. I searched lifetimes looking for her, only to receive hints of her echo. Every time it feels for sure I will meet her, I open the door to the beginning again. So I run and run in dreams. My mind is exhausted.

There she is. I have found her. I wait for her to look at me and recognize me, but she never does. She sits alone crying. I wait and then I leave. Something is wrong. Which is worse, I thought: To be rejected by the most important thing you have ever known or for it to disappear forever from your grasp and live each day and night yearning for it again? If only there was a cure for the mind's obsessions.

I woke up with no recollection of anything or who I even was. My phone was near my head ringing. I looked and it said, "Unknown Caller". Usually I never answer, but something told me to pick up and my curiosity got the best of me. I answered but said nothing. I listened and she said, "I found you," then asked, "What are we when our story ends?" There was nothing but pure silence until she responded with the question, "Now are you ready to be free?" I confirmed and followed her into the darkness.
Frankie Gestone Sep 2018
Play that melody for me

And whisper in my ears

You don't know it but you saw right through me and my worst fears

The game I was playing was in your court

Frozen still from your spell, I could not hide or run anymore

And you are toxic, but it is just what I need

Because you are beautiful especially when you scream or bleed

Enticing is your magic, mesmerized and hypnotized with tricks

Pure euphoria, I cannot help but love it

Blinking fading lights in a dark room is where I get my fix

Your pain is also my pain

For it is a pleasure in me to see you crying in the rain

Through chaos and order, your eyes ask for more

But you are taken and everyone wants some of you

The most elegant witch, a black widow crawling on a floor

You are just a lost little girl seeking a home

You are the witch but all your black clothes cannot cover your empty soul

I can see all the universe through my reflection in your eyes

Green emerald with a hint a blue liberates the waterfall of tears from your cries

I will search for you again through the skies of time

Somewhere between the seas and the mountains

I can conquer all and make you mine
waterfalls, dreams, love, Iseo, Italy, eyes, emerald, passion,
Frankie Gestone Feb 2018
By: Frankie and Christine

He knew as soon as she walked out the door that he would never see her again. His heart sunk down into his stomach as he realized the only thing left to survive on are the memories of her. Fists clenched, blood pulsing through his veins, he set out for the only place that had ever made him feel sane--the docks. He kneeled down, head facing the water, he saw her reflection over his as his memory tasted her cherry lips. She whispered to him, something distant and vague that he couldn’t decipher. Confused, he nervously reached into his pocket, and the key to her apartment flew out and into the water- he had forgotten he previously stole it from her room. “What did she just say?” he wondered.

His palms sweating, and hands shaking, he reached for his cell phone anticipating a call or text any minute now. He contemplated giving her a call, searched for her name in his Contacts List, and realized that her name was no longer there. “The nerve,” Gianni thought, “how dare she erase her number from my **** phone? Now what am I going to do? Well, it’s better if she contacts me first anyway.”

Days passed and no phone call from Gabriella. Frantically biting his nails, he figured by now she has already moved on with another lucky guy, while he has been completely erased from her heart and mind- what a bitter cold thought how cruel life can really be. “Honestly, though, wouldn’t she at least want her key back?” he asked himself as the bitter cold swept upon his raw, cracked cheek. “And furthermore, how the hell did she get back into her apartment? No one else was home,” he tried to think rationally.

Gianni needed answers, and despite feeling crazy, he ventured back to the neighborhood where their love once was shared--would she be home? For what felt like an eternity, he ran towards her home, but he slowed down once he reached the door face-to-face suddenly feeling hesitant to ring her bell. Fingers quivering, he slowly pressed the small, black button. His body aching with the thought of the worst possible outcome, he turned around and slunk out before he could even see if there was a response.

Gianni found himself sitting on a bench a few blocks away, lonely and insecure. He looked at the time on his watch, it was 8:45 pm. He exhaled-it was so cold, he could see his breath -and in the vapor, he saw the image of Gabriella’s face. Then, the phone suddenly rang in his pocket- he reached hoping to see her mystical number again, but it was his mother calling for dinner.

He made his way back home, through side streets that he hadn’t ventured in years, finally to come home to see Gabriella in her baby blue peacoat waiting for him outside his stoop. There, he saw her, standing with open arms and a smile awaiting his presence. He walked towards her, but as soon as he put his arms around her embrace, she disappeared like the cold vapor from his breath- it was a dream- it was all just a dream.

“Was it a dream though?” he thought to himself, “or am I hallucinating? Is there a difference?”

The food on the table repulsed him and he could not eat any of it- it was steak and mashed potatoes again. He felt an urge to *****. There was a knock at the door, which jolted him in his seat and shook him to his core. He ran down the stairs to open to the door, only to find, Raymond, the UPS man, delivering a package that he needed to sign for. To his surprise, the return address was from New Mexico with just the name “Moretti” on the upper-lefthand corner--Gabriella’s last name.

He hesitated if he should open up the package, but his hands were opening the box before he could think again and he found two blue onyx gemstones with a note. “Gianni---the night we last spoke, I impulsively packed my bags and hopped on the very next plane to New Mexico. Maybe one day we will meet again and I will feel for you what I once felt. Have a wonderful life.”

His heart stopped, and he remembered how they used to just spend some summer evenings on the floor of her bedroom listening to Mother Nature’s Son by The Beatles from the White Album- a tear dropped from his left eye onto the backside of his dry hand like a raindrop onto a cracked drought ground. Humming along to that tune, he Googled what blue onyx gemstones are used for. These stones are especially good for people under mental and emotional stress and they are said to improve one's intuition and natural instincts, eliminate bad habits, give the strength for and to change, and to experience an overall feeling of inner rejuvenation.

“Guess she’s trying to tell me something,” he thought. He felt so dead inside and wondered how could she have left during the lowest and weakest point in his life. Tossing and turning all night in his bed, he remembered how he was once told how people put crystals underneath their pillows at night. Why not give it a shot? He put the two gemstones underneath his pillow, laid his tired head down on the cold side of the pillow, and suddenly drifted into a dream.

Up floating in the cosmos, Gabriella appeared to him surrounded by a baby blue light, the same shade as her peacoat. He began elevating up towards her level as he looked into her aquamarine sky eyes, as if it were her eyes that elevated him, and then he began swimming in the air with the pink fish and the violet dolphins. Then shades of orange, amber, metallic green, silver, and gold swam in circles around his soul, while a mirror came down in front of him and he saw his reflection of half black and white. All in the background surrounding him were various shades of gray. Gianni then began to hear Gabriella sing their cosmic song and suddenly he now could understand what her mirage had once whispered to him at the docks: We are timeless and you are now here, not with me but as me, inside me. Let go and burn out like the flame in the wind. You are nowhere. You are we. We are both the lock and the key.
Love, Dreams, Colors, Blue Onyx, Heaven, Hell, Peace, Surrealism, Universe
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