the ones should be worried about
are not in the present
seducing with their devilish smiles
and their soft, husky voices

the ones leaving their footsteps
in the sands of barren past
unreachable, devoid of closure
are the most dangerous of them all.

it's not the sweet laugh you hear
caressing your lips and your ears
that will hunt and drown you
it's the laugh of yesterday's loss
that will haunt, forevermore.

everything must end
so by logic
my pain would too

my eyes
won't shed
a single tear
for you.

am i
moving on?

wait.
what's there to move
away from?

we never had anything.
you were never mine.
i was never yours.

there was never anything
and there won't be any.

there was never any light
for me to hide away from.

but before you go
tell me, why am i
in such darkness?

was it because i never
had courage to tell you?
or maybe if i did
i'd be an *******
and i'd lose you anyway?

i don't know.

i am not one
to live by code
but i sure as hell
can't live by a lie.

if a genie
granted me
three wishes...

the first would be
to never have met you.

my second wish
well, i don't think
i need any more.

i was already miserable
and always will be.

because money
i can earn them.

because fame
well, i don't like them.

because love
i had them.

i had you.

now i don't want them
not you
not anymore.

it's been awhile
since i wrote anything
for anyone
even for myself.

the day before yesterday
i decided that
i can no longer live
alongside this
cold river of silence

i crossed it.

fingers crossed
legs trembling
head's spinning
hands shaking
right into your
cold embrace.

and i realized that the sun
will never shine on me again
ever.

half of my heart
whispers
agreeing with
your very words
that i deserve everything

this chill
down my spine
this pain
all over my body
and this heaviness
upon my crooked heart.

i replayed your words
in my palace
letter by letter.

each second passes by
and not a single one
pass by
without reminding me
that i might never
get across
this river.

x

yesterday
i woke up as if
nothing had happened
like the day before yesterday
i never drowned
and got lost in the currents

x

today
i am pretty **** sure
the river got me good

the stones below my feet
laughed at my tears
these water running
chuckled at my regret
these trees
turned away
hoping that this man
would drown faster

it was made sure
by nature
and by Fate herself

no sunrise
nor drought
can get me through
this time.

it was simple.

i fell in love.

i've been living off cities
crossing busy streets
traces of neon lights
diminished and reborn
every single night

i've been yearning
off the pavements
of unnamed streets
the ghost towns
the unknown frowns upon me

an anonymous excitement
wanderous
magnificent
and persistent.

the whispers
of the calamity
and calmness
before the storm
worries
and
excites me

the constant
awareness
of dangers lurking
makes me hold you
your hand
tighter around my fingers

my mind spoke of nothing
but to fear
to protect
and to be brave
all at the same
second of it all