Seen distant in the heat haze visions seen to cast
Blue hazed mountains framed in lands red dust
Cattle quietly grazing knowing not their fate
Shearers gathered campfires pushing back the night
Tales as stories flowing liquid amber in no haste
Across this wide brown land so rich and yet so vast
Such a short history since that first tall white mast
A land so young so proud but then again so new
The shears and the cockys together saw troubles through
Then came the sprawling cities so vast in chrome and glass
Eating up the shorefronts like possessed high rise colonies
Shattered now the silence the freedom and the peace
Where once there toiled the battlers so many mouths to feed
Life now ruled by foreign time clocks set in many hands
Changes now to our culture most of them far from good
Where now gone the dreamtimes lost to myth and youth
(GE2014) (C) Reserved

dancing away the seasons
why do sounds of spring sound like
fingernails on a chalkboard
all I want is warmth
all I want is to feel the sun on my skin
all I want is to brush golden rays in your hair
and call this fire mine
there's this destructive flame
it glimmers and sways
melts away the things that give us
power and fame
but through the leaves and the rain
we were born to be vain
no one sees you cry in the summer
icy cold haze where temperature is so far away
you need no one but the sun
and since the last two years have begun
I am drained and sunken
I need to sleep for the spring

Off with your mask, foul deceiver
My eyes pried half-open, mud still dripping
People like trees
Just enough to see
A halting glance of who you really are
Horrid face painted, ugly and hateful hidden
Behind pretty shades of green and haze of smoke
Pleasing to the senses, illuminating the beauty of numbness
Tripping me into the abyss, you make darkness out of love
And convince me that it is found in the
Empty spaces, colour-absent
Twin brother of lies
Your heart is hard
You stifle a laugh to keep me from knowing
Your contempt

swinging, draped gown tailored to her body, sheer, covered in lace
onyx stone she slays any opposition
dropping spaces within
her labyrinthine maze
to squeeze out every drop of
renown for which she paid
tasting, craving every single shred of love and fame and praise
yet no one fully trusts her satin words
of manic haze
pressing fingers to her temples,
praying for a quiet page perfect moment
too eager, full of haste
desperate to maintain her facade of grace
her frenzied try hard card, an easy ace of spades

Have you ever woken up inside a flashback?
Do you know how it feels to be pushed down into your own body after years of being pulled apart?

I awoke many times in a haze,
wondering what year it was;
months ago I finally came to and I thought I was trapped in 2014
and instead of waking to go to school,
like I was so convinced of,
I went to work and went through the motions of something I somehow knew all too well.

How did I go so many years in this separation of self?
I awoke to all of this abundance and responsibility I don't remember creating.
I could have cried out screams of mercy
for whatever stole all these years
to give them back.

I typed away at my computer,
but it all felt so foreign.
I was supposed to be in high school;
I'm supposed to be myself.

I've awoken many times in absolute fear,
not even sure who I am,
where I am,
what time period I'm in.
It's terrifying and I'm so tired of being ripped apart from reality like this.

Have you ever been consumed by a flashback?
Hurled and spit out by the jaws of the past
and regurgitated into the present?
I've never understood why it has to keep happening.

I am tired of living in waking memory;
I want this tortuous cycle to end.

I have them; people
who can't live alone
i crawl through
mud of ironic smiles
teeth yellowed by
nicotine death but
you never saw me
the way I wanted you
to, anyway, let's re
begin

I'm running
spilling blood
snail trails
slimy leftovers
my footprints
aching soles
reaching out to
mend
other aching souls
each pill a haze
each hit a day's gaze
away from this
I need to be
alone without being solitary
drown me in - no
I can do it myself.
hit me, i want this
will you promise
to keep my collar tight?

.. I'm afraid: if I breathe fresh air
what will become of my sweet staleness
sitting in heaven's refuse
i'm among such
**** sinners
my perfect brokenness
hush, i'm spinning
bring more pills, when you return.
I'm sober ( I hate this)

We've hit the mark
To your tall grave

No plaque
No flowered haze

No ribbon tied on with haste
No mourners getting in late

I watched the words tumble from your mouth,
Without a doubt they fell,
I watched them form a misty cloud,
Without a doubt you couldn’t tell.

I watched you stumble over yourself,
Recorrect your story,
Edit the missing parts,
Fill in all the dark and gory.

I watched you, oblivious and blind,
In a haze of dark smoke,
I watched you fluidly, lie after lie,
I hope you ******* choke.

I hope you ******* choke.

And if my hate 'aint clear enough
Heres another line or two
You really thought I meant it
When I said I love you too?

Wendell! Wendell. Fetch a blanket for me please
No Wendell, the good one, that we got from the church
We've got visitors coming and I want to look my best
So you sit down quickly, don't lean and don't lurch.

Wendell and Agatha were a husband and wife
She was a little blunt now he sharp like a knife
They'd married and settled on the farm with its strife
To Wendell it seemed like the whole of his life.

They'd married in an old church afore records were kept
At least, Wendell thought that when he was being inept
But out in the fields were the flowers where he wept
And he'd dream of their beauty even as he slept.

He took Aggie out there on warm Summer days
Where they stayed and relaxed till the sunset brought haze
Then he'd drive her back home sometimes catching her gaze
And in it saw beauty just like in the old days.

Illness took so much of his Aggie away
There lives changed dramatically in every way
Her lovely dark hair had turned instantly grey
And now there was harshness in things that she'd say.

But Wendell loved Aggie with all of his might
He just took her bad moods as part of her plight
And not the great woman who he'd loved at first sight
Who'd always stood by him when they'd needed to fight.

So Wendell took his Agatha to the flowers each day
Where they sat for awhile admiring the display
And if a sad tear tried to run down his face
He'd not let her see it, he'd wipe it away.

©Joe Wilson - Wendell in love...2014

Two run
With blades

Through green
Dark haze

Blue moons
Lights blaze

Red stains
One stays

A hollowed tree
Like the air in a haze of silence
Like a sunflower seed in the palm of your hand
Like a child anticipating Christmas morning

It starts faster than you’re prepared for
At first you’re falling
Terrified, uncontrolled, holding your breath
Eyes closed
Wind whistling past you
You’re shaking
Now you’re screaming
Thrilled
Heart racing
Teeth bared
You’re smiling now
As you catch yourself
Adhering to a branch
Swinging from side to side
Weaving through everything in your way
Intertwining with yourself
Braiding your own silk
Don’t stop for a moment
If anyone saw you they’d tell you to slow down
But you don’t know how
You’ve given up control of your body
You’re the creator
And the follower
Constructing your own masterpiece
Nothing
Else
Exists
Time is a fictional concept
The world is a cloud of fog
And you have never seen more clearly
The patterns dancing before you
Growing in magnitude and detail
And it’s exquisite
You hear the murmurs as people walk past
Admiring your quilted work of art
It’s all that’s ever mattered
It’s all that ever will matter
Past, present, future, as one

Now for the first moment
You take a breath
Proud
Relaxed
Content
Lucky to have been given this talent
Satisfied with your efforts
Blessed to be a part of something so great
So breath-taking
Twists of sweet silk wrap around you
Intertwined with your self-made comfort
Wrapped in your blanket of security
Tangled in your thoughts of happiness
Gum on the soles of your feet
Captivated by your own distractions
Bound by your expectations
Smothered by the necessity of love
Glue on the tips of your fingers
Trapped by the need for control
Suffocated by your pride
Choking on the admiration
Rubber bands constricting your neck
Bound by the fear of change
Knotted by the unwanted consistency
Imprisoned by your own design

Your legs strapped, unable to move
Your hands cemented to the transparent rope
Tightening around your wrists
Your hair becomes the sheer silk
Your clothes are now tangled twine
Encompassing the entirety of your body
Adhering to your ankles
Strangling your neck
Drowning your thoughts
Suffocating your free will
Vision blurs
World dulls
Sounds muffle
Struggling only weakens you
So you become stone
Paralyzed
Unable to move
Unable to breathe
Unable to find the motivation
The purpose
The drive
You once had
You’ve lost possession of your worth
Surrounded by beauty
Your stomach remains an empty glass jar

Suddenly
You’re swept
You’re spinning
Unwinding
Out of control
Trying to grasp onto a thread
Something recognizable
Reaching to hold on
Arms flailing
Hummingbird heart
As everything you’ve ever known disappears
Ripped apart
Torn to shreds
Every
Detail
Destroyed
And you’re left
Alone
Dangling
Gasping for air
Controlled by the wind
A single thread
Cinched to your leg
Dragging along
The crushed dream of what once was
Ache lingers
Birds flutter
Ants scurry
And you’re left stranded
Abandoned by your past
Unable to begin again

Like the air in a muddy cloud of noise
Like a sunflower dehydrated to a crisp
Like a hopeless child, brought to reality

Until one day
It will snap
And you will be nothing again

For Ben Godfrey

I awakened today to the frenetic clamor
         of a desperate wasp at destiny’s gate
                  thrashing between my blinds and window.

         (Surely Kafka’s bug had fared no worse).

Emerging from my soporific haze,
         I released my back door latch
                  to clear a portal back to liberty.

But all hopes for a nobility rush
        faded to black when I found her -
                  comatose on the bedroom floor.
  
Placing her shell on an envelope,
          I ferried her through the open door
                  to rest in state on my back porch rail.

BUT HOLD THE REQUIEM FOR A SPELL!
          She wasn’t quite so done as feared.

As if by cosmic intercession,
         she suddenly twitched her wings,
                  and soared into the morning sky.

My elation mystifies me just a little.
       After all, who cares about a lowly wasp?
Yet for one frantic insect,
        how could anything matter more?

© 2017 by Robert Charles Howard

Green is spring
with floral scents
After
winters white
cold presence
Summer rolls in
with its
heat and haze
Bathing us in
bright long days
of ice cream wrappers
and children's songs
as vacations
pull us along
Fall
leaves
summer behind
its colorful nature
there to remind
us
Winters white
is
back on its way
Any day now
Any day

I am charcoal cooking out for the summer
loading boxes into a freight truck
like coals into the furnace
powering America's materialist engine
the boxes rising like greed
until I've filled that truck's needs
exiting the trailer smoldering
like a coal in the furnace
powering corporate production
steam is all that rises as I melt into the ground
trucks leave like emissions into the air
obstructing my vision as I gaze down the street
through the haze of summer streaks
another truck approaches for repeat
a microwave set to reheat.

I still remember all the days
we spent together,
soaked in sunshine haze.
Amongst carefully hidden secrets,
we made promises of rings.
But, promises, like hearts,
are easily broken things.

No matter how far
or long we're apart,
I'll always bear the stain
of you on my heart.

it's been two years and i remember that night through
a drunken haze, but no one ever taught me that no matter who you are
(almost) every drunk person is friendly and that should not be confused
with friendship or even acquaintances

you always said, "drunk men tell no lies,"
but then you would slur, "i swear i'm sober"
i should have known not to believe you
i should know that drunk people are anything but truthful
you just say whatever comes to mind
and two years ago that happened to be, "i want to be burned"
which left me with a scar on the back of my hand
that reminds me of a boy i can't ******* stand

two years ago that happened to be, "i'd like a pack of belmonts, please."
and "yes," when the cashier asked if i wanted king size
i wasn't dumb enough to think i wouldn't get addicted
i never really expected black tar
coming out of my throat
or nicotine making most of the decisions for me
headaches stomach aches anger sadness and suicidal
are all synonyms for withdrawal
yellow stained fingers and an empty wallet
a drug worse than you

two years ago, i asked you to be mine and you said yes
two years ago i thought i had found true happiness and i was naive enough
to think i would be the one person whose first love would last forever
even though you lived miles away
two years later i'm still not sure who broke up with who first
i think you had already broken up with me in your mind
a place i used to go for comfort
two years later you are a complete stranger

two years later i am a complete stranger

two years later

-                             -                               -                          -         -                 -


two years ago
                  
         i went to a party and made some of the biggest

                                                        ­                            dumbest
                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                drunken
                         ­                                                                 ­                      
                                                                ­                                         decisions
                                          
            ­                        of my life
                           but then i have to ask
                              would you go back in time and change it all?
                                                            ­ would i?

1
In constant consonance
Love, in it's minimalistic sonata
Plays a slow stitched waltz
Into the cough syrup
Haze of memories

2
When love was just a
Second-hand suggestion
A rebellious rose
Reaching recklessly
For a remarkable reaction
Finds a score left unfinished
From years past

3
In pointe shoes
Two bodies dance a
Painful coloratura
Yet in the midst of
This pa de deux
Love remembers contentment

This year feels reminiscent of the last,
Another set of commercialized holidays,
A life destroyed by the happenings of my past,
I can't fathom a day clear from my haze.

I still can't write, I still can't draw,
and everyday I awake with a new flaw.
Take me to court and steal my life,
Slit my filthy throat with my knife.
I truly wish to not be here,
everyday I grow in fear.

Is my time now here?

A bowstring stretched, in claret dipped,
Bestowing smile upon а white day,
That's when my heart was slightly chipped
And winter got away

A dark dress wraps around my body
I thumb through periwinkle leaves
The words wore nothing gaudy
But for a trace, that sunshine gives

The iris greenery of my eyes
Is praying to the queen, who stars chalk
In pupils the kingly light abides
Until the rays replace a warning moonbroch

And with this granted magic for a night
That's piercing a human vision
Like ruby roses pierce the soil under the might
Of а happening high above celestial collision

I'll plant to blossom Milky Ways
And let the stained glas branch out to startle
Most souls grow dim in a dairy haze
Kaleidoscope like yours ****** with a sparkle

A hand on marble fences,
Embracing all my senses

I LIVE with him,
      On every dying day;
Until it's sundown,
      Calls my own decay.

Only foreboding is the Love of mine,
      A divine right that he;
Painted the seas invisible,
      No marriage granted me.

I live with him,
       I stand alive today;
Behold the melancholy,
       Of our dying decay.

Teach me the Time -
       That counts our days;
For our Love is darkness,
       In a sagacious haze.

Pure exhaustion
Coupled with mental anguish
Living in a haze day to day
Comprehension of routine
Has walked right out the door
Sparks of consciousness
Becoming far and few lately
Morning, night, day bleed into one
A pulsating maggot of time & space
Sense of self becomes abstract
An arbitrary composition of pieces
Rotting flesh randomly arranged
To create a mindless marionette
Performing through a dull screenplay
On this decaying stage of life
Waiting for a curtain call
A grandiose standing ovation
From fellow lobotomized puppets
Who will weep at this tragedy
And laugh at the irony
Simply because it's all part of the act
The paradox of universe
Acted out daily on a grand scale
Billions of actors with no director
Each individual at center stage
Giving the performance of a lifetime
A sad endeavor of recognition
Dramatics as schematic
Systematic
Death.

***** Joe's got a ways to go
before he can climb up
from beneath the bridge

He's not been the same
since after the rain
of rockets on Robert's Ridge

He stopped spending his days
living life in a haze
of a VA induced nirvana

He forgets he's a Vet
and the checks that he gets
goes to his sweet Suzana

He keeps his head clean
with a fifth of Jim Beam
and clears out the bile in his liver

Most days he can be found
with his head on the ground
and his thoughts out on the river.

Passing through the night only to greet
the morning in a purple haze.
The brain is floating inside my head as
the fog resides leaving me in a daze.

The weight of an anvil holds me down
because my strength has gone away.
Adventures that's going on outside have
no baring's, so I stay in bed all day.

The pins beneath my skin get worst as
they dig deeper with every sting.
I want to fly away sometimes but fate
leaves me without my wings.

Hidden from the world, I cover myself
with depression and grief.
Sad, distraught and more worrying takes
the place of unfound relief.

Memory loss comes frequent but it won't
let me forget about the pain.
Driving me crazier and crazier when the
weather decides to change to rain.

Trapped inside a forest without roads
or clear paths to lead me out.
Forced to live in a world without a cure
that doctors can't seem to figure out.

She stares at the ocean the way she sees her life
As all was lost
Like there’s just too much to grasp
As if she didn’t have a say
As if she has no control
She loves the salty air caressing her body
And the sand hugging her feet
Not understanding that nobody is loving her
Because she‘s not loving us
She reaches for the edge time and time again
While we reach for her and pull her back
She walks down the coast in a haze
While we search in the fog for her
She is lost at sea
Singing to herself about a drunken sailor
Do I forgive her...
For giving up
For letting go
No, no I don’t.

Whiteness blocks your vision
From the sky to the ground
Snowflakes keep on falling
You can't hear a sound
Frost settles on the glass
And when you rub it away,
It crawls right back from the edges
Icy daggers fall in place
Steam blows from your mouth
Icicles snap and crunch
From their places on the house
Far away is a grey haze
Which is really only trees
Bare branches stretching up
While the twigs snap and freeze
The peaceful calm makes you
Want to stay here all night long
But the cold tells you otherwise
And pushes you along

You know I live care free except for when I ***
Gotta be free of all the ***** or impurity
Left in me. Bladder's seen better days
Way back before the ketamine phase

You know that I have had a change of ways
Not burdened by debt of sin caged in haze
The Lord in His wealth could afford to pays
Keeps me in good health as I give Him praise

You know that He owns me spirit, mind, and body
He's a carpenter, repaired the doorway of my psyche
Gave me holy gifts of healing to replace the reiki
His Spirit lives inside see, so Satan get behind me

Lost

   Lost in the world of the shadow
Lost in a place without a rainbow
Lost where darkness is as dark as it seems
Lost in a world without dreams

Lost even in a large crowd
Lost and just wanting to cry out loud
Lost in your own prison with no escape
Lost in an unfamiliar landscape

Lost with a feeling of no way out
Lost with an overwhelming sense of doubt
Lost in a never ending Labyrinth maze
Lost in a psychedelic purple haze

Lost In hopelessness and a different reality
Lost and hearing the wale of the banshee
Lost in a depression so very deep
Lost in no inspiration and no sleep

Lost with nothing left to give
Lost hold on to a reason to live
Lost, if so find yourself at all cost
Lost, you never wanna be lost

Written By:Charles Kean
Copyright © 02/20/2020
All rights reserved

Today I come to the ends of my own unwinding. There is a lens piece around the corner on the docks. there are stair who don't relate to you. There is a truck with a window and a sign light up with a soft yellow spot light. As if to jump-launch straight out of the vehicle passing straight into space. In a world where you have perspective and see fit only to see today. There was a man I knew existed before who named out a name that I couldn't and nor would I ever have. There is a mad concrete haze stuck in our teeth! The downstairs gremlins drive semi trucks down the streets, they know the road are too narrow and the still go. Fat chance for that man who is with only himself on a bench, in the rain, by the truck, on the sand in some beech ignoring any demand of the world. So much has to be lost before defeat comes as a cold drink under the stars.