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"fabrication" poems
All around me, I see endless fear. Fear of heights, sure, fear of scuttling things Fear of darkness, fear of bites Fear of brightness, fear of fights. This is the fear we can display Because it’s little, simple, understandable. But the fear I really fear That we all let consume us Is deeper, Darker, Cold. It’s the fear of friendship, fear of love, Fear of what’s ahead of us But even more of what’s behind us Fear to see what’s really beyond The faces we all fake. Fear of the unknowable Fear of what we know Fear of speaking out or up or for Fear of conforming to something more Fear to test the limits Fear to taste the truth Fear of what’s uncomfortable Rather than the deception of comfort Fear of what to do Fear of striving for perfection When perfection’s so unattainable. Fear of to leave what has been known Fear of what has been done Fear to see past fabrication, Fear to show the truth. I’m talking fear of emotion Or fear of not feeling enough Fear of silence, but worse, The fear of candid words. Fear to look someone in the eye And say, “I know you, And I care for you.” Fear to let someone see the darkness that comes with your light Fear of rebelling though it’s time someone did Fear of doing what you want and know Because of what someone told you you should Fear of being who you are Because every day everyone is telling you What to do and who to be And what is acceptable And what is not. I’m talking fear of having an opinion Because someone will shoot it down Fear of defense or service or selflessness Because someone won’t approve. Fear to accept because of fear of acceptance Fear to truly love someone Because it’s risky, And you never know What someone else really feels. I cry for the fear of Every person who can’t be Who they are and who can’t Let people see them in their entirety Because after all everyone urges And persuades and demands and values And idolizes and expects, You don’t even know yourself, Because you've been too busy With trying to be so many different “Someone Else"s. I ache for this relentless fear. I mourn the stagnancy of the condition Of the human soul who is so afraid To let go of fear And BE somebody, To do something or say something, or simply believe, That the only thing they truly trust Is the familiarity Of fear itself. That’s why fear is frightening That’s why we should be afraid of fear Because it stops us, cages us, Bars us behind the façade we display And muffles the words of our heart. I see these things and wonder Why can’t they change? Why can’t this need to fear be erased From the human condition? And I realize it’s because everyone Is afraid. And I’m so afraid too.
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Mar 18, 2015
Mar 18, 2015 at 12:06 AM UTC
Fear
All around me, I see endless fear. Fear of heights, sure, fear of scuttling things Fear of darkness, fear of bites Fear of brightness, fear of fights. This is the fear we can display Because it’s little, simple, understandable. But the fear I really fear That we all let consume us Is deeper, Darker, Cold. It’s the fear of friendship, fear of love, Fear of what’s ahead of us But even more of what’s behind us Fear to see what’s really beyond The faces we all fake. Fear of the unknowable Fear of what we know Fear of speaking out or up or for Fear of conforming to something more Fear to test the limits Fear to taste the truth Fear of what’s uncomfortable Rather than the deception of comfort Fear of what to do Fear of striving for perfection When perfection’s so unattainable. Fear of to leave what has been known Fear of what has been done Fear to see past fabrication, Fear to show the truth. I’m talking fear of emotion Or fear of not feeling enough Fear of silence, but worse, The fear of candid words. Fear to look someone in the eye And say, “I know you, And I care for you.” Fear to let someone see the darkness that comes with your light Fear of rebelling though it’s time someone did Fear of doing what you want and know Because of what someone told you you should Fear of being who you are Because every day everyone is telling you What to do and who to be And what is acceptable And what is not. I’m talking fear of having an opinion Because someone will shoot it down Fear of defense or service or selflessness Because someone won’t approve. Fear to accept because of fear of acceptance Fear to truly love someone Because it’s risky, And you never know What someone else really feels. I cry for the fear of Every person who can’t be Who they are and who can’t Let people see them in their entirety Because after all everyone urges And persuades and demands and values And idolizes and expects, You don’t even know yourself, Because you've been too busy With trying to be so many different “Someone Else"s. I ache for this relentless fear. I mourn the stagnancy of the condition Of the human soul who is so afraid To let go of fear And BE somebody, To do something or say something, or simply believe, That the only thing they truly trust Is the familiarity Of fear itself. That’s why fear is frightening That’s why we should be afraid of fear Because it stops us, cages us, Bars us behind the façade we display And muffles the words of our heart. I see these things and wonder Why can’t they change? Why can’t this need to fear be erased From the human condition? And I realize it’s because everyone Is afraid. And I’m so afraid too.
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PART II: A GLASS CEILING DRIPPING WITH BLOOD Mohanad Younis, of Gaza City; Where the sand is stained with blood As the world feigns pity. Broken families, unspoken tragedies – The order of everyday life. He was born amidst chaos and strife, To a divorcing husband and wife. If life were lived in peace, This dissolution would’ve been a release. Not much more, not much less – A family’s lore, a decision to digress. In war-ravaged land, however, One needs every helping hand, Especially a soul that was so clever. Such a curious, voracious mind needed to understand; A furious, rapacious search, Unexplained conundrums to unravel and unwind. Why do we exist? Why do we fight and resist? Is it worth living with all these scars on my wrists? Does anybody outside Palestine care? Will they keep on watching? Or will they be unable to bear? Of this and much more Mohanad must’ve thought, As he sat at the Marna House Hotel, Smoking cigarettes, freshly bought. A student at al-Azhar, a mild-mannered pharmacist, A prudent man who would have gotten far. An admirer of Bassel al-Araj, another victim of oppression – An inspirer, a brother who alleviated his depression. Hunted down and killed by the IDF, Another pacifist murdered for being an activist. One figure of many who died; One of those who did not want to hide. Mohanad wasn’t a resistance fighter – He felt that such persistence did not make their burdens lighter. Instead, he wished to make his mind brighter, And perhaps have family of his own. He was in love, and wanted to get married, But life was rough, and warranted a future far more harried. The final twist of horror? Having the intellect to apply for University, And deserving the respect needed to obtain a reply, Yet not being allowed to leave the city. That is the news Mohanad had received, Hopes and dreams suddenly deceived. Denied a right to education Because he was born on the wrong end of a cruel fabrication. The glass ceiling, dripping with blood, Swallowed his hopes whole like a flood.
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Sep 10, 2018
Sep 10, 2018 at 10:04 AM UTC
Hopelessness kills: A tribute to Mohanad Younis [PART II]
PART II: A GLASS CEILING DRIPPING WITH BLOOD Mohanad Younis, of Gaza City; Where the sand is stained with blood As the world feigns pity. Broken families, unspoken tragedies – The order of everyday life. He was born amidst chaos and strife, To a divorcing husband and wife. If life were lived in peace, This dissolution would’ve been a release. Not much more, not much less – A family’s lore, a decision to digress. In war-ravaged land, however, One needs every helping hand, Especially a soul that was so clever. Such a curious, voracious mind needed to understand; A furious, rapacious search, Unexplained conundrums to unravel and unwind. Why do we exist? Why do we fight and resist? Is it worth living with all these scars on my wrists? Does anybody outside Palestine care? Will they keep on watching? Or will they be unable to bear? Of this and much more Mohanad must’ve thought, As he sat at the Marna House Hotel, Smoking cigarettes, freshly bought. A student at al-Azhar, a mild-mannered pharmacist, A prudent man who would have gotten far. An admirer of Bassel al-Araj, another victim of oppression – An inspirer, a brother who alleviated his depression. Hunted down and killed by the IDF, Another pacifist murdered for being an activist. One figure of many who died; One of those who did not want to hide. Mohanad wasn’t a resistance fighter – He felt that such persistence did not make their burdens lighter. Instead, he wished to make his mind brighter, And perhaps have family of his own. He was in love, and wanted to get married, But life was rough, and warranted a future far more harried. The final twist of horror? Having the intellect to apply for University, And deserving the respect needed to obtain a reply, Yet not being allowed to leave the city. That is the news Mohanad had received, Hopes and dreams suddenly deceived. Denied a right to education Because he was born on the wrong end of a cruel fabrication. The glass ceiling, dripping with blood, Swallowed his hopes whole like a flood.
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I thought that smile was for me I fought for every second of it My determination to win To have you in my arms again I shot every bad mood away My last chance to have you again The pain of fabrication My smile can't hold The lies in my blind side My naive beliefs How could you? I thought we had something real Something that would last forever Our dreams planned together Was that all your fantasy?  Just to play around with me? I thought this was love You were all that I had I threw everything away for you Now I have nothing While I watch you live your life like nothing ever even happened.
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May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:01 PM UTC
Prom
Today anybody is the right body, taut and lean, exploiting youth. Flesh is flesh on flesh, smooth and seamless. Making love is not love; purely a fabrication that lures in any susceptible soul with salty, passionate promises. Bodies fall victim to bodies, deluded by ecstasy over and over and over again. Though they may release a double negative at some point in time, lips never lie.
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Dec 5, 2011
Dec 5, 2011 at 1:56 AM UTC
lips
Do you think of I as I dream of thee? Through my mind passing so vividly Like tidal and waves, washing, drifting on shore A tide pulling me in Oh drown me evermore. I wade in such euphoria, yet I crave such a love A love only two in a sleepless night can dream of. Absent of touch Words had me lifted A climatic conversation My world had shifted Deep inside the irises Travelling distances deemed too great Watching as the hands of time began to weave a brighter fate Dismiss these heavy worries Let rushing thoughts rest calm at bay I need not search for such peace For you have brought it to me today Between the lines of tongue Rolled and whispered your adoration But hear not what I feel Is such love a fabrication?
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Jun 27, 2013
Jun 27, 2013 at 12:55 AM UTC
Admiration
falling in love with her is like taking the square block and trying to put it in the circle slot i got the premise set in stone but the execution was poor like twisting and turning a rubiks cube to find that four colors of each side are missing but im trying to solve it in spite of forgetting what the colors were so i ****** up really bad and i guess romance is dead and there’s no extra lives and now im playing hide and seek with my smile looking in places that she smiled where sunsets lie that even van gogh couldnt paint but im not drinking yellow paint to make way for some fabrication of euphoria because my euphoria sleeps with her they’re really quite the bedfellows but everything inside me is just the way she left it
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Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 8:12 PM UTC
"artistry" or "toys"
i have so many thorns in my body, that i forgot all the places i've been bleeding. you bleed me out, you can. and that's okay. i'm aching. i ached to taste you and i still ache, but the question is, would you even wait long enough to let me have the chance? to be waiting and being disappointed by a bitter fruit or waiting and never finding out the sting. i'm not sure what is worse. is it possible to drown before you take a dive into the deep end of the pool? or is the self pity the pool itself? does weakness constitute as a fabrication for other people's flaws or is it simply a plan that failed to start? i know my blind sides, but i've had so many bittersweet "almosts" and close enough "maybes" that heartbreak has become my favorite flavor.
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Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 8:42 PM UTC
i treat rejection like medicine
Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye The petals begin to die Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye The heavens start to cry Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Let out a collective sigh The drudgery of life The need to avoid strife Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye It's all in your mind A fabrication Imagination Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye In and out Up and down They go as they come They bring gladness as they leave sadness Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye Deathly still As still as death Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye I've been told to move on As young and beautiful As a newborn fawn As broken and doubtful As a mind so torn Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye You have left us tonight You're nowhere in sight Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye The moss spreads The dust collects Decrepit but not dead Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye I've been told I'm wasting my life I've been told to let go I know it's all true It's something I must do Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye You left and now, I'd like to leave too Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye No. A simple word A simple meaning All over my mind Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye I won't let you go I refuse to do so You embody life A life I wish was mine Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye You said goodbye, not on purpose, of course But they said goodbye on purpose. Who do I believe? The living or the dead? Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. It's the only word in my mind.
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Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 9:57 AM UTC
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Of immaterial vision birthed in mind. Of spirit annihilating the selves, of calling it plan. The one- a semblance scattered on deck space refracts on reflections of the reactions of tokens of the carnivalesque, of the hunger artists, of phenomenon- which may or may not exist depending on reflective surface of the true self, of the motion of tides, mocks motion in body, of obsession. The tonality of the "be" and the "is" and the "will be" is deafened by the "I am," by the Ohm. Of shuddering and implanting embraces, of blessing on every ember of cleanliness that is true self, of the oneself that exists above selective memory, not draft of time arrow but the material existence of dream, not disembodied but embodied. Of breeding, of circumstance and forking fourth dimension prison terms, of crowd control, of she wolves and their feral children, of forceps interpolating material reality of conception, of Dreamtime, of pain, of pleasure, where they are relations- of skin perversely hanging, dually, gratifying and sullying- Fraying beautiful disasters that react to invisible ripples I, the oneself, implore you to awaken in your utility and then outside of it. Take those boot straps and bend the bars of confinement with them. Chisel and sculpt light into a fabrication of quantum of action. Celebrate the ordinary and expose it. Of stargazed caustics, of the early universe. I stand awake as not the expression of design and no longer connected to Earth by my roots but awake inside cocoon, entrapped behind slits, of alien cage otherness. The Akh beseeches ownership of the Ba I want play dice with god and end in draw. I am Sekhmet-Wadjet who dwells in the west of heaven, I am Sahyt among the souls of Of.
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Oct 4, 2012
Oct 4, 2012 at 1:29 AM UTC
Of
Of immaterial vision birthed in mind. Of spirit annihilating the selves, of calling it plan. The one- a semblance scattered on deck space refracts on reflections of the reactions of tokens of the carnivalesque, of the hunger artists, of phenomenon- which may or may not exist depending on reflective surface of the true self, of the motion of tides, mocks motion in body, of obsession. The tonality of the "be" and the "is" and the "will be" is deafened by the "I am," by the Ohm. Of shuddering and implanting embraces, of blessing on every ember of cleanliness that is true self, of the oneself that exists above selective memory, not draft of time arrow but the material existence of dream, not disembodied but embodied. Of breeding, of circumstance and forking fourth dimension prison terms, of crowd control, of she wolves and their feral children, of forceps interpolating material reality of conception, of Dreamtime, of pain, of pleasure, where they are relations- of skin perversely hanging, dually, gratifying and sullying- Fraying beautiful disasters that react to invisible ripples I, the oneself, implore you to awaken in your utility and then outside of it. Take those boot straps and bend the bars of confinement with them. Chisel and sculpt light into a fabrication of quantum of action. Celebrate the ordinary and expose it. Of stargazed caustics, of the early universe. I stand awake as not the expression of design and no longer connected to Earth by my roots but awake inside cocoon, entrapped behind slits, of alien cage otherness. The Akh beseeches ownership of the Ba I want play dice with god and end in draw. I am Sekhmet-Wadjet who dwells in the west of heaven, I am Sahyt among the souls of Of.
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There was death and gore, During the second world war. Many people died in extreme violence, Killed before they could call out to loved ones. Young men were trained to **** Often against their morals and will. So when I see your 1940s weekend - Your 'war was fun and cosy' pretence, Your clichéd polyester and fibre glass mockery, Aiming to re-enact a mostly imagined happy-go-lucky camaraderie - Forgive me for not joining in, As I happen to feel it a cardinal sin, To idealise and romanticise a decade, Made up of austerity, rationing and air raids. I've read a little social history, The 1940s were not idyllic or crime-free, Just as now, there were heroes and villains, Among the soldiers and civilians. Heroism abounded but so did black marketeering, There were brave sacrifices but also racketeering. City-wide black-outs were a gift, To those who would rob and grift. Your jolly nostalgic tribute is an annual celebration, Celebrating your own fabrication, Of a time when the machinations of war and a crazed ideology, Saw the near extinction of an entire ethnic minority. I do not wish to be a party pooper, But don't just step into the fake shoes of a fictional trooper, Please occasionally remove your rose-tinted glasses, To remember that beyond your nostalgic narrative of the routines of the masses, People lived with the daily fear, Of the likely deaths of people they held dear.
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Oct 9, 2018
Oct 9, 2018 at 6:49 PM UTC
A Romantic Narrative Of War
one by one they came no light no candle to smudge the pure darkness children of the shade revelers of midnight there to view the event in the womb of blackness moons were cocooned awaiting the push of labor ~ stars ~ spent with their urgency await the impetus that will send them spiraling out into blue and gold galaxies to scintillation with nebulae and so the event the faces of the creatures of the crepuscule evaporate the moons are birthed into fire the stars are scattered like a billion billiard ***** the fabrication that was matter energy space and time is no more ^ <      > \/
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Dec 21, 2015
Dec 21, 2015 at 11:26 PM UTC
event horizon
Anxiously awaiting atomic assimilation Basing me on belligerent and boorish bastardization Capsizing cargo with careful consideration as to Deciding which day is decay's destination Everyone embrace the elevated expiration Forget my face and follow fabrication Go to the gallows with grace and gravitation He will hold you and hinder alienation I, however, hold insignificance in interest Justifiable jackhammers jacking fighter jets Killing Californians who are kissing canvases Lying without laughing and lighting cigarettes My master makes me move my mundane mind Never knowing next to nothing with nothing else inside Overly offering operating override Practicing patiently pulling peoples' pride Quickly questioning quizzical quietness Rationalizing raging reinventions ridiculous Stapling this summer to my (still) sick subconscious Traveling tunnelers trading tides for tiredness Under the umbrella my undertow untangles Violently vibrating like varying violin angles Waiting with wandering whispers under the table Xylophonist x-rays, excruciating fables You yellow youngling, you who screams in my dreams Zebras zoom by every single night, it seems Let's chant my enchantments, the alliteration song! And untie your tongue So you don't take it wrong.
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Feb 17, 2011
Feb 17, 2011 at 6:59 PM UTC
The Alliteration Song!
I feel so lost, i feel so alone But isn't that what i wished for? Isn't that what I deserve? To know the greeting sorrow of being in love The demons inside me now raging out of control I want to fly away, fly away, like a free, fearless dove The ongoing war inside me is one I can't ignore, one i cant shove I am broken yet I'm still fixed This fabrication of happiness we wear like a concealed glove To hide away the broken pieces of us like dark secrets kept hushed Yet mere words can crumble us, turn us into dust words can haunt you, taunt you, until you burst This world teaches you to expect the worst Maybe I should have never learned to trust Maybe I should have learned to put myself first To be altruistic in a self-serving world is the same as being forever cursed But this world is not what i fear Its the thoughts inside me i refuse to hear An undefeated battle, I can't make disappear I want to run away from myself, everything's unclear All this pain i try to push away Who knew breathing could make one suffocate? For a man's biggest enemy is himself...one he can't subjugate
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Nov 8, 2015
Nov 8, 2015 at 1:39 PM UTC
The dark secrets
Mirrorball - “the fabrication of our performance” a life long struggle to accept who I am, of course, lose, and lose again, and the fabrication of our performance now inherent in every excuse and mirrorball revolving asking, no, laughing, at our vanity, as we endeavor, enabled by the paucity of ego, the neediness of weakness’s to catch, keep, hold each single flickering light spot in our open, slick palms forever we fabricate our performance of daily living, modifying our measurements to match output, only a human cannot wake only to fall within each daily tabulation without thinking, once: *I am a hero, worthy of acknowledgement, just look at my hands! see how many spots of light I can claim as mine! the mirrorball turns and turns paying no mind to the worshipers below, until some sorrowful fool confesses, fools fail, fools fail, turning the dervish off, the white flag of ego darkened, once more...* we are all false poets, false prophets, occasionally confessing 7:34 AM Sat Jul 18 The Year of the Virus, Corona
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Jul 18, 2020
Jul 18, 2020 at 8:03 AM UTC
Mirrorball - “the fabrication of our performance”
You are the fragrance of dark coffee. You're slow jazz and flamenco guitar -- depending on the weather. You're the sweet smell that happens after it rains; and the soft pitter-patter of the rain that sings me to sleep -- You're that too. And the caffeine and the lost jazz musician and the cold rain hitting his face as he walks home to the song of a memory and the smell of rain on brick -- almost sounds romantic, doesn't it? You make my world romantic. And not in the lovey-dovey sense of the word, not just that. Romance as in the knight who seeks great treasure, Mark Twain in his steamboat down the Mississippi, The old sailor who sails the seas just for the constant surprise of just how beautiful the world is -- Romance as in adventure. And you make me feel like the best kind of music, And you make my  heart beat faster than caffeine, And you make me feel as beautiful as when the moonlight shimmer against the dark clouds and it looks more exquisite than anything Van Gogh did. And you -- You're more handsome than a starry night, Better than the smell of good coffee, more than any prior fabrication I'd ever had of "perfect--" And I love you. More than the smell of rain on brick.
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Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 3:10 PM UTC
To Him on Valentine's Day
To be blessed , favored and protected by the environment, selected and isolated from your social groupings, To be blessed is to synthesize what truly has meaning in life and self-meditate with the sake of life’s pace. Before falling asleep, resting, force the mental to remain awake, processing and breaking apart the information given today, despite the fact that time wasn’t kind, brief or even prolonged; make it the moral commitment to self-reflect. Make a correction if your answer is wrong; the fabrication of a scripture, Make sure, for certain, that all the totaled scores calculate to a certain percentage, Affirmed, scolded or ruled by another to convey your defined truth as inaccurate, almost there or rarely ample. Time is allotted, effortless and to be taught a lesson is a blessing, Space is limited, given and to be bestowed the gift of building is the set up version of a lesson, a shell of a blessing.
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Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 1:39 AM UTC
Blessing versus Lesson
I suppose if the arts had any real power Michaelangelo's David could have healed my brother Rimbaud could have saved Hiroshima Monet could have painted the world in shades of peace Desiderata could have protected me But this is the real world And where poetry once grew comes the art of fabrication Dali's obras are no longer enough to make me forget Moonlight Sonata never warned me of this hurt The waltz never healed a broken family I suppose if the arts had any real power Beethoven wouldn't have gone deaf Van Gogh would have been happy Hemingway would have loved better And Ginsberg wouldn't have been afraid to love Yet here they all are When the only light I see is on hundred year old canvas When the only solace I have is a dead man's words When the only thing that keeps my heart thundering Is the promise of a Boticelli ending in Picasso figures All colors, beauty, light and metaphors The promise of a Renaissance gleaming in the ashes of prose This is the real world I suppose if the arts had any real power It would heal more than just my heart It would build me a new Garden of Eden And I'd pave a way to nirvana So the world could join hands And start anew But it's saved me for now That is enough.
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Sep 5, 2016
Sep 5, 2016 at 6:26 AM UTC
If Art Was A Messiah
Be aware, the nature of fate is well predicted With eyes wide watch the wing of the butterfly turn tides into hurricanes twisting Developed and balanced spiritual evolution enhanced electromagnetism push and pull control the chance Behold the spectrum prismatic fabrication Zoom into the microcosm inner seam magnification See where it leads Know where it's led Obtain the needle Then weave your own thread
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Sep 8, 2012
Sep 8, 2012 at 3:15 PM UTC
Patterns
an anomaly few roots are many roots of the same tree from outside I am within the bark that encloses me here ye here ye! polygonal me mocking you an apology all a'Riddle first due to the very nature my skin my leaf contradictory, the roots they twist on me the vines of me the veins of me my pain you cannot see my pain you cannot see double vision two no three four or infinity to a varying degree my body tis' of thee, tangled up insanity of thee I sing ***** from my fathers side egg from my mothers side brain and heart formaldehyde let my moods swing polygonal me an anomaly normally unnatural and artificially indeed through means of fabrication and good malicious deed confiscatory generous and metaphorically my breed sarcastically scholastic institutionalized branches from the end to my seed divinely soulless constrictedly free interestingly boring grammatical greed desperately selfish slowly with speed movingly static hungry to feed constantly moving polygonal anomaly how many sides to a coin always flipping to a coin always spinning polygonal me transparency just like a tree there are many sides to a story through shadows cannot see the interlocking counterparts elbows, knees, branches on trees. who says they can't get along? I say they have to disagree. why can't they just let it be? why don't you be you?... and me be me me me me. Just like a tree whistling and singing chirping with glee waking me up at 6:30 though shadows cannot see an anomaly sometimes they play tricks on me polygonal me
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Jun 15, 2012
Jun 15, 2012 at 3:10 AM UTC
polygonal me
an anomaly few roots are many roots of the same tree from outside I am within the bark that encloses me here ye here ye! polygonal me mocking you an apology all a'Riddle first due to the very nature my skin my leaf contradictory, the roots they twist on me the vines of me the veins of me my pain you cannot see my pain you cannot see double vision two no three four or infinity to a varying degree my body tis' of thee, tangled up insanity of thee I sing ***** from my fathers side egg from my mothers side brain and heart formaldehyde let my moods swing polygonal me an anomaly normally unnatural and artificially indeed through means of fabrication and good malicious deed confiscatory generous and metaphorically my breed sarcastically scholastic institutionalized branches from the end to my seed divinely soulless constrictedly free interestingly boring grammatical greed desperately selfish slowly with speed movingly static hungry to feed constantly moving polygonal anomaly how many sides to a coin always flipping to a coin always spinning polygonal me transparency just like a tree there are many sides to a story through shadows cannot see the interlocking counterparts elbows, knees, branches on trees. who says they can't get along? I say they have to disagree. why can't they just let it be? why don't you be you?... and me be me me me me. Just like a tree whistling and singing chirping with glee waking me up at 6:30 though shadows cannot see an anomaly sometimes they play tricks on me polygonal me
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My bed is empty. I count the seconds down until you appear: 1...2...3 times you've asked me to leave you alone. Leave you alone? How can I let you be so cruel, so uncaring, and so completely and totally near to my voice. I can't. It's not who you are in this world-we call reality sets in and I grab my **** as the black of guilt sets in. Black. Gray. White. What room am I in? There's ten feet of tile by ten feet heaven bound. The claw foot tub grips at the **** stained floor, fighting gravity's nagging whine. It's all too real. All too fictitiously crisp. All too false. The ivory room slips into the field as the brown drains from the vomitorium. Bathhouses, **** me. Lesioned tricks, **** me. Loneliness, **** off-off to Cair Paravel. I'm an ice cube in an ocean. Don’t drown, don't go, just come. Rhythm stops and I study the damage. Laying alone on my bed, skin burning with the genocide of my seed spilt for you, I realize you are gone. With the revival of my senses I realize: You are a dream. A fabrication of lust and desire. But this moment, these feelings are ever changing. This moment is real. This time it's you. Tomorrow night: Tommy Anders, Brent Everett, Mr. Corrigan! Pornstars extraordinaire. That's all I get nowadays.
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Mar 4, 2012
Mar 4, 2012 at 3:02 AM UTC
A Tiled Room
There should be wings of a hundred birds to churn this scorch with breeze to dry sweat shade glare to soothe the ache of a post-noon day There should be varied and a thousand greens with all betweens of innumerable trees till the blue of sky blends their deference And the river heaves its way along ever on eternal mission of earth and... ...Heaven-- sure misses so much some days Cool remote Transcended as it be Replete with rains and relief of clouds The Angelus in the distance.... with its affluent affinity for air Revelers leave their party debris for those making sure not a sign is left.... We sort and fold, collapse and pack Somehow between chairs, tables cans and bottles, assorted trash They come-- crouch on the levee wander and stare aimless amid tall dry weeds Inhabit a bench, a moment-- Wild filtering through our fabrication Wind to dissipate our purpose Trees invading abandoned fields “The poor you have with you always” “I'm not drunk,” she drunkenly proclaims to no one except maybe…. Leaning over her opened beer seated on bench adorably painted with joyful hands Who fondly held or hoped for her? Before.... days of dirt troweled a shadow in the sweat between her ******* Filthy tank that barely covers derelict denial How they find themselves established as we make to leave WE, of our homes and cars and jobs and plans of escape They-- of always
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May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017 at 11:28 PM UTC
"...With You Always"
I was told that he- Yes, but were you told by him? I heard that she- Yes, but did you hear from her? I know that you- Yes, but do you know me? My stomach churns to sour froth when people know because they hear. If you allow distant whispers to define knowledge then your truth is ridden and diseased. Such wounds fester, rotting in the filth of lies. Stop feeding these ****** vines. They are barbed and poison and coiling. Constrictors of death: and they will absolutely consume you squeezing until your pathetic, bitter brains ooze liquid from your shattered skull. If you are not a part of something, leave it be.
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Jul 16, 2014
Jul 16, 2014 at 7:38 PM UTC
Astringing Fabrication
I can spit out words in a matter of seconds I can twist my thoughts into metaphors and anaphora and all this rhetoric they taught me, they said it would make my argument stronger, that it would make me a better writer well here I am, am I? I can do it all I can make pain taste like sugar, granulate it so finely to where it melts on the tongue I can cope my problems into understanding, make feeling alone no longer a possibility I can even create something similar to hope with the way I form these phrases together I can almost do it all, but I cannot write you into my arms I cannot place you in this bed next to me I often wring passion into language, this pouring out becomes exhausting and It doesn't matter how many times I rewrite this poem Poems don't make people fall in love People make people fall in love I wish I could make you fall in love but I am not one of those who can I've learned it doesn't matter how nice these titles are, the stanzas, the formatting, the content is not important Whether or not I bury my soul into the center is irrelevant when you are currently the only thing living inside of it Every time I pick up a pen or a pencil or a page I hear you My head has become a blank thesaurus, everything sounds like your arms holding I search for inspiration and your name is all I can find I want to say the same goes for you with mine but that would be a lie more than anything else I guess that's what writing is more than anything else deceit, fabrication, myth, romanticization a reflection of everything we know to be false drawn into something it's not I have been trying to scribe my way into your heart but it's clear that I cannot let myself in without invitation the welcome mat means nothing if it goes unread and as much as I would like to get a call from you tonight, it would be silly to wait up for fiction I thought the rhetoric I've learned would help me feel better I thought writing this might take away the aching, make me happier well here I am, am I?
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Apr 9, 2015
Apr 9, 2015 at 2:21 PM UTC
Rhetoric
I can spit out words in a matter of seconds I can twist my thoughts into metaphors and anaphora and all this rhetoric they taught me, they said it would make my argument stronger, that it would make me a better writer well here I am, am I? I can do it all I can make pain taste like sugar, granulate it so finely to where it melts on the tongue I can cope my problems into understanding, make feeling alone no longer a possibility I can even create something similar to hope with the way I form these phrases together I can almost do it all, but I cannot write you into my arms I cannot place you in this bed next to me I often wring passion into language, this pouring out becomes exhausting and It doesn't matter how many times I rewrite this poem Poems don't make people fall in love People make people fall in love I wish I could make you fall in love but I am not one of those who can I've learned it doesn't matter how nice these titles are, the stanzas, the formatting, the content is not important Whether or not I bury my soul into the center is irrelevant when you are currently the only thing living inside of it Every time I pick up a pen or a pencil or a page I hear you My head has become a blank thesaurus, everything sounds like your arms holding I search for inspiration and your name is all I can find I want to say the same goes for you with mine but that would be a lie more than anything else I guess that's what writing is more than anything else deceit, fabrication, myth, romanticization a reflection of everything we know to be false drawn into something it's not I have been trying to scribe my way into your heart but it's clear that I cannot let myself in without invitation the welcome mat means nothing if it goes unread and as much as I would like to get a call from you tonight, it would be silly to wait up for fiction I thought the rhetoric I've learned would help me feel better I thought writing this might take away the aching, make me happier well here I am, am I?
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the star obliviously makes her rotations of life around the black hole glowing shining fiery pits of hell if you get close, but providing warmth and life to her planets that stay far enough away naive creature born maybe closer to the black hole than others doesn't notice it as out of the ordinary anything other than her life each movement she makes she will be closer to her destination closer to her destiny took me twenty years of life until I realized the full force of my depression only when she got close enough did she realize she was falling into the black hole that this was what wanted her energy her mass herself ******* pulling with more force than anything she had ever experienced the realization that her entire life was spent waiting to be devoured by this hell oblivion all she knew was a fabrication never even thought to wonder what she was circling just ignored the glaring questions ignored the evidence ignored all of the signs until it was too late to escape event horizon help me i am trying to gather the momentum strength power to get myself outside this point of no return seems impossible seems wasted I won't stop until I am devoured alive I am the star at an event horizon black hole let me free
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Feb 21, 2016
Feb 21, 2016 at 1:39 AM UTC
I AM THE STAR AT AN EVENT HORIZON. GRAVITY IS DEPRESSION AND THE BLACK HOLE IS LIFE.