25.9k · Oct 2014
Feelings
I feel blank
I feel useless
I feel the goosebumps on my skin

I feel hatred
I feel love
I feel the problems I am in

I feel lost
I feel found
I feel like a sin
17.2k · Nov 2014
Coffee
I'm dreaming again
I kissed you and you kissed me
We both felt the aftertaste
Of coffee in our mouths
3.5k · Dec 2014
Idiots
Lo and behold! The idiot has returned
      The people ask why
      I shrug and head turn

There he walks with his idiot stance
      I watch him angrily
      As he does his dumb prance

I remember his mind, so simple but true
      We talked a lot in the past
      I think his IQ is less than two

Great Scott! I cry for this hurts me so
      He should be executed
      Or have his scrotum cut off for show

I am filled with anger every time he breathes
      How did he live this long?
      He should just stand in a busy street

Alas, there is nothing I can do
      What a shame
       I think he needs some counseling too

Good grief! I don't thinks his parents did well
      Raising a half-wit delinquent
      Oh isn't that just swell?

May this be a warning to you and to all
      Be wary of idiots
      For their brains are small
If the shoe fits, wear it.
3.2k · Dec 2014
Happy Birthday
I wish I could say more,
But I could only say less.
So here is a poem for you
I will not jest.

I wish you a long life
And a good one too
I wish you excitement
So you'd have something to do

I wish you good health
One that will not expire
For in these times
The need for health is dire

I wish you a world
Wherein nobody would hate
Such a beautiful person such as you
On whatever date

I wish you happiness
Unlike me who is sad
I'd want you to live
Without regretting the life you have had

Finally, I wish you love
One that will last lifetimes
A love so powerful and strong
That it can slow down your time

Happy birthday
Dec. 29, 2014

It's someone's birthday today.
2.8k · Dec 2014
My Universe
Some girls were stars,
But she was the universe
I wanted my hand in hers

Her glow was that of comets
And her heart was the sun
Her light you could never outrun

The Big Bang occurred in my heart
And instead of galaxies there was love
Through the universe my heart was shoved

She was light-years of work
I couldn't stop thinking of her face
But what remains in my hand is space
This is what my work looks like when done at 4 AM.
2.4k · Oct 2014
Manila Evenings
I went through the sidewalk on Pedro Gil and Taft
The blaring red and green traffic lights
Sort of obscured the view through my spectacles
In the early Manila evening

The smell of cancer in the air
Complimented the noise of the jeeps
That raced through the intersection
As the sun slowly sunk at the sight of the moon

I saw faces less and less
As the broken street lamps flickered
Some people were minding their own business
Others shouted and laughed in the street

I saw people gripping onto their bags
Like they gripped onto their lives, because the city is never safe
Especially at the dusk
Where all the thieves come out to play

The noise may reach above heaven
And the air may be as dirty as the sewers
But there is no other place
That I would consider home
Went on the good ol' commute from uni to home today. Just a few observations.
2.4k · Oct 2015
Monday
You are Monday
I don't look forward to you
But I have no choice

I hate you so much
But I cannot get away
For you are a part of life

My soul aches
Because you hurt me
And I can't escape

I despise your presence
But because of you
I look forward to Friday
2.3k · Nov 2014
Snow.
"It’s the things we love most, that destroy us."**
Is the quote that keeps resonating in my head.
I heard it in last night's movie
And it fills me up with dread.

I can say it's true
Since I've experienced it once or twice.
It has frozen my heart solid
What moves through my veins now is ice.
Saw Mockingjay Part I last night.
2.0k · Oct 2014
Daydreaming
I spent my days staring at her
Contemplating her beauty
Missing lessons left and right
Failing quizzes and the like

I used my spare time thinking about her
Us having picnics on hills
Staring lovingly into her eyes
Her face radiating in the sunlight

I imagined our waking hours
In our house by the beach
Opening our eyes so sluggishly
Exchanging smiles, her and me

I stopped daydreaming and thought
Of the dark reality
I imagined all the way
And let her slip away
1.9k · Nov 2014
Lollipop
I loved you.
What did I get for it?
Nothing but depression

I wanted you so badly
That I would beg and plead to God
Every Sunday at church

I was like a child,
Asking my mother for the one lollipop
That was on the counter at the grocery

Then I think again
After a long time
"Was it worth it?"

I then remember
That I didn't even like the flavor
It was the worst flavor

It was the worst of all
But I still wanted it
Because I was blind

I cried
Because she never bought it
And I wanted that one

I then imagined
What I would do
If my mother had bought it

With my childlike mind,
I would have been overjoyed
To merely have it in my hand

But with who I am now,
I would've tossed it to the ground
And crushed it with my heel

This is what you have done to me
Feel better?
Me neither.
I can't put how sad I truly am in words.
1.9k · Nov 2015
(I need to buy more alcohol)
Hell's day to-morrow
and I am all out of rum
To help me sleep
Maybe I will be up all night
waiting for Death's sweet embrace
because I know that the Reaper
will bring me peace
I drank the last of the rum last night.
UPDATE: Found some vodka
1.8k · Dec 2014
Forgetting you
I still think of you at night sometimes
I wish I had a drink
To forget you

Why won't you stop haunting me?
I need to find someone new
To forget you

We never noticed each other after that night
I need to talk to you
To forget you
Not my best.
1.5k · Nov 2014
Old Friends
What hurts worse than loving
Is losing
Not a lover, but a friend.

They always say "bros before hoes,"
But what if you didn't get the hoe
And your bros left too?

What's wrong with this world?
It's full of broken promises and bonds.
I know the feeling all to well.
I hope she knows who she is.
How would it be like to die in a gutter?
A gutter made of cold pavement
That slowly grows warmer and warmer
As I lay down and feel the life drain out of the pores of my skin
A gutter with stagnant water turned green
By whatever the hell makes stagnant water green

Some nights I see myself dying in a gutter
I feel the warm blood rush out of my mouth
And the icy gutter slime on my right shoulder
Both of them cooling my skin, one more than the other

I watch cars full of people
Who don't care enough to help a dying man
Pass by my side as I die sluggishly
With their rubber necks and undeaf ears

I don't want to die in a gutter
I would never want to die in a gutter,
But if there is peace and silence in dying in one
Let the cars pass
1.3k · Nov 2014
The Search
I'm on the search for fame
Because I don't want the world to bury me

I'm on the search for love
Because I don't want to be buried alone

I'm on the search for an answer
Because I know there's more to life

I'm on the search for happiness
Because I want to go out with a smile

I'm on the search for everything
Because I want to live life to the fullest.
Give me some feedback, guys! Let me know you're alive! Just wrote this down now. Not my best work, maybe I'll improve on it one day.
1.2k · Nov 2015
Asteroids
My heart is a planet
Or was
Because now it's
An asteroid belt
That floats
Ceaselessly
Around the sun
The bright star
That is you
1.2k · Nov 2014
movies and books
I watched her everyday

                                  like a movie

                           but I knew


                                                               that there was more depth in the book.
1.2k · Dec 2015
Clocks
Most men run like clockwork.
Each piece is relevant to the system.
Alas, I am different.
I am a clock, like all other men,
But I am filled with broken parts:
Broken gears, broken hands,
And broken everything else.
I can no longer move forward in time
For my hands are stuck
Cursed to tell and retell one minute.

Why would the clockmaker
Turn me into a monstrosity?
Is this a punishment for my sins
Or is it a challenge I cannot win?
Am I broken to start with
Or is this a cruel joke?
I wish not to retell the same time
Because it is a time that haunts me.
A time that has brought me grief.
Fix me, so I may not be stuck.
Honestly, I'm too lazy to read long poems,
But I can't stop writing them so
I can sympathize.
Just sayin'. This doesn't apply all the time though.
1.0k · Nov 2015
Bacardi Blues
I'm running on Bacardi
Drinking like a slob at this party
My heart reaches for her hand
But only on the bottle does it land
I pour another cup of drink
And into a mattress I sink
Thinking just of her
As the world around me blurs
My heart twists and turns
While my esophagus burns
My face goes numb
And now I am drunk
Don't drink that stuff.
1.0k · Oct 2016
I Miss You: A Conversation
I miss you so much

I miss you too

I want you so badly right now

Me too, darling...

I miss holding you
And your presence
And your voice

I miss the smell of your perfume
I miss your hands
I miss running my fingers through your hair


I miss the taste of your lips
And the warmth of your skin
I miss your eyes and their depth

I miss you entirely

I miss your being around me

*Goddamn it, Lorenzo
I love you.
1.0k · Dec 2014
A Sad New Year's Eve
It is the eve of the dawn of a new time
Tonight I fill myself
With any alcoholic drink
To curb the curses this year has given

I'm sad again like always
So I'll be drinking to forget
All the memories that hurt
And all the problems I have

I wish you a Happy New Year
And may you find your happiness
While I find mine
In a shot glass
Happy New Year
997 · Feb 2015
A Letter To A Part II
All I want is to talk
Again like old times,
But I'm so full anger.

You wrote to me once.
You told me to never forget you
Forgetting you is impossible.

I think about you everyday
Even if I don't want you
I couldn't forget you if I tried.

You're a lost cause,
But I'm trying to fight
Even if it means dying

Just shoot me already.
You already took out my heart.
Finish me off.

Please I'm begging you,
Just end me
Because I don't want to live like this.
September 15, 2014

I have decided to post this series of poems. I don't know how many letters I'll write in the future or maybe I'll just stop writing the letters altogether.

Another thing, almost everything in this series is raw. Should I keep posting or what?
984 · Nov 2015
Jealousy
I am jealous
Because he is the poison
In your bloodstream

He is the darkness
That haunts you at 2 AM
When you're falling asleep

I wish to be the one
Who keeps you up at night
Making you think of ruined futures
960 · Sep 2015
Inferno
I am Dante
I am a poet, a writer, and a fool
My love for her burns worse than hell

I will go through the circles
Of the nine hells below
Just to have her rest in my arms

My soul will suffer
As those below do,
But my love for her will guide me

The fires may touch my skin
And the hopelessness will hit me,
But I will keep fighting for her

I care not for the souls of the souls of the damned
I only care for the soul of my love
For she is my Beatrice
930 · May 2015
The Girl In The Red Dress
She danced and laughed like she was a person,
But inside she was an evil demon.

The red of her dress bounced from wall to wall.
How could it be possible not to fall?

Her horns sprouted from inside her head
And what she told me filled me with dread.

"I don't love you. I think I never will."
No other words but those make me want to kill.

I burned inside, I regret having fell.
For falling made me feel the fires of hell.

The dress she wore turned into her skin.
Oh god forbid what I'm about to get in.

Never had evil looked so sublime.
Now I wish for this demon to be mine.

My feelings for her then became dire.
She grabbed me and threw me into the hellfire.
923 · Apr 2017
Final Frontier
The phases of matter all turn into one
When her lips touch mine
It burns like a thousand supernovas
And freezes like the vaccuum of space

The stars spill bright light through the invisble river
That holds no air in the darkness

The cheek of her face brushing mine
Fills me with the feeling
Of my heart when I see crescent moons

I can't wait to float away
Into the bright swirling stars
In the distance
With nobody but you

And maybe when we do that
We'll feel the stars pull us back
Like on starships
921 · Oct 2016
Painters
The world around me has always been gray
The buildings, the trees, the skies, and the people
Have always been duller than the blade
I used to cut myself with

Now I see the world in bright colors
Because you came in and painted it all
From corner to corner to corner to corner
And you filled in every detail
And every spot that was bleak

Darling, when the colors in your life fade,
Remember that I will always be there
To bring back all of the lost vibrance
And add a lot more
I love you so much.
865 · Dec 2014
Old Texts
I was reading old texts again
Or at least what little is left.
How I wish we could go back
To the time we talked til morning.

Typing on our phones
Like time didn't exist.
Sending texts
Like it was world's end.

We'd talk of nothing,
But something at the same time
I don't know if I forced you
Or if you truly did want to speak.

The past can bring joy and pain,
And now I'm in both.
I wish we still texted each other
Because I sort of miss you.
My phone doesn't ring as much as it used to.
861 · Dec 2015
Failed Expectations
I wanna talk to you
Like I'm yours and you're mine
Slow deep conversations
At two in the morning

Us traveling the world
Like we're birds in the breeze
Exploring all the bumps
And the cracks on Earth's face

Hearing your soft whispers
Say "I love you" at night
While the world is asleep
And enveloped in dark

Your lips and mine touching
As fireworks light the sky
Burning bright memories
In our lives' pages
We expect too much.
859 · Oct 2015
I Want You To Fall For Me
I want you to fall for me,
So I can hurt you
Just as much as you did me
I want you to feel
Your heart burst like a balloon
On a sunny day
I want you to be in tears
Of sadness, not joy
And watch you cry your heart out
In hopes I'd  turn 'round
Cruel they seem, my thoughts now,
But you did the same
The morning you turned your back
I was born again
Into who you see today
If you want the old me back
You will have to dig
Because he was buried deep
In his now dead heart
The heart you stomped on back then
The one in the dirt
My poor, beat up, dead, black heart
How I wish daily
That my heart beat like before
So I could love more
But it is impossible
For it lost the fight
I want you to fall for me,
So I can crush you
Until your damn heart gives out
And you cry to sleep
For the rest of your damn life
821 · Dec 2016
A bit of nonsense
Come with me
Through the noise
And the disarray

The deafening tones
Of screaming children
And dying adults
(Millennials probably
We both know
That they never
Shut up)

The world
Around ourselves
Is a path
Of broken glass
Atop coal embers,
So I beg you
To hold my hand
And walk through them
With me
785 · Jul 2016
Desire
I see myself wrapped around you while the moon watches the earth
My lips gliding upon the smooth, pink velvet that are yours
Our tongues dancing through the night like fire does in the darkness
And our eyes locked into each others' with no key in sight

Unchained, feral, passionate
We will be as such and more as we reach a new form of enlightenment
As you entwine your fingers around mine and run them through my hair

Our hearts, as one, will beat and beat and beat and beat and beat and beat
Faster and faster as the hands of the clock move further into time
Lips glide, tongues dance, eyes lock, fingers entwine, hearts beat
*Bliss
June 30, 2016
729 · Jan 2017
12 o' Clock Syndrome
Late nights haunt me
With memories of old conversations
With people I used to know

I remember the ways
I used to look at them
And how dumb I was
And how dumb they were

The names and faces
Old friends and would-have-been lovers
Ring and ring into my head like church bells
Before the Sunday mass would start

They echo in the halls of my mind
Like noise in school corridors
Or cars honking in parking lots
Or even guns at a shooting range

I live with these ghosts
Who sing about the friendly insults
And misunderstandings
And shattered hearts

May God be with me.
720 · Oct 2016
Tagaytay
The cold mountain air nips at my cheeks
While I sit on the cold grass of this slope
I can feel the chills poke my skin like needles
And crawl down my spine like spiders
But the chills aren't worse than the cold feeling in my chest
Because you aren't here by my side
717 · Jan 2017
It's the little things
The way she smiled
At the sight of
Pretty glass bottles
And things like honey
Always amused me

She sees so much good in this world
And she is slowly teaching me how to
713 · Jun 2016
Empty Happiness
Happiness like this is irrational
It is a happiness I do not enjoy
Because it ends up dissipating
One way or another

Dopamine and adrenaline
Run through my body
I feel like I'm alive again
Like hundreds of horses gallop in my veins
And thousands of butterflies fill my stomach

Then you disappear
Leaving me with nothing
But the air you had breathed
And the feeling fades
And it fades
And it fades
And it fades
703 · Nov 2015
What Love Lost Is Like
She's half a heart
Because you took more away
Than you gave her

She's mad at night
And tries to sleep
Searching for peace

She can't see through the rage
Or through the tears
Or through the pain

What you did was fail her
Because she believed
In you wholeheartedly
702 · Dec 2014
Drinks.
This drink makes me happy
I say as I gulp down my gin
It helps me forget the problems I'm in

This drink makes me happy
I say as I swallow my vodka
It helps me forget all my trauma

This drink makes me happy*
I say as I chug down my beer
It helps me get rid of my fears
I'm far from alcoholic.
700 · Aug 2016
Pirouette
Burning passion, gentle movements, and unwavering precision
Are only three sets of words that describe her
She moved en pointe with her ink-dipped shoes and wrote herself down on the pages of my existence
Delicate cursive appeared across the blank, unlined leaves
Creating soothing poetry amidst all the chaotic rants in the pages before
I watched as each step, throw, and turn add new words to the narrative
The spotlight followed her every movement as she floated across the stage
Jotting down line after line of her calming words

The lights faded after she ended the fourth stanza
And she was greeted with thunderous applause by the voices in my head
I could see her silhouette dance slowly on the unlit stage
She spun for what seemed like hours before the lights came back on

There she stood

The once pure and clean ballerina in white was drenched in blood and ink
She moved aggressively and without remorse painting rough lines on the soft syllables she'd written for me
Her eyes glowed with unholy strength as she knelt upon my pages
And ripped them from one corner to the other, tearing the book's spine
All I  could do was stare at her as she smiled at her work
And silently exit stage left
697 · Oct 2016
Your Warm Embrace
If I could hold you
And never let go
I would do that

To feel the warmth
Of your body on mine
Is soothing and serene
Like tea on a cold morning
Or whiskey on a winter night

The feeling of your breath
On the bare skin of my shoulders
Shifts my heartbeat into high gear
And fills my mind with electricity
Making me realize that life is good
After years of thinking it was hell
Much can happen
In the space
Between the marks
Of the seconds
On a clock

The world could turn
Into a murky brown puddle
Of shit and shitstains
That dirties the boots
Of all the people
On the way to work
Or home to the wife
And twelve kids

The room with white walls
Slowly but surely
Turns to one with black walls
That sweat dark pearls
That melt the doorknob,
Block the windows,
And cover the door

The bubbles in the bath
Burst and leave clear water
That hold your floating filth
In microscopic specks
And the flickering light
Flirts with you
To dip your head and fall asleep
In the fading warmth
Based on some lines of The Crunch by Charles Bukowski
I don't think I'll write about how your hair flows in the wind
And how I worship it like the flag of my country

I'm not going to write about how your dark eyes fill me with vigor
And how they turn my dark soul white

I'm not authoring a poem about your voice
Filling the air with the sweet notes from Apollo's lyre

I'm not going to pen down anything about your sweet smile
The smile that can end wars and famine

I won't write you for Valentine's
I might reconsider it though
686 · Nov 2015
Darkness In Light
Being as lonesome as I
Expels all thoughts of happiness
A darkness looms over me
Telling me to give up hope
Reality is cruel, but
I shall stand tall
Combatting the demons
Everywhere in sight
Acronym.
665 · Oct 2016
The Word: A Conversation
I love you so much

I love you too

You have given me happiness in this dark time
And I love you so much for it

Oh darling

Words cannot even express how much I am thankful for you and how much I love you

"Love" is not an adequate enough term for everything I feel in my heart, mind, and soul for you.

If only there were a word for what we feel for each other.
My being wants to scream that word out into the cosmos,
But I do not know what the word is.

I want to write the word, over and over again all over my blank white walls until they crumble
I want to say it to you every time I kiss you, every time you hold my hand, and every time I so much as think of you.

Iñigo.

I love you with every shred of my being. Every cell in my body misses you with ever passing nanosecond.
I want you here.


We're going to go around the world to look for that word. We will look at every painting in every museum. Every sculpture in every garden. Every star in the sky. We will find this word.
And I love you with every shred of mine.
Each time I say your name or even think about it or you, I fall in love all over again

I as well

We're stronger than the days.
Stronger than time.
We can get through this.

Stronger than the toughest rock, stronger than water.
We will.
We must.


Stronger than every wind that has ever touched the earth.

I love you.

*I love you too.
Lorenzo
*Fay*
654 · Oct 2014
Dull Temptations
I'm smelling ash that isn't there
And tasting beer I haven't drank,
I have you to thank.

I miss these dull temptations
Even all they've done is hurt me.
Leaving me was easy, how hard could it be?

These days I laugh,
I laugh with pain,
I can't even try to say your name.
Well, here's something. It isn't much, I guess. Charles Bukowski's "Cows in Art Class" stuck with me and here's something I cooked up from it.
Always for him, never for me
Is what always runs through my head

Always for him, never for me
I wanna fill my brain with lead

Always for him, never for me
Just spit in my face right now

Always for him, never for me
Tie me up and make me drown

Always for him, never for me
Choke me until I black out

Always for him, never for me
Turn my neck into a blood spout

Always for him, never for me
Always for him
*Never for me
Why must you choose him over me?
Maybe she sees
Gentle rays of the sun
Glimmer from my face
Just like how I see her:
The light in the darkness
Of life's obscure fog

I wonder if she feels
The warm summer breeze
That would slowly blow
Upon her soft cheeks
Whenever I speak
The same breeze I feel
When she tells me
Nothings and somethings

I hope she feels
The slight glow
Of white moonlight
When my arms wrap around her
The very same glow
Whenever her arms
Lock themselves behind me
Sending me a message
To never let her go

I wish she forgets seeing
The heavy rains
That flood the roads on my face
Whenever I asked
If I were enough for her
Or if I were too much to handle

I wish she understands
The cyclones in my head
That clap thunder and flash lightning
Whenever the anger in me
Boils the chaotic saltwater
And creates tsunamis
In the vast ocean of my mind

I wish she forgives me
For the hailstorms in my words
That fall to the ground
And break like glass shards
That shatter windows and roofs
And car windshields and windows

I am a force of nature
The smell of leather
Will never be the same

Brown eyes
Will never be the same

The taste of skin
Will never be the same

The sound of swallowing water
Will never be the same

Elevator doors
Will never be the same

Holding hands
Will never be the same

Music
Will never be the same

Poetry
Will never be the same

Heartbeats
Will never be the same

Love
Will never be the same

Life
Will never be the same

I
Will never be the same

And all of this is for the better
628 · May 2015
Never Forget Her
"Never forget me."
She scribbled on the letter
That is what I remember
When I try to make my life better

"Never forget me."
She wrote in her cursive hand
I told myself to lam
But what happened was a countermand

"Never forget me."*
She happily wrote on the page
Those words were my bondage
This can be cured only by age
She wrote me a letter once. ONCE.
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