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I spend my nights thinking of how you thought
If ev'rything you said was all for naught.
Did you love me true romantically
Or did you just say it to not hurt me?

My dear, I loved you with all that I had
I thought we would both end up real glad
But now I see that you didn't mean it
Now all of this, to me, is pretty ****

I wish you meant all of the things you said
Maybe I wouldn't have wished I were dead,
But I still love you in all honesty
I wish you never said that you loved me

Because I'm finding hardships moving on
If we stayed friends this feeling would be gone,
But you decided to ***** the floor
And told me that you felt a feeling more

I would've missed the style and way you kissed,
But all I am right now is ******* ******
I really truly wish that you loved me
Or maybe just let the friendship we had be
I remember the night we met
We kissed in the dark, dim lights
Of a public parking lot
We held hands, fingers intertwined

I told myself I could get used to it
Kissing you in dark, dim parking lot lights
And we always kissed in them, holding hands
I told myself I could get used to it

I remember holding you tight
Half my body hanging off
The back seat of my X-Trail
The kisses were worth the back pain

I told myself I could get used to it
Kissing you in dark, dim parking lot lights
And we always kissed in them, holding hands
I told myself I could get used to it

I remember falling in love
Actually, I didn't
I made the choice to love you
I thought I got it right for once

I told myself I could get used to it
Kissing you in dark, dim parking lot lights
And we always kissed in them, holding hands
I told myself I could get used to it

I told myself I could get used to it
Loving you in dark, dim parking lot lights
And outside of dark, dim parking lot lights
I never should have gotten used to it
I'm lying in bed in the dark again
My earphones are loudly playing your song
I recall you saying you hated it,
But this is one of the only ****** ways
I can hear your beautiful voice again

I'm afraid of calling you, honestly
I'm afraid you'll tell me what I expect
"We should just be friends. Can we just be friends?"
I wanted you to be my lover, dear.

I would have loved you as hard as I could
Harder than I have ever loved before
But you'd never let me love you like that
Because to you, my love would chain you down

You'd be a bird in a golden-barred cage,
A skiff with a passenger ship's anchor,
Someone who you never saw yourself as
Someone you never really planned to be

So maybe all of this was for the best
Relationships, after all, hurt a lot
So maybe all of this was for the best,
But I'm unsure when my love for you shall rest
There is a star under the moon
It looks like the star is under the moon
I like to imagine it that way
It's beautiful

                       moon
                         star

I love how close they are
They're so close
Just two reaching hands away
Like lovers separated
By two metal fences
Two different sides
To two different worlds

                       moon
                         star

You are so close
Just reach
Just touch
Just love and be loved

                       moon



                         star

But this is reality
You're far, far away
Beyond two metal fences
But of two different sides
Of two different worlds
The sky is beautiful tonight.
too close
too far

proximity in places
true proximity is not permitted
stings like bees on your arms
and ants in your legs

too close
too far
Show me the world I never knew, darling
The one where notes leap off and onto staves
The world that beats on drums, and strums on strings, and sings as I sleep
The world full of late nights in bars I never go to
Where beer pours like ambrosia to the sound of galloping red horses

I want to kiss you in your world, if you'd let me
Let me into your world and let me look into your eyes the way I do when we're alone
And I hope you look into mine the way you do when we're alone
The sound of your voice
Saying sweet things
Still rings in my ears
Like the sound of blades to bucklers

The look in your eyes
That show me the universes in your soul
The ones I get in dimly lit parking lots
I miss that

Your hands
They tell me you trust me
When I hold them and when you hold me
Without caring if they're sweaty or not

Your cheeks
The way they grow warm
And they way they make you glow pink
My hands cup them almost perfectly
I wish I could hold them again

The feel of your lips
Smooth, pink, and velvety
My lips glide upon yours
I wish they would once more

I'm not going to lie
I've been missing you dearly
The way flies miss the window
Even if it's wide open

I wish I could hold you again
The way we hold each other when nobody is looking
How we hold each other
When we know nobody who sees us will care

One of these days
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