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M Apr 2018
usually,
i would be asleep at 1:00 am.
but, not today

i’m thinking about you.
even though it’s past midnight,
that doesn’t mean that you’re out of my mind,
it’s like you don’t cross it,
but you stay in it.

you know,
sometimes i wonder,
how to get you out of my mind?
part one of three
M Apr 2018
my eyes are staring blankly at the sky,
and my messy thoughts are suddenly speaking

are you doing just fine?
are you laughing?
or are you enjoying the time that's passing?

i closed my eyes and you were here,
blurry in my mind,

and my messy thoughts were suddenly speaking again,

are you thinking about me like i'm thinking about you?
my first poem for him
M Apr 2018
i’m not sleeping, still.
i’m wide awake,
and i’m having thoughts about you.

are you happy?
are you laughing?
is there anyone making you smile?
are you tired,
or even sad?

i think, i overthink about
overthinking about you too much.

but most importantly,
is someone making your heart flutter,
like you make my heart flutter?

part two of three
M Apr 2018
i was drifting off to sleep
my eyes were heavy and,
it keeps producing tears,
due to the deprivation.

and then,
i finally fell asleep.

i was flying in the dreamland,
and i saw you.
and you were crystal clear,
i thought you were real.

and god,
you’re so beautiful.
your beautiful dark brown eyes,
your messy brunette hair,
your dimples when you smile,
and the crinkle of your eyes,
when you grin.

and for a second,
i thought i dreamt of angels,
when actually, it’s you.

part three of three
M Aug 2018
i never once cared about you,
who's always holding her tightly in your arms.

but earlier, i was thinking about it and
three hours went by painfully slow.

my tears were streaming down my face,
just thinking about you and her.

the pain in my heart,
never left.
M Feb 2019
tidak disadari, langit yang biru berubah
menjadi warna oranye dan ungu muda.
perpaduannya pun sangat indah,
ditemani pula oleh kicauan burung yang sunyi.

selang waktu berjalan, hati semakin berat,
pena dan kertas, aku bertemu lagi denganmu.
langit yang indah tiba tiba berteriak,
seperti singa yang mengaung ditengah ladang.

apakah mungkin, bahwa kita melihat langit yang sama?
perbedaan waktu yang tidak masuk akal, ingin membuatku
menguras air di lautan yang biru,
yang menghalangi pertemuan kita.

gila, bukan?
aku berbicara kepada kertas putih,
layaknya kertas ini adalah sahabatku,
atau kuping yang selalu mendengar.

tangisan hati pun terlalu keras, malam ini.
langit yang indah, sekarang bersaturasi,
menjadi warna abu abu yang gelap,
jadi ini, toh.

ini, yang dinamakan
berbicara kepada kertas,
saat air mata milik senja,
turun dari langit.
a drabble in indonesian, this poem is so hard to convert to english, but i will try to. you can translate this if you want <3
M Apr 2018
as my head pounds,
and tears streamed down my face,
i wish that i could erase you,
permanently- out from my life.

i wish i could erase you,
like when people erase something
with an eraser.
i wish it’s as easy as that.

and i wish i could erase you,
like when people erase something
with a correction tape.
i think i’d be better off without you.

but no matter how much i tried,
forgetting you, and vanishing you-
you’d still be here,
somehow.

i hate it.

but, erasers and correction tape,
left marks, right?
:)
M May 2018
i could never
love you too much,
it's either i die for you-
or i **** for you.
M Mar 2020
it's not like he's not thinking about me,
i never crossed him mind, not even once.

it was straight up running through an avalanche,
letting a self-destruct bomb go off inside me.

my atoms were slowly destructed one by one,
parts of me are taken away by the ghosts.

how does it feel like when the lovebug bit?
i never got butterflies, just tantrums in my head.

it's a desolation,
the thrills you caused are nothing now.

do you ever think about me?
back with another sadness
M Mar 2019
it's no doubt that you're someone
who means a lot to me,
a boy full of joy, happiness,
who also radiate love and eternal glow.

i watched you cry, and i also watched you suffer.
blame me for assuming,
but i know you're hurting once or twice,
and you hid it with your grin.

how could someone be so selfless,
how could someone be so true,
how could someone be so pure,
and how could someone be so endearing.

you put me in bliss,
makes me feel like i'm laying
in a bed made of flowers,
and a blanket that is sewed with your love.
for you, my excalibur, cho seungyoun.
HIM
M Apr 2018
HIM
the first time i saw you,
you had the brightest smile on your face

the way your eyes crinkle,
the way you get so excited over simple things,
and the way you laugh when you found something funny,

it was indeed

a beautiful sight.
M Apr 2018
you were standing across from me,
and i have to admit, you look like...
someone who fell from heaven because
you look so gorgeous.

your dyed blonde hair was falling freely to your eyes,
and your hazel brown eyes were drop dead beautiful.
you were also tall, and it makes me giggle,
is this love at first sight?

i had the strong urge,
to approach you and call you by your name,
and i was really dreading to ask you something,

i don't know you, but
do you wanna get
a cup of coffee with me?
M Apr 2018
hanahaki.
which the victim coughs up flower petals and suffocate
when they suffer from one-sided love,
an unrequited love.

honestly,
as interesting and
unique as it sounds,
if it was a real disease, it must hurt.

why?
because he will make flowers bloom in my heart,
and as beautiful as it sounds,
it will suffocate me and it will hurt.
M May 2018
everything is falling apart,
now that you found someone else.

it is heart wrenching and
you can see my heart breaking
bits by bits,
pieces by pieces.

it hurts me,
seeing you happy with someone else.
but i'm okay with it,
because it's you.

can't you see i'm smiling even though i'm hurting?
i'm hanging in there, don't you see?
so stop asking me if i'm fine, or not.

because i'm not, and i'm hiding it from you.
inspired by the song 'o children' by nick cave & the bad seeds
M Apr 2018
the stars
thanks to them that i’m able to write this
they keep me content and they’re the ones
who can hear my thoughts.

can they hear me thinking about you?

about your eyes,
your perfectly plump lips,
your dark brown hair,
your raspy and baritone voice

oh,

of course they can.
i thought out loud, as always.
just a random thing
M Apr 2018
my throat is burning, really.
it's so dry that it feels like my throat is a dessert.
i'm in need of something to soothe the burning sensation.
but, another thing-

i'm not interested in crystal clear liquid,
also known as water.

i want a liquid that contains your love in it,
a liquid of love.
something that i can swallow without
having second thoughts.

because i wanna know
how it feels like
being drunk in love.
being drunk in your love.
M Aug 2018
have you ever wondered,
that the person you love the most
can actually hurt you more
than you've ever been hurt before?

because i didn't know that,
until i'm experiencing it myself.
i can tell you,
i really does... hurt.
M Feb 2019
the darkness of the night consumed me,
my heart is dull and i'm heaving for air

i’m sorry, mom.

i didn't mean to shout,
i didn't mean to argue,
i didn't mean to slam the door,
and i didn't mean to get mad

the regret left my lips as i exhaled deeply,
my hands grasping on my blanket
while tears are furiously streaming down
my dark orbs

you are always so soft to me,
caressing me in your arms,
like i am an angel born into this world,
you treasure me so much.

9 months,
the pain that you had to endure while
carrying me in your belly,
walking around like you're okay

and years,
the struggle that you had to go through
while raising me and my brother as your child,
smiling through it all like you’re okay

i am yet to give you what you deserve,
mommy, please wait for me.
long time no see, hellopoetry :)
M Apr 2018
love.
that’s what most people want,
it’s what people crave the most.

unless for me,
you’re the one that i want,
my heart aches everyday,
to the thought of you.

i wanna see you again, that's all.
i just want to meet you again,
or at least, see that smile of yours up close.

that’s what my heart wants.

but the distance, is making it hard.

</3
M Aug 2019
without realizing it,
when i'm laughing and smiling,
i'm still keeping
a lot of pain in my whole body.

the walls that i've built,
can actually fall down in seconds.
i thought i was strong,
but i'm weak and fragile.

hiding your misery isn't an easy thing to do,
it's extremely painful and hard,
it's like the cruelest torture in this world.
do you wanna know how it feels like?

it feels like i'm being punched,
stabbed and pushed off of a building.
but oh yeah, how could you know?
you never experienced it before, right?
M May 2018
i am broken and bruised,
there's a scar in my heart
that's really difficult to erase.

i'm longing for a hug,
a warm embrace,
that could comfort me.

and then, i found you,
someone who i can rely on,
you're my shelter from the rain.

i found you,

my home.
M Aug 2020
it's catastrophic
when it blooms.
and when it rains,
i'm in a sisyphean loop.

no one seemed to believe,
even the impossibilities.
i refuse and i denied,
creating a new gravel path.
i think i'm falling in a chaotic love
M May 2018
i'd rather suffer,
just to see you smile and be happy.

if you were sad,
i'd trade all of my happiness
for yours,
i would.

i guess,
we're willing to do anything
for the people we love,
am i right?
sigh...
M Jun 2018
at nights like this,
i can only think about you.

as i put my headphones on,
i can hear your voice that soothes me
so loud, and
and so clear.

your voice,
your voice alone could keep me warm.

i might not have you in my arms,
but i can totally feel
your warmth
on this cold, cold night.
inspired by warm on a cold night by honne.
M May 2018
your warm hazel eyes are comforting,
so is your arm.
our limbs are tangled,
and your legs were on my waist.

i could say that
i'm the happiest person alive.

but when i open my eyes,
i realized that all of those are,
in my imagination.
the sound of the rain waking me up from my daydream.

i'm in my dull four walls,
all alone.
M Apr 2018
i have tons of wishes,
hundreds of them.

but i’m dying for one of my wishes,
to come true.

and that’s,

you.
M May 2018
you can make me feel like i'm in bliss,
but at the same time, you can wreck me,
like i'm a bubble who can pop at any time.

you make me so happy, that your smile-
is enough to make me feel joy.

but you also wreck me,
because it's not me,
i'm not the reason why you're smiling.

it's not me.
it's her.

— The End —