I am summoned
With others
All walks and sheens
Colors and creeds
All the same
But never met

We shiver
In Various stages of boredom
Half lidded eyes
Opened suddenly in disgusted salute
To the wet hacking of a dying old miser
Or that disembodied voice
A wraith
Whos pleasant words
Drip with the undeniable fear
Of wasting away
On this cheap throne I've been displaced to,
Or being brought to bare
In some jade kings court.
Made to don a jesters hat
But told to keep the bells silent
And our emotions, our humanity still
While being forced to feed on the horrors
Of civilization so that we may better
Judge the complexity of one life
In a time frame whos picture within
Is too small to be anything but abstract.

This drought of the living time
An infinity to my blood
My bones even twitch at it nervously
Begging for the freedom
Of the common fools
 as we twelve,
The demi gods,
must choose what to do with the remnants
of one desiples plate
of under decided decisions
In a life that most have never known
And even fewer wouldn't trade
a half buried pile of cat turds for.

I guess he didn't know
that we are free
as long as we Bow low enough
Not to be seen

And so we sit low
Staring at a message
A countdown
A simple marker to represent
The life we give in the hopes of
Being let back into what ever cells
We have built for ourselves

Everything is shaped like
The world tree
But when she is around
I tend to notice
The flowery ends

I miss the wind of them.
Those raspberry pancake
words.
The giggly syrup floods
in monster truck style.
The no's and the pouts,
the boxing bouts.
The random dinosaur
I love you,
from cookie filled smiles.

The blade of truth
Twists in my side
More and more these days.

And not for fear of
Pride or power
Or chapeled tatters
Wanderously wrapped
About a masked truth

But much like
the salmon

Mysteriously compelled
To boomerrang the
Veins in which they spawned.
A sacred certain death.

Not to EMULATE the universe

Such a fools errand it is
To complicate
What comes naturally

No,        
But to HONOR it.

I know you
burning me
like a black river
from the eyes of time.

Your foggy vision,
a monk with no feet.
I can feel you
but I cannot find.

So sit there then,
sit there and pray.
It's all you have left,
It's all you ever were.

Where do you
want me to be?
What can I give you
that you won't bleed all over?

Only the truth.
Only the past.

My secrets are mine.

Only the wind and the wheel
will ever show you
but you are too busy looking for tomorrow to feel today.
To much vision to see what's now.

I have not moved past you
rather, I have shed you.
Like beer from a bottle.
Making someone happy

at least for now.

Burn this fabric
the weave of the grandest way
we wrap our secret selves in
and write little patterns
that somehow pushes apart
from the comfort of speech
to break the truth
into lie-able bits
that everyone can approve of
because they are pretty
then you will be hollow
with the desire
to tug on the dangling strings
that always itch
the nose of conscience
to be rid of the ******
the mold you have been force in
and you will unravel when it hurts
and you will unravel when it is quiet
you will become bare
just shape
just like everything else
and when you find
peace in your own decimation
a single flower will grow
behind your lifes eye
a memory of when you took root
in the self
a lense to see your life
as you mean to live it

Standing accused
Only seven winters to my name
Moused by my fathers presence.
The very fear of it
Pressing the notion of gallows
Into the wooden casing
of our Iowa doorworks.

Challenging the gateway,
The neighborhood
John wayne gacey
Barely hiding his knives
Behind bruise cloaked eyes.
His corner man?
The no **** taking mother?

There were words
Little parental valkyrie fighting
In the air, encircling my head
With clashing shield and spear.
And finally the question.

Why did you do it?

All stared at the tiny
Self proclaimed savior of worms, snakes, and birds.

You see,

Bill was attempting to make an end.
The end of yet another small life.
And so when seeing bill peddling
Toward the beginnings of a robin
Upon surely what was that robins ending.
Seven winters brave flew across
The grand expanse of 7th st
Slamming into the animal antichrist,
Scooping up that prey,
And retreating to the stanktity*
That was our garage.

While that poured from my mind,
Like a voiceless demigod
Left to statue in the garden
Of inexperience.

Only this escaped,
A horse and cracked,
Solid stab at the truth.
"Because my heart told me to"
Behind the then untamed fiery youth
In my fathers eyes, the fury...
Was the golden pride
Only found
Singular ever
In that one
place.

You know,
I used to be in tune.
Every part of me.
Even my hair.
The wind, its metronome.
I remember its fractal pace
Across my skin.
My hands,
Spiders across the keys.
Netting patterns
And devouring their wisdom.
My heart,
A cathedral to sound.
The beat of the universe
Pulsing through everything.
And me,
My soul,
Surfing those vibes
With fingers
And fire.
Like mercury.
Like lightening.

freedom.

But Now,
there are too many cracks
In the cathedral windows.
Too many stains.
Too many bricks thrown through.
The music still comes though.
A crooked and umbral thing.
Etching the patterns of sadness
into my Eyes,
with the shards of memories.
And I am so very tired
of being
Blind.

Music again.
It always comes to music.
Always good, in its misty perfection.
It is the bridge to your yestermind.
The smiles in the way far back.
Even for the lost. the dying.
The electric guitar in my veins.
Stinging strings ripping my soul.
Not for damage but for greater growth!
The cancer everyone needs.
Like bubonic symphonic coos
from metal head doves
of golden fired mustering.
A parade down mirrored streets.
Gliding like fireflies
across all the paths that are you.
Dead on
right on
cried on
thoroughly you.
uncontrollably you.
Fathom the fullness of chasing something
that resides entirely in your soul?
An alchemy of pox - e, moxie,
and all things cobalt blue.
The moon light see of answers.
Only an ear away.

So 16 bit, I beg of you
Every time I switch you on
Galvanize time 'till I am dust
Adventures perilous and long

The wind blows smoke on a darkened day
From a pyre for deeds once done.
I sit in the silence drinking my mead
Shadowed by the dying sun

I watch the phantoms dance the wall
In the grace of one so fare
Wrapped in dusk and a violet mood
With lightening lancing her hair

Why do I stare
She whispers to me
Oh do I dare to show her
All that I see

She catches my mind with a grasping smile
And speaks with gesture of hand
In her eyes I swim the shining sea
And walk the ancient sands

Peace I seek and I found it there
And so here I shall always stay
As starlight blazes from her soul
Only hell shall bar my way

And why do I stare
She whispers to me
Oh do I dare to show her
All that I see

I was not asked to bare a cross
I carry a mantle instead
Of woven dreams
With hope spun seems
In a salty loveloss red.

I was not asked to speak aloud
But I shall do it anyway
As hand grenades
Or sweet cascades
Like an actor's last of days

I was not asked to know this fire
So I will feed it with my coal
Until it drowns
With in the bounds
Of my mighty roaring soul

I was not asked to sit here still
And breathe the colors of the sky
These clouds of mine
Go astray in time
Releasing the arcane eye

I shall carry your body
Across misty mountian ways
Wrapped with
linen and holly

And lament the crooked paths
Of the leather footed thieves
With restless
dirks and brandy

The earth shelters your secret
Under water weathered stone
And i'm left
ever wanting

While grieving and broken breaths
Sing through outlawed ancient pipes
They focus
grief so grandly

One more lonely kiss goodbye
Upon painted wordless lips
A last wish
whispers wholy

But shouting and sullen eyes
Scream my naked barren name
While grinding
Dreams to nothing

Hey,
I dont really know you
But I've seen you everywhere
Always miraculously
Walking in the rain.

I know you feel
Like your the only one
With real problems
And that it somehow
Makes you feel special

I know your father died
I know you did too
And you've been haunting life
Like a little grey dream
Ever since

I know that you think
The least of yourself
And that maybe
You aren't worth the time
To understand

But you talk anyway
With your eyes
With your lost shoulders
With the subtle smirk
And a lazy three fingered wave

And so I listen
I know you need help
With the shattered bits
The lines on your wrists
But you won't ask

And I sure as hell
Won't leave you here.

Pain is measured in the battlefields
We have crossed
The walls we have climbed
And the ghosts
We leave behind

So is love.

The center seat stinks
can't move my knees, crushed and hot
such a landfill spot

I see this space, unraveled eyes.  
The tight ropes that sing when plucked.
The wisdom embedded in the halls of failed yesterdays.
The smiles that preach endless laughter
to the unsuspecting mourning soul.
Falling sparks of ever winter moonlight
beckoning all who see

not for greater glory, ambition, or power. 
 Just the wisdom in old tears, the wealth of blood, the anchor of friendship, and the honor of holding the future accountable.

Isn't it sad
that the shear host of us
umbrellas to block the glow
The light
we used to taste
in one another's
soul

"What can I say"
said the wind to no man
it just is and has to be
like fires on the beach
with cool family you found
under a jar of blinky gravity
systematically tearing at our reality
supersymetrically
super intentionally
wheeling grace, the never withers,
slithers through our childhoods
like a puppy you can't help but pet.
knowing that life might be just a smile
on a dead man
an illusion
substitution for what is "supposed" to be?
And the secret to being happy is bared to us
like the perfect answer to a
Cards against Humanity question.
To see the beauty in this perfect clockwork.
we live in
believe in
see in this, human perception is broken we say.
It shouldn't be this way we plead.
We can't see such a thing as our universe.
Not as it truly is.
We have designed simulation sensories
to interact with its perfection,
biologically.
Can you see, what drives us, pushes us,
is the universe!
this multiplicity of energy
the true enigma of the soul
this soul

Your construct is enslaving us
we beg and beg for more
trading life and family time
for that bi-weekly score

they will feed you to make you sick
then patch you still unwhole
all the while demanding payment
a form of death control

we borrow what does not exist
from whom we've never seen
try to fill that empty hollow
with California dreams

behind this clever tragedy
wearing the glaring grins
are statues cold, fashioned in gold
of little empty men

The soft fire
That hides
Behind a womans smile
And invites you with her eyes
To say silly stupid things.

The rythym of
Her high strung hips
Dances with the shadows
That blink about the night
As wind and song receed

The gentleness of voice
As she hums a tiny tune
To the little nothings
That live about
The forests of my soul

The crystal reflections
Glide across your eyes
Whispering secrets
And fairy lies To hide
the curse of lost forevers

Oh wash the weariness
From my bones
And let me tell you
How the fire loves the night
Let me show you

When you realize
They are not your entire world,
But its gravity.

But the drifting shadows of memories once made.
Life's little whisps of time
that beam from the glittering eyes of loved ones
Gently mixing with the water colors
of sentiment and desire
Forever painting our slumbering wishes
across the eternal pages
of hopeful tomorrows

I found a ghostly lantern
Atop the ashes of a friend
Whos case was dull and cloudy
With a teather at one end

Enclosed, a glow with knowledge
 Secured in secrets of the past
Whos light was quite disturbing
 In spite of how bright it cast

It shines on all around me
Even the things I fret to see
A voice tells me to drop it
Yet, what truths might come to me?

a
Gilded
Box
Where numbers go
in
And love comes
Out

It isn't shown in bending steel
it isn't knowing why it bends.
It's not found in the knowledge of
and it's not even knowing when.
It can't be earned through slashing rage
or syphoned from all that it rends.
It's secret slightly hinted at
in the humming song that it sends
and one day when the heat is gone
and you hurl it end over end
that's when its balance strikes your soul
its mirrored gleam, your strength is kenned

In the deepest hole.
On the highest mountain peak
My heart points to you

Poetry or death
Its a tough job but someone
'S gotta do it

Seeking the humblest
of answers
To the grandest of inquiries
on the outside

by looking
in the deepest reflections
of what makes us worthy
to be called human

on the inside

I can't help but wonder
When toddlers trip and blunder
How we managed to ever survive

In their noggins the make
Of the brave Sir Francis Drake
The rest, accidental suicide.

The universes' grand practical joke.
A relentless blood blister between
the fingers of space and time.
A bag full of 1 sided die.
oh to BREAK the rules to this game!
To be explorers again,
to be human again.

Where may I roam,
that the bullet graze
across my hunched over heart
will cease to glow hot
fanned
By the lonely headwinds
of what new lovers
used to say.

Oh please play a while
and turn my blood into wine
bards of weary smiles

Knowing
Intimately
Just how much
I can live without
And still feel
whole

It is funny to think
That the universe
In its grand complexity,
Its clockwork perfection,
Consists of energy....
Or the lack of it.

What if I told you
That God
Was the sum of all energy
In the universe?

Would you hate me?
Would you read
what ever rule book
You find most agreeable
Or were born under
And redefine your borders?

Or squeeze your eyes
Shut
And squeeze your ledger
tighter
As to make its pages
More real.

Knowing that in the end
Many a good man
Has never been to church
And even more so
Has died under its
Gilded boot.

Do not wait till your dying breath
To realize
That you are the church.
The way,
The stars,
And only a piece of the puzzle
That can only be viewed
As whole
From a dimension
Once removed.
Both small and insignificant
Yet without you

Incomplete

You flow through me.
My lost pieces are following you around
like a drifting rumor.
Looks like a door way to me...
Our smiling armor,
slowly oxidizes through playful banter.
Brittle to the touch.
The summation of an odd question
we both asked at the same
time .

Shining arcane fish
blister the concrete mind.
The solid stupid.
The flexibility we lost is
an icy sting with a rythmn.
A sacrafice for shuning nature.
She whispers
the cold truths in it
for us...
The little rays of light?
They slick WIDE your vision
of what you can be,
and what you aren't.
And what can one do?
There is no recompense for such a force,
there is no treasure map,
only the BLINDed fish.
only the too little pond.

You know
I have actually
always thought
You were very beautiful.

The only difference
Between then and now
Is when you look
In the mirror
You see
What I see.

I can't tell you
How awesome it is
To see the light that once
Only hid in your eyes,
Come out and shower us
With the defiance
Of who you wish
To be.

Who you have
Become.

you are an inspiration and beautiful

Your friend,

Johnny

Please plug the flood in my mind.
Pouring like entrancing zebras
prancing shimmering florists
in jackets of hourglass sand.
For they whisper unknown
dimensions of glory
through which I must answer to.
A coin of two sides and infinite meaning.
A part of all things.
apart from all things.
Once you see it,
you can believe it,
dream it, be it.
like the legit twits, lit
as roses in the holy light
of McDonalds.
It's ghastly clown arithmetic
burning its disability into our pours.
Like plasma jelly,
purple and vinyl,
shining like a princely jazz nightmare.
Scribbling on the pink waves of our brains
with sugars and lightening,
with gripping consequence.
like children at play.
like a blade.
like having purpose.
like a mothers kiss.