of the things
you used to say
but you're gone now
so why did the fear stay


-em vidar

how are you doing these days?
It seems like so much has happened
and you used to play a big part

-em vidar

Can you love me
and live in quiet moments
you lived so largely
could you be happy
with just me?


-em vidar

we thought it would be easier
time would change it
now all we have is time
and i only feel
left behind

-em vidar

You've got me
in a void
no where to see
the light


-em vidar

Chase me over the edge
fall down the rabbit hole
love the colours of my skin
born from people that I know

-em vidar

we try so hard
to follow a timeline
someone else
has decided on

-em vidar

How do you decide
what is right
when both options
aren't easy
and both result
in broken hearts


-em vidar

I'm learning
I didn't deserve
your type
of love

-em vidar

It wasn't from
lack of love
or trying
just us pretending
for too long
to be
what the other
wanted

-em vidar

The colour of your skin
masked the marks
you had left
while mine bared it all
hidden only by the
lies
I allowed myself to tell


-em vidar

We made promises
but never with the intention
of keeping them

-em vidar

I wonder
if you were looking
to be saved
the way
you always claimed
you were doing
for me

I'm sorry to all the words
we did not say
and I'm sorry to you
for saying all the useless ones
that we did

-em vidar

It was always cruel
and twisted
It was the part of love
you should live without

-em vidar

We loved in a way
even I don't understand
and we left each other
you for another
and me
to save the pieces
he hadn't broken yet

-em vidar

since we've talked
since you picked him
since my bones have healed
since I learned to love myself
since I left you
since you called me a liar
since I lost the person
I thought I'd love forever

-em vidar

I reside
in the valleys of my mind
because you exist on the ridge
ready to push me over the edge
anytime
I get too close

-em vidar

and then
we stop

-em vidar

She gives me
the appearance
of sanity
A lie
I wanted to
continue

-em vidar

Times like these
I miss you
a little more

-em vidar

I liked his unwavering
ability to have courage
and how he was more bitter
than me
for it

-em vidar

Keeps moving differently
with phases where
you exists
and better days
when you don't

-em vidar

he wanted
romantic poetry
and thats something
I'll never be

-em vidar

Tell me those lies
only I get to hear

-em vidar

I do not know why
I have to be sorry
that I
did not
fall in love

-em vidar

she needed to hear
silly little words
that would have made
everything
different

-em vidar

Do you know,
you only call me
when no one else
picks up

-em vidar

I let you take my voice again.
Even though
I had promised myself
I wouldn't.

-em vidar

I can't write anymore
because when I talk about them
I think of you
and it goes back
to when I was lost
in my own skin

-em vidar

Do you know
I like myself a little less
every time I meet you

Do you know
I hide so much of me
every time I talk to you

Do you know
I hate you a little more
every time I see you

-em vidar

When did
my dreams
drift so far
from yours

-em vidar

I don't know if it's because
we stopped caring about the truth
or if
we never told it in the first place

-em vidar

As you rack up
the body count
did it occur to you
only you cared
about it

-em vidar

I don't remember
when I needed your words
to feel whole.
I only know
now that I don't,
you've become
spiteful

-em vidar

It's funny
how I was waiting for the perfect moment
And all you had to do
was ask
for me
to tell you

-em vidar

I wonder when I became too anxious
to express my thoughts
the blatant way
that you do

-em vidar

It's a little funny
how
when I'm
insecure
you always
pull through
and manage
to make me whole
again.

-em vidar

You say it's real
but he thinks
my face
goes with your heart

-em vidar

Thank you
for welcoming me
with open arms
and tear filled eyes
as we attempted
to fill our hearts
and find who we were
and where we
were going next

-em vidar

I so desperately
wanted your love
that I thought it was what
I needed to be happy
turns out
you were only
in the way

-em vidar

I think I keep my poems short
because your words
always meant less
the more you said

-em vidar

To you,

We've just met today
for the first time
but I have to tell you
A year from now
I'll realize my feelings
for you and I hope
that you will hear
them then

Lovingly yours,

-em vidar

I think you act
the way you do
to attempt sincerity
only a broken heart could know

-em vidar

She thanked me
for teaching her
to love herself again
when the only reason
I loved myself
was because of her

-em vidar

I know you never liked poetry
that it wasn't worth your
precious time
but I have to thank you for that
because it gave me the freedom
to say how much I ******* hate you
and it helped me
with my escape
from you
and honestly
I'm ******* glad you hate poetry

-em vidar

I wonder
if you're love was real
or if I was just
a convenience


-em vidar