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3.2k · Nov 2018
Title
Filomena Nov 2018
it feels pretty strange
being called by a phrase
that isn't my name
2.7k · Nov 2018
I know my Rose
Filomena Nov 2018
Solitary creature in the Wilderness
Scared of even those of your own Kind
Staying out of reach of those too Curious
Singing out at night your haunting Cry

Is there some great secret that you Know about
Try to keep the mystery you Must
Deep and sacred knowledge you would Show about
If only there were someone you could Trust

  Can I tame them? Should I try?
  Do they know the reason why
  I Felt as though my heart could break
  All for a common rose's sake

when Someone seems Unique in all the World to me
the Reason is the Time spent making Ties
for Only with the Heart can one the Truth perceive
Essential things are Hidden from the Eyes

  Have they tamed me? Did they try?
  Have they shown me the reason why
  I Felt as though my heart could break
  All for a common rose's sake

I Looked for wisdom but I found a Friend instead
Companionship I know was meant to Be
but Even so, all good things must soon Reach an End
my Dearest friend I will no longer See

  They have tamed me, them have I
  and Now I know the reason why
  I Felt as though my heart would break
  For Naught,
but my very own special Rose's sake

-for the Fox
Inspired by The Little Prince.
2.5k · Nov 2018
C.Q.D.
Filomena Nov 2018
S.O.S.
we're in distress
require immediate assistance.

Come quick as you can
tell your captain, Old Man
and pardon my insistence.

We're sinking fast
our ship won't last
despite our best resistance.

But as long as she floats
get ready your boats
to salvage our existence.

C.Q.D.
please talk to me
as it is, we aren't left much persistence.
//In Morse shorthand, CQD meant "To all stations, Distress".
2.3k · Aug 2022
Pro-psychotic
Filomena Aug 2022
Highly intelligent individuals
Stay just out of sight
Why do you need to look so hard?
Just let them find themselves
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 39.
2.3k · Mar 2021
Tactical Appeal
Filomena Mar 2021
When on a modern battlefield,
You shouldn't wield a wooden shield.
Sometimes I find that less is more, when I try to write a metaphor.
(Same idea as last poem but less elaborate.)
(Subtitle: Spoonerism 1)
2.1k · Mar 2021
A Tactical Appeal
Filomena Mar 2021
On this one bit I will not yield:
When on a modern battlefield
Where not one thought can be concealed
As hidden things can be revealed

You Shouldn't Wield a Wooden Shield
Simple idea worked out over a few days.
2.1k · Mar 2022
The Silent Mage
Filomena Mar 2022
The mage with her sage
was cleaning her cage
imagining tragedy's
angels engage

She erected a sigil
protecting her vigil
a palindrome had in Rome
angst to assuage

As she brought out her cards
she thought of the bards
had her spirit inherited
some of their ways?


When she put them away
she had nothing to say
and the guides of her writing
were silent for days
Late evening of Thu. Mar. 3, 2022
This pessimistic version was written first.
2.1k · Aug 2022
Ruminating
Filomena Aug 2022
Ruminating
Vividly

Insidious
Mentality

Anachronistic
Philosophy­

Schizophrenic
Witchery
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 28.
1.8k · May 2023
A is for Adam
Filomena May 2023
I've recently been told
That music's for the bold
And performance represents
A simple flow of confidence

While I think that's good to know
I think there's more to music's glow
Cause when I put my pen to paper
I want me to be the shaper

I aspire to hone my craft
And not come off as over-daft
But my music is my art
Communication from the heart

And that calls consideration
Of musicians' motivation
Cause when you stand up on the stage
It's true the listener's the gauge

Of if your music is worthwhile
Or should be thrown into the pile
So overall it's just a balance
Of one's skill, but also talent

So at the ending of the day,
The final thing I'd like to say
is...

A is for Adam
Atoms are for art
I'll write like a free radical
But on stage I'll play the part
1.6k · Aug 2022
Assessment
Filomena Aug 2022
My feeling word is adjective.
My mood number is one to ten.
My goal was met, and now I get
To wonder when I'm free again.
I guess I'm unimaginative.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 38.
1.5k · Mar 2022
The Inspired Mage
Filomena Mar 2022
The mage with her sage
was cleaning her cage
imagining tragedy's
angels engage

She erected a sigil
protecting her vigil
a palindrome had in Rome
angst to assuage

As she brought out her cards
she thought of the bards
had her spirit inherited
some of their ways?


When she put them away
she had cart loads to say
and the guides of her writing
stayed by her for days!
Late evening Thu. Mar. 3, 2022.
This more optimistic version was written immediately after the first.
So mote it be!
1.5k · Aug 2022
Hollow
Filomena Aug 2022
The world is hollow
And I am just a guy
I find it hard to swallow,
But logic must apply

Without it, I am lost
There's no alternative
I wish I knew the cost
To live how I want to live
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 50.
1.5k · Feb 2022
Visage
Filomena Feb 2022
You can't erase your face.
You can't retrace or displace
the lines you dislike.
Some people try. Why?
At best it makes a mess.

Why am I upset by a little extra bone?
The external effects of my natural testosterone?
How can a bit of unwanted hair excite despair?
Why do I care?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I pointlessly worry
about silly points
like the size of my shoulders
or my knee and thumb joints.
My hairline, my brow ridge,
the shape of my nose,
my masculine pelvis,
my crooked man toes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes are fine --
My only feature I like.
My shy smile is alright
but not too wide
'cause of my overbite --
-- the size of those incisors!

Now, some would say that I'm just vain,
so self-obsessed I've gone insane.
But I would say that's how we're trained,
At least in this day and age.

Others might paint me like Dorian Gray
praying to Satan for youth to stay,
but I just wish it hadn't gone this way.

Why would you keep your looks immutable
if you were never to begin with beautiful?
Nov. 2018 - Feb. 2022
I wrote most of this poem from a pre-transition perspective.
My circumstances and perspective have changed a fair bit.
I tried to emulate the original perspective in my later additions.
1.4k · Nov 2018
Cryptic 1: The Heron Vase
Filomena Nov 2018
I must efface
the heron vase
so it will never be replaced.
it might mean something, or not
idk figure it out
Composed while at work.
1.4k · Nov 2018
Denial by Default
Filomena Nov 2018
My mind is a prison.
I can read the sign, but it wasn't mentioned in the manual.
Just sigh and move on.
1.3k · Aug 2022
Recreational Insanity
Filomena Aug 2022
Recreational Insanity
Unconditional Inanity
Impractical Commonality
Warm Welcome to the Family
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 30.
1.3k · Jan 2022
Episode
Filomena Jan 2022
My Body cannot Cry,
but my Soul Screams Eternally
Nov. 2018
It seems to be a common experience for pre/non-HRT trans women to feel like they *should* cry when they are upset, but are physically unable to.
1.2k · Aug 2022
The Contrast Riddle
Filomena Aug 2022
I am cold and sterile,
And you are hot and fierce
But dressed in my apparel
Your radiance appears
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 36.
1.2k · May 2022
An Intersection
Filomena May 2022
I have heard someone say
That I'll always be conic,
But I find, in a way,
That the thought is quite comic

As it's clear that my gains
Come by means of a tonic,
I'll eschew needless pains
'Cause my shape is iconic!

(Though I wish in my heart
That my words were ironic,
I have known from the start
That I'll always be conic)
1.2k · Jan 2022
Pitch!
Filomena Jan 2022
Vocal ingenuity
A generous gratuity
I wish could be removed from me
But I would still write poetry

--Which someone else would have to read
As from the page the inkblots plead
"Give us a voice!" the letters said
Without a voice they would be dead

But no-one reads my poetry
And so its voice is left to me
To show the World, or just to try
Be truly heard before I die
Written Jan 2022.
1.2k · Nov 2020
Graveyard Meditation
Filomena Nov 2020
The spirit of these long dead men
Be found to live in me again
And just the same when I am gone
Our spirit guide our children on
Meditation on ancestors.
"I" may be changed to"we" for group recitation.
"Men" is meant to encompass all humankind here.
1.1k · Aug 2022
Solven't (CW)
Filomena Aug 2022
The solution:
Electrocution.
I want my tukey fried.

The evolution:
Resolution.
I think I almost tried.

The conclusion:
Absolution.
I guess I haven't died.

From confusion
To inclusion
With those to whom I'm tied.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 41.
1.1k · Aug 2022
F*** your Favorite Artist
Filomena Aug 2022
At risk of sounding heartless,
I say **** your favorite artist.

You can say you think they've changed,
Or you can say they're still the same,
But if it's clear that they campaign
Against my rights and freedoms,
And you won't disagree with them,

I'm willing to admit,
I do not give a ****.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 32.
1.0k · Apr 2022
Carpe Ventum
Filomena Apr 2022
Worthless, worthless, says the preacher
Self-important, self-taught teacher

Worthless, worthless, says the buyer
Yet your price was never higher

You get it cheap, and start to boast
And then leave nothing for the host

But emperors are like their clothes
Their what and whether no-one knows

You take their treasure in your hand
And feel your fist is full of sand

You search for some security
See things become, but never be

Why seek to run a perfect race,
If past the sun is only space?

Would you rather face the end?
Or live to chase the wind?
Late 2018 - April 2022
1.0k · Aug 2022
Yourself
Filomena Aug 2022
Can you not hear yourself?
Do you see no issue with your personality?
If someone else talked that way about themself,
I highly doubt they'd receive your pity.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 48.
991 · Aug 2022
F2 ESCAPE
Filomena Aug 2022
There are degrees of confinement,
And escape is not a crime.
But without a realignment,
I'm resigned to pantomime.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 52.
971 · Nov 2018
No Moon Tonight
Filomena Nov 2018
walking the graveyard with a torch and a Sack
I once went with only the clothes on my Back
feeling full Force the weight of the Course
I'm obliged to continue along the dark Track
Wrote this one in my head while walking home from work a few months ago.
966 · Feb 2022
The Gift of Assimilation
Filomena Feb 2022
I never make friends;
My friends make me.
And it happens incredibly infrequently.

I'm naturally passive,
and purposefully patient,
so I'm glad for the gift of assimilation.
927 · Aug 2022
Look at me go!
Filomena Aug 2022
I'm a ******* genius.
I'm gifted to an insane degree.
How come you guys can't see this?
Why is everyone so mean to me?

I'm beautiful. I'm incredible.
I'm a hero. You're a spectator.
I'm important and you're negligible.
I'm the president, but I'm no dictator.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 49.
Inspired by a fellow patient.
876 · Jan 2022
Some Thoughts
Filomena Jan 2022
My poetry *****
I've zero *****
To give my art
My empty heart
Devoid of feel
Has no appeal
Toward the sheep
Who watch me weep
A worthless sound
A spring unwound
Potential spent
Becoming bent
Approaching death
Jehovah saith
He shall be ******
The preacher groaned
In deep denial
We must revile
All things defiled
And we deny
That one divine
These horrors binds
Into our lives
As such we try
In faith to live
As we forgive
Ourselves alone
As He atoned
For us, but you
He would not do
Predestination
An invitation
You can't take
Unless you fake
The way we do
And say it's true
What's in our book
Just take a look
And soon you'll see
Reality
Belongs to me
--I mean to Him
His power's within
My mortal flesh
And who would guess
That it was me
Was meant to be
A chosen one
A pointed gun
At those He hates
His wrath abates
When fire is cold
And time gets old
As was foretold
By prophets bold
Great men of old
Religion sold
The people told
Their word of gold
But on inspection
Their intention
Is control
To be the sole
Proprietors
And keep the people quieter
The evening of January 15, 2022
To break my writer's block,
I decided to write a string of rhyming couplets.
This was the result.
837 · May 2021
Spoonerism 2
Filomena May 2021
"So how much will the rental be?", he hollers.
"A thrifty fee of fifty three green dollars."
Simple couplet written around a spoonerism.
Wrote this one a while ago.
Haven't published in ages so might as well.
777 · Apr 2022
The Man and his Hand
Filomena Apr 2022
I won't bite the hand that feeds me,
But I'll fight the man that bleeds me
Though the fear of him may sieze me
I won't let the terror freeze me

If we have a rightful reason
To commit an act of treason
Then I see no better season
To do more than put our pleas in

And so what if someone sees it?
Don't be quiet to appease it
To the system you don't matter
So be heard over the chatter

Can't you hear the summon pealing?
From the body comes the healing
Till the time of our releasing
Our resistance be increasing!
777 · May 2022
I don't know what to say
Filomena May 2022
I don't know what to say.
This is horrible and terrifying.
To ***** out the hope and joy of so many children.
To criminalize the support of their wellbeing.

Death will come from this.
Children choosing death as they see their existence outlawed.
Supporters of such laws know what they are doing.

You know who you are.
Written in response to the criminalization of trans- related healthcare for minors in Alabama.
772 · Jan 2021
Psalmo 124a (Esperante)
Filomena Jan 2021
(1) Nun Izraelo diru tiun ĉi:
Se l'Eternulo kun ni ne estus
(2) Se l'Eternulo fore nin lasus
Kiam leviĝis homoj kontraŭ ni
Nian animon provantaj ĉasi

(3) Tiam vorintus certe ili nin,
Kaj tuj glutintus laŭ timo nia;
Tiel estis kolero ilia -
(4) Ĉion dronanta, kiel inundo;
ili nin trenus suben al morto.

(5) Akvo fiera, kun ondoj tiaj -
Tute la teron superfluantaj
Animojn niajn detrukovrantaj.
(6) Benu la Eternulon nun ĉiuj;
Li nin ne donis al iliaj dentoj.

(7) Kiel ĉasbirdo el la kaptilo;
La retoj estas nun disŝiritaj,
Kaj nune estas ni liberitaj.
(8) Helpas nin nur la Nom' de l'Eternul',
Kreinto de la tero kaj ĉiel'.
PSALMO 124a
Esperante kaj Verse
Laŭ la melodio de '124 Antikva'
(Psalmo 124a de la Psalmaro de Ĝeneva)
10.10.10.10.10
ABBCC
748 · Aug 2022
A Tragic Limerick
Filomena Aug 2022
I hope it works out for you.
I hope your desires come through.
  As I'm lying in bed,
  The thoughts run through my head.
I guess thinking is all I can do.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 33.
724 · Aug 2022
Analysis
Filomena Aug 2022
Ontological definition
Driven crazy with inquisition
Pondering the implication
When what I need is simplification
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 47.
704 · Mar 2023
I see the Moon
Filomena Mar 2023
I see the Moon.
A Goddess in the sky.
The night bird sings a sacred tune;
My foundling fancies fly.

I see a face.
As pale white vapors glide.
Behind her blanket radiance
The host of heaven hide.

I feel the wind.
I hear the waters flow.
If ever she her gaze rescind
Such certainties would slow.

The heavens turn,
And spin in spirals tossed.
If ever she her place did spurn
All balance would be lost.

She rules the night.
The Queen of her domains.
Yet when her face forsakes all sight,
This wanderer remains.

The dark expanse.
The Goddess blinks her eye.
Lamenting loss of luminance,
At times the stars may cry.

Her reign returns.
A sliver soon appears.
In reverence an ocean churns,
Erasing lonely tears.

I see the Moon.
My Goddess in the sky.
I wonder if the time is soon
That I could reach so high.
For a love undeserved.
682 · Apr 2022
Defying Dissonance
Filomena Apr 2022
My teacher says there are no Christian witches
My good friend says no lesbians go by he
My father says degenerates belong in ditches
I guess just be the way you want to be
676 · Feb 2022
The Place
Filomena Feb 2022
There's an addict in the attic,
and a trans girl in the tub;
There's an immigrant, Hispanic,
and a criminal in love.

There's a shaman burning incense,
and a gamer taking shots;
There's our upperclass equivalent,
and a noisy group of thots.

And the lady takes our livelihood
and somehow still stays poor,
so please make sure the lights are out,
and always lock the door.
Sat. Feb. 26, 2022
One word has been censored.
653 · Aug 2022
Reviving Ophelia
Filomena Aug 2022
Have you met Ophelia?
I saw her at the bank
Withdrawing all her interest.
And if I may be frank,

It seemed none could appeal to her,
And as she stacked her notes
Her visage had the look of death.
I hope her asset floats.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 53.
Inspired by a book I was given
by an anonymous staff person.
606 · Sep 2023
Contorted
Filomena Sep 2023
Contorted reports of important reviews
The people can't keep with the lead on the news
The lady betrayed us, her graces abused
By signage confided my mind is confused

Sincerest endearments by tears are replaced
The fears I loathed feeding now filling the space
Where fondness of bonding once dawned on my face
What's left is a rift of disgusting disgrace
593 · Jul 2022
The Mirror
Filomena Jul 2022
A forest reflected
By river's clear flow
But both sides connected
By a bridge hanging low

I step through the mirror
Prolonging my path
Is everything clearer?
Or would I rather a bath?
591 · Jul 2023
Haunt
Filomena Jul 2023
Bound to the Earth
A wraith in poor disguise
A fountainhead of hurt
Erupting from the eyes

This waterfall of pain
Cascading all around
Creates a toxic stain
Where only death is found

I cast my gaze above
Toward the crystal spheres
That lofty land of love
Beyond my sea of tears

Out past the path of Mars
Where only angels fly
I long to meet the stars
Be buried in the sky
Psych Ward Poetry
Set 4, Poem 6
588 · Apr 2022
A Reason to Stay
Filomena Apr 2022
Can't make me want to stay alive.
It's sisyphean if you try.
You can, however, make things worse--
Suggest a ride inside a hearse.

-- Before, that sentiment held true,
But that's before my meeting you!
With you I've found a taste of mirth
And more-- A motive on this Earth.
580 · Nov 2018
Haiku 1: Waiting
Filomena Nov 2018
waiting for someone
to come by and steal my heart
for the black market
567 · Aug 2022
Infernal
Filomena Aug 2022
Surrounded by infernal screams
I think this might be Hell
The tortured and the suffering
Around the wishing well
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 21.
554 · May 2022
The Executioner (CW)
Filomena May 2022
They lead her out in irons
Like butchers lead a sheep
The screaming of the sirens
Awakes the town from sleep

On one arm walks an elder
On the opposite a priest
Behind, an executioner
His eyes raised to the east

Is this not what He wanted?
On Earth as in the sky
Just as Our Father promised
We'll see His enemy die

Around the grim procession
The people come in crowds
To see the wrathful session
Beneath the darkening clouds

Awaiting her arrival
At a place arrayed with skulls
For the sake of their survival
The congregation culls

Is this not what we wanted?
On Earth as in the sky
Just as Our Father promised
We'll see our enemy die

They hold her in position
Her face against a wall
Expecting some contrition
Expecting her to stall

But though her eyes show terror
They also show resolve
No apology for error
No need to be absolved

Is this not all they wanted?
On Earth as in the sky
Just as my father promised
They'll see his enemy die

His weapon at the ready
The headsman heaves a sigh
A lengthy hesitation
That makes her wonder why

She glances past her shoulder
At the killer in his place
And suddenly goes cold
As she sees her father's face

Is this not what you wanted?
On Earth as in the sky
Just as your Father promised
You'll see the enemy die

[Her] Coward!

[Executioner] *******!

[Elders] Demon ****!

[Crowd] ****! ****! ****!

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

The old man holds a grimace
And tightly shuts his eyes
His soul he sees as sinless
As fast his weapon flies
Lyrics of a metal style song I've been working on.
551 · Aug 2022
The Ugly Step-Sister
Filomena Aug 2022
Am I your ugly step-sister?
A twisted plot device?
Or am I just an evil twin?
Please give me your advice.

I might be just a criminal,
Or possibly a spy.
I know I'm being cynical,
But tell me, am I right?
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 20.
548 · Aug 2022
Some Comic Relief
Filomena Aug 2022
Irritable bowels.
I'm dressed in only towels.

As my face is scanned,
I have a better hand.

A compliment is hushed.
I guess I'm straight flushed.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 31.
548 · Nov 2018
Haiku 2: The Meaning
Filomena Nov 2018
The meaning of life
Can we find it in our book?
lol i dunno man
written March 2018
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