If I could restructure this pain
To make it look beautiful
I'd spend an eternity doing so

I promise you that we will make love
On a bed full of philosophy books
So that the depth of our hunger
Matches the depth of our thinking

Every press of my nail upon your flesh
Will have you question your existence
You'll feel more alive with every thought
Then you will understand Rene Descartes

Our smoldering bodies radiating pleasure
Will have you disregard the material world
This passion will posses the highest reality
Then you'll understand Plato's forms

Amidst my guidance toward your ******
You will hold values and aspirations close
And form your most perfect self with me
Then you'll understand Friedrich Nietzsche

On this bed full of marvelous thoughts
We will lay tangled exhausted overjoyed
For our love our lust and our everything
Will have the immensity of philosophy itself

I will always be the slippery *****
               they warn you not to go down
         I am the clutter in your closet
                           they ask you to clean out
                Forever the reason you look
                              both ways before crossing

They say I am not right for you
         But I want to be your happiness
              The world sees me rotten
                         I wish for you to help me
                  Paint the world with color
                        So we may prove them wrong

Hold me as I silently sob
Rob me of my loneliness
Caress my empty flesh
Mesh your heart with mine
Dine on the small of my back
Lack in love as I also do
Glue our pain together
Forever we grow cold

I can't understand how everyone sees
Clear blue skies at which they wish to gaze
Under its trance and relax wasting the day
I can only see sapphire skies seducing
The clouds to willingly depart the day
And I need to rush to get up and run
To love and to conquer and live
So that I may come back and sing for all
A few lullabies to console your longing
For the hopes and dreams that you couldn't
Follow while you were staring at the sky

I refuse to lay around with all the rest
Viewing serene blue skies and conjuring up
Endless dreams and make believes
Because all I see are sapphire skies
Burning the time in a day with intensity
Melting away my dreams simultaneously
I must rush out into the world and experience
And accomplish the aspirations I had
Then I can return and sing lullabies
About all the beautiful things I remember
So that you can end your sobs
When you think of all the time you wasted

You see blue skies and day dream
I see sapphire skies and act and react
My lullabies will speak of the journey
The destination and the reward
Your state of dreaming will be
Manipulated by your remorse

Baby don't run and hide
Just sit a while by my side
Say anything you can
Talk about what a vile human I am
I'll listen just to hear the sound
Of the only beautiful thing I found

Speak of how you want me to die
For god only knows I often try
But I remember what I'd miss
Like spending time with you like this
I've made mistakes time and time again
Yet your heart I've managed to obtain

Maybe we can begin to reminisce
And I'll lean in for a weary kiss
You and I know I can't behave
Our relationship I seek to save
Let's press more on this issue
So the sound of your voice can continue

Stare intently as I speak of my hell
And I'll apologize for how you fell
For me long ago and into my arm tonight
Your body beside me what a beautiful sight
I know I'm toxic and this is contagious
But my love for you is outrageous

Please let's stay like this for a while
Accuse me and put me on trial
You know how I can deceive
Rules and regulations I'm willing to receive
Just to have enough time to finally say
That from you I'll never stray

I carry the
cruelty of Winter

Bleeds through all
of the seasons

Stops at your
heated Summer lips

My frostbitten lips
fear a kiss

The cold follows
with no reasons

Warm shivery sensation
like a splinter

On my mind
At the thought

Of both seasons
Meeting at once

Beauty is fleeting
It's very misleading
Expectations never meeting
Forceful in greeting
Her heart I'm seeking
She says she's needing
Room for her breathing
Made her my everything
But she's always leaving
She just isn't seeing
The friend I'm being
I'm left here bleeding

She seeks God in the river where she drowned him
The same one she once tried to cleanse her soul in

Her heart listens to hymns sung by her petrified flesh
While her lovers' lips set the pace of her forgotten faith

She is lost

Heaven is around her
If she only knew just how beautiful she was
Maybe she would've never felt like a blur
If she only knew just how sorry I was
Maybe then she would live again
Instead I wallow in all things we could've been
I can't live like this

Maybe they'll excavate underneath my temple
To find the beauty lying beneath the destruction that life has left
Let my worshippers know that I forgive them
For when they pillaged my temple they set me free

We lived so long
thinking you were
the body of my thoughts

The beauty mark that I
Loved and saw
As the best part of me

But you were malignant
When I showed you
In the light to the world

I turned you into
An ordinary freckle
That I wear upon my body

The day I decided
You'd be nothing more
Than a blemish in my memory

I can't stop it
I can't bear it
The monster comes to knock
I can't feel it
I can't shake it
The monster leaves me in shell shock
I want to think it
I want to write it
The moster watches me like a hawk
**** you writers block

I was once aching flesh
On worn down bones
Encaging a restless heart

You were the cure
The ailment
You were everything

The night dips, crawls and falls at my feet
Hisses and rumbles as my attention it seek
I attempt to ignore it for I wish to behave
To uphold the morals my parents engrave
The night sprinkles white powder upon me
To try and wake me so with it I may flee
It casts a dark cloud just above my head
Tastes of whiskey and shame from which I was bred
Reminds me of the insatiable thirst I miss
Of flesh smoldering upon flesh with a kiss
The night tempts me to come out and play
But I want to be good so I elude it and stay

If *** was the answer to all of my pain
Your lips on my skin I'd never refrain
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
Your every touch would drive me insane
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
I'd get lost in your body again and again
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
The beast inside me you'd never restrain
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
The swirl of darkness would cease in my brain

My soul has started a rebellion
Against all the things I know
Because I laid eyes on you
My heart was dormant for ages
Now every fiber in my body
Rages inside until I lose myself
And decide to never live without you

There's a method to this game I've developed in my head
In how I glance over to you
The sly smile that possesses my lips
There's a method that I've developed to get you in my bed
Our lips meet in intervals short and few
Close proximity allows for the grind of my hips
There's a method to the way I've protected myself from the feelings I dread
In the way that I fake the "i love you"
Your body heat numbs me as my heart rips
There's a method I've developed for this soul that's dead

I was nothing but dwindling fragile strands
Hopelessly intertwining every bit of me
Around your heart
To pull you out of the vast darkness
That you were planning to drown in

In all the lives we've met and in all of them we fall in love
this kismet adoration has created a knot in time
no matter the bodies our souls inhabit
we will find one another and love
and love
and love
and love eachother every time we meet
the era we're in or the life we live will not matter
we will find one another like a recurring dream
happening every time our bodies seek rest
every time our minds seek peace
for every instance we are apart
our incessant hearts will cry
cry so loudly each time we lose one another
their cries will continue on until heaven hears this echo of foreverness and does this feeling justice
allowing for us to love freely and to love whole heartedly and to love
and love
and love
and love to the point where time becomes insignificant
because the seconds no longer look forward to being witness to the hours
they will beg to become witness to our love
and love
and love
and love everlasting

My heart was found guilty
Of witchcraft by my brain
He dragged her and beat her
Spewed his hatred for her
Tied her to a wooden stake

My brain couldn't comprehend
The magic of my heart
Why she never wavered
How she always loved
He started this persecution
Because he couldn't understand

I always felt her growing
Beautifully and powerfully
With every beat she won me over
All I did was want to protect her
But my brain called it heresy

My punishment was to watch
As he burned her alive
I heard the shrieks of hope die
The smell of her love stung
My nostrils and it haunts me still

I walk around pretending
As if nothing had ever happened
My brain condemned me to live
This life without my heart
Without the love and only
With the memory of that night

Every day I burn like she did
As every day I hate like he did
I was unable to convince him
That she just wanted to love
But my brain was too afraid
Of the powers of my heart

They lied to me when they said that sticks and stones break bones but words don't hurt

I found that your words have branched and rooted within every splinter in my bones and the ache is nagging and constant

It's the guilt your words caused that weigh like boulders on my shoulders and every step causes a new fracture

Sticks and stones don't break bones but the weight of your words have crushed me

I whisper 'i love you'
With a deafening silence
I caress every inch of your body
In my mind every minute of every day
But you turn away and nestle against
The one you chose to spend forever with
You and I both know you're not in love
But It's quiet there
It's safe
You're comfortable
While I, I am left with this love
Gnawing at my stubborn heart
I lay every night rapidly combusting
Wishing for the burning to end
So that the ashes that do remain
Will blow away, travel with a gust of wind
And settle upon
Your soft, conforming skin
Then you and I will finally become one
As you always promised we would

To Love,
You've made me humble
With every ounce you fill me with
Because of you I stumble
While I incessantly search for more of you
I'm left here to tremble
Without your presence it's so cold
Sincerely,
Your biggest admirer

Love is my nemesis
Shape shifts into another
Leaves me battered and frail
I try to fight but why bother
Love will always prevail
I enjoy all forms of this
Let us rise and hail
My persistent nemesis

I'm too tired and too weak
From carrying all these worries
About things that may go wrong
Or things that never happened at all
I only have the will to take steady steps
Because my conquered failures hold me up

I'm too tired and too weak
I've lost my will to even breathe
Due to all the useless talking I do
And the inhaling of nothing I retain
I only now have the will to exhale
All the sweet moans I've swallowed whole

I'm too tired and too weak
To find the will to live the mundane
And excite flames from ashes as before
Or feed from the dull light in the dark
I only now continue this tired heartbeat
Because someone out there is feeding it life

An ocean of thoughts
My lonely ship sail
Collide with the iceberg
It is so you
So sharp and so cold
Wrap my metal around
The heaviness of us both
Rusted and old
Meets new and bold
Contrast is tragic and beautiful
We were brought here by waves
To crash to sink and to fail
Let us submerge together

She will cry often and alone
Failure is inevitable
Pretending her heart is of stone
She will cry often and alone
To feeling loved she is not prone
Beauty so impeccable
She will cry often and alone
Failure is inevitable

Seeing your face is a constant reminder of my greatest fear:
To love endlessly without expectation
And receiving it fruitfully without apprehension

I desire to explore your land
Sweep through with only my hand
It's this unquenchable yearning
In my core uncontrollable burning
Devour me with your gaze
Lips meet lips set me ablaze
Calm me as you cave my walls
Increase my high as this night falls

I can count by twos or i can count by tens
But i think we'd all be gone by then
I can brush away every strand of hair
But we find ourselves struggling for air
I can close the gap between us with a kiss
But you are still not the one I miss

I can count by twos or I can count by tens
But I'm sure you would have left again
I can beg and plead to get you back
But it's easier to have you pack
I can pinpoint the changes I should've made
But necessary attention to you I never paid

I can count by twos or I can count by tens
But I'd rather not think of the who or when
I can say something to make you believe me
But I'll never get over how my true love deceived me
I can promise to make this relationship grow
But you know I just want you to go

A pin drops in the middle of Time Square
but no one can hear it
A grain of sand shimmers in the desert
but no one is there to see it
I am by your side hopelessly in love with you
but you don't feel it
So the earth turns like it always does
The seasons move along as scheduled
And those three things go forever unnoticed

I finish tearing the seams which lie
When they say you'll never be mine
You tear the stitching in the sky
As your body prepares for pleasure to dine
The pitch in your voice becomes high
As my fingers move down your spine
Weakened when against my ear you sigh
Let us blur and erase our cautious line
Bathe in this feeling and never ask why