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Dec 2017 · 312
Amber Rush Dec 2017
I’ve been needing rescued since you left me drowning in your lies
You mtade me feel whole and left me felt shattered
I was loved and I was cheated
I felt like everything and now I feel nothing
Oct 2016 · 327
let the past go
Amber Rush Oct 2016
These nightmares don't do me any justice
Is this all an illusion
Am I loosing my mind
Miley Cyrus once told me it's all about the climb.
There's always going to be an obstacle in your way
But you need to realize you can try harder everyday
The past is trying to make its present
Stop now
Let that door close
Or you might loose
The future
Oct 2016 · 548
That effect
Amber Rush Oct 2016
You make me feel like the stars turning into constellations.
Aug 2016 · 693
Two sense.
Amber Rush Aug 2016
I don't tell you how I feel
Because you show me how you feel everytime I give my two sense.
I can't be blunt because then I'm not being Amber
Being Amber is letting others walk over my path
Not standing up rather just sitting down
Being Amber is being able to swallow someone else's criticism but not being able to spit out my own without starting  a war.
I have thoughts and feelings too
I hide behind them
Because if I were to speak
I'd become the bully.
Because it's not the Amber thing to do.
Jul 2016 · 285
Amber Rush Jul 2016
My stomach is empty
But I can still fill the butterflies
That have now become bees
Jun 2016 · 279
Memorial Day
Amber Rush Jun 2016
They may be gone but never forgotten. The memories we have, we hold so tight. Death was not easy, nor was their fight. In heaven above they watch as we grow, we all love them so much and I know that they know, for they love us all the same,  they want us to cherish the time we had and let go of the pain.
Apr 2016 · 556
Tables turn
Amber Rush Apr 2016
Walked on many
More like walked on by one
Never even seen the damage that's been done.

I look back on time and time again
This time it's my turn to win
not some angelic Saint anymore
More like a ***** hear me roar

Sarcasm is my game and I play it hard
Lets do some magic show me your cards
Little miss nice girl has done her thing
Looks like some things are meant to change
Apr 2016 · 518
Running away
Amber Rush Apr 2016
Running is suppose to make you feel free
Unless you're running from the law
You're free until they catch you
Nov 2015 · 343
I won't
Amber Rush Nov 2015
I won’t be here forever and until then you’ll pretend you don’t care. But when I leave, you will realize why the name hurricanes after people. You will realize that I was the ocean and you are a sandcastle swept away by the sea. You’ll realize I was the best disaster that knocked you to the ground. You’ll understand that weird feeling you got when I was around wasn’t guilt. It was the wind being knocked out of you, and you’ve never felt the same way since. You’ll finally realize that lying on the ground, unable to breathe was the happiest you ever were. You’ll see that I was the sun and you are the moon and together we made a beautiful eclipse. And when you realize that, I’ll be gone. And it’ll be too late.
Amber Rush Nov 2015
First I would like to thank everyone for being here today to pay his or her respects to my grandfather Robert Sohm. He would be pleased to see so many of his friends and family here today. Whether you knew him as a husband, father, grandfather, or friend, you probably had the same level of appreciation for him that I did.I would sincerely like to thank all of you on behalf of our family.  While we know that Grandpa is deeply deserving of the love you’ve shown, the outpouring of support we’ve received in recent months, weeks, and days has been truly overwhelming

He  lived a full life and had four amazing children and Seven grandchildren one being myself

His wife Pat is a great women. My Grandpa and Grandma were the ideal team.  I’ve often thought of them as the original power couple.  They were inseparable, and took care of each other for 50 years.
She is a huge part of our family and I hope she knows that we will always be here for her. Sometimes I’d wonder how either of them would ever manage should one go before the other, but over the past few days I’ve come to realize and appreciate that many of you will help take care of my Grandma through the tough times to come.  I know she is in good hands.
I know I'm not alone when I say we are always here for you and we love you
and respect you so much. If you ever need anything please do not forget that.

My Grandpa might not be a super hero, but he's my hero.
He's a soldier who had to conquer many battles in his life.
He's a fighter and someone who loved with all of his heart.
He's the "claw", and a best bud
Someone who may not function like everybody else but is able to bluntly tell it like it is and go the extra long mile to get stuff done one handedly
I wanted him to be the one who walked me down the aisle on my big day.
God has made other arrangements for him.
It's hard loosing someone who's your fatherly figure,

He was a caring person but he knew how to stand up for what he believed in and I think everyone here has a good memory of grandpa that they could share. I think we have all had a piece of us taken away but we can rest easy knowing he is in a much better place. My grandpa was a great man. When I think about him the words that come to mind are: my best bud , the claw, caring, humorous,  storyteller, and family man. These are just a few words that come to mind, but it is impossible to summarize how great a person he was in words.

He was a shoulder to lean on, a friend to rely on, and a rock for our whole family. I think about family values and how they aren’t the most important thing to people anymore. My family has always been close and always stuck together. My grandpa's pride and joy was his family.

My earliest memories of time spent with my grandfather are living at and visiting his house when me and my sister were kids. We would hide in the back room and wait for him then sneak out when we thought the coast was clear and he would come chase us pretending to be the claw.

He might have been stern with us, but Grandpa loved us kids. Family brought joy to his life — and he brought joy to us, in his own, sometimes grumpy, way.

We say that he has gone to a better place — but Grandpa will never truly be gone. He is always with each of us who loved him. It is not for us to think of him as if he was lost from our lives, but rather that we continue forth with him as our companion, celebrating and honoring his life. So I’ll think of him with every class that I take because I knew how much he wanted to see me graduate. Remember how he use to always say how someone wasn't so bright, always making sure I have a jacket when it's cold  yet be the one outside on the deck tanning when it's hot and him betting for football games. I'll always remember how much he loved going to Vegas and seeing his favorite saxophone player Carl. I will Be comforted in the memory of his smile… He’ll be in the small things and the quiet moments, forever by my side. I will miss my Grandpa, and will always be grateful for the time and warm memories I have of him.

We little knew that day,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death, we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Where you were once my sunshine you are now my stars
Nov 2015 · 1.1k
I needed you
Amber Rush Nov 2015
Where are you when I need you?
where am I when you need me?
I'm already 5 seconds ahead of you
But you're no where in sight
Nov 2015 · 858
Amber Rush Nov 2015
I'm not ready to say goodbye
I'm not ready to watch him die
I'm not ready to hear I surrender and amazing grace flood my ears and fill my eyes
I'm not ready to go buy a black dress, wear to church, look my best
I need to add waterproof makeup to my list
I don't want to stain grandpas cheek with one last kiss
I'm scared, I'm crying
I'm loosing you, but a part of me is dying
I'm having flashbacks from when we played "the claw"
I see me and Allie hiding behind our door as you lurk in the hall
I see you thumbs up me every time I leave
I don't want you to go yet I'm not ready to grieve
I'm losing my best bud, "big fat moose", "your not so bright "
It's okay grandpa, you've fought your fight
I'm having a really rough week.
My grandpa is about to pass away, next week or even sooner will be his last. He's my favorite person and I've been at the hospital everyday. I cry on my own and write to let it all out. Since I was little we've called each other best buds, and we have such a good relationship, I lived with my grandparents for a while when I was younger and I've always just been super close with them. So this really hits me hard and I'm scared. Bad things happen to people, and now it's happening to me, and for once I need someone, I need support, I need hugs that I can hold tight to and be able to cry it all out.
Nov 2015 · 605
Calling out
Amber Rush Nov 2015
I need a shoulder, or two.
I'm crying my eyes out and I don't know what to do.
I'm scared, not ready
I need you
I'm screaming on the inside
I don't know how to deal
Is this a dream I wish this wasn't real
I have to be strong I need to be strong
It's what I've been doing for so long
I see that death is real it's not a joke
I hate that others call it quits before it truly begins
I'm a first hand witness of the true voyage of death and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone
I'm struggling
I Amber, actually struggle would you look at that
I'm scared
I'm confused
I'm nauseous
I need you
I need someone
Nov 2015 · 274
one line
Amber Rush Nov 2015
My mama don't like you and she likes everyone.
Nov 2015 · 2.6k
Best buds
Amber Rush Nov 2015
My Grandpa might not be a super hero, but he's my hero.
He's a soldier who's had to conquer many battles
He's a fighter and someone who loves with all
of his heart.
He's the "claw", and a best bud
Someone who may not function like everybody else but is able to bluntly tell it like it is.
I wanted him to be the one who walked me down the aisle on my big day.
God has made other arrangements for him.
It's hard loosing someone who's your fatherly figure, who stepped up when no one else would
I sit alone crying, thinking, hoping, praying.
My heart is so heavy and I don't know what to do or who to turn to.
I was 10 at my last funeral.
I'm now 21, I'm scared to face death, have it look me in the eyes like everything will be okay.
To sit in a crowd of black; I'm not ready for those things.
He's  my best bud, my claw, the one who tells
me he wants to see me graduate.
My motivation for success.
I'm crying now, and I just need saved.
Please save me, hold me tight, tell me it's okay.
I really wish God would let him stay.
Oct 2015 · 461
To you
Amber Rush Oct 2015
He tells me to be patient you see but I'm lacking in that subject field
I'm just a girl with so much time and effort I hand out like its nothing
Hope floats at this point
While his lips hide behind his luminous joint
Like a plague you caught a hold of me and as my death wish I'd never let you go
You're friendship has all the time to grow
I hate knowing the thing that makes you unhappy are your own thoughts
With such a beautiful mind and a blackened heart
You haven't lost the race you just forgot how to start
I hope you find the happiness you've been pretending to have
I use to hope that happiness could be me
I hope one day you choose to live rather than to die
Because just like that you'd be gone in a blink of an eye
You're my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye, but if you ever choose to go id write your eulogy but I can't promise I won't cry
I'd mention you have the type of eyes you could look at for hours and still hear every last bit of a conversation
I'd mention your smile that's strangely contagious even more so your laugh
I'd mention how you'd always say focus up lets go as your hand moves to every word you say
I'd share how lucky a girl like me was to like a guy like you learning to like someone from the inside out, and how you're the first person I want to tell everything first to without a doubt
You've been some type of blessing and some type of curse, I hope one day it's not late enough; you figure out what you're worth

Oct 2015 · 596
Amber Rush Oct 2015
You're like a star that feels too far fetched to grab.
You're like the Milky Way our solar system is lucky enough to have.
Like the many rovers that got lost out on Mars and the lonely satellites that circle around space,
You're someone that I could not replace.
Like Romeo and Juliet, you are the moon and i am the sun.
Like an eclipse coming and going as you please
Spinning in an axis, our two souls are never at ease.
Sep 2015 · 366
Drown me
Amber Rush Sep 2015
Some people have faucets inside their lungs,

I cry at romantic-comedies so the pipes don’t rust.
I can say goodbye in nine languages, But the word ‘love’ evades me in every tongue. 

When he asked me why I cried so much I told him I was practicing for when I drowned

When he said I was the only one who had his heart,
I told him I had my own.
Jun 2015 · 469
Amber Rush Jun 2015
I remember being little.
When I was gentle with my words
And with the things my hand would hold.
The way my cheeks would rose up from the cold.

Little fingers, little feet.
Sweet smiles,snuck a treat.
Laughter and play.
Feeling safe in every way.

Seeing only the best in everybody.
Trusting everyone who came by.
Being held and needing a cuddle.
Splashing in a rain puddle.
Hearing, everything will be alright.

Being a princess is an actual occupation.
Thinking your parents aren’t scared of anything.
Believing in things that cannot be believed.
Having an imagination completely unperceived.

Finger painting, Dancing.
Footy PJ's, Encouragement.

Through all of my days.
Always feeling loved.
Never any doubts
Soft whispers, Tender touches.
Quiet kisses.

These are the things an adult misses.
Jun 2015 · 375
Amber Rush Jun 2015
Once is not enough,
For me to feel this buzz.
For I see the smoke upon your lips,
And I can only but feel envious.

Carcinogens? I fear none.
If I obtain my dearest’s love,
For this reward is what I get.
The consequences of a cigarette.

One day, sir, this will have you die
To that, my love, this is my reply,
Smoke again is what I’ll do.
For ironically,  I’d die for you.
Jun 2015 · 18.9k
video games
Amber Rush Jun 2015
Am I going crazy?
Or am I just trying to escape to another dimension?
Another dimension with no you

Reality keeps giving you lives,
And I really hate it.
All I find is myself playing video games.

Each time I select a target,
feels like I’m selecting your head.

Video games has nothing to do with you
or maybe each time I win I feel like destroying you.
Am I a hater now?
After all this love I felt.

War is my head
And it's all because of you.
Jun 2015 · 451
Amber Rush Jun 2015
You can tell there's something missing,
Her invisible flaw.
Her walls are up,
She built them tall

Daddy’s little girl,
His absence stung.
Detached for too long.
She learned it at a young age.

Now she's grown,
His trick up her sleeve.
He never showed her how to love,
But he taught her how to leave.
Jun 2015 · 265
my in between
Amber Rush Jun 2015
Your My In Between

I know that Heaven's a beautiful place,
with plenty of things that I haven't seen.
Earth has its beauty, like the stars in space,
you are the diamond that's trapped in between.

The flowers bow down each time you walk by.
In the presence of such beauty and grace.
The wind will whisper your name with a sigh,
while the moon reflects the glow on your face.

The birds stand in line to sing you a song.
As the ocean plays its magical tune.
The leaves in the trees will all sing along.
As the moon and all the stars start to swoon.

Between Heaven and Earth, you're beauty lies.
Polished perfection, my diamond, my prize.
Jun 2015 · 803
Amber Rush Jun 2015
The reflections in the window                                          
Show me the truths I can't escape.
They show me the lies I've believed,
The pain I've endured.

I see all the people who've used,
Betrayed and hurt me.
I close my eyes against them,
But they won't go away.

Not only do the reflections show
The pain I've endured,
But the pain I've inflicted as well.
Flinching away from all this,
I take a step back.

I don't want to remember,
But these reflections,
These reflections of my past
Won't let me be.

How hard I'd tried to build up these walls,
Years it took.
And now, it only takes a few moments
To break them down again.
These reflections quickly crumble my walls,
Exposing the pain,
Making old wounds raw once more.
I'm screaming in my head.

"Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop..."

These haunting reflections,
Everything I saw, all that I relived,
In my own eyes...
May 2015 · 418
Where did I go ?
Amber Rush May 2015
The higher the standards the harder the fall
The lower the standards your already face down on the ground several months in wondering how in the hell did I get here.

Well it probably started out something like this.
We were friends in the Beginning
Then I wanted more.
I got curious.
I got attached
Now I'm stuck in some fantasy world
It's a nightmare called reality
The feelings too hard to shake
I can't breath, almost suffocating
My mind is frozen with visions of you dancing around in my head. You're nothing but a blur and I'm stuck in this high
Slap me please, snap out of it!

Where did I go?
Must of stepped out and let love take over
Mar 2015 · 1.6k
Amber Rush Mar 2015
When you left
Music was the only thing that stayed

It's the only thing that makes sense anymore.
It's a safe kind of high
A medicine of the mind

When music kills you at least it doesn't hurt.
Mar 2015 · 664
Don't tell me your sorry
Amber Rush Mar 2015
I may be awake but my mind is asleep.
I've been in pause since my heart shut down.

I'm drowning in a max overload of your memories.

I need to snap out of it.
I deserve better.

I wanna feel wanted
I'm too use to being used to even know what's real.

Is there somebody out there who will?
Mar 2015 · 1.0k
Non existent
Amber Rush Mar 2015
Love does not exist.
The thought of someone does.

The pain and heartbreak is more real than the happiness that can't quiet last a life time.

Loving someone is a job
To many people are in the unemployment line

We quit too fast and hurt more than we have to.
Our flames only burn so bright for so long before we are all alone, left with nothing but the painful memories.
Mar 2015 · 480
This is how I feel
Amber Rush Mar 2015
I'm sad today.
I feel hollow inside while everyone else feels whole.
I hate the way feelings feel. The way your body tenses just before the first tear builds up and slowly runs down your face.
I hate the way endings feel like there are no beginnings.
How no matter what I do I'm as curious as curious George on what you may be doing.
Why is it that when someone causes you so much pain and sorrow you still want to be connected to them in some form or shape. I think it's because I've become trapped into a routine involving so much time and effort that I can't steer away from it.
I don't want to. This was either a cancer or a cure. And for me well I ended up with both a form of cancer and some type of sad cure. Kemo, fight and don't give up I tell myself, but do I have the strength anymore ? A part of me is slowly dying while another part of me is living. I'm a glass half empty and a glass half full.
Mar 2015 · 704
Never easy
Amber Rush Mar 2015
Life will never be easy.
Love will never be easy

You have to fight for the things you want.

I put up a fight for a long time.
It's the giving up part thats not exactly easy.

How do you fall out something just as fast as you fall into it.
Mar 2015 · 787
The kill
Amber Rush Mar 2015
Knowing the poison is going to ****
Reach for the stars they say as I listen
Rose petals around me as I lay still
The moon like your eyes oh how they glisten

A quiet Thunder the way he walks
And a heavy rainfall the way he leaves
Silence all around, I love when he talks
Now here alone, I really can't believe

Yet you come and go like the seasons
Stuck in a sand storm of what I call time
Picking flowers gives options and reasons
Was falling in love with you a sad crime
He is toxic like ivy to sweet too resist
The poison settles after once been kissed.
Wrote this for my younger sisters class
Mar 2015 · 382
Tale as old as time
Amber Rush Mar 2015
I wrote this awhile ago.

I'm wrapped in your smile
And I'm lost in your eyes
You're like the phantom of the opera
You hide  in disguise

A touch of fear has struck your soul
Fighting the demons as they dance around your heart
You haven't lost the race
You just forgot how to start

A fire burning bright
I wanna be your guide and show you the way
Please don't go, I want you to stay

Time is running out
My patience is losing site
Should I jump ship or continue the fight ?
Wasted time and wasted days
I fell in love with your magic, your silly little ways.
My shadow in the dark
My night in the light
My forever phantom
Mar 2015 · 236
Troubled world
Amber Rush Mar 2015
Some do drugs, others get drunk, maybe even a mixture of both.
Some can even go for a run.
But at the end of the day we're all just searching for that tiny space, perhaps a hole that gives us shelter from the terrible reality of the world we live in
Jan 2013 · 397
Amber Rush Jan 2013
We all stare at the same sky.
We all fear that something great wont happen twice.
We’ve come this far for such petty things
Jan 2013 · 352
my life
Amber Rush Jan 2013
I am pregnant with a thought,

I conceived it with a dream,

I gave birth to an idea,

I raised it to fly,

it is now my life
Jan 2013 · 475
The thought..
Amber Rush Jan 2013
Sometimes the thought of you hurts.
My love for you was like a fire that's flame couldn't go out.
Never ending.
Our bond was different.
Unique in a sense.
But, you hurt me.
Heartbroken and full of pain.
Hard to let go of the thought of us.
It kills me inside.
I took a bullet for you.
To the heart that is.
It got shattered.
Not even the strongest glue could fix the damage.
I cave in to others.
Lusting for love.
A heart full of broken pieces.
Fix me?
Jan 2013 · 391
Amber Rush Jan 2013
Catch my breath.
You speak to me with words.
I look at you with feelings.
We look at each other like we are about to kiss.
If you love me let me know.
For who could ever learn to love a beast.
My kisses aren't so easily won.
Jan 2013 · 334
3 simple lines
Amber Rush Jan 2013
It's still you.
And the days feel like years when i'm alone.
Even the leaves fall for you.
Jan 2013 · 389
Cause I want it bad
Amber Rush Jan 2013
What started off as a simple thought.
Turned into an unsolvable question
I wanted you so bad.
It’s like knowing the poison is going to ****…
But it feels way to good to let it fade
I’m stuck
You got me in deep
How does time always do this to me?
Jan 2013 · 816
Amber Rush Jan 2013
I've never had that kiss that meant something.
That magical spark.
That bond between two lips becoming one.
Lost in a daydream.
Rolling waves.
A dried up dessert.
A heart that lost its beat.
A smile that's incomplete.
My first kiss meant nothing.
No meaning.
No spark.
It was something I couldn't cherish.
An hour glass that's running out of time.
Hear my crys .
Heal my heart.
Sweep me off my feet.
Searching for my other bond.
Where art thou?
I want to feel alive.
I'm in need of your lips.
Jan 2013 · 1.9k
Amber Rush Jan 2013
Im trapped in a city not known as home.
The lights aren't nearly as bright.
I can see stars above me shinning in the night sky.
I close my eyes and wish I was home.
The struggles real.
My soul is on fire yearning to be with the ones I love dear.
A single tear slides down my cheek.
I am in a ball of confusion
Lusting for acceptance in this place I call hell.
I think im good enough, but I second guess myself.
The question is: Am I good enough?
No one can ever be enough or have enough.
A glass half empty, is a glass half full.
Life is nothing but a delusion
We set our sights high and shoot for the stars.
We are lost in wanderlust
We all want that sweet escape.

-Amber Rush
Jan 2013 · 582
Amber Rush Jan 2013
A picture is worth a thousand words.
It is like a girl who is lost in her own beauty.
A memory that feels to far fetched to grab.
It is like a smile on a dark day.
Hate is like a closed fist, as love is like reaching for the stars.
It is like a teddy bear you squeeze tight.
There to look back at.
Capture the moment and make it last.
A picture is like night and day, always there.
A thousand words is nothing compared to a second with you.
Be my picture that lasts forever.

-Amber Rush
Jan 2013 · 429
Time is running out
Amber Rush Jan 2013
A lot of things are racing through my mind
It's like im lost in a dream and don't know which rabbit hole to choose
Im stuck in this thing called time
The clocks are ticking
I don't know what to do
A nightmare I keep trying to wake up from
Help me!
Help me!
No one hears the pain
A shattered soul
To young
Im dying inside
Let the rose petals drop

-Amber Rush
Jan 2013 · 474
Amber Rush Jan 2013
A part of me feels out of place
Somewhere lays a missing puzzle piece
I think it got ripped out long ago
The seams are starting to fall apart
I'm not sure where it all went wrong.
Was it the shattered family?
A father who abused his wife
Up and left his family for a new life
Was it the boys who stole my heart?
Hopelessly devoted to you
Was it the three bestfriends that blew me off?
I thought it was us against the world
I'm floating on top, but it feels like im drowning
I am my own missing piece to the puzzle.

-Amber Rush
Jan 2013 · 523
Beauty in the Breakdown
Amber Rush Jan 2013
She stood across the room
Hair in her face
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
A wallflower blending in amongst the crowd
Time stand still
Different is a term too overused
Lost in a dream
Paralyed bones and torture of the heart
Awaiting for a prince and a new start
A forced smile to hide the truth
Taking that first step is the hardest
Leaving the wall
Stepping into the unimaginable
Her scars light up
That shattered smile heals
She is set free with the wind
Spread your wings and fly.

-Amber Rush

— The End —