I've always wanted to be
An astronaut in the deep
Galactic sea where creation wrought
All that is exploding into naught

I know that this could
Not last the empty starlight wood
But I would hope you should ask
To bear the burden of a faceless mask

We could become wild-human-angels
Answering the unending questions
Soul-star-astronauts
But we're not

Leave the grass and the leaves to dust
In search of intergalactic rust
Sink into the ink of darkness perched
Awake from death, supernova rebirthed

All power to the grace of the distant
All glory to the face of singular instant
Bear the weight of tomorrow
Become the force removing sorrow

We could become wild-human-angels
Answering the unending questions
Soul-star-astronauts
But we're not

Such a quiet desperation
Such a dying fascination

Slow depth and hearts breadth
It's a golden show, how little we know
I, I wonder wonder just a little bit
Bit by bit we fall in to the grace of love
So much more, a morning rose before
Time is wandering and my feet faltering
Will seek the end of my becoming
Becoming myself in the Great Belief

Further up and further in
I swear I saw you in that lion skin
And I could not explain my wild cares
As I rest upon the tarnished chair

Better now than before the open door
Show the light unto the dark of this world heart
Watch it bleed and howl with me
A savior is hidden in the stranger from the well
Draw the love into the light and quell your desire
Desire is the death of acceptance

Further up and further in
I swear I saw you in that lion skin
And I could not explain my wild cares
As I rest upon the tarnished chair

Let me bend to break and burn this stake
I've found all my rivers amongst your veins
Now we're feeling free of the oppression
Now we're oppressing our living frame

No voices come from the wood oh but what voices could
Surely those brittle trees, and those buzzing bees
I, I hope hope you will find
Find me dreaming of your graceful song
So much less, the empty minds blessed
Truth is eternal keeper and dear sleeper
Will breathe the dream of undoing
Undoing the Great Deceit

Further up and further in
Again and again
Until the end

Let love consume
As you fall through that empty blue
Hide your soul in your bursting room
Where you let love find you

Walking wasted
on Saturday late
and I've been replaced
like a cracked glass vase  
Fallen to the floor
Slow motion more
Dramatic than before
I walk you to the door

On a first date
To your front gate
And now you say you're late
Now she's got a first name
Wake late before daybreak
Sacrifice for her sake
In the morning I wake

To the sound of her thin cries
And the time flies
Til she drives by
With her new guy
Too high
But you can't lie

You know how
Your mom felt now
When she found out
How you dropped out
Just to tune in
And drop out

I dreamt of beauty and fear
A sadness grew in dead soil
Under guise of navy petals of hope
Come close and watch it thrive

Feel the empty frost in my heart
A growing rose of deepest blue
Thorns of cruel blood surround
Will you show me Winter's warmth

I cannot see the coming end
Summer tends to forget
I surrender, I surrender
My body is vacant of desire

Five dead days and it's over
Five wasted years I will not know
Everything is ending
Everything is cold

And I awoke from my tortured sleeping
Afraid of the clean snow outside my window
You silently buried me there in the dark
And yet I suspect I was not only dreaming

Now I lay me down to sleep
I give the dirt my bones to keep
And if my soul the shadow reaps
I pray your tears short and sweet
Forgive me friends, do not weep
For life is kindness, life is cheap
Bury me 'neath those flowered trees
I bet my eyes that death's a cheat

There's no heart left in Los Angeles
All those screaming ascendants
Living with Beats around their necks
But nothing beating in their chests

They got beaches, buried toes in the sand
Can you feel the heat yet, fire from your hand

Yet

There's no love left in Los Angeles

O' Miss Fortune, mother of joy
Daughter of Ol' Sorrow
Won't you be my savior?
Won't you call me your boy?

O' Miss Fortune, lover of happenstance
Murderer of Good Father Time
Would you come out to play?
Would you join with Decadence?

O' Mr. Misery, keeper of delights
Warrior of Love's Lost Heart
What could be your destiny?
What could you know of fair fights?

O' Mr. Misery, follower of my shadow
Burden of my shoulders
Won't you let me go home alone?
Won't you let me go?

O' Mother, O' Father
Please can't you see?
Fortune and Misery
Have made a mess of me.

Drown out the sound
Frail fingers cupped around fragile ears
The voiceless singing too loud to hear
Sorrow filled songs of the proud

Sightless eyes still search for light
As she wanders through barren fields
Still the salted soil will not flowers yield
Emeralds or diamonds shine too bright

Calm storms whisper ghostly lullabies
As dead weather stirs living men
Dead men search for passion again
Buried too deep to reach blue skies

Ashes to dust
Blanket our frigid hearts
Purpose of mind a fire starts
Consign me not to trust

Stolen, our lives vanished in the night.
Huddled below the hateful eyes,
ineffectual pleas of children's hushed cries.
We are the forsaken people,
abandoned in our time of need.
Victims at the hand of destiny.

Our lives, chosen by your name.
Our minds, lost without our king.
Ruler of the light, our Prince,
the God that calls us home.

They came in the night,
we sang our souls into fire.
A voice through the discord,
separating silence.
Seeking our forgiveness,
burn our names in your heart.
Cleanse our sins from the earth.
We leave as ashes; to the sky we fall.
Nothing more than dots and dashes on the wall.

It's been said that ignorance is bliss
But I think that phrase took a swing and missed.
Cuz I look around and all the ignorance I see and hear
Seems to stem directly from fear.

Fear of knowledge, change, and what may come next
From both sides of the aisle, right and left

Mother help us we walk along in confusion
Pointing fingers, spewing hate filled abuse and
Forgetting to speak of love for fear of rejection
Father help us we ask your protection

There's more to learn if only we allow it
We should listen to more than just those who shout the loudest

Even jesters garner much attention
And are showered with affection
But their ideas are farcical and dilute
If one but tried they are simple to dispute

Die not with fear in your heart
Remember courage requires fear to start
To defeat our burgeoning ignorance
We must supplant our living indifference

And I knew what I was
When you called me disgrace
I was the sun exploding into space

And I was knew what I was
When the light broke through silence
Like that great hound through my fence

Drown out
Out
Out
The fear
Fear
Fear
Of day
Day
Day

So let's burn
And turn
Into ash
Like the skyline
You pine
But never ask

If I knew what I was

Gold spine
Terror climbs
Deep inside
Warning signs
Upside out
Inside down
Laugh loud
Love now
Heart beats
Struggle streets
Perfect teeth
Pretty neat
Run away
Lazy May
Rainy play
All day
Cold night
Sore sight
Bitter fright
Winded kite
Dead sigh
Cold climb
Green vine
Gold spine

I can't sleep.
So I flip through my waking dream.
Making it better makes it worse.
I see the hurt in the joy
But it isn't real
And my mind is projecting the world
I could never have
Onto the back of my eyes.
Is it beautiful or is it decaying?
Is this fiction or future wishing?
Who knows?
Who cares?

I brought the mountain to the north
You brought my world to a quiet halt
You are breaking my fourth
I stare through the wall

This is my defeat
Shall I fall, a broken, empty shell
The sword lies bloodied, unsheathed.
You fell from  heaven only to bring me hell

We're moving further
Further away from perpetual motion
Drifting towards the bottom corners
Of these uncharted churning oceans

Set my soul alight
I will follow you down
Heart rending slight
Slow comprehension  of fury and sound

You were never quiet
I just couldn't seem to ascertain
How you screamed through the night
As I dragged my mountain, dreading the night you sang

Sanguine devotion to the one great commotion,
Quarantined joy, in this helpless slow motion
Disaster. We won't know our hearts until we tear ourselves apart.
Alabaster skin torn asunder, to reveal broadcasted surrender to the dark

I tied my noose to twenty-seven balloons I'd filled with my own hopes and hot air.
I let them carry me until I was no longer there because I forgot what it meant to be real and gave up on ever being healed.

I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling.
Stained with water and the paint peeling in strips and fragments like the edges of my resistance. If life is all a dream well I can't help but wonder who's dreaming.

Knock on my head and hear the reverb hollow.
It echoes throughout like my thundering heart beat but where's my brain beat? Ignorance is bliss but no one said bliss tastes sweet.

The water in my lungs is deep enough to drown but still shallow enough to hear every note I've got left in my xylophone ribs. I guess this is what you meant when you asked me to forgive.

But I ******* all my anger into twenty-seven little strings and blew kisses to the wind. It's goodbye that's gonna take me home again. So if you see me floating know that I am real but I couldn't bring myself to heal.

Convince yourself of your certainties
But certainly they are uncertain
For the truth is hidden behind time's immovable curtain.

Loops within loops within loops
You got me jumping through your high hoops
And my hopes, my hopes are little scoops
Balled up by the pressure, dear

Breathtakingly, beautifully, brilliantly designed
Elegant, lucky lover redefined
Braver than, brighter than a silent star roaring, roaring, against unending night
Tell me that you need me here.

Day follows night follows day
But I don't get any anyway
So tell me what you say, what you say
When I say I need you here

Motion, growth, and self repair
Run like water, rivers through your hair
Efficacious gracious daughter, only you, only you would dare
We both know you're braver than that fear

Most nights
I am both
the frozen deer
and the
Unrelenting headlights

All life is now a waking dream.
How silly must we be to take it so seriously?

I am a man on fire
Brought to life by one burning desire
to see the bottom of the ocean blue
Impossible they say, if only they knew

Because I am a man set ablaze
My passion is finding my way through Hell's maze
And I never thought it would be so hard
Everything I touch is instantly charred

You see, I did not choose to burn
I chose only to learn
Of fire and it's nature,
Now everytime I try to explain, I always burn the paper

In flames there is only destruction
Unless your aims are given proper instruction
Fire is not only for desecration
Fire may bring about great innovation

Fire is love and hate
Rolled in a ball, arguing fate
Fire is made of fear and joy
Of one fact be certain, those that burn  may build or destroy.
It isn't wise to play with fire, boy.

I keep my soul in my mouth
to stop all the heartache from pouring out
I put trust in a box and set it out to stormy seas
'cause I am just a man, aching for you to hear me
but my idle hands made idols of my ears
and they worship silence so I cannot hear

So I'm living and I'm dying
Not one without the other
I've wasted too much time
I should call my mother
and tell her that I am doing just fine
Though sometimes I fear I've lost my mind
but that's okay because I really don't miss it
They say ignorance is bliss
but I can't hear it, oh well
Like meteors we fell
With no thought for where to land
But by God we fell hand in hand
We shattered like glass and
The soil became our bones
We are home at last
but I still can't feel you
So I'll keep on burning through and through
Yeah that's just what I'll do

Show me your light
Be my guide through life
and through nights
We hide inside
But tonight my heart is weaker than it's ever been
Trying so hard to keep the waves of insanity from crashing in
Reality sank to the bottom of the sea
It doesn't come for free
Drag me out, drag me up into the sky
Shake me up, shake out all the lies
'cause we're still trying to cross life's great divide

So I'm living and I'm learning
Not one but both together
Hold my hands away from my head
Let me hear this singing weather
I am not afraid to walk with you tonight
but only if our frail fingers hold us together despite

Well I never noticed that you looked at me differently than everyone else.
 I was always too busy running around in circles trapped inside my own head.
I get caught up in what-if's and maybe's and forget that there are definites and certainties.
I focus on all these stars falling heavy around my ears and I run chasing after them missing the beauty and wonder shining sweet light on me.
When I lost myself in those moments..I should've lost them with you.

My mind may wander far from me
To sit by ancient green mountains
To contemplate the eternal golden sea
Through the City of One Thousand Fountains
To venture 'neath the skies so free