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Sep 2019 · 207
Re: Rain
Spenser Bennett Sep 2019
I will not yet cede to your silence


To see myself with eyes so foreign
Unbecome, the weight and my headspace
These false faces, presented, applauded
Such suffocation, lift away, could I

Walk aside your healing
Inside, I'm dreaming
Wealth of empty numbers
Shade is but a feeling

All is fleeting, so it must
And yet the image remains
Of the dawn at dusk
Oxidize your heart now, hold trust

Stir your heart, give up my ghost
Should you find yourself awake and alone
Don't reach for my hands, you've come to
An isolation I've always known

Foot falls in a garden
Ash aloft on a high wind
Covet not abiding
Covered by untying

Frayed cloth of your choosing
I'll wake to an empty air, Confidante
Capture every inkling, promise I'm still breathing
Your heavy eyes disbelieved
How readily I held to grief

My lonely light!
How heaves this life?

Across every green, I call mine for peace
Don't say it's not to cleave
These bones and leaves; yellowing

Let go, let go, let go
Come winter's cold

Sacred? Quite!
A savored cry

Forgone for the forest
Should your water rise but for us

Our hands have held the heat
How we burnt the seed

Oh, for the prophet
Some did profit, some did weep

Ache and ardor of an armour
Wake and wander, suffer should the summer
Never cease


All my life I have felt a vacancy
All apartments, B, all apologies
Still you suffer not my kindness
Syl, I cede to you; your silence
Be as it must be
Heaving fore she breathes
Aug 2019 · 218
Spenser Bennett Aug 2019
Caught no eyes for Reds
No stomach for butterflies: words I
shoulda never've said
My hands are waisted
Lungs ablaze, torched by low water
Modern man, I am, so suspended
All my lives, always I've been dependent?

I have no ears for nothings,
No matter how sweet
A nose ain't for roses nor pale concrete
Better served in service towards
Some dream, c'est fantastique...
A matter of mind, weighed Large Above
Kerouacian seams
Borne back, never to cease
My bones; clattered and battered an American beat

Some soul for a saving, suppose
No faith for the golden fleeced,
Howe'er a lion takes the meat, God knows
Of heart, I weigh much
But suffer no touch, unfeasted on an Appled iCore
How vacant must one be!
For life to give purpose, for Heaven to speak
How persistent a rose from a Sidewalk's end grows
Yet unlike a bull, I'll cane no Calgary
Thoughts on how obsessive consumerism and the overreach of advertising chip away at our ability to be human. I guess. Or not. Your call.
Jun 2019 · 256
Spenser Bennett Jun 2019
All that is good
All that is golden
Will live in our hearts
Unlost, unbroken
May 2019 · 280
Spenser Bennett May 2019
For what pain may bring
We suffer more of our fear
Pain is but a fleeting, physical thing
While fear lingers on for years

Say what you must of Epicurus
Call him what he must have been
A coward, a heathen, a hedonist
He rejected all but the pleasurable sins

For pain is a sin, against the happiness of spirit
And fear is as well, however, against the fortitude of mind
Run far from pain, avoid all who dwell near it
But fear, I say, you must embrace lest courage you ne'er find
Apr 2019 · 319
Goes On
Spenser Bennett Apr 2019
Fail me now
Oh, these little things
I'm sticking on
Gravitate, I will
Slow, sinking feeling
I could be so much better
Make it mean
Abating heaven, sing
Welcome home
Heart stained sleeves
So unentertaining
The way love goes
Scared shitless moments
All of life is falling
Back to the day I met her
Jan 2019 · 531
Spenser Bennett Jan 2019
How sorrow held you
Without right
Night after night, stare out the window
At all the lights in the dark
Never once could you imagine
The light reflected in you
So bright, stark white
Heavily blue

Left the house today
One shoe at a time
I start to hope
Maybe it'll be okay
From that anguished slumber
You woke
To find a light right here
Not fleeting
But deep down I know
You're still sleeping

A leap made in faith's absence
The needle wasn't enough
To still the beating blood
And the sink won't ever be clean again
Oh, how darkness did consume
All that I had left to lose
In a note, washed by tears and blood
Reads, in your ever careful hand,
Dec 2018 · 403
Spenser Bennett Dec 2018
All shall not last forevermore
Patient is the knock of Death at Life's ancient door
Let me gaze through the window a while more
Until Living becomes, as compared to Death, a bitter chore
Oct 2018 · 553
How It Could Go
Spenser Bennett Oct 2018
Don't you listen well
I could only kiss but never tell
Just what we're waiting for, I'll never know
So heavy hangs the balance
Still I am crushed more by absence

Oh, honey hardly, how my heart did harden
Oh, sunny starling, show me something sparklin'

Caught tight in this Dreaming disease
Toss and turn but never learn how the tides of time wash over me
I am the open ocean, an oriole aloft on a cool cutting breeze
Exhausted wings fold softly, fall into the sea
I pray this love might rest whole and safe with thee

Oh, sleeping saker, southward lies the seam
Oh, heaving haver, hiding holy hands of heme

Sit me kind and languid amongst the stars
My head on your shoulder, a simple understanding of heart
That sadness is not weakness, nor happiness a strength
Time is not a construct but a killer all the same
And as light begins so light must fade
But in it's absence we might find that light lives on inside
And with all of that in mind
I would watch the world turn through darkness with your hand in mine
Oct 2018 · 390
So Long, So Far
Spenser Bennett Oct 2018
It's another pointless night in a semi pointless life
Devoid of light and aching for strife
I'll wait for the courage to give up on hope and turn out my eyes

There's movement and there's heat somewhere outside the door
I've been there, so long, so far before you graced the sweaty floor
The dancing fools and turbulent intellectuals made dim by another and another one too many
How they abandon themselves forever, an escape they embrace unconditionally, so ready

In the deep night from which I abstain, you're out there waiting
For someone better, for someone to fit a malformed mold
While I sit debating the merits of another new love or an old affair that's always failing
In my favorite chair, guitar in the corner, the words I sing seem cold

This isn't real, I tell myself, it's a finger in the dam
There's water leaking through, it's always coming for you
How long can you stay here, denying the inevitable, let it be broken
Let the flood wash you away, wake up as someone new

Because change is worth the pain
Because theres more to life than waiting to die
Because she isn't waiting for you
Because she never will
So pick yourself up and carry yourself home
Wake up as someone new
Sep 2018 · 509
Scabs (Haiku Chain)
Spenser Bennett Sep 2018
Hello, I'm sorry
Always apologizing
I know, I broke it

Stay still, just one more moment
I want to capture
In my mind, your eyes tonight

Hello, it's pointless
Killing time until the wound
Scabs and heals over
Sep 2018 · 298
No Substance, No Weight
Spenser Bennett Sep 2018
I have nothing to say
I have nothing to say
No words to complain with
No complaints to give words to
I have no joy to be spoken
I have no wisdom to impart
I am a vessel half empty
I am a fish tank half full
There is nothing wrong now
And yet it doesn't feel right
Am I actually feeling anything
Am I happy
Am I sad
Am I lost in what I am
I have no passion
I have no goal
I can accomplish anything
I can accomplish nothing
These strings are ropes
Tie me down right
I am bound by conventions
That I was never told
Or at least never in a way
That could be understood
This is the future
Where everything is wrong
And everyone is right
And no one is listening
To the voice inside
Because their ears are filled
With screaming and fire
And hatred and selfishness
Even mine are burning
I am not immune
Welcome to hell
You had no choice in coming here
And by God we will guilt you
For even thinking of choosing
To take yourself out
And call you selfish
And bemoan your loss
And ask ourselves what we could have done
But we won't ask you
Before you make the choice
Because we don't care
We're rats
And this is our ghost ship
It might be sinking
It might be sunk
But ****** sure if you
Matter more than me
Or them or us or ideas or civility
We'll eat you alive
And then blame you
For not being strong enough
To hold back both the terror
And the flame
This place is empty
There's nothing good now
That is new
All we are is dancing
Shadows around the fire
No substance, no weight
Jul 2018 · 291
Less Than Glory
Spenser Bennett Jul 2018
Keep this at arms length
A heart beat away from death
Every moment, every second
Keep me at arms length, babe

If I get you, I got you
But there's more to it, so
Forget the world, forgive the mess
I promise I'll clean it up before I go

Woke up haloed and healed
But I don't believe that story
Shut my eyes, go back to bed
I want something less than glory

Keep this at arms length
A heart beat away from life
Never again, never the same
Keep me away from the light
May 2018 · 290
Head First
Spenser Bennett May 2018
Separate the skin
Like the sinner and the sin
Head first into the sea
The salt rushes in

Are we living this right
With our ears clasped tight
And our souls like fire
Without the light

Bury your head
In the sand instead
And maybe you'll see
All that you've bled
Wasn't your blood to bleed

Have I lost my way
Is this what it takes
A little break,
A 96 hour stay

Promise me this
You'll make it quick
I'm on the edge
Don't miss
Oct 2017 · 353
Spenser Bennett Oct 2017
Oh, I've been waiting
And imitating
All the ways I should've been

But now I've no idea
How to be a real person
But you're showing me
And I'm learning

Take me by the hand
And make me better
Show me how to stand
To make me better

Oh, I've been waiting
for a sign dictating
How to find my way back

But the map is old and faded
The roads look like rivers
Even ink can become jaded
After the compass' last quivers

Take me by the mouth
Did it make you better
Take away the doubt
To make me better

Oh, I been waiting
It's true. Waiting
For someone like you
Oct 2017 · 324
Brand New, Used Up
Spenser Bennett Oct 2017
It's been covered in dirt
Cracked and torn apart
But I promise there's a value
I can make it worth it for you
Just wait it out
Let me polish it once more
Scrape away the grime
Chip away the lingering salt
And that bit of blood that dried
To present to you
A brand new, used up, beaten but beating heart
Sep 2017 · 599
Gold Water
Spenser Bennett Sep 2017
The way you heave a little breath
From between soft tight lips
Against the still air of silence
And break the world in two

Gold water, Koala
What am I to do
Without you

When the world grew colder
Than my heart ever could have been
You caught me in my darkest moment
And stole away that silver pain

Gold water, Koala,
Fell on my shoulders, stained
By heaven's rain

Wash my eyes of the dust and tears
Before safety comes blessed disaster
I can sleep here without fire/fear
Of what comes forever ever after

Gold water
Gold water

Are you gonna stay

Gold water

Are you gonna go away
Gold water
Sep 2017 · 313
Hands Held
Spenser Bennett Sep 2017
I too walk with the hand of doubt
Held tightly in mine
Though the whispers and fear
Of what could go wrong
Do not hold sway
In my ears
Nor my heart

I do listen
And I do entertain
What pictures they might paint
But I do not concern my eyes
With their idealized imagined pain
For the hand of love
Rests gently in my right
Spenser Bennett Sep 2017
Time is an ocean lashing
Against the skin of shorelines
Kept apart from
Everything she loves

Meander amongst the currents
Each day brings new love

Heaven waits without worry
Over those golden moments
Meet me there sweet grace
Ever after the evening comes
Sep 2017 · 360
Lovey-Dovey, Starry Eyed
Spenser Bennett Sep 2017
You make me lovey-dovey, starry eyed

Color me down, hold my love inside
I want to feel your love tonight

You make me radiate, I feel my aura; deep and bright

We don't have to complicate, let love decide

Destination unknown, but we're side-by-side

You're my favorite song. I sing it all the time.

Dancing to the rhythm of our own beat, melodies floating soft and sweet

Like painted time, swinging hips, and our moving feet

Slow and steady, heart beating fast as our lips meet

Call it love, call it ecstasy
Call it you and me
Call it everything we need
Written in collaboration with love
Sep 2017 · 264
This Distance
Spenser Bennett Sep 2017
Close your
turned down eyes.
Let this parting be.
Goodnight. Sleep well,
my summer smile.
Winter waits,
as do I.
It might be awhile
until dawn
but I am patient,
you are kind.
Close your eyes,
let time slip by.
In the morning
you will find
this distance
to be gone.
I will hold you
once more
before the world
knocks soft
upon your door.
Sep 2017 · 289
Right Around Eight
Spenser Bennett Sep 2017
I have a habit
Of leaving places
Right around eight
Without direction
But I guarantee
I'd drive 12 hours straight
Just to see your face
My Amazing Grace

I'd only ask for a little rest
From the fugue of death
I'd wipe the sleep from my eyes
Kiss your cheek
When I rise
Sneak about on bare feet
Down to the little kitchen
To bring you
Some coffee or tea

And the days would
Never drag
and the nights would
Burn with passion
But we both know
That the dawn is
And I must go
But I don't want
To without
You smile one last time

Time might not wait for us
No, there's no stopping her
But I will work for us
It only gets better
Let me show you
How you make
Me feel
In every single way
My Amazing Grace
Aug 2017 · 495
Deep Blue
Spenser Bennett Aug 2017
Every morning I speak to the blue
mountains just beyond my reach.
So far away I fear they cannot hear
what little praises I may utter.
Ancient so they must be wise, I am to
assume. I ask their advice
in regards to love and life.
Never have they answered my
little questions.
But maybe their silence speaks
more than I may yet understand.
Maybe the answer lies
in the stillness of deep blue stoicism.
Aug 2017 · 294
Spenser Bennett Aug 2017
Like a power outage of heart
The food will spoil
The lights stay dark
Aug 2017 · 283
Spenser Bennett Aug 2017
Crush the night against your senses
Forget the pain of dawn and life
Return to veiled simplicity
Reveal yourself to true Heaven
Aug 2017 · 248
Unseen Dance
Spenser Bennett Aug 2017
Now the lights dance
A hidden folly
Just outside my vision
As you wait for morning
Under the stars of Ursa Minor
Can you hear their laughter
Rising above the crescent moon
Do you know they aren't laughing
No, not at you
Nor anything in particular
Merely to laugh at all
To feel that joyous abandonment
Of all serious inquiry and thought
Let them laugh
Do not fear the dawn
For you must rise with it
Fear not the coming months
For they fear you
Like a spider
Or a snake
More so
And if you react with dread
They will react with violence
Laying low their own existence
To end yours
Watch now
As these stars drift a little more
They do not fade
They just move on
Until the night comes again
But they are never not alight
Only your pale eyes
So bright and true
Cannot capture them
In the wake of Sol
But they dance
Oh, child do they dance
Just outside of your vision
Jul 2017 · 229
Tell Me
Spenser Bennett Jul 2017
Tell me this, do you believe God'll make you pay for heaven?

Tell me this, do you believe there's ever been a debtor that was free?

Tell me this, buddy, ol' pal, oh friend of mine, would you face the hungry lion when you could pay the docile lamb?

I didn't ******* think so.

Now let me tell you something you ain't down enough to know,

The lion and the lamb are brothers of the soul.

One'll take your life in a ****** hurry!

The other'll watch you die real slow.

So tell me this, are you free?

Tell me, are you willing to bite the hand that feeds?
Jul 2017 · 382
Spenser Bennett Jul 2017
She's so chemical, substrate, synthetic love
I never wanna taste her again
But I know I'm gonna taste her again
Because this is chemical, I'm not man enough

Veins twist and throb, aching for pulse
She only comes to go, leaving me alone
Let the blood flow
Let the girl go

Dependence, despondence, arriving all at once
A hard postdrip, and I'm dope sick
Wake me up with the sidewalk
Where I fought off concrete

And she's watching me breathe
While I'm dying in the depths of her sea
Blue love, no warmth comes
She's  not a disease

She's chemical, endo, morphonic reprieve
And I'm nodding along without a beat
I'm nodding off

And I'm nodding along

Nodding along

Jul 2017 · 374
Like Trains
Spenser Bennett Jul 2017
So, I'll lie awake on this rocky beach
With my head full of sand and bad memories
You told me you felt safe in the arms of evergreen
And I said I'd never go away until this spark became too much to bear

Now the mountain came to us but we couldn't climb
Because, because our perspective was at odds with the even keel of this sinking ship
And oh I couldn't hear one more word about that anchor called forgiveness
Because, because forgiveness is just the gateway to forgetting and I won't forget

No, I won't forget you
Even when the world crashes down around my ears
Oh, heaven is coming down here
I know the angels sing their perfect songs but if they,
If they aren't singing of you I don't care to hear

But I hear, I hear angels cursing loud like
Like trains in the still night
Blowing decibels like churches
Towering tight against my eyes
They sound like
Screeching eagles clawing at the track
But they refuse to see that there's no going back

Because we said we'd never be this way
A silent promise in the deafness of anger
Said we'd never be this way
But I kept my fingers crossed
Like, like, perpendicular lines still hot from the friction of use
I'm burnt all down my insides
Because, because I know there's nothing in this world that can keep me from you

Even death concedes that I just won't turn blue
She watches me wait for you
In a forest made of ash
Whispers sweet nothings about the comfort of the black

But I refuse, I refuse to give in
And I won't forget to forgive myself
You always told me that comes first
The world is easier to live with if I can learn to live with myself
But I can't keep living this life without your help

So I'll wait by the ocean where salt water rises to tug at my feet
You'll be nowhere and right here because I just can't let it go
There's fear in the moon, that crazy old man is looking for us
I never knew what for
Pushing and pulling the sea until we can't swim anymore

And the waves will pull me under
To the depths where I'll await your forgiveness
When I'm deeper than the darkest indigo
Oh, I'll be passing through Atlantis
And I'll tell those sunken people of you and your eyes like a sunrise without an ending
These words they won't comprehend

And they'll never forget my tales of you
Long after I have passed
And their stars aren't the same as ours
Just lights passing in the distance
But they'll name them all after you
And your forgiveness

Oh, please forgive them
Bring them back to light
Give them my sunset
And hold me to the end of the line

Where the rocks aren't so sharp
And the ocean ain't so deep
The train is coming fast
And I can finally sleep
Jun 2017 · 391
Shadows Dancing Familiar
Spenser Bennett Jun 2017
I heard there was a dancing man
Somewhere deep inside
A cave lit only by candles
And that he didn't realize how
The world could be so bright
Because all he knew was shadows

You told me a story once
About a little old lady who
Lived inside of my left shoe
And I never wore it again
So she wouldn't have to keep
Rearranging her bedroom
I wonder if that's how God feels
About inhabiting me

See there's a lack of something
A wondrous nothing really
That I hear humming at night
Lying in tossed sheets and
Hoping the world isn't as dark
As it wants me to believe
It is

All I see is shadows
Dancing against the rock
Strung up by my ankles
When the blood rush in my
head became a familiar face
I knew you would too
That's the way it seems to go
All the love we never knew
We needed finds us
Somewhere between hopelessness
And calling it quits

This is what we've come to
A warm beer and a
Cold kiss goodnight
Nothing loving about the spite
I hear it in your voice
When you say you won't ever leave
I never said you were the only one
Oh no, you're not the only one
But you're the only one I want

So stay here with me
A quiet place where we can sleep
The world is coming for you
And I can't see the shadow so I
I know it must be the truth
That's gonna take you away from this
Empty nest and refill me with emptiness
She'll never leave those whom she gazes into
She only waits for love to leave again

The permanent impermanence of loss
Keeps me hanging on to a
Foreign hope of a traveler's kindness
Don't let go, there's nothing to look through
Only you
With a blood rush to the head
And shadows dancing familiar
Plato's Allegory of the Cave
Little old Lady  that lived in a shoe
A God-shaped Hole
If Work Permits - The Format
Something something...the abyss gazes back... -Nietzsche  
"I only stopped by to look through ya"  - Chance the Rapper
Jun 2017 · 536
In This Moment
Spenser Bennett Jun 2017
In this moment I would run
Without eyes to see
Or lungs to breathe
I would run so far
For so long
And die as the sun must

In this moment I would live
With arms thrown wide
And a heart grown full
I would live so well
For long enough
To die alongside the earth

In this moment I am alone
As I have always been
As I shall always be
I am so alone
I can hear my heartbeat
Though no joy accompanies

In this moment I am awake
To the truth of existence
Nothing is permanent
I am so awake
I can hear the divide
Calling without a voice

In this moment the world turns
Without thought to why
Nor a reason to bear
The world turns gentle
As the oceans collapse
Against the endlessness

In this moment I would run
So fast and so far
I could lose myself
I would run forever
Without thinking of you
Without thinking of me
May 2017 · 919
To Taste the Sun
Spenser Bennett May 2017
I'd burn my lips to taste the sun
Empty Sierra, are you listening
Diamond blood, my Mesozoic love
Take me higher, I'm not done blistering

There is a flower of fire to swallow
And it blossoms within my soul
Whiskey daisy, my holy hazy sin
Hell will never hold me
But it holds me, so

Can you taste the sun
From that mile high hill
Can you chase this one
And feel so empty still

The sad thing is
That if you're the sun
Then you're alone
In darkness, and so close
In this moment

There is a flower of fire to swallow
It blossoms within my soul
Whiskey daisy, my holy blazing sins
Hell will never hold me
But it holds me, so

I won't be held
But I will behold
I won't be told
But I will live to tell

I'd burn my heart to know the sun
To ashes, I'd know what it is to be awake
Diamond blood, my Mesozoic love
I thought I'd know you then, (don't you call it fate)

Won't you hold me, slow
Burn my eyes, and let me know
Empty Sierra, why you don't glow
Anymore, anymore, no
Apr 2017 · 483
The Beating Heart of Love
Spenser Bennett Apr 2017
Fear is the beating heart of love
Love is the decaying root of indifference
Indifference is the overlooked cost of profit
Profit is the slow-burning charcoal of greed
Greed is the insatiable lover of suffering
Suffering is the quiet antecedent of fear
Fear is the beating heart of love
Apr 2017 · 839
Spenser Bennett Apr 2017
The order never mattered
Until blood became the earth once more
My heart never shattered
Still I bore a tender sadness, two perpendicular boards

No cause nor understanding may ever be sufficient
I could not shake sleep from my tired eyes
To give hope to ending my lonesome sickness
Nor dream of peace in the depths of my loathsome mind

And the sun may have shone
On me and mine
I could never have known
For I felt no shine

This is not an ending
Merely an abeyance
I wept until attending
Forever after the abyss
Mar 2017 · 1.4k
The Gentle Quiet of Absence
Spenser Bennett Mar 2017
Cannot whisper
Until it's too late to
Save ourselves from that overwhelming
Modified cinquain.
Spenser Bennett Mar 2017
Your eyes pour white smoke from the fire that burns your throat.
I'll swallow my tongue singing the songs that you wrote. Cover my mouth. Watch me choke.
Employ cause and effect once we've perfected the affect and pause.

Take it back to the twisted root
The silver spilled by the traitor's truth
Swing now and silence the doubt
There's fire in my eyes that will never burn out.

I can't become just another dead bulb, flickering fast to that final "pop" of my life.
I need to be a steady star, burn forever, forever and always be someone's wishing light.

Paint it black like the empty space
Above the clouds, behind what waits
Pointillism in still water reflected low
What heaven we have yet to know

Oh, we're all burning. Burn me up inside.
I will be the sun crashing through the dawn, I'll burn out bright.
End this endless life, bring on forever night.
Mar 2017 · 454
Spenser Bennett Mar 2017
If I could stare at the sun
For forever and a day
Would you leave the light on
Would you love me the same

There will come a time
When the absence of light
Will burn out my eyes
And I will know your name

What we do not see
Is the darkness around you
That falls around me
That falls regardless of the truth

Are you watching now
The light is burning out
And we all fall down
Painted roses of blood and shame

The image comes after
Those cracks in dead light
Beauty became fractured
Like lightning that split the rain
"And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee." -FN
Mar 2017 · 1.2k
Examining the Mirror
Spenser Bennett Mar 2017
Tell me why God looks
just like me. Same hair, same eyes,
same ******' ennui
Feb 2017 · 3.9k
Little Moments
Spenser Bennett Feb 2017
It broke my mind
Into ragged bits
When I realized
These little moments
Aren't so little
Jan 2017 · 1.0k
Spenser Bennett Jan 2017
I want to be the rust on your skin
Evidence of your changing chemical nature
I want to waste away with you
Spine of iron
Heart of stone
Spenser Bennett Jan 2017
Sweep clean the system
Shards of glass and bullets bloom
Party's over, no survivors
Shredded red ties and silk pant suits
Will we cower in glass houses
Stained panes fell through these rooms
War bloomed in the fresh-flowered noon

Don't believe what you see
Truth hides in deceit
Patron saint of finest filigree
What is gold but an excuse for filling blood seas

Chop shop, our listless hearts
Power brokers in bulletproof cars
Build your walls, we'll take your streets
The first house to burn is the house of greed
Thankfully you sold your souls for gasoline

If this is the end of everything
I'll make sure it's beautiful and free
Like fire off the edge of an endless sea
And you'll be the first to confess to fake history
Jan 2017 · 2.2k
Far Away, Far Enough
Spenser Bennett Jan 2017
I always love that which
Is far away
From passing aeroplanes
To four years ago's yesterday
Call it nostalgia
Call it an inability to commit
A fear of holding love
In scarred hands and
Knowing I don't know

I always love the idea
Of love crossed by
Gleaming oceans of starlight
Because there lies safety
By default
No heartbreak in fate
Only a useless fight
As love burns
Forever into that awful
Good night

From where might you
Show love
Little light of day
The coast of Italy
Or distant nebulae
Perhaps too close
For comfort
and yet would you
Know your distance
A picnic lain lightly
Upon salt battered bluffs
Love, would you love from
Far enough
Jan 2017 · 413
Oh and How
Spenser Bennett Jan 2017
It comes and goes
Wind and laughter
Does it matter
No one knows

Bend to break now
Gutter phenom
Hated Hinnom
Oh and how
Jan 2017 · 919
Above Drowning
Spenser Bennett Jan 2017
I live my life
With my head somewhere
Between the clouds and
just above drowning

My heart in the future
Where pain does not last
My eyes on the ground
So my feet know what
Balance is required
To navigate my past

I cover my pale toes
Cover them in mud
So I may not forget
Where my blood
Was wrought
What stains I leave

On the carpet
Of this house
Jan 2017 · 907
Winter, a Friend
Spenser Bennett Jan 2017
In the bursting light
Of blistering winter's night
I shiver and cough
Dec 2016 · 1.6k
Spenser Bennett Dec 2016
You left without a word
While I was gone about the world
and I came home a little empty
But your house was built within me
Now the fires gone out
The lights have faded
The paint is peeling
And the mountains only made me feel jaded

It's a long time coming
And I'm not done running
Maybe some day we'll see
Same page, but never the same leaf
I got caught up in the everyday
And you stood watching me watching myself waste away

Come down from that hill

Walk with me, like we used to do
Little shops on ninth, not the same
Like tripping acid without the view
I wonder if Wonder can do without you
You burn more than green and California thrills
I learned more things about that Thing and pâli, chill

Rain, rain, stains my shoes, but that don't mean nothing,
when there's nothing to do,
but watch talking horses and hide from the blues in the living room,
with the anxiety building until Hell is almost all you,
and I don't know what to do,
but I wouldn't trade the view for heaven, cuz if I've seen heaven,
I prefer you
Nov 2016 · 1.9k
No Serpents in Eden
Spenser Bennett Nov 2016
Let he who is without stones commit the first sin
And you sip that whisky again and again

What images cloud your mental sky
Why am I the subject of your judgement
When you know not of my designs
Forego your ego and see, no, believe in her judgement

Don't you understand that there is no control
You don't want to let go
I know, I know, I know
But her life is her own

I promise I'm not the serpent you believe me to be
I won't disrupt the garden to turn over new leaves
Eden holds no fruit for me

This is to you, you know who you are
I beg you to listen to the voice within your heart
And to not pass verdict upon strangers from afar
Nov 2016 · 1.0k
Anything But
Spenser Bennett Nov 2016
Arm me against my troubles
With slings and arrows borrowed
From the backs of the naked and famous
Blind by blind but I ain't aimless
What's a crow to the shine
Dearest darling, love of mine
Take these arrows and give them to your enemies
But never forget they came from my own spine
So, let's become the thing that we hate most

Common, complacent, and unaware that the world has moved on
And we still can't see for the dust clouds our eyes and chokes the words in our throats
We did this to ourselves, we built our houses too tall, and too far removed, afraid to let anyone get too close

Give me back the words I gave you once, in a year long gone
I can hear the fire outside, and it feels like the sun is moving on
Can you feel the lethargy in the dark that comes

You would do well to learn the art
For love is more than sweet kisses and little sleep
Love is war and peace and all the uncertainty between
To be certain the only certainty is how much she will make you bleed

So arm me against my troubles
Slings and arrows and sleeves
Worn thin by time and hunger
My breath, abandoned, from under the table
I'm not dreaming anymore
No, stillness contrasts the flicker
Call me famous, call me nameless, call me anything but love
Nov 2016 · 1.6k
Let Go
Spenser Bennett Nov 2016
I got the spirit in my shaking bones
Bottled up the feeling but this dam's about to go
And the water, the waters gotta flow
One more drop and she'll swallow you whole

Let go

Empty eyes of silent night glare
The moon born over a lake called Despair
Look up, look up, can you hear the whispers on the air
Dive deep, maybe you can see, what is buried there

Let go
Let go
Let go

Silver tongued disciple of the serpent king
Body of amber and eyes like sapphires cling
To your flesh but deeper, heavier, searching
Strike flash the ivory, color spurts, splashed ruby, don't scream

Let go
Let go

Guile of the ice grown thick over head
Air now thick with stale breath
Ancient green slow creeps to newly bled
It's no wonder, no thunder can wake the dead

Let go
Let go
Nov 2016 · 1.7k
Spenser Bennett Nov 2016
Part I

Listless illusion of disease
Flitting petals in the sickly breeze
Ivy sinks into the heart of me
Roots becoming limbs to breathe

And it's me or the hollow trees
And it's me or the hollow trees

What's repeated couldn't call for help
Cannot speak for lack of breath
Poisoned air and the scent of death
Empty eyes drifting to the vacant left

And there's nothing like the Martyr's pelt
And there's nothing like the Martyr's pelt

Part II

What have you seen, little light
What sky might you make night
Don't lay aside in absent fright
Don't take the side of tyrants, fight

For there's nothing like the Mad King's hide
For there's nothing like the Mad King's hide

Over old logs and under dead cold sun
Over dark water, hum the hunter's song
Do you hear the call to arms, don't wait too long
Do you feel the air that thrums, let the blood flow gold

It's for you or the end of endless love
It's for you or the end of endless love

Part III

So slow to the earth, now silent in the morning
Little light fell to night and declined adornment
I still see her in the dead forest, a quiet warning
No love to the loveless of mourning

And it's her or the rope of discordance
And it's her or the rope of discordance

To fire the blue of innocence burns low
Take the arms of the earth and replenish your own
Raise the corrupt world to the oldest throne
Surrender to none, surrender to the Great Below

And there's more to agony than I care to know
And there's more to agony than I care to know
Nov 2016 · 7.2k
Today Was a Car Crash
Spenser Bennett Nov 2016
Today was a car crash
Tomorrow's a few weeks away
Next month I'll see you someday
But today was a car crash
And it broke more than your bones
And it broke more than my heart
It broke everything
From the headlights
To the end of time
Nothing was the same
But you'll never change
But today was a car crash
Tomorrow's a few weeks ago
And yesterday was an eternity
But I didn't know it then
I'll live just a few moments
Without you for a second
But that second had better be a lifetime
And it had better flash before my eyes
Like the tears, like your face, like the casket, and the darkness
Tomorrow's a few weeks away
And forever came and passed
Because today was a car crash
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