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Jan 28 · 216
alone again...
MeanAileen Jan 28
alone again
just wishing you were here...
to feel your strong arms
holding me near.
missing the warmth
of your eyes, so deep,
i close my own
and drift to sleep....

awakened by a whispered
word in the wind,
a soft breeze tickling
my ***** skin.
like fingers it brushes
through my hair,
then a shadow floats faintly
across the cold air.

could that whisper
be one from your lips?
or that tickle come
from your fingertips?
was it your hand
that caressed, lovingly?
is that shadow you,
in the dark, i can't see?

so i call out to you....
my love, are you there?!
but my desperate hands feel
nothing but the air.
so i lay back down
and i shed tear,
alone again
just wishing you were here...
Another really old one I came across
Oct 2018 · 1.1k
The Ultimate High
MeanAileen Oct 2018
You are just so toxic to me
of that I surly know...
But try as I might, I simply can't
ever seem to let you go.
Your lips are laced with venom
scarring me with your wicked kiss...
Burning a path straight to my heart
but the taste, I just can't resist.
Your eyes hypnotize like voodoo
trapping me in a trance...
Utterly powerless against their magic,
never did I stand a chance.
Your hands are lined with kryptonite
weakning me with one touch...
Never has something so paralyzing
made me crave it so much.
Loving you is straight poison,
the ****** to my vein...
So very hazardous to my health
but the ultimate high to my brain.
Ugh...
Sep 2018 · 2.4k
Switch
MeanAileen Sep 2018
I can't wait to get you out of my life
no one has ever been so cruel...
no one has ever been so heartless,
or made me feel like such a fool.
I thought that I really loved you
I was in love with your other face...
the one I haven't seen in so long,
the one that vanished without a trace.
Oh, I just can't wait till you get up & go
and leave without saying goodbye...
leaving me alone, dearly departed,
leaving me alone while I cry.
You're sadistic, selfish and hurtful,
you're a bully and you've taken aim...
then point your fingers in my face,
but **** that! I won't take the blame!!
Yes, I wish that you were just a ghost
of the worst mistake I ever made...
of the one who ripped my soul apart
while I pulled the pin of his granade.
You treat random dogs better then me
even though you say I'm such a *****...
I just need to get you out of my life,
like Boost Mobile, it's time I switch.
Another one he'll never see....
It's just me venting anyway
Jul 2018 · 7.1k
High Life
MeanAileen Jul 2018
High Life

It must be nice
to be as cold as ice
and live with a heart of stone.
No need to think twice
in a fools paradise
when your head is so overblown.
Existing so high
you can touch the sky
from your pillar of ivory and gold.
Everyday you lie
just to pacify
an ego which can't be controlled.
You don't play fair
nor do you care
who's heart you might break next.
Another sordid affair
caught in your snare
treating women like they are objects.
Looking down on all
like you're 12 feet tall
does not make you a bigger man.
Laughing as they fall
watching them crawl
forgetting where your own life began.
Just keep living in excess
striving to impress
surrounded by all your cool ****...
Because what you possess
when dead from stress
in purgatory, won't matter one bit.
Ya...
Jul 2018 · 10.4k
Perfect Brown Eyes
MeanAileen Jul 2018
When I look into your eyes
I see more than just brown...
I see pools of dark chocolate
in which I want to drown.
Like shots of aged whiskey
they intoxicate me-
I forget all my troubles
and for a moment, I'm free.
They make me feel warm,
so safe and secure.
No longer a sinner-
they make me feel pure.
They're the color of sugar
when caramelized,
with a devilish charm
that has me mesmerised.
Much like the earth
drenched in rain-
with unstoppable force
they now flood my brain.
To be lost in their depths
is where I long to be...
but those perfect brown eyes
were never meant for me.
I love his eyes
Jul 2018 · 1.3k
The Ugly Side
MeanAileen Jul 2018
You bring out the very worst in me,
the **** side I hate to see...
That bitter ***** no one can stand,
who's quick to snap like a rubber band.
The angry, spiteful, cold-hearted shrew,
who only exists when brought out by you...
Short and to the point.
Jun 2018 · 2.6k
kiss me
MeanAileen Jun 2018
I know you hate it
when I get like this,
but nothing effects me
quite like your kiss...
It leaves me yearning,
burning with desire,
and only your lips
can tame that fire...
He just does it for me!
May 2018 · 1.7k
Poem of Defeat
MeanAileen May 2018
This is not a love poem, my dear,
no....this is a poem of defeat.
To let you know you have won this war...
I give up....you have me beat.
I can no longer fight for your heart
while scraping my own from the floor.
I can't ask you to feel something you won't...
and I can't handle hurting much more.
Your will of disdain is so very strong
it's one I just can not break.
I thought I was worthy, but I was wrong...
was dreaming, but now I'm awake.
I've been running a race I just can't win,
chasing what will never be mine.
And at some point I fell, head over heels,
now I'm just running on borrowed time.
I think I thought there was something more,
a real connection between you and I...
And I guess I thought you felt it too,
I swore I saw that same spark in your eye.
But I'm just a fool and you a joker,
roles we both play well.
So where does our charade go from here?
I guess only time will tell...
Just a poem...
Mar 2018 · 1.5k
Olive Juice
MeanAileen Mar 2018
I wish you happiness
and I wish you peace,
I wish you fulfillment
even if not with me.
I wish you good health
and seldom a sorrow,
I wish you luck and wealth
and the brightest tomorrow!
I wish you success
and stress free days,
I wish you restful nights
and many other cliches...
I wish you a happy home
and a passionate wife,
I just wish you all best
in love, and in your life!
Just some words to wish someone special a happy day
Mar 2018 · 1.0k
All Night Long
MeanAileen Mar 2018
I could talk with you all night long,
your words, they never bore.
You're probably the most interesting man
that I have ever known before!
Your stories, they make me laugh...
Your theories, they make me ponder...
Sometimes your scandalous tales,
well, they make my ***** mind wander!
The confidence which you embody...
The principles by which you abide...
All that knowledge inside your head,
and that sweetness you try to hide!
Even your wry sense of humor...
All night long doesn't seem long enough!
That's what makes saying goodbye
to you, my dear, so very tough!
Just a ****** little poem I wrote the other night after getting off the phone with my guy...
Feb 2018 · 822
Someone New
MeanAileen Feb 2018
If I were given the chance
to become someone new,
I would choose to be a person
who never cared about you...

Someone who never knew
the sweet taste of your kiss,
or the touch of your hand...
little things I'd never miss.

I'd be someone, like those I envy,
who are confident & secure...
The type that make good decisions
and are immune to your allure.

A woman far too smart & savvy
to get tangled-up in the snare
of a cold, cruel and callous man,
who never once played the game fair.

I would be anyone other then me
to spare myself from the duress,
of loving you with all of my heart
knowing you couldn't care less.
He may be a ****, but I'm the ******* who loves him anyway.
Jan 2018 · 1.1k
sweater weather
MeanAileen Jan 2018
because you fit me...
my world looks brighter
my life seems better
my heart feels warmer
because you fit me...
like my favorite sweater.
Just some silly words...
Jan 2018 · 3.3k
Wasted
MeanAileen Jan 2018
Wasted all
of my precious time...
wasted on someone
who will never be mine.
Wasted my hours
and days and years...
wasted emotions,
pointless tears.
Wasted butterflies
and falsely felt joy...
wasted on a cold
and careless boy.
Wasted efforts
tried so hard in vane...
wasted thoughts,
get out of my brain!
Wasted dreams
and wasted desire...
wasted devotion
sworn to a liar.
Wasted my love
a love unrequited...
wasted inside,
broken and blighted.
Wasted my heart
was wasted on you...
wasted and beaten
and black and blue.
Justa dumb poem about a dumb person...
Dec 2017 · 4.3k
F-Mas
MeanAileen Dec 2017
Oh how I hate
this time of year,
with the ****** songs
and holiday cheer...
Annoying bell ringers
outside the store,
and the tacky wreaths
hanging on the door.
Cardboard calendars
filled with waxy treats,
ice and snow making
death traps of streets.
Frazzled parents
spending more then they should
on ungrateful kids
who are far from good.
Fake smiles & wishes
in the "spirit" of it all,
the bloated prices-
the crowds at the mall.
The hour long line
to see Santa the phony
who falsely promises
an x-box or a pony.
Having to gather
with family who annoy,
gifting another cheap
Chinese-made toy.
Fire hazards
strung with tinsel and lights,
tensions leading
to fun Christmas fights!
Secret Santas-
holiday parties for work-
**** sweaters
making you look like a ****.
The stress of having
an enormous shopping list
and a tiny budget
just makes me ******!
No, nothing seems jolly
or merry or bright...
Oh how I can't wait
till post-Christmas night!
My ode to the holidays!!
And no, I'm not a TOTAL Grinch, I just play one in November and December!!
Oct 2017 · 304
Today...
MeanAileen Oct 2017
Today's going to be a good day...
despite what the world has to say!
Even skies of grey
won't cloud my way
'cause I' m going to have a great day!
A little self motivation =)
Oct 2017 · 1.6k
Weak
MeanAileen Oct 2017
And still...
I hand you my heart
on a silver platter
for you to throw at the wall
just to watch it shatter
I'm so f'n weak when it comes to him...
Aug 2017 · 10.0k
Low Life
MeanAileen Aug 2017
***** *** and cigarettes
bad decisions, no regrets.
Painted lips and fingertips
lace, leather, gags and whips.
Cheap motels, steamy nights
sweaty flesh and candlelights.
Pushing limits, breaking rules
***** dips in swimming pools.
Getting high while living low
riding rails, pure white snow.
Playing games & telling lies
the look of **** in lovers eyes.
Rendevouz in seedy places
sloppy kisses, hot embraces.
Ménage à trios, or even four
anything goes behind locked door.
Shots of Jack make it all alright
just another dirt-bag night...
50% fiction...
Aug 2017 · 340
Tell Me
MeanAileen Aug 2017
Tell me how very ****** I am,
tell me I don't know ****.
Tell me it's only my imagination,
tell me not to trip.
Tell me what a fool I'm acting,
even tell me I'm a liar...
Just tell me that this time apart
hasn't put out the fire.
Tell me that I really don't see
love dying in your eyes.
Tell me all I've known to be real
wasn't just made up of lies.
Tell me that the desire is still there,
that passion is still alive.
Tell me something as strong as 'us'
knows only how to survive.
Tell me that the affection, now gone,
is something I still can feel.
Tell me that all my doubts and fears
are unfounded and unreal.
Tell me it's just my messed-up head,
tell me it's all a mistake...
Tell my feelings to stop hurting so much,
tell my heart not to break.
Tell me that you can't live without me
the way I can't without you.
Tell me how much you still do love me
though I'll know it's not true....
Just going thru some old notebooks and came across this one.  It's old, but I kinda like it
Aug 2017 · 569
Miss You
MeanAileen Aug 2017
I miss you in the morning, love
when the world is bright and new...
but that world will bring no joy,
because it brings no you.

I miss you in the daytime, love
where the sun beats heavy and hot...
but how can I find happiness there,
in a place where you are not?

I miss you in the evening, love
when darkness consumes the light...
and yet I see no pleasure in this,
because you're nowhere in sight.

I miss you in the mid-night, love
as the moon's silver light beams...
cold and alone I drift off to sleep,
and still, I miss you in my dreams~
An oldie...
Jul 2017 · 2.4k
Beneath the surface
MeanAileen Jul 2017
I'm not even sure who I am anymore...
I've become but a shell of myself, before.

And my eyes, once happy, look hollow and cold,
with a empty sadness that can't be consoled.

As loneliness grows, festering inside-
the hurt becomes much harder to hide.
 
Darkness has taken control of my heart...
quietly and completely, I'm falling apart.
 
Gathering shards of my broken soul,
I quickly forget what it is to be whole.
 
Life has lost meaning, but I no longer care.
I'm numb...I'm nothing- just dust in the air.
 
Yet envy eats at me, day and night
for those who exist without this fight.

Impassive I let all hope fade away,
knowing tomorrow will be just like today.
 
I am oh so weary from living as I do-
dear lord, let this end, I beg of you...
No matter how I tweak it, this poem never feels finished to me...
May 2017 · 533
Still miss you
MeanAileen May 2017
I don't know why I miss you so much
for you always seemed to make me sad.
Yet I ache to feel the warmth of your touch
and I long for the love we once had.

I miss the taste of your soft, sweet kiss,
and feeling your lips touching mine.
I have never known desire like this,
so raw, so deep, so divine.

I miss your fingers, how they would tease,
and your strong arms, holding me tight.
I miss how you always aimed to please
on those many 'a sleepless night.

I miss how your eyes touched my soul,
how your smile melted my heart.
Without you, dear, I'm half of a whole,
and inside, I'm falling apart.

I miss the smell, so uniquely your own
that is now just a faded memory.
I miss the affection that once was shown,
I miss loving you, loving me.

I miss hearing your voice speak my name,
and the soothing, comfort it brought.
I wonder....sometimes, do you feel the same?
Or am I just a passing thought?

I miss what was my very best friend,
my partner in crime & lover, too.
And although our story has come to an end,
I can't help but still miss you...
Another oldie, but I've always really liked it. Hopefully you did too!
May 2017 · 303
What if...
MeanAileen May 2017
What if I 
were to confess my love? 
How I believe 
you were sent from above... 
How I long 
to see your perfect face... 
How I ache 
to feel your warm embrace... 
How I melt 
when I feel your touch... 
How I hurt 
when I miss you so much? 
What if I 
were to tell you such things?
Would you be overcome 
by the joy it brings? 
Would you then confess 
you love me too, 
finally admitting 
what your heart always knew? 
Or would you laugh 
and throw it in my face, 
thinking it funny 
as I cry in disgrace? 
What if I 
kept it all locked inside, 
never to reveal 
my love, denied....?
This is an old one that came to me one day in the shower...lol
May 2017 · 4.6k
Foolish Wishes
MeanAileen May 2017
I wish that you loved me
but I know that you don't.
I wish your heart felt
something it won't.

I wish I had your attention,
your protection and time.
I wish there would come a day
when I could call you mine.

I wish that you wanted me
for more then just ***.
I wish I was the type of woman
a man like you respects.

I wish you could see things
the way that I do...
and felt all I feel,
and knew the things I knew.

I wish I made you happy
and fueled your inner fire.
I wish I were the one
whom you most desire.

I wish we could grow old
and grey together.
I wish I knew the meaning
of the word 'forever'.

I wish that you to loved me
the way that I love you...
But wishes are for fools
'cause they never come true.
Just a ****** little poem...
Apr 2017 · 410
My Monster
MeanAileen Apr 2017
It is always present
Dormant in my soul
Until it awakens
Seizing all control.
Crushing happiness
Infecting what's pure
Inflicting a pain
I've learned to endure.
Clouding thoughts
Enslaving my brain
Corrupting judgment
Till i feel I'm insane.
Stealing sunshine
Twisting my smile
Killing kindness
Leaving me hostile.
Ripping at my heart
With utmost aggression
It has awakened...
Hello again, depression.
Just another poem stemming from my depressed brain...
Apr 2017 · 392
A Day Without Rain
MeanAileen Apr 2017
I'm slipping, tripping-
forgotten how to stand.
Choking, drowning,
sinking like quicksand.

I'm aching, breaking-
feel my heart shatter.
Abusing, wasting,
this life, doesn't matter.

I'm failing, trailing-
always two steps behind.
Lying, cheating,
truth is vexing to find.

I'm choosing, losing-
decisions are always bad.
Longing, yearning,
for clarity I never had.

I'm falling, calling-
can no one hear me cry?
Dissolving, fading,
in the blink of an eye.

I'm waiting, anticipating-
the bottom can't be far.
Hoping, wishing,
on a lonely nights star.

I'm blending, pretending-
smiles mask the pain.
Begging, pleading,
for a day without rain.
Just a poem...
Mar 2017 · 674
Broken
MeanAileen Mar 2017
A broken face
yet the hate 
remains. 
Countless reflections-
self inflections
of pain.
Razor sharp
jagged shards-
my soul...
shattered apart
reckless heart-
no control.
But burning tears
can't hide
what I see... 
in that broken face-
the disgrace 
in me....
Not my best work, but they can't all be!!
Mar 2017 · 4.3k
Close My Eyes...
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Where are you going
my little one...
my precious son?
Why are you taking
my baby from me?

Close my eyes
and you're two...
Close my eyes
and you're four...
Close my eyes
and you're walking
right out of the door.

Where are you going
my little one...
my precious son?
You just keep growing
too quickly for me.

Close my eyes
and you're eight...
Close my eyes
and you're ten...
Close my eyes
and I just want
to hold you again.

Where are you going
my little one...
my precious son?
You've no way of knowing
how proud you make me.

Close my eyes
you're in school...
Close my eyes
and you're grown...
Close my eyes
and you're a father
precious son of your own.
This is more of a lullaby then poem. I used to sing it to my son when he was a lil guy. He's 22 now!!! Where does the time go?!
Mar 2017 · 9.0k
Dirty......a Haiku
MeanAileen Mar 2017
my ***** secret
moral intoxication...
addicted to him
His touch gets me high
Mar 2017 · 1.1k
Like You
MeanAileen Mar 2017
I truly do wish
I could be more like you,
to live life without regret.
Won't you teach me
how to do as you do?
I promise to never forget...
First, clarify
just how to fake love
so others see it as real.
Then drain my soul
until it's void of
any feelings it may feel.
Instruct my heart
how not to break,
and like yours, turn to stone.
I'd never know loss
with nothing at stake;
I'd never be hurting alone.
Now demonstrate how
to walk out and leave
without ever saying goodbye.
Do disclose how
you so easily deceive...
teach me just how to lie.
Train my eyes
to shed no more tears;
reveal where pain should hide.
Then teach me how
to confine my fears,
keeping them all locked inside.
I must know how
to ignore the ****
found in a passionate kiss.
Then un-teach my mind
the meaning of trust
so I'll never again feel like this!
Now explain how
I can forget our love,
make me believe it wasn't true.....
And then when I master
all the above,
then, I will be more like you.
This is an old one, but I've always been fond of it....
Mar 2017 · 864
numb
MeanAileen Mar 2017
beyond the happiness, beyond the saddness
somewhere out there amidst the madness
within the shadows and depths of black
beyond the point of no turning back
where all hope and dreams are lost
into the bitter and lightless frost
feeling nothing & loving no one
finally hitting the very bottom
battered a tattered soul lies
and all alone it slowly dies
innocence wasted away
happiness gone astray...
what have i become?
nothing, just numb.
Just some depressing words stemming from my depressed mind....
Mar 2017 · 800
Death of Beauty
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Love me not for what you see, my dear,
or for that which you can touch & hold.
For I'm not immune to the wrath of time,
one day I too will be old...  
My mahogany locks will turn to gray
and my youthful glow will have faded.
My vibrant smile, like a flower, will wilt,
and once sparkling eyes will seem jaded.
My skin may look like an ill-fitting suit,
and gravity will cease to be a friend.
Wrinkles will devour my pretty face,
good looks just a memory, in the end....
So love me not for what you see, my dear
let what is unseen be why.
Love beyond what you can touch & hold,
for one day my beauty will die.
Getting old *****!!
Mar 2017 · 737
Improper Haiku
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Forgotten flower
silently wilts -
May you have sweet dreams.
I'm quietly fading away....
Mar 2017 · 518
Sometimes I Forget
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Sometimes I forget
how innocent you still are.
With the soul of an angel,
you're my shining star.
As sweet as pure sugar
with a heart made of gold.
A miniature miracle
for my arms to hold.
Your purity and hope,
your limitless dreams...
Sometimes I forget
what being a child really means.
So live wild and carefree
and sing your heart out!
Laugh till your tummy hurts,
feel happiness throughout!
Dance like no ones watching,
let nothing dim your view...
Sometimes I forget
to let you, just be you.
So, on those bad days
when I'm grumpy or mad,
if I say, "knock that off!!"
and it makes you sad...
Just remember, I love you,
more then words can ever say!
For you are the sunshine
that brightens my every day-

Sometimes I forget...
I couldn't have asked for a better daughter! Love that girl
Mar 2017 · 1.0k
Not My Life
MeanAileen Mar 2017
I don't think this is my life
it seems more like a nightmere!
But when I rub my blurry eyes
I just can't make it disappear...
I used to feel the warm sunshine
now I am blinded by its light.
I used to lay my head to sleep
now days just bleed into night.
There was a time I always laughed
now it hurts my face just to smile.
I know I used to be someone,
but no one's seen her in awhile.
I remember I was once in love
and the soothing, comfort I felt.
Now I'm just mad....mad at the world
for the ****** up hand I was dealt.
I think I remember carefree days,
that was back when I had friends.
Living life just for tomorrow,
now I can't wait till my life ends.
I know I used to be truly happy
now I hide behind a mask of cheer...
I guess this really is my life
I'm just living a nightmere.
Life is rough
Mar 2017 · 616
Lost.....a haiku
MeanAileen Mar 2017
40 years on earth
Still can't seem to find my place...
When can I go home?
I like haikus...
Mar 2017 · 361
Dandelions & Dreams
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Sunlight gleaming, golden glimmer...
dragonflies flutter, iridescent shimmer.

Winter fading, new life showing...
winds of change gently blowing.

Wrapped in warmth, springs embrace...
rays of happiness dance on my face!

Blue skies, butterflies, distant laughter...
dandelions & dreams, chasing after.

Sleepy sidewalks sprinkled with pink...
yesterdays blossoms gone in a blink.

Amethyst, fuchsia, apricot, blush...
masterpiece sky by natures brush.

Willows weeping, growing shade...
crickets singing, twilight serenade.

Black & blue & glitter star-shine...
thieves of day, criminals benign.

Cheshire moon now grinning hello...
darkness falls, sunlight must go.
Just some words from the brighter side of my mind....
Also, the yin to the yang of another one of my poems called 'Darkness Falls'
Mar 2017 · 477
Darkness Falls
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Whispering winds, beyond breezing-
snow falls down....blowing, freezing.

Loneliness aids the tedious crying-
living, hating, loving, dying.

Pale skies with winter showing-
devours sunlight, shadows growing.

Fate it lurks, quietly calling-
yelling, running, screaming, falling.

Leaves chasing, nature stealing-
bitter flurry....whipping, reeling.

Rain dropping, falling, streaming-
whims & wishes, foolishly dreaming.

Nights so cold, never warming-
nightmares, you....ever swarming.

Dwindling light fades within-
darkness falls on a heart of sin.
Just some dark words from my weird brain....
It's also the yang to the yin of another one of my poems called 'Dandelions & Dreams'
Mar 2017 · 3.0k
Failure
MeanAileen Mar 2017
I try so hard
to do it all,
I try to measure up
to your standards.
I've done the best
that I know how,
but I guess my best
just isn't enough
for you.

I've compromised...
...I didn't do it right.
I've sacrificed...
...I didn't do enough.
I've given everything
that I have to give,
but I guess my all
just isn't enough
for you.

I'm losing my will.
I've lost all pride.
I've forgotten how
lovely it feels
being happy...
But you don't care.
Why would you?
I don't mean enough
to you.

Maybe if I try harder,
and break a little more...
Maybe one day
I will be enough
for you.
My only non-rhyming poem...
Mar 2017 · 26.7k
My Reality
MeanAileen Mar 2017
It's my best friend,
and my nightmere-
it's all that I love
and everything I fear.
It's my fulfillment,
my bottomless sorrow-
bringing dark thoughts
of no tomorrow.
It's my strength,
my greatest plight-
this evil addiction
I try to fight.
It's my oblivion,
my heartbreaking pain-
a toxic cloud
that's killing my brain.
It's my protection,
my paranoid lies-
the Devil himself
in crystal disguise.
It's my sanity,
my endless strife-
this methamphetamine
destroying my life.
It's my reality,
my make-believe bliss-
I just never imagined
I would end up like this....
Truth be told....
Mar 2017 · 316
Misery
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Tear drops falling
drowning in sorrow
wipe away each one for me~
Just keep me laughing
today....tomorrow
spare me form this misery~
Just some sad words...
Mar 2017 · 12.3k
YOU
MeanAileen Mar 2017
YOU
YOU hurt me in ways
like no one else before,
cutting me deep-
right down to the core.

YOU beat me up
without lifting a hand,
reminding me exactly
where I stand.

YOU love to **** with me
building my hopes-
making me the ****
of all of your jokes.

YOU shove your money
and life in my face,
finding it funny
that my life's a disgrace.

YOU give me your love
just to rip it away-
an unworthy ****
in the game you play.

YOU think that I'm ****
I'm well aware,
to all the others
I just don't compare.

YOU treat me like I'm
a worthless ****,
barely good enough
for you to ****.

YOU boldly look me
straight in the eyes
and feed me so many
******* lies.

But please don't stop,
I love it this way!
Choking on every
cruel word you say....

For I am too spineless
to ever stand tall,
and I'd rather feel pain
then nothing at all.
I'm a sucker for punishment, I guess....
Mar 2017 · 2.1k
unrequited
MeanAileen Mar 2017
i know heartache
but this.....is more
painful punishment
never felt before...
a ruthless torment
my heart blighted
damage derived from
love, unrequited
It hurts....
Mar 2017 · 18.6k
I Am...
MeanAileen Mar 2017
I am warmhearted and icy cold,
with a pretty face that's getting old.
I am fragile yet tough as a man,
struggle thru life with no real plan.
I am petite and cuss like a trucker,
slightly naive, but I'm no sucker.
I am a sinner with a halo of gold,
an open book with secrets untold.
I am a hypocrite but always play fair,
a bleeding heart and I don't care.
I am a mother who acts like a child,
crazy, impatient and easily riled.
I am spontaneous and I am a bore,
forever forgiving, I still keep score.
I am unstable and wonderfully wise,
a ****** deviant in sweet disguise.
I am creative and self-destructive
naturally skilled and unproductive.
I am awkward and well refined,
lost, insightful and a little love-blind.
I am respected and I am addicted
shamed by burdens, self inflicted.
I am a perfectionist and I am a slob,
unbiased and shallow, an inept snob.
I am nocturnal, a creature of night,
blissfully ignorant, typically right.
I am cautious and I have no fear,
a loser and quitter, still I persevere.
I am brilliant and easily amused,
over-zealous and under-enthused.
I am impervious with wounds to heal,
a habitual liar just keepin' it real.
I am witty and weird and mean-
I am what I am.......100 Aileen.
A lil bit about who I am...
Mar 2017 · 261
Time Served
MeanAileen Mar 2017
I've decided I'm through
I simply want out,
please give back to me
my life.

What I'm saying is true
I have no doubt,
I never want to be
your wife.

You've caused me much pain
given me such grief,
you alone have broken
my heart.

Things will never be the same
I now live in disbelief,
as promises you've spoken
fall apart.

I've taken all a woman can
of your heartless ways,
as my single remaining dream
has died.

You insecure and selfish man
with your jealous craze,
You're not at all what you seem,
you lied.

I gave to you, my everything
it was never enough,
always wanting much more
from me.

I can not go on pretending
so I call my own bluff,
what tomorrow has in store,
I'll see.

In this relationship I only gave
never once did receive,
the sweet love and attention
I deserved.

I will not be your heart's *****
so today I must leave,
this hateful facility of detention....
time served!
This is old, but I've always liked it...hope you do too!
Mar 2017 · 373
end.
MeanAileen Mar 2017
window panes in the dark
secrets locked within...
twisted whispers whirl about
dance the dance of sin.
broken mirror on the floor
yesterdays hope reflected...
dreams dangle from a noose
forbidden love rejected.
cinders pop beneath the hearth
vacant words to vapor...
crimson color stealing sight
blood of her hearts *****.
nevermore she softly sung
while razor slipped into flesh...
pleads for help screamed unheard
as body made final thresh.

end.
Just a dark little poem...
Mar 2017 · 2.9k
A Fools Fairytale
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Once there was a foolish girl
who started to play with fire,
soon was consumed by the flames
of infidelity, **** and desire...
Choosing a path she didn't know
would lead her straight to ****.  
But she had become too careless,
so she stumbled and then she fell....
head over heels and going fast
the foolish girl lost all control.
Blindly she followed her fool heart,
betraying a loyal boys soul.
Chasing after what wasn't hers
was a race she would never win,
but she refused to give up,
drunk on the adrenaline.
Ignoring the boy she had at home
spinning her web of lies,
blissfully ignorant of the suspicion
that lived behind his blue eyes.
Had she known, she still wouldn't care
for she found the prince of her dreams!
But, just like in all good fairytales
nothing is quite what it seems....
While her prince was charming indeed
something just didn't seem right.
His eyes were large and teeth, sharp
ready to take a big bite
of her heart, she had not a clue,
believing every poison word
dripping from his devious mouth,
which was really just quite absurd!
She was too blinded to see the truth...
her prince was a wolf in disguise!
But luckily for her, she was rescued
by her loyal boy with the blue eyes!
See, he had known all along
what the foolish girl just couldn't see.
He knew what the wolf was cooking up
and disaster was his recipe!
That foolish girl, she felt so dumb
having almost become his meal....
She kissed the boy and thanked him so
saying how bad she did feel
for lying to him, her loyal love,
and please, won't he forgive?
But the blue eyed boy just shook his head
saying, 'This is not how I'm going to live'....
See...there is no "Happily Ever After"
in a Fools Fairytale!!
Just a blue, blue eyed boy, a foolish girl
and a wolf left chasing his tail.

The End~
Just having some fun!
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