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MeanAileen Sep 22
load your gun
with a nice shiny bullet-
finger on the trigger,
be ready to pull it.
make sure the barrel
is aimed at my head,
then force me to eat
that hot molten lead.
paint my brains
all over the wall,
see my knees buckle-
watch as I fall.
my lifeless body
then covered in red...
told you that I'd be
better off dead!
I don't really know where this came from...? But I don't condone ******. Usually.
MeanAileen Sep 12
I catch myself seeking you out
when I know you're miles away,
and I hate myself for thinking about
you and your face everyday.
I wonder sometimes how you do it?
How you carry on without concern...
how you get so close but not feel ****?
That's something I wish I could learn.
Because loving you is killing me
but I don't know how to refrain,
and I know that you will never see
that it causes me so much pain.
Cuz I'm cursed with too much emotion,
and I'm fragile with a heart of glass,
I'm bound by a false sense of devotion,
and I can't let go of the past.
And I hate you for not loving me
and I know that just isn't fair,
I know I'm nothing....I'm nobody
for which you should even care.
I thought time would help subside
any feelings I had for you,
but they have only intensified...
I wish it wasn't true.
I'm sorry I ever started all this
it's something I truly regret,
but I'm still glad you gave me that kiss
it was one I will never forget...
Just another poem about he who's name shall not be spoken! Lol
MeanAileen Sep 9
~~
When that day is upon us
and we've run out of time,
when you tell me goodbye
and steal my sunshine...
After you break my heart
without a second thought,
leaving me in tears-
my stomach in a knot...
After you scar me with words
and call me a mistake,
after you shatter my world
leaving me to forsake...
After you walk out of my life
without ever looking back
on what we could've been
or on everything I lack...
Once you've used me all up,
after your final apogee...
I wonder, my dear,
will you still think of me?
~~~
Will you ever reminisce
on the moments we shared,
remembering me fondly
as one for which you cared?
Or will I haunt your dreams
at night as you rest,
plagued by emotions
you denied and repressed?
Will you be glad that I'm gone
and just let me disappear,
or will you yearn for my touch
and wish I was near?
Will a smile cross your face
when you picture my own,
or will it please you to know
that I'll be hurting alone?
Will you regret that night
when we first met,
or will that kiss be one
which you'll never forget?
Will it break your heart too
as it will surely break mine,
when that day is upon us
and we've run out of time?
~~
It breaks my heart knowing there is no forever for us...
MeanAileen Sep 7
one hundred degrees
mother nature sends a breeze
and flames to the trees
Summer time in Northern California...
MeanAileen Aug 25
only thing I want
one thing I will never have
and that is your love
Pretty self explanatory
MeanAileen Aug 22
I am nothing....nothing at all.
you don't notice me crying
you can't hear me call
you won't see me stumble
you don't care if I fall
because I am nothing...
nothing at all.
A poem about....nothing
MeanAileen Jul 5
I know that your heart is hers,
but my heart belongs to you.
You're not mine and you will never be,
yet my love for you is still true.
You lay your head next to hers at night
and you wake each day by her side.
You share your life and name with her
while I'm just a ***** secret you hide.
You give her all your time and support,
you have her back without question.
You give me just a couple dark hours,
behind closed doors for discretion.
You do everything to keep her happy,
you provide as a real man should.
You're a father like none I've ever known,
and your lovin' is better then good!
She got it all when she got you,
I would **** to be the one by your side.
I would **** to mean ANYTHING to you...
Lord knows how hard I've tried.
And she just takes it all for granted.
She doesn't cherish you as she should.
She doesn't hunger for every ounce of you,
which is something I never understood.
I just wish that things could be different.
I just wish you could love me a little bit...
But if after three years you feel nothing,
then it's clear I will never mean ****.
Pretty self explanatory...
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