I hate how many words I've wasted
Just thinking of you
How many poems pile
The washed away blood
In my bathroom tiles
Which have haunted me
Since I first spoke your name
A title so mistaken
It has a different ring to it
Nowadays

We are nonbelievers
Our skin sparkles in that light
We glow from past mistakes
And trauma fuels our fight

Never speak of pain
Or wear a wound on our face
We're better than that, mature
Mentality-a constant race

Emotions are a betrayal
Hints of suffering in our eyes
Pain dusted across our face
Lives being woven through lies

I am a nonbeliever
And with that, I stand tall
But a part of me decays
Every time I see another angel fall

I dream to fight you everyday
Because I hate it when you get your way
I dream to fight you every light
Because I can feel your betrayal
Every night

I dreamed to fight you
Like when waves hit the sand
And I'll keep dreaming
Every time I can't stand
Every single compliment you give
And each time you didn't let me live

I dream to fight you
Because I'm jealous of your roots
How you are still a child
And haven't had to deal with many of these truths
I dream to fight you
In each and every way
Kicking and screaming and yelling and punching
Until you listen to what I have to say

I dream to fight you
Because you know what I have lost
Yet you don't seem to blink an eye
Or realize how much of me it cost
And I'll dream to fight you
In every moon and, every sun
Because you think so low of me
But one day I will show you that I have won

The little girl that's deep in me
She doesn't know the things I've seen
A little stubborn, mostly passive
But when beaten down, just as savage

She didn't have demons to resist
With that, ignorance must be bliss
In hushed conversations, nothing but a delight
Certainly didn't wish for a better life

Endless story's didn't weigh her down
In therapeutic talks she wouldn't drown
She walked, head held high, confidence shown
Happiness spreading through different tones

Society couldn't pressure her to be normal
Nor getting bullied, looking formal
She smiled through lights and darkened days
But that was before she knew she was gay

I was told frowning caused wrinkles
When you were sad
Your childhood was wasting away

But now I know all emotions have a cause
That crying is only natural
Sadness isn't what makes our world turn gray

The man on the moon, you see
He has a few friends

He's perfect and broken
And is kind to no ends

I believe he is lonely
Floating gently in the sky

Even if you whisper him your secrets
He'll never tell you why

His pain is unmatched
Yet he's beautiful all the same

Even when he looks at perfect stars
He casts them no blame

And I find it comforting
Looking to him at night

For he taught me even in dark
There is a way to find some light

The miracle man
Made out of sand
Every grain-a wish to be true

A problem on the rise
The devil in disguise
Always been a single answer

"Honey don't stress
Quit your worries, ditch your plan
Just sit and wait
For the Miracle Man"

Watch your tongue
Just fade away
You're nothing
When the Miracle Man comes
To save the day

The sins you wove
Secrets you told
By night all is done
New problems begun
The children's cries
Your tortured lies
All is nothing, with the Miracle Man

Keep up your crimes
In these pitiful times
When every misdeed
Is always undone
Hand in hand, we'll all stand
Rise and praise, the Miracle Man
Made out of sand
All your wrongs, are made to none

So, come on honey
What holds you back?
From endless joys
Your personal attacks
Every crime you create
Turned to another shiny toy
No more misfortune
Consequence can wait
And the only price
Is one miserable tole

Disfigure your life
To fit our needs
And when all is said and done
We'll watch as you bleed
Happy and open
No pressure in sight
There's no darker times
No need for the light
We'll welcome you in
With open arms  
The puppet to our plan
Is all you can be
Another figure
To fit society

So come on, now
Isn't it fun?
You're life torn away
Dependent on no one
Your meaningful entity
Turned to a worthless grain of sand
Well, there's no turning back now
For you're at the courtesy
Of the Miracle Man

A waving rifle
In a pain struck hand
A lonely boy
He forgot how to stand
A knife of beauty
Cut in his flesh
A trail of blood
New and fresh
A single breath
Taken today
Before he tried
To run away
A single pill
To end it all
A final hope
To jump and fall
A new letter
He didn't know why
A single phrase
"Please don't die"

A lonely girl
In a mistaken world
Another fight
About to unfurl
A single dream
Of another life
A large hope
To be more than a wife
A smile curving
Up on her lips
A plan folding out
In careful strips
A pen she finds
Carefree on the floor
A paper she grabs
Then walks out the door
A little plea
She sends through the air
Then throws it in
Without a care
A hurting boy
Will read this too
And she hopes he knows
"I care about you"

Call me scarred
Call me hurt
Call me trapped
Say what needs to be heard
Hit me till I'm down
Scream in my face
Watch me fall
Say I'm a disgrace

I won't listen

Tell me I'm broken
Ruin my day
Break my legs
Lock me away
Say I'm disgusting
Call me the devil
Remind me of horrors
Throw me down
On so many levels

I wont listen

Say I'm a sinner
Some soul-****** monster
Hate me
Take me
Try to break me
Feed me lies
Show me enemies
Plan my demise

I won't listen

Steal my eyes
And all I love
Rob me of a home
Of confidence
Make bullets rain
From above
Burn my body
Call me a demon
Take all I know
Put me in pain
Say my ideas will plummet

I won't listen

Hurting I am
But that's just
The everyday life
Of a suffering little poet

No more numbers
These cries into the night
Unheard gunshots
And fatal consequences
That drowned out the light

A mind so broken
Pieces apart on the floor
Another statistic
Lost away
And all we ever do
Is watch the blood poor

Is it wrong
To not know what's next
After building up a reputation
To always be the one who knows
And never asks for anything in return
Not once
Is it wrong
To not have any advice
When everyone believes I am healed
That I speak truths
From my harsh past
And shed light
On every other trauma
So is it so, so wrong
To have helped every other person
Yet be at a loss of words
When I'm with you

To me, you speak
"Oh dear, give me your heart"
"Why should I?"
You look at me softly
A wistful gleam
In the surface
Of your right eye
A smile curving
Up on your lips
Just barely
A traitorous sight indeed
As you slowly say
"Because I gave you mine"