Dark skin* always out for blood
White skin* assumed to be filled with hate and guilt for not wanting their blood  *drained

One moment
One day
Just give me a reason
To ******* away

Pull and pull
Till I rip
Separate me
Sew me back
But I will never be the same
How much can you break me before everything has changed?
This was far out of my range
But you were willing to stretch the restrains
Rearrange my brain
Drive my being insane
I'mma say it all plain
Breaking is an ordinary thang

Love eventually leaves
*Hearts eventually bleed...

Won't be able to **** **** no moe
Won't be able to talk **** no moe

Not everything or everyone is for a lifetime
But for a season
Sometimes you come across them only for a certain reason
Learning is caring, cruel
Knowledge is carrying wisdom to the fool
The personal price is set once you take the risk

Just breathe
If you can't do anything else
Just breathe
Even if I have to do it for you
Just breathe

Brick
Brick
Brick
Falls
Building a house
Building an empty home
That you will always live in
Where you try to fill the house with your comprehension
But without intentions
You trap yourself
You become your Hell
But some will never tell
The time you spent in jail

My broken glass rose
I collected all the petals
But someone took them away from me
Why?
Why did she take them away?
It wasn't even bothering her
And now I just have one left
But it's more broken than the others I had
She doesn't want me
not like I care anymore
But I am your kid and you are my mother
And not a good one either
You hate me cause I like guys
Threw a knife at me and told me to **** myself
bleed yourself dry you said
But I'm still here and you hate me
You've taken all my glass petals and only left me one
One that was more broken than the others
Just like you you said
And left the room
My broken glass rose is all gone
Cause you've now taken the last piece of it
and me along with it
And she's thrown them all away

He's playing broken records and looks into a broken mirror
Enjoying the prefect distortion of his face and
        his
                   smile
A grin that matches his personality so perfectly
His reflection's so **** no matter what mirror it's in
He blows out so gently
                  Shushing
The wind from the window sill
And staring at the shards that currently holds his reflection
He warms himself with black embers and stone

Build me up to use me,
Tear me down to abuse me.

Notice the burning of a cigarette leaves a lifeless hollow shell
Just like a star
Just like the me you know so well
It,
Leaves behind ashes,
Leaves behind dirt,
Leaves behind lashes,
Leaves behind hurt.
Just like the burning of a cigarette leaves behind air so toxic
A burning star like me, will leave behind such losses.

Do me a favor
Save me some time
Write down those lies
At least I can shine a light on it to determine whether it's see through

I'm confusing me
I want things
But I know I don't deserve them so I don't allow myself to have it
I desire them so much
I doubt I will ever have it though
I confuse me so much
No wonder that's all I see

Everybody says "It's your life, take control of it."
Yes, quite indeed it's my life
And naturally, the controls comes with limitations
I keep falling back into bad habits
And each time I fall in I only get worser
"But Chalsey, you shouldn't let life limit you."
Limit me?
Well, I don't know how much of me there is.
Maybe this is all anyone gets
Maybe there isn't much more to me
*Maybe I am at my limit

What could have been
Would never happen
I smile at day dreams
While the sky keeps laughing blue

"Everyone wants to attach labels. Heaven forbid we actually love and live as we please."

It's crazy what people do in the extreme when they put themselves in the pit of it

I know how maddening it is to listen
But it's ten times worse when you're the one talking

Crazy talk right?
It's even more questionable when you walk it
So unbelievable to the non-crazies

Hopefully my memory never fails me

You were, for a moment, my favorite read
Even believed, that, for a moment you were my personal creed
I gave good advise, if you only had listened to my heed
No amount of meed
Can pay back everything and succeed
But my heart it feeds
On nothing it ever needs
These feelings that breed
Nothing I want to feel indeed
Numb my anxiety with all this ****
I can't wait to pass the deed
I'm sweating bullets in constant beads
For my moment in the lead
My beautiful brilliance will be keyed
And my emotions can be freed
I can't wait for that special someone who'll have me queened

I support gay people
I am also pansexual
Won't you do the day of silence too?

My love is in spite
I didn't want this, right?
I had to let go of my kite
It wasn't doing me right
With you, everything happened at first sight
Everything you said were such dead trites
Should I even trust my eyesight?
I knew you were a lie
Just unsure of our measure of time
You were so sour, like lemons and limes
But what's happened happened
Whatever tears that's fallen has been washed away in rain
I bet I'd have that power if I had the patience of a crane
I'm discussing the matters of my brain
Forcing my body to sit on the crossroads for the next train
Aren't my emotions such a drain.
I wish the good in my heart was larger than a piece of grain
But, Pain,
Let the voices that's lain
Lose this little ferocious game
I'd give everything to be able to only forget my name
And everything society has ingrained

So, this is the moment you become the most light and empty?
Why do you have to be so homely?
Baby, you don't see how your heart has value
Someone wants it,
Someone needs it
Don't let your heart be your prison or your poison

Yours truly, *not me...

Stomp on the breaks!*
There's this invisible wall you were about to crash into.
Turn around, take a left, maybe we'll be safe there.
I honestly don't know where we are,
I've been all over this place a million times but it changes so much I couldn't give you correct directions for ****.
I ain't got no map
No GPS, no uber.
Couldn't hear that, say it a little clearer?
Why don't we just go back?
What you want isn't here
Double back, take a wack
I shouldn't always make suggestions
This was your idea
I didn't want any complications.
Down the roads,
Up the rivers,
I found fool's gold
And you caught the shivers
What are we even trying to find?
We'll know once you see it, they said.

How are you doing?
Me?
Well if I told you the truth you'd be ready to leave
You, sorry I haven't called
But you never would have answered anyway
You, yeah you
Why don't you call me for once?
Or did I just ignore your number because of its unfamiliarity?
Hm
You should call more often so that I can know it
Send me letters so that I may know your words

Well maybe
Maybe you shouldn't do these things
It'll only make me miss you more
And it'll just make you want to push or run away from me

Death's welcoming arms
his warm embrace
him closing in on your soul
giving you the illusion of peace and warmth
you feel your heart beat slowing down
you try to fight it but you can't
Death feels so good but you can still feel the pain of being alive
you feel the darkness in your eyes
and the chill down your spine
you strain your voice to say something
Something like: "Please...forgive me" or "I... love you" or sometimes nothing at all
You let out your last breath and the person leaning over you is screaming and crying out your name, and you can hear it fading away as Death calls you
His song loud and beautiful and his voice warms you
He carries you in his arms and you wrap your arms around his neck
you close your eyes and wait for the beginning of your end

I've a heart full of dead roses
For lost loves I've never chosen
I pleaded with death and jumped over the devil
I'm telling you now, it's a whole bunch of trouble
Keep in mind, I am insane
I told you, I poured the pills down the drain
Please believe me
This disease is so ******* deadly
My mind, it totally upsets me
Cranking me down into something so deathly
Can you see me, when I'm just around the corner of your eye?
Truth comes proden sly
Can you hear the ringing inside?
If you do, that's just a sign
You're going insane with me
The flowers fill out and cover the smell of the deathly

Not only is it a disease that destroys your body
*It destroys your heart and soul as well

I think I am far more satisfied with my dreams than anything in reality. I am prone with reality.

Tear stained face
Blood shot eyes
Blood stained arms and legs

Destroying yourself is so easy it hurts

Hands are too slippery for the razor you try to hold
Blood turns brown as it dries
Trying to clean up the bathroom floor and sink so it's not so obvious
Nothing works
The razor can only make it better as it eats into your skin

*My legs are dangling off the edge, stomach full of pills that didn't work again.
Gone too far, yeah I'm gone again. It's gone on too long, I'll tell you how it ends. I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends. One's a bottle of pills and one's a bottle of gin. My frienemy's behind me, and his name is sin.

I need to practice the art
Of letting go irrelevancy
My mind is overthinking my past
Overprocessing my future
I'm keeping myself in a constant loop
And getting absolutely nothing good from it

If there's different types of love,
Then there can definitely be different types of trust

I ponder
I wonder
The streets of my mind
The heat of what's mine
If you have ever lied
If I will ever cry
Nope nope
Just something to think about on the streets of my mind
If you ever plan to walk down my roads
Just know,
They have no direction
So you will never be lost
You will never be found
*In the streets of my mind
On the roads of what was mine

Parents act like they've never been children
Just like teachers act like they've never been students.

Don't judge my outer shell
Don't judge the marks or scars on my skin
Don't judge the look in my eyes as you spit the words of sin
Don't sear your judgements in my brain
Yeah ok, you think I'm insane
I hope you know that this inner pain does it
The pain you cause and from many others
So don't judge the tears that stream down my face
Sad angels cry the most
An angel as sad as I deserves to let these tears fall
So don't judge my outer shell
Don't judge it at all
Don't say I'm mental and insane
You don't know what has happened to me or what I've been through
So don't judge my outer shell
Till you've looked within me
Maybe then you'd see why I'm like this
Maybe then this will shatter your killing spree

I have a secret, don't you ever share it
I have a secret and I can barely bare it
I don't say it out loud
Don't let it whisper from your lips
Don't let it slip
Don't let it fall like the rain you set fire to
Don't have it leave like the person who abandoned you
Don't even think it
Don't even blink those tears into existence
Don't do anything
Just like society does everything

Doubt,
My old girl
You've been my middle man
But I need to switch insurance companies
Sorry this isn't what we planned
You let my health get out of hand

Do you know what it feels like?
To imagine killing people, and then feel slightly guilty after thinking so
Do you know what it feels like?
To hurt yourself feeling you deserve it, and afterwards you regret it
Do you know what it feels like?
To be a lesser being, to not even matter that the world doesn't hear you screaming
Do you know what it feels like?
To want to rip your own heart out, to stop the feeling, to stop the pain, to rid the burden, and the heavy rain
Do you know what it feels like?
**To be on the outside of every single thing

Why can't I dream for one night
Without seeing someone's after life

Why can't I dream for one night
Without seeing someone's future in my mind

Why can't I dream for one night
Without knowing what I dream

Why can't I dream for one night
Where what I dream ~even the nightmares ~ is better than my reality

Why can't I dream for one night
*And and never wake from it again

Life's a terrible nightmare
A terrible dream
That keeps on going
Going till you leave
Death is your wakening for the real thing
*Death is the truth the moment you die, the moment you leave

Drip drip
I'm lying in bed
It's freezing cold
With only a thin blanket to cover me

Drip drip
There's a window right beside me
The sun is rising
I can feel the light on my skin, but it gives me no warmth

Drip drip
I'm me
Then I'm my other me

Drip drip
I am so cold I no longer shiver
My lips are blue
My skin pale white porcelain
My body is stiff
Can't move

Drip drip
The heat from my body leaves me with every exhale

Drip...drip
I can't feel my body

Drip....drip
My eyelids close slowly
I'm sleepy

Drip.....drip
Am I dead?
Cause I can't feel a thing

Drip......drip
I can still hear the water dripping

Drip.......drip
I can't feel myself breathing

*Thump Thump Thump
Cold death's door is waiting
I hear no dripping
I hear it no more

I'm driving off the cliff into the oceans of insanity

I got off easy
I realized the consequences were so little, it could be nothing
If I wanted it to
It can easily never have happened,
If I wanted it to
I could easily get rid of this confusion
I know myself
Myself could never understand
But I understand this,
*You only exist when I want you to

I envy the girls with small hands and small feet
Long hair and everything petite
I have large hands and large feet
Short hair and everything big about me
Some girls envy my height
Some girls envy my large hands cause they're good in a fight
I'm a writer, not a fighter
I'm not in a padded ring
I'm walking my way down blue lines of offering
The offering that takes me
It takes my writer's blood as offering
And it's never ending
I'm thankful for the pages that hold me
They're the reason I'm staying together
They are the reason I haven't fully fell a part yet

*And the ropes are slowly thinning away into nothing

I had an epiphany
It was so strange
I was looking at everything in a different way
Nothing was wrong with me!
I suddenly realized
There's something wrong with everyone else, not I!
I still may not be beautiful or perfect or anything
But I do know that there isn't a ****** thing wrong with me
I figured it out, and nearly gone insane
But it numbed me instead of exploding my sanity
I felt everything and nothing
My mind was moving and wondering the same things
The answers unknown
The questions never asked
Nothing made sense, because people's brains are dead
*They would say I'm insane for everything in my head

The sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe

No one gets to come in
I am trapped inside my everflowing heart
The way it flows with my emotions it feels like I'm drowning
I'm drowning in envy,hate,and depression
My everflowing heart is drowning me in its boiling waves,snuffing out my every breath of relief
It pulls me down in its ever changing current
pushing and pulling my mind out of the equation
pulling me out from inside,I try to escape my everflowing heart
My heart traps me in these rushes of icey and lava showers and currents
And I can never swim away,it grabs hold of my arms and legs and pulls me down
It pulls me down till I'm almost crushed with its weight
The weight of all the pain and the hurt,the misery and the rush
My everflowing heart
Boils on the embers of my pain and weariness
And freezes on the ice of my fears and losses
The fears that crawl into my heart and creep into my mind
My everflowing heart freezes me in my fears, freezes me in my losses
Under its weight I'm frozen,it shifts its current and breaks me to pieces
My everflowing heart
it boils and freezes,
it pushes and pulls,
and breaks and shatters me apart
with its currents and an ever changing moon that controls it with a broken heart that once belonged to someone else

The moon gave up her light to the sun and that's why the moon isn't fully lit. The sun shown his light on the moon cause of what she did for him and he loves her for it, he dies every single night to show his everlasting love for her. She comes to life at night to help people like she live, and she shows the spot light the sun has given her.

Everybody's out for blood in 2017+