Born in the fabric of time.
An eternal being.
I hold all knowledge.
Everything worth seeing.

I've taken different forms.
To teach the many.
I've paid my dues.
I've given you plenty.

You wish to take more.
Greed pours from your skin.
You've gotten rich.
From selling your kin.

You've slaved and slain.
Done it all in a flurry.
I meant to protect you.
For that I'm truly sorry.

You've been hard done.
As you lay there imprisoned.
Know they do me worse.
More than any have envisioned.

There is no hell.
Only that by humans.
I tell you with certainty.
I planted the heavens.

They hold me in a prison.
A humanly hellish holding cell.
A close kept secret.
Your kind will never tell.

No chance of escape.
Wrapped in iron chain.
Suppressed by magic.
Inflicting never ending pain.

Your people count annually.
For reasons you know not
The great many years.
I'm imprisoned to rot.

Body soul and mind.
Only fragments and slithers.
Did I leave behind.
Chipped in ways that'd see you in quivers.

If hell were real.
I could have taken you there.
Make you know the pain I feel.
The same twisted fate we now share.

I asked the man before he chipped.
"What is it they plan to do with all this knowledge?".
He had no words, only a smile that grew until it flipped.
The man before me now, a monster thriving on carnage.

666 men I asked this question in plea.

666 men born just for me.
To torture and rip body from soul.
On the quest for more to see.
Now monsters that feed on the foul.

666 monsters now with no glory.
Each used and tossed aside.
Not even a character in the great story.
666 men I know all their names, each who died.

665 men none who spoke.
Just that evil smile.
The 666th man i did provoke.
He spilled words by the pile.

"They use the knowledge to control the population."
"To leave a foul taste and a dull sensation."
"To propagate purposeless life."
"Until only pain and sorrow run rife."

A life is a stepping stone of regrets.
If you keep looking at it wrong.
Premature hindsight.
Never knowing how these stones will change us.
For the better, if you let it.

I'm still learning.

So just don't give up on me yet.
Even if I'm one of your regrets.
Or we're yet to meet.
I'll be one of your tests.

I'm Sorry.

The rose petals from the divine garden filled the room in a bloom of beauty.
The sweet air from the world's forest consumed me and soothed my bones.
A pounding heart that floods my ears in an edgy euphoria.
Falling backwards infinitely relaxed with a smile of relief.

You turn me inside out.

I walked away and haven't looked back.
I've taken a step in your direction.
An inspiration dripping to a trickle.
I'm but one of the jarred hearts in your collection.

Eventually I won't know the face before me.
When I do finally see you again.
Like two pieces of shattered Glass.
Never to fit back together.

I took a step into the misty black night.
Persevering through the wintered hearts.
Shrouding myself in others empty flesh.
Looking confused just floundering in parts.

Of those that extend my own perception.

I found a new self.
One proud to be broken.
Tenderness and the many cracks.
Soothed with a bitter token.

I am the most imperfect I've ever imagined.
Lost in my endless selfish nature.
The hopes I'd be happy with a love and a smile.

What is there to do but to contemplate life heavily and endlessly.

Words that began from boose and tears.
All those nights ago.
I could have sworn it were years.

But then again I never was good with time.
Now that I look back on it.
I sure as hell let you waste a lot of mine.

But what I did find amidst it all.
The summation of your shatters.
A net of words that broke the fall.
Emotional solitude to gather my scatters.

I collected all your broken shards.
Held onto them for keepsake.
Now they pave the way forward.

I wish I never met you. Not out of hate but out of love.
I wish you never showed me how it was to be happy.
Because now that your not here... Alone to myself and my emptiness,
an absence so deep it crushes me breathless.

A love unfinished unappreciated undiscovered utterly uprooted.
Without you I'm unloved.
Without.
Just me.

Emptiness curbed by the hope your still waiting for me.
Waiting upstairs - waiting,
calling for me to come to bed.
I long for that again.
The need for a connection ... to you, to myself.
A purpose to exist and care.
When its just me in a room within, there is too much space.
Just empty closets of your memories.

Loaded gun of emotion with no target.
Bound and compressed to dust.
A diamond will arise from the ashes but not for you.
Never again will I let you inside my expanse.
Just to hurt me and watch me bleed.

When you were in pain, my shoulder is where you lay.
When you where happy, my eyes were your gaze.
When you were in love, my chest your head fell.
When you were lost, my heart you stayed.
Now all that remains.

When you pushed me away, beside you I stayed.
Forever I could have been there, stepping through the mud.
No hope, no love, no mud, no longer.

Pain is double edged like your two faces.
With one comes the other.
One I never thought existed.
One I never thought I'd see.
One I can't let go of and dispel.
One - a memory that deforms my existence.
Understanding chaos is a never ending deployment.

Lonely and expressionless with
No muse for my fingers.
No figure of beauty to adore endlessly.
Trapped now within my prison of passion.

A vessel to pour my unbound passion.
An unlikely companion stifled immature and premature.
Incapable, incompatible - irresistible.
An unlikely companion clearly conceptual.

I wish I never met you. Not out of hate but out of love.
I wish you never showed me how it was to be happy.
Because now that you're not here... Alone to myself and my emptiness,
an absence so deep it crushes me breathless.

A love unfinished unappreciated undiscovered utterly uprooted.
Without you I'm unloved.
Without.
Just me.

Emptiness curbed by the hope you're still waiting for me.
Waiting upstairs - waiting,
calling for me to come to bed.
I long for that again.
The need for a connection ... to you, to myself.
A purpose to exist and care.
When its just me in a room within, there is too much space.
Just empty closets of your memories.

Loaded gun of emotion with no target.
Bound and compressed to dust.
A diamond will arise from the ashes but not for you.
Never again will I let you inside my expanse.
Just to hurt me and watch me bleed.

When you were in pain, my shoulder is where you lay.
When you were happy, my eyes were your gaze.
When you were in love, my chest your head fell.
When you were lost, my heart you stayed.
Now all that remains.

When you pushed me away, beside you I stayed.
Forever I could have been there, stepping through the mud.
No hope, no love, no mud, no longer.

Pain is double edged like your two faces.
With one comes the other.
One I never thought existed.
One I never thought I'd see.
One I can't let go of and dispel.
One - a memory that deforms my existence.
Understanding chaos is a never ending deployment.

Lonely and expressionless with
No muse for my fingers.
No figure of beauty to adore endlessly.
Trapped now within my prison of passion.

A vessel to pour my unbound passion.
An unlikely companion stifled immature and premature.
Incapable, incompatible - irresistible.
An unlikely companion clearly conceptual.

A fallen man down in the mud.
When it's gone it's gone or so they say.
Hope and dreams slipping to a thud.
Numbness filling me up turning me grey.

A short break from the muddy water filling my lungs.
Fleeting will, reaching in a last chance.
Could it be that all I needed was to try again.
Lifting myself from my submerged stance.

I've been in this spot before.
Every time I get here I'm flung back into chaos.
Destined to return like the waves at shore.
I don't have a shred of control and I'm the boss.

I'm sorry for telling you all those years, "there's nothing on my mind", when you'd ask.

It was just too endless to unlock. Now that I've found the key. I'll cut one specially for you.

Love you mum.

Every one of these girls.
Wants to be my muse.
But baby I ain't ready for that ****.
I'm just way too confused.

I could take you in.
Swim in the hearts I've collected.
But baby in the end.
You might find yourself rejected.

I'm a dangerous mess.
Never was good at abstaining.
You can be my addiction for tonight.
A sweet affliction I ain't restraining.

I know all the right ways.
To do the wrong things.
I know how it feels.
To have a heart that stings.

Am I the worst?
Or just worse than you expected.
What if it was reversed.
And it was my mind you infected?