sometimes i wonder when i cry, does god listen
but maybe i should quit crying
go back to rutland, where we all suffer
where we all ache bullet wounds
named after our mother
where we all love snow and
it often rains
so when the sun does come
it's a subtle pain
warmth unfamiliar
unaccustomed to change,
unprotected from the elements,
we are all one in the same-
the sisters and brothers
from the other side of the tracks
who got unlucky and missed the train.

sometimes i think god just went blind
or maybe he forgot our names
but at least we take cover in
the trauma of one another,
our broken bones
and broken veins

sometimes i wonder when we cry, does god listen
if we can ever heal in the arms of each other
if we shattered the sky could we
stop the rain

I get ****** into expectations
I'm 25 but can't tell you what faith is.
I shut down when I think about saying no,
I guess I still care about what my family knows.

I'm 25 but 12 inside,
I don't know myself and tend to hide.
I have taxes, bills, a dog; my own life
But I'm still the girl who escapes online

I hate to hear their judgements; their insights
I try to connect through words
But say the wrong things,
and get lectured through sighs.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong,
I've tried and tried to find the cause,
I'm so frustrated, but go in circles
I keep looking for our bond.

What I really want is to disappear
Shut my eyes to the relief of tears.
To wake up as strums in the air,
To be a part of my own song.

I’m a small fish in a small pond
with a small wish before I’m all gone
for a small kiss and your big wand
to install bliss through magic so strong
it makes me feel I might actually belong.

Two sickly birds,
In their nest of salt,
And it's not their fault.
What do they know?

sitting on warm wall
small fly is sleeping dreaming
a cognizant mind

Seeing how often you minimize our relationship,
you can’t blame me for thinking us into nothing

from inside to out
i fill all the universe
i am very small

i'm lying in the grass, looking at a cloud,
it seems to be looking at me,
intently does not move,
suddenly, like an angry man, with chaotic movements,  angry begins the disintegration into a hazy color,
disappears like smoke,
not far away are some large stones also lying in the grass,
on one of them i see a cat, it looks at me with bright eyes as if it sees me from far within,
i keep looking into the void,
two dragonflies make love and how in ******* jolts they die together, oh
ugh

- Silence
disturbed by crickets,

(like a spectator lying in the grass, i suddenly startle and hope not to step on any living creature or
dead, but
only grass knows)