I can't love you
because loving you is wrong
it's a sad, beautiful, romantic song.

you tell me not to fight the feeling
but you're sick and kind of contagious
my health you're killing.

you are no Angel of mine
so, I can't love you right now
nope, not during this time.

My God does not approve
you are the sin my heart will never choose
this will always be the right move.

cherry pie is warm and all
and wood is hard and tall
I tripped on lust
what a fall!

confused emotions
witches potion
lost in motion
strange notion.

tainted thoughts I'm closing
old flames I'm hosing
hand picked by God
time to start living like I'm chosen!

Cigarettes,

cancer is realer
than a white skinny killer
they are not a joke
they burn her throat
guess she likes to choke.

Life slips away with every puff
every ****,
but she give no f*
she happily tastes death
in every breathe.

Life is that crazy girlfriend
who you'll never trust
She's never satisfied,
and you're not always up for a rush.

Life is that insecure boyfriend
who wants you to stay by his side to the very end
but you've got places to see
he doesn't understand where you've been.

Life is a that mother,
who'll you always want to please
only to realize you have to be you
and meet your own needs.

Life is that dad, that many of us never had
confused emotions, happy and sad
life was a female dog, cute
but deadly when mad.

at night the pills hit me
like the wreck of train.

I smile, I recall your face
high as hell, but I remember your name.

I replay your sweet voice,
in my chaotic brain.

love is life for me,
but for you it's just a game.

no, it's not healthy
but it's keeping me sane.

Drinks at day,
pills at night.

it's all that gives me peace,
with them I don't have to fight.

I never feel closer to Jesus,

than when people mistreat me.

And I hope to see you before I go,

I have secrets and some you should know.

Like this feeling I had that began to grow,

weighed my heart down quick, sinking it slow.

So, must see you before I go...

if I don't my life will reach an all time low.

pills to sleep
now I don't eat.

pills for anxiety
now I don't act like me.

pills for mood
so I don't seem rude.

pills for that
pills for this...

They'll forever be my friend
until I no longer exist.

new places she dreads going;

woe to the tired woman.

You kissed me
and I caught a virus
called lust.
You ran through my
Fever aching head
causing a seizure
I awoke and you were dead.

I coughed up dust
and your power disappeared,
I panicked, I feared.
It was over, I knew.
I sneezed
and out
blew you.

I counted my freckles today
            I had so many, I lost count.

One for each heartbreak
           some loser brought about!

today I read a depressing poem
and became depressed.

And I was in a good mood.

I'm afraid
But you'll never know.

I'm not happy
But it'll never show.

I wish you'd runaway with me
But you'll never go.

Today you will get this letter
Although I wrote it years ago.

choas was my childhood friend
I would always pray for our toxic relationship to one day end
now it's over, and I wish it could begin again.
teach me different lessons, give me wisdom
to avoid future grown up sins.

If I had a dad
he would be
Langston Hughes.

Jazz, daughter of
Mr. handsome blues
or Sir mulatto smooth.

heads would turn
as I stroll
the streets
looking pretty
while dancing
with the winds beats.

at sunset we would meet
laugh and retreat
cool us, in the heat.

Rhyming,
Singing,
and tapping our
Happy feets!

Dreaming is pricey
When bills must be paid
For this reason she loves darkness
Inexpensive lay

You left a child alone
First she felt weak
But now she's strong

So fragile as any child
Anger grew in her a long while
I recognize her pained smile

You left me alone
For far too long
My demons have grown

That innocent child is gone.

Brown eyes as big
as my heart

I wanted you from the
very start

but I maintained
and stayed in my lane

but when you spoke
I never heard a word you were saying

You may have guessed,
I'm a mess, obsessed with love & ***

I'm a little weird
I might need a shrink

when I'm around you
I never even blink

even when my knees grow weak
that face of yours
is the only help I'll seek.

At night
few things enter my head
one is you
another me
third is my bed
two are present
you are absent
your dark face
I do not see
show up beautiful monster
come from that closet
furfill my fantasy

the eve of evil
anguish anniversary
my sins remembered.
tossed and tormented
across the night
when will I win
this bitter fight?
may and june
comes too soon
during these times;
I cry to the moon
keep your madness
heal this loon!

my last crush was a Virgo,
no Angel but you gave me wings,
no musician but when you spoke,
I heart the sweetest birds sing.

You gave me hope,
to be who I was,
confused, deranged, and all
5'4 but you made me feel tall.

Then I got all crazy as I usually get
and you said enough,
you said that was it.
And like those before you...

you gave up on me,
you quit!
Now I'm like a ****** addict
when I think of you, I itch.

I wanted to see you smile a little more bit,
kisses, gifts, and picnics
at the park, romance and silly sh^t
it never happened, it was never meant.

It's all over because you're
a selfish little b^tch!
Cheers to you A-Hole,
and your zero tolerance temperament.

body sweeter than chocolate
I grew tired,
but I could not stop it.

body softer than butter
I've had many,
but you're a special kind of lover.

moist and hot
working your way to the middle,
to taste the spot.

Dating many men
Around town
Down for the *****
Denying that *** without love hurts me but,
Y**ou only live once

right dad?

fathers day came
and I needed someone to blame
for my failed relationships
and my addiction to pain
all the men who were too blind to see!
my helpless, hopeless,
tragic beauty
beginning with the rejection from you dad-dy.

to be odd
even among the
outsiders
is just lonley.
to be mysterious
even to oneself
is to feel lost.
to give advice but never
knowing how to help
myself is hypocrisy.
it's a strange life
one might say.
it's the role
I was given
so this character
I shall play.

Bottle full of liquor
Bottle filled with pills
Numb body
I no longer feel

Bottle full of relief
Bottle filled with drank
Told me I wouldn’t be sh**
Guess I really ain’t

Bottle full of death
Soul raises high like ****
I look down with pity
“Poor old me”

Once full of life

Now near empty...

2 much

or

2 little

could cost your soul

*love

I AM NOT DEEP.

I just think alot
I'm not weak
I just feel alot
I'm not probing
I just see alot

they whisper
oohh "she so deep"
I ain't loud
I just make words
echo when I speak

I am not
deep,
simply because
I utilize
my mind
to think!

Nothing more
far from less
than just another
intellectual
poetry freak

dear cupid,
did I ignore you when you wanted to play?
starved you and sent you own your way?
perhaps, I broke you heart...
or rejected your love?
perhaps I never noticed you floating above...

maybe I didn't play with you when we were young?
maybe you think I'm too rigid?
Incapable of fun.
Whatever it is,
Deep down I am Sorry,
but cupid you must understand,
*I need somebody

when my words are lost
like my weary soul
with nothing left to say
I part my lips
and pray!

my poker face is quite tight
but it can't hold me close at night.

my values and ethics are quite strong
but girls liking boys isn't wrong

my worth as a woman isn't in ***
but sometimes my feminism needs a rest

I usually pass every test
but the flesh is weak, even at best

in a lonely bed, my mind's racing
orchestrating the acts of sweet TEMPTATION.

Do not cry
                  when I die.

Truth is I have been dead
the only life left was in my head

my heart tapped out a long time ago,
this world was not for me,  I had to go

Love, Life, and Happiness
is something I would never know

that black broken hearted baby from the ghetto
                     never could *grow

I want to cry
           For you
I cannot revive
         My tears

     I want to feel
     For you
emotions uproot
     My fears

I want to calm
         The storm
   which rocks
         Your boat
Only I can’t
      I’m unable to float

depression haunts me at night
I hide under the sheets,
I refuse to fight.

I fight back the tears
of so many dark years
death shall come, but it's life I fear.

running out of precious time
everything and nothing
on my dangerous mind.

prayers go up
Lord send me a sign
trying to keep the faith, before I commit a crime.

I've defiled my body
and my bed.
handcuffed my heart.
seduced my head.

I've commited acts
that have tainted me internally
but I clean up nice
my dirt you don't see.


I don't want this addiction any more
stopping is tough,
Detox, I must!!!
Ive had enough.

I close my eyes
to imagine love
and ex boyfriends appear
in my head
a little piece of lust
made up of gifts,
laughter,
time wasted,
and meaningless ***
is all I have to offer
at my very best.

I am a  ******* child
make the men say ooh,
and the women wow.

I could even make the devil smile.

I was once God's child
but I've ran away,
lost my way.

I was a better person yesterday.

My emotions are mild
my feelings are wild,
I say nothing, but my presence is loud.

I too, can make the devil smile.

At night I'm filled with dread
morning comes and I refuse to leave my bed.
The world is crazy
but danger lives in my head.
I'm afraid of life,
but terrified of the thought of being dead.
This cycle of no peace
is really getting to me.
If my savoir can't help,
neither can this **** poetry.

It's not much
or very satisfying anymore
truth is...
our love has become a chore.

It's not fulfilling
or very enticing any longer
food for thought...
I still suffer from loves hunger.

knock knock, love are you there?
How did we get to here?
where neither of us seems to care
hope, passion, dreams and pleasure we no longer share...

I awoke today soaking wet

last night in my dream I drowned

from tears and sweat.

Swimming in life

avoiding the deep end

the waters were ***** too,

I guess from sin.

Thankfully, I found the edge

now I can breathe again.