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ZL May 2021
I release you, Past.
You have stayed for too long.

Guiding my steps,
to lead me wrong.

Confusion and chaos;
a never ending story.

Your will not hinder my future,
neither my glory.
π £ π •
ZL Mar 2015
I want freedom!
I need solitude, is that wrong?
why do I feel so alone?
this **** does not make me strong!
why am I so weak inside?
my personality, why does it hide?
I need stability,
what is wrong with me??
I feel hate.
I want life.
I want love!
but sometimes I wish to rest above
fly with the angels and the pretty doves.


I want everything and nothing!

Doctor , please tell me something!!
sick ill
ZL Nov 2014
Our very first heartbreak comes from our parents.

-thanks Mom
ZL Jun 2014
a good tear
is never wasted

it runs like a river
into a beaches ocean
where salty flavor is tasted.

a good tear
is never wasted

it drops to the ground
into a puddle of rain
brave reflections face it.

a good tear
is never wasted

it simply matures and moves on
making room for the other emotions
which have yet beautifully grown.
though they disappear
may their memories
forever be known!
#tears #cry #emotions #feelings #sadness
ZL Mar 2021
Being black is a heart attack
Being woman is the blues.
Being black is a stroke.  
Being woman is to play sleep by acting woke.
Being woman is hard and being black is trouble.....
But let me chew first, before you burst my bubbles.
ZL Mar 2021
Brain on fire
Demons don't tire.
I try to sleep during hunting hours.

Heart of stone
Life is wrong
"I need the creator on the phone!"

Soul is pure,
Well -- I'm not sure
But death shall be my only cure.
ZL Jul 2014
I
will
never
stop
crawling
my
way
out
of
HELL
ZL Oct 2014
you are well experienced
it's written on your face.

you've been here before
it's my first time in this place.

Nervous, I feel inadequate
but I'm too anxious to quit.

my naivete you eagerly bought
your skills, I wish to be taught.

I want to no longer feel innocent
so, please make my money well spent!
ZL Nov 2014
Never believed

in love at first sight,

then you appeared in my dreams

night after night.
ZL Nov 2015
you said you weren't greedy,
but you had your cake,
and ate it too.

You said I was a mystery,
it was a lie,
all alone you knew.

I was addicted to love,
and over time your power grew,
then, vulnerable I became to you.
ZL May 2014
Born to this life
naked, afraid, and shamed
will I ever know death
by any other name?
Besides being buried in the ground
with the same dirt
which I first came
ZL Aug 2016
day by day
I search for the way.

which way to go
I do not know.

time passes by
little by little I die.

They tell me don't give up
so again I try.

but why?
ZL Aug 2016
I was never the easiest to love
no man would fit like O.J's glove

I was never the easiest to leave
countdown to go, like New Years Eve

I was never confident with my hearts emotions
I am the shallow part of the deep blue oceans

I was never in tune with my souls true feelings
lying to myself, seeking ****** healings

Now I'm left with all my ******* and baggage
empty affairs have created a Savage
ZL Mar 2021
Unable to bond
Have you ever met my kind?
Unable to connect
Closeness makes me sweat.
Unable to feel
Dissociation too real.
Unable to process emotions
I am the salt of the ocean.
ZL Jun 2014
Drugs impair us
beyond repair
Lowly death
~Vs~ the highs of life
Does not compare
mind likes to travel
Body takes it there
remember this feeling
And for once in forever
Forget to care.
ZL Sep 2013
Over the years
I vowed to wear
My emotions
Less.

Since the beginning
Of time
They were the reasons
I stressed.

Recent failures
blame them
For creating this
Mess.

How far
can I get
Being
emotionless?

I'm not sure
but it's worth
a test.
ZL Aug 2014
And life has become a dangerous place.

she looks in the mirror
in pitch darkness
no light upon her face.

And life has become a disguisting place.

American sin we chase
no unity, no purity, no love,
filth from every race.

And life has become a desperate place.

Death will forever be man's case
born into sin was our crime
the punishment is much more severe this time.
ZL Dec 2014
I desire a love so deep that
even cupid becomes jealous!
ZL Mar 2021
If I were a boy
I wouldn't play women like a toy.
If I were man
I would serve as many women as I can.
If I were male,
My body, my integrity, and dignity I wouldn't sell.
If I were a he,
How much more would life be?
If I was him,
I would appreciate the privilege.
Because women know karma,
And she knows your secrets.
ZL Mar 2021
I would have you my way;
Soon or some lucky day.
I usually procrastinate,
But this charm is rarely late.

My heart was in a rush
As your cheeks turned blush
Your thighs grew moist...
So, I made the choice...

I caressed you slow,
You held me tight,
I'm forever in love,
With you and that night.
ZL May 2014
forgive me father
for I have sinned
sorry once
& again.
ZL May 2014
i can taste your skin
although I've never had the pleasure
i've worshipped you
as an antique treasure

the wind teases me
with whiffs of your scent
savoring in this goodness
assures me this was meant

a heavenly body
laying besides mine
glistening gold
from citrus sunshsine

i can feel you here
although you are gone
never tell the secrets
which inhabit my home
ZL Nov 2015
I invited this war,
was prepared from the start.
My mind turned grey,
steel became my heart.
I grew into
a cold piece of work,
a robot.
And even my warm human blood
could not make it stop.
ZL May 2021
I liked to make you mad,
Loved to make you sad.
Anything to convince myself that I didn't LOVE you that **** bad!

Reality was, I was madly in love!
emotions? boundaries? commitment?
I can't process such stuff!

But you loved me.
And in return, I made you cry.
I want to be your baby again,
I'm no longer the bad guy.
ZL Mar 2015
wonder how he's doing,
whose he *******?
is she prettier?
does she make him smile?
are they known around town?
does she make him frown,
like I did, way back when he was all mine?
what we were doing seemed fine
thought we would age together like the best wine
but we ran out of time
and that bottle broke!
our memories scattered the floor
leaving nothing but a joke.
#ex
ZL Sep 2014
Beauty intimidates me.

I was afraid to speak,

but I professed my love for you

with a little peek.
ZL Jun 2014
careful
what
you
look
for
you
may
just
find
it!
ZL Sep 2014
I was drugged by romance
but woke up in reality

I was ***** by lust,
and woke up afraid. Who to trust?

I died the death, many of us dream of
a silly young girl, believing in *real love
ZL Dec 2014
whose girl is she?*

anger was my father.

sadness was my mother.

depressed, has become me.

A little black and blue baby.
ZL Jun 2016
as a dog returns to his *****
so I return to sin.

He's always waiting for me,
asking where I been.

He claims to love me
more so than kin.

I will leave him one day father,
just not sure when.
ZL Aug 2020
Afraid of the darkness
I hid within.
Afraid of strangers
I became my friend.
Afraid of dying
so I refused to live.
Afraid of ends,
so I refused to start
Afraid of love,
so I broke my own heart.
ZL Mar 2021
Cute but anxious,
Not sure how you may take this.
A million moods:
From innocent to crude,
Mental disturbance I allude.
Fun but depressed.
Could you put my soul at rest?
Or would you judge me if I became distressed?
If no to any of the above,
You good citizen, have failed the test.
A for acting,
You gave it your best.
ZL Oct 2015
I've wasted so much time,
living life, walking blind.

I've wasted too many years,
dehydrated from so many lost tears.

Exposing myself to different harm,
I've been foolish since I was born.

But now the change is taking place,
and no matter what I must finish the race.
ZL Mar 2021
At last my love is gone
Into the sheets of a new home.
I was a dog, loved to dig your bones.
But in return you'd ***** and moan.
I'm well off now, big fine Grown.
This is my farewell,
Because I did us wrong.
#ex
ZL Jul 2015
I wanted you
and hoped you wanted me too.

late nights imagining things I could do
to make you say hmmm, or maybe ooh

there was an inferno between my thighs
my volcano erupted into lava cries

when it was all over

I slept in that puddle of
rejection and ash

hoping this lonely hell
would not forever last.
ZL Aug 2016
his touch
I wish was yours.
his kiss
I desire no more.
his skin
I want to end.
your body
I want to let in.
look at me,
I'll show you where to begin.
close those eyes,
prepare to sin.
let me take you to paradise
since you've never been.
ZL Aug 2015
Today I had three dates.

One was pretty,
the other needy,
the last greedy.

I did not get to see any.

I am not sure if I have any love left in me.
So, until then I am going to stay away.
But soon my lovers, I'll have more lies to tell, more flattery to say.
ZL Sep 2014
Tiny gap

inbetween my teeth;

Two lovers

waiting to meet.
ZL May 2016
I run I run I run away
I may stop if I make it to Heaven one day
I hope heavens gates have no escape...
because I'll run some more
until I feel safe.
ZL Apr 2014
Idle inspiration
Poems for you
Daring dedication.
Never been in love
But I loved your hugs
Hershey kisses too
Chocolate jazz
Brown girl’s blues!

Long way from home
time lost in your smile
Wanting to stay forever
plus a longer while.
Not having you
Is a romantic's oppression
you’re all I feed on
Obese obsession.
ZL May 2015
My highs are high, but my lows are extremely low**

The older I grow
the less I know.

The more I travel
more places I desire to go.

The more they reject me
the more love I show.

those pretty smiles tells me yes,
now there's no way I can say no.

I guess I can be their **** fool,
just one time mo'.
For
ZL Mar 2022
For
A three letter word awaits me,
they will pronounce it as four.
I waited for things to change,
confused nights standing at the door.
No glitz, glam, nor gore,
just ocean waves...
I'll be at shore.
Visit me again always,
because you never did before.
ZL Jan 2015
the death of a artist
is as mysterious as
Mona Lisa's smile
they rise against
life leaving many
wondering how?
misunderstood while alive
praised in death as their admirers
beautifully cry.
ZL Aug 2016
I remember sitting next to you
butterflies inside
as you sat there mad

I recall apologizing
for my bad behavior
wishing for a savoir

I remembering kissing your cheek
hoping that would make things right
but our love never returned, out of sight
ZL Aug 2015
If these four walls could talk
they would tell secrets unknown.
my truth will be told
my cover blown.

If these four walls could see
they too would judge me.
I would be ostracized
they would contribute to my misery.

If these four walls could smell,
they would choke on the smoke that is my hell.
hell in my heart, I have little peace
besides a stranger loving me between the sheets.

If these four walls could touch,
I would not desire intimacy as much.
They could hold me and hug my weary soul,
for they would have empathy...

*and know that love is my only goal.
ZL Nov 2015
Goosebumps in the shower
visions of making love for hours
the heat makes my lonely bones weak
the steam chokes me, unable to speak
just as I begin to unleash my inner freak
I heard the bathroom door creep
behold it was you
ready for a sneak peek...
ZL Aug 2015
I'm such a mess.
I'm no and I'm yes.

up and down.
nowhere but all around.

good and bad,
sometimes happy but mostly sad.

alive and dead.
there is so much madness in my head.

here I come and go,
ready or not,
get ready for a freak show!
ZL Oct 2014
Demons come out to dance at night
All eyes on them, as they enter the spotlight

Darkness inhabits every space
Only two dull eyes shine on my black face

I’m forced to witness what they call entertainment
Waste of focus, energy poorly spent

I’m tired of the fights and the arguments
I close my eyes, I can no longer handle it!
ZL Aug 2014
A dozen black roses
Eleven ex lovers
Ten tears
Nine lost years
Eight personal fears
Seven deadly sins
I've commited six.

If only I had one wish!

Five secrets I swore to never tell
I’ve repented four of them
Too afraid to go to hell
Three is for the trinity
Always fighting two sides of me
atlas, one lonely heart

God should have warned me
life would be hell from the very start.
ZL Nov 2015
mothers say it kills them
when a child dies before them.

well....

my mothers' depressed,
and I can't seem to *help.
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