She water my roots:

From the rich soil, to strengthen the stems, to blossom my bright red petals.

With a mixture of fresh air & organic love.

The sun shines upon me, I feel the summer warmth through the window.
As she sings to me, her voice refreshes life into my life.

Keeping my very existence alive.

She water my roots:

I’ll make love to you
focusing on your mindset
& getting to know you

Becoming her life
After the hard aches
Brought back
Those inspiring eyes


God gave her a soul with life
Jesus gave her a heart with faith
Parents gave her a home with siblings
I gave her a world with commitment

-More debt, more problems
-More bills, more silence
-High like the Covid cases, Feels like each month’s recycling
-Working sleepy through the day, wide awake through the night.

-I feel like drinking right now will help change my mood from being bitter
-Invite some company over while I pour this liquor
-Stretch this drink like a river.
-I want it, I have it, I got it
-Getting faded quicker, Killing my liver.

-Head shots, head shots take one baby
-We in the moment just living
-Emotions & *** in the air mixing, yeah.
-A new rememberable night flowing through my memories
-She put her drink down, took me back to the room
After we finished, she called me her boo.

-I wake up to her calling her man in the next room
-She lied to him saying, “I’m still at my girl house”, stretching a lie from the truth
-I didn’t know she had a man: the slightest clue.

-Thinking in my head how could you sit here & do this to me
-Seriously, do this to me
-Treating me like some side-piece.
-But you know what I appreciate this lesson man, I mean I really I do.
-You’re not one for me, you’re not the type I need to pursue.
-Sometimes I wish things were different growing up becoming a grown up.

-The next day, I sit back, then lay back, trying to relax as I light up the candles
-I been through some battles. Pray that God heal me from my head to my ankles
-Times like this, I wish things were better now like back then
-I’m casting out more demons and letting more angels come in

New day, my worries fade away
I feel your happiness
Times brought in a new companion
Friendship settle in
New day, feels so good, I pray
How fast the old days fade away.

New days, less mistakes
Blessings came upon yourself
Times changed, love has came
No confusion settled in, mmm

New days, I rise
Let the new journey begin
new day

“Cold world is getting hard to breathe
Hours change, it’s getting hard to see
Yet, your light helps me see
Lord, I thank thee”

New days, I avoid old mistakes
Sometimes it’s complicated during
urging times I start to feel less sane
So I write down your advice
that reminds me of
those down falls, a reminder of numbness

Then I ease my mind
by calling your name because I
don’t feel like I’m by myself.
Oh, oh, my
New days, I by myself
hoping I make you proud
crying out
Mmm, yeah, tearing up

Better behavior
So I pray for the new greater days
Constant laughter
So I pray for the new greater days
Different expectations
So I pray for the new greater days
And I pray new days continue day after day

She need me on set to direct
I need her on the scene to organize
She love it when I take lead
I love it when she feels satisfied

She make me feel sane as we get to touching
I make her feel sane as the camera start rolling
She prefers waiting here patiently
While I take my time because I aim to please

let's get to it

when I first met you,
I thought life.
when your smile came,
quantity and quality balance
when we proceeded that kiss,
there was belief.
when intimacy came & finished,
it was partner & commitment.
when that ring was given,
intentions form a priority bond.

Just mine.

So now that you know how I feel.
When do you want me to come home?

There's really not much to say
About the Kings who were born to raise.
Carry the weight on their shoulders
Face their problems face-to-face
Instead of running away.
A King stays at its palace to figure things out with their Queen & pray;
They're about action, not words, providing for their family every day.

I'm talking about the role models:
Big Brothers
God Father's
Step Father's
Father's
Wisdom builders
Who do it for the love for the children.
The men who faced F.E.A.R. in the eyes standing tall
and didn't accept failure when they fall.

Just the Fellas

Hey God, Jesus, Angels, Kingdom of Heaven

This is my last letter I will be writing.
I want to thank you,
for my existence.
to let me write this story in my version.
for opening the door to speak to you.
to help express my thoughts & truth to the world.

Thank you for being in my corner through the years.
Because this is my final letter.

Eternity coming soon~Zay❤️

June 20, 2070

Am I that much of a burden?
Am I that easy & useless to you that you feel the need to steal my identity?

That time, you asked me to have a relationship with you, I thought that we were bonding through time & space.

Was that a lie?

I know I didn’t ask for much.
But we’re family... aren’t we?

Parent & children?

I just wanted you to have a little faith in me!

Sorry, I need to step away. Im going to cool off.

Dear God,

Thank you for waking me up this morning. Forgive me for my sins & unknown sins each and everyday.

June 20, 1994

She didn’t fill
what I currently was.

She filled
the position
of what I am
to become

She dance for me in my T-Shirt with her Victoria’s Secret lingerie

She move closer & begins to whisper...

--“Tonight, let’s me & you have a private party. Be the Director & make this movie.”

Who knew that she would mess with a Chicago kid from the south side of Harvey.

After tonight, we may end up together with strings attached .

"You have a year"
2."You have a year"
3."You have a year"
4. -- another year just went by fast--

When people read this book.
I pray for them. For a clear open mind. With a genuine heart. They come with questions. Speak their truth. Take time to get to know you and themselves. No judgment here.
I pray they are able to see themselves for the first time in the mirror. Giving a high-5 of that inner star player right in front of them. Simply because healthcare is rich.
Nothing’s taken personal. Just understanding. Nobody being attacked. But heard. No disrespect. Just respect.
We, your creation, are here to have a conversation with you to learn more about the things you do.
So please grant us to ask questions. Not question your ability.
It is time to sit at the holy table.

I got you as long as you got me....

By this title, it got me trippin
Being around you has got me lifted
I just ran into a lot of wrong women with right intentions.

**** is like therapy: with you listening to me tell my story
Guiding & reminding me that it’ll be okay like it’s your territory
Kinda like love when it don’t change nor never shows it’s boring
Let me speak to the heavens, and tell my favorite glory

Because I want....you...

I’m sure you heard some rumors about me, but they ain’t true
You’re living good , yet it gets better whenever I’m with you
Geeked up when you smile, with those dimples, yeah they’re cute
You’re the only one im focused on, just being honest, so please excuse

You got that brown skin, Real hair, mix culture, independence down
How about we get together, travel around and go for rounds
Folks can try and catch our attention, turning it upside-down
Which will never happen, so don’t focus on the background

So when you get this feeling, you know to call me
Anime, childhood, Chemistry, I think we both can agree
You’re the woman that’s my taste, it’s too saucy
And If they ask you “ who you with?” , just know it’s all me

Hey,
Dear Father-
Thank you for waking me up this last morning.
Apologies for the delays, times been hard to
void some distractions, dear father.
Not enough time to gather these thoughts, however,
this day, I have to

Dear family- Just missing ya.
Saw the new addition,
it’s another little baby.
Congratulations.
Pray this one will succeed through their dreams with no complications.
I think it’s a blessing.
The way you all raise your kids,
new gen, from ignorance
hateful people who were hatin’.
Toxic traits wanting us to fail & fall off
from the village tree we created.
But before it was my time to leave,
I memorized the past for myself.
Flashing moments or two rewinding
between the fun & hectic scenes of life building & laugher.
Too much for one’s mind…
It’s been a-lot going on…
You can read the hidden messages in all of my poems.

Life was doing me wrong…
Humans were doing me wrong…
Final days, life & death, was knocking right at my door.
Wrote letters to encourage others to hold on strong.
Be thankful for the man above, his life, his voice & gift of passionate songs.

Jude 1:20-21 brought out those tears,
Having me grateful each time I read it.
Cause I kept crying
off so much when I accepted God kids.
And I don’t know what it is.
But along the way , I became sensitive
beyond than I imagine.
But never mind that, I’m fine, I’m sending this message with kisses & hugs
In hope you all smile.
Live a better life as I protect you from above.
Less you hurt
The deeper you love
More you show
the full is your cup.
Picture an organic hug
releasing all of the pressure or problems occurring in one’s mind
Sending love waves of energy.

Please hold each other down
Y’all carry the crowns
You ever need me, just pray & I’ll request from above to be present & show up
Until then, I’ll rest in power
I’m gone

Tired of being humble
Tired of feeling puzzled
Tired of starting over
With these past few relationships
My love was used for the moment
Sitting here just roaming, tough
Good thing I was always honest
But made myself look foolish, so

Love will love like it always does
Selfish love is upon us
Love will love like it always does
Selfish love is upon us

Tired of these circumstances
Had some more common flashes
Feeling like I’m just chasing
Stuff is old, need more patience and
Meanwhile  I need satisfaction
I must learn to embrace it
Stay aware and pay attention
Describing my own feelings, cause

Love will love like it always does
Selfish love is upon us
Love will love like it always does
Selfish love is upon us

His hands trace the curvature of my body as I wrap my legs around his waist, quivering as his tongue explores places that motivates my body to react through a swift shift in movement of arching my back.
Gasps softly emerge from my mouth as I feel an entrance of rhythmic motion allowing the depths of my love to emerge as I mirror his passion that’s exhibited through the twists, turns, and motions causing me to get lost in pleasure, pushing me to realize that I’m finding myself in the reflection of his dark brown eyes.

Dear God,

When I die
I want my day to be celebrated.
No pain, no sorrows, no regrets, no sadness.
Just a big party full of fun living, breathing, healthy people who enjoy the company of genuine people.
That I be remembered as a goofy, silly, different type of unique being that has enjoyed his time on earth.
Because I can honestly say I lived & learned in this world.
And I did it all thanks to you.

October 26, 2038

Hmmm….

The obvious was there
Charms in the palm of my hands
All a man could do was just stare
Visualizing a quick glance

Beauty I saw, in the distance
Filled with intense curiosity of how our lives collide
While hiding my feelings about one’s existence
I tend to set aside my love, due to my pride

Secrets after secrets
Not realizing you may like me back
Secrets after secrets
Views of your looks; can’t help myself being side-track


Love rain is what I call it….

Small drizzles of kisses,
Heavy thunderstorm of making love,
Wind blowing sweet smells of rain drops,
Only to look down into the puddle of your reflection

Sense touch from the rain
Texture of sweet taste on my tongue
Soft sound, showers pouring down  
Smelling fresh air
All to be seen through my eye

Her Nature is all around me