Dancing out of love from the inside soul
Reaching for a state of perfect happiness.

Receiving great value of feeling blessed to be alive
Remembering the little things until the end of time.

A Delightful view like a bright comet traveling miles
Through outer space across the galaxy stopping at nothing.

This feeling is like a parent who protects their child
A dog who adores its owner
Wonderful mother giving birth
Best friends having each other backs
Or waking up next to your soul mate.

Gives great pleasure of being connected with your inner star player.
Positive vibes & reminiscing to a present time of bliss.
Only to recognize that the world is yours.

Pain, anger, and defeat is not an option for there
Is finally peace in one’s heart filled with life.

Dear God,

May I ask you a question please?

I wanna know if Lucifer, your first angel, has permission to challenge us (your creation), by your approval?
For example: Lucy makes a request from you, and if accepted, he then tries to show you( Lord) that we (your creation) don’t love you like he say we do because we sin.
As a result, he wants us all for himself in hell.
And if so,

I want you to forgive me as I confess my sins.
But also,
I want to forgive him for thinking he will change me. He will continuously lose + never gain my love over yours.

April 6, 1968

Mentally, i'm uncomfortable

Physically, i'm uncomfortable

Financially, i'm uncomfortable

I am an uncomfortable black man!
So yeah, i want to give up.

Until i remembered my sticky note on the mirror... "Have faith".
                                            So I keep walking

Dear God,

Remember the time our twin moms
sat down with me & my cousin
as we decided to leave our old home
for a better life back then?
The four of us signing our rights
over to our new guardians
to take us in for a higher education
and a chance at life vs the streets.
Our first big grownup decision as kids.
It was also our first encounter
with racism. The district tried everything
in their power to keep us away
making excuses:
“There’s to many kids.”
“Judge won’t allow these kids from the north.”
“We don’t want troubled kids.”
” It’s not a good look.”
What they were actually saying
was they won’t accept black kids.
Nothing but trouble. Scared of us.
The county hated us, but never knew us.
People judged us, said we never graduate
is what they told us.
Crazy part about it was we never once
stepped foot on the bus, school, nor the classroom. It was still summer time.

However; once we were accepted
we passed classes, honors, popular,
accepted, and graduated.
We showed them we can do anything huh…
Now they miss us

August 28, 1946

“You need to relax your mind”

That’s what my mentor said- leave the past behind
Focus on my mental health, & continue this grind
She could tell that I’m special, staring right in my eyes
She said I’m accomplishing more than others, 25, I’m right at my prime
Her words were encouraging, keeping my worth alive
Mentor is right,
I need to treat myself; maybe travel the states
Love on my girl & generate some more wealth

Don’t yo-yo your way in & out of my life

Being told to not rush things.
Longing, yearning, dreaming of what’s to come.
And yet
There is an incapability to step forward.
So I ask,
Are we really rushing love?
By not letting it bloom it’s value
Right there, in that moment of truth.
Or is it just unnecessary opinions,
Given to us because we’re afraid of the inevitable?
We want to change the world but not what holds us back.
“Don’t rush.”
“The time will come.”
“If it’s meant to be...”
You say “You will just know.”
You say “There isn’t always a reason.”
But, you still say
“Don’t rush.”
“It’s too soon.”
How long do you wait
When you know it’s right?
In this moment, this is right.
In this time, nothing else matters
Because my time is now.
And yet, in that moment too long,
We fail to realize that we had our chance.
We had our shot to go for it!
To tell our truth
To kiss in that booth
Before we said goodbye.

What’s urgent to me right now is you.
It’s my prerogative to make you my first,
My last,
My everything.

You have a light inside of you that brightens the nightfall,
It captures the heart.
So infectious,
You just accelerate into your smile;
I see heaven watching you blush.

I’m in love with your Egyptian skin.
Cherish those bruises & scars.
It’ll make you cry tears of joy
That a man can deal with your past
& be comfortable under his own.

Spend the rest your life with me
As we go down in history
On this love train for all eternity.

It’s ok,
You didn’t get the person that you wanted.
Once again, you put your love out there
Showed your heart
Telling how you felt
Took that chance

And right at that moment you were just about to tell them you love too.
But it didn’t happen...

My body all over her body:
Hands traveling deep on her backside cuffing her cake.
She bring me closer & breaks the sudden moment of our kiss, tasting mint flavored gum on my tongue.
Staring into my dark brown eyes, breathing in my cologne
I lean down in attempt to receive another kiss.
She rest her hand upon my chest, prohibiting me from moving forward, smiling
Love surrounds us as I press my lips against the middle of her forehead.
Then...
I close my eyes, lay her head on my chest so she can hear my heart play music
whispering- “You. It’s always been you.”

I am looking for validation,
To staying focus on the right path.
Or, at least, in the right direction.

I am reaching for your approval,
Some sign for your judgement.
Balancing out the principles & merit.

I am waiting on acceptance,
Love of belonging somewhere
Rather than out in the world.

....Then I realized ....

I no longer need validation
I no longer want to seek approval
I no longer wait for acceptance

We stay up past midnight, sitting on the living room floor together.
Joking, laughing, & sharing threads of each other lives in a story that echoes the rhythm of poetry.
Reminiscing over a game of Uno
I brush my hand against hers through the exchange of cards. She flinches & start blushing.
I notice her mood & body language change.
Glancing into her brown eyes, I could tell she wanted to do something else.
So I begin to speak, asking her- “ Hey, do you want to take this game to the bedroom?”

Dear God,

I miss this person I associated myself with.
I miss their presence, their smile, their weird side, their love, their shyness, them laying under me.

However; I revert back to 3 main questions:
Do I miss them because I love them?
Do I miss them because I lust them?
Do I miss them because I left them?


December 7, 1977

Issue #1

High criticism in opinions
Lack of support
Overthinking situations
Mental breakdowns inside my soul
Backlash after Backlash
Trying to find my voice in this world
Yet, I hold back my tongue

Issue #2

I quit dating because my heart was torn open so many times.
Distance myself from friends because I was being taken advantage of.
Stop writing because my poems won’t change lives.
Gave up on the promise land because it’s difficult to reach.

Issue#3
Bills due monthly
Large pay check here
Short pay check there
Long shifts = Long nights
Trying to save money
Tuition due soon.

Here goes FASFA calling again....
"~Excuse me, I have to take this call"

Back in 2007:
I understood everything that day.
You gave up your custody rights for me to live a better life outside of Chicago.
Greatest, yet,  most heartbreaking moment of our lives that you ever did for me.
It got me away from the gang life
And I thank you for it every day through prayer.
Because without that sacrifice,
I wouldn’t have became the man I am now....
I was 12 when this all started.

2008-2019:
From a far distance
You watched me grow up under another roof.
My shyness faded
While my character began to blossom.
I learned to express new emotions
Expand my vocabulary
Use my kindness to create relationships
Battle my sins, demons, as well as my own identity
Expanding my mind & soul.
Nevertheless, your baby boy survived.

But the truth is, I never see you anymore.
There hasn’t been a handful of times you came down to see me vs me see you
I felt a lost connection between us.
Those random days/ nights I needed you physically, not through the phone.
Is it because you couldn’t raise me like you wanted?
Maybe it's because I look like my father?
Or maybe it’s because you prefer to start living your own life now that i'm grown.
Which you deserve 100%
I wanna see you happy always.
However, my only wish is too see you more often.
That’s all....

I wish that I can undo
The past; I want to undo.
Where our paths cross that we walked
Now that I know who you are.
Commitment from you was never an option for me
Caught up in my feelings, believing that this was meant to be
Feels like my life is nothing but a funny, yet, sad meme
But I still want you all for me.

You’re making me vulnerable right now
It’s everything I’ve always want
You’re breaking my heart, walls burning down
It’s everything I’ve never want

Dying flower, dying flower
Dying flower, dying, dying dying
Dying flower, dying flower
Dying flower, dying, dying, dying

Dear God,

I became my own biggest critic
when I started to play scenarios in my head about what I think others may think of my craft.

June 4, 2007

Dear God,

In the book of Genesis:
did snakes back then have legs?
or did the devil create those legs possessing the snake?
I remember reading & speaking with the pastor about how the serpent was deceiving Adam & Eve.
Serpent trick them both to eat from the tree of knowledge (good & evil).
You found out, highly disappointed, then cast Adam & Eve out of the garden.
Afterwards, the Bible talks about you making snakes slither from now on.
So if I’m reading in-between the lines this time, then that’s a scary sight to see snakes walking.

March 11, 1982

I trace the curvature of her body with my hands as she wraps her legs around my waist.
Her tongue quivers while I explore areas where the natural garden lies.
-Back arches in reaction to my touch igniting swift movements & pleasure
-Entrance rhythmic motion from the depths of our love emerging as we mirror passion through twists & turns
-Pushing me to realize that I’m finding myself in the reflection of her dark brown eyes.

Come make me feel sane baby

There were some concerns
From your lies that burned
After you tried to make a fool of me.
Playing victim to your companions
Fake tears to your parents
To cover an act, that you were the one cheating, not me.
I caught you on your phone
Texting hearts & sending pics to a boy
In bed, acting like I wouldn’t see.
If you wanted to go
I told you to let me know
So that I leave your stupid ignorant a$$ peacefully ✌🏾

Rain beats against the window pane bringing a drumming rhythm into the room.
Light from the lavender candles rest upon the wooden dresser, flickering in the blanket of darkness that’s cascading the bedroom.
I walk into the room where my baby is,
Observing how tired she is.
After a long day of work I cooked her dinner,  ran a bubble bath, & sat at the edge of the bed reading poems while rubbing her feet.
Apply pressure in circular motion as she lays back against the wooden headboard.
Now as we unwind for the night, God creates thunder & rain outside the window in the background.
She tells me she finds comfort & peace from watching the man she love apply pleasure, not only to these bunions of feet, but to her heart.