"shaked" poems
SA Trigger Warning
I can still remember the couch.
The way I cried in my friend's arms when I thought of that couch.
Pinned down.
Abused.
Forcefully used.
On the couch.
Couch.
I still remember going into my apartment alone after.
The way my body shaked for nights spent crying in my bed after.
At my friend's apartment after.
In the hospital after.
Years after.
After.
They say the mind can forget sometimes,
but what always remembers the trauma is the body.
The one that kicked and fought off the body.
The one that layed under the body.
The violated body.
The tortured body.
The unsafe body.
The Body
After
The Couch...
was never the same.
Not for me to blame.
I know that now.
Sep 15, 2021
Sep 15, 2021 at 2:46 AM UTC
I ached for you last night,
and I yearned and I cried and I shaked for you last night.
I wanted nothing but to be near you,
to hear your heartbeat in your chest.
But I did not want to break you down,
or put this love to rest.
I dreamt of you lying beside me last night,
and I kissed you and I held you and I felt you last night.
I traced out the moon beams surrounding your spine,
and kissed every ligament, still hoping you're mine.
But before I could sleep, and before I could slumber,
I readied my mind and I phoned to your number.
I wanted you to come here to me,
and I wanted you to be near.
But with wanting and heartache I hung up that phone,
and I watched the blood moon appear.
(i.r)
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 1:03 PM UTC
Henceforth all ducks shall be shackled
entwined in martyrdom
half-shaven and fully aroused
baked and shaked and rattled and rolled
like bunnies, their reproduction
obviously
blantantly
even Freud would scratch his beard
too blatant the ***
obviously there must be another underlying problem
loving alcohol means you need ****
*** obsession means you need
love? Condoms?
Loch Ness Monster came over for tea
drank the imaginary brew
spat boiled liquid onto a canvas and sold it as art
"yes, yes, what does it mean?"
What does it mean?
It means that you think too much and don't feel
and don't think enough too caught up
like me
not perfect just only
and only is all one can do
can be accounted for
one, two, three
fall in-between the divisions of derivatives
damask dames like snoozing penguins
which is
black, white and dread all over
none too sure or very glassy
not too much of anything
just, just.
Jun 9, 2012
Jun 9, 2012 at 9:43 PM UTC
*I sat there, alone.
I sat there alone, for hours.
I sat there alone, for long days and nights.
I sat there alone, for months depressed and sour.
My Goldfinch, in a clumsy state of being,
In the same corner, she got sick of seeing, the same walls around her, the same walls around me.
I took a moment in that inspiring hour.
I wondered what made her so sick of a life of a coward.
I wondered what if,
I wondered what if I had her wings,
I wondered what if she had what I had, being free.
I thought of how things would have been,
Of her soaring, wandering in places I've never seen.
I took her to the roof in a rush, opened the cage, and sat her for once free!
She spread her wings, in a joyful spirit, free.
Time froze that iternal moment of hope, of her to fly with my dreams far, further than I could ever reach.
She flew, shaked her wings. For once, twice then thrice.
To the ground, she fell, unable to fly.
It is too late, that cage got the best of her. Those four walls got the best of me.
Free,
We will never be.
© copy right protected*
Jun 28, 2015
Jun 28, 2015 at 4:45 PM UTC
Once upon a mealtime
When salt had gone away
He had left in such a hurry
And with no sub to work his day
Poor pepper started panicking
Mostly missing his dear mate
But also with a worry
If he alone would taste so great
So he soon sent out a message
To all the pots upon the shelf
'Partner needed quickly,
I can't dust dinner by myself'
So suddenly came rescue
In fact response was vast
The rest of all the condiments
Took triumph for him fast
First of course came ketchup
So used to being shared
But pepper didn't quite believe
That they would be best paired
Then came Mr Mayo
With a winning stance he stood
But too eager for the winning
Pepper didn't think him good
In butted boisterous barbecue
Believing there was no other
Unless there could be any left
Of his favourite sweet chilli brother
But pepper wanted neither
For he cared about this dish
And they came in heavy servings
Which wouldn't be salts wish
Still with plenty choice left
He looked upon his friends
Mustards, chutneys and pickles
Fine flavours they'd all lend
But then he heard herbs and spices
Who were giving a loud shout
'If you want salt not to be needed
Then you'd best not leave us out!'
This quickly made him realise
That the best friends he could make
Would come not squeezed all over
But served with a gentle shake
So he rounded up the shakers
But he wouldn't work them all
'You're right you'll help me nicely
But who mostly? It's your call'
The chilli taking charge of things
Addressed pepper with this test
'Well what is this dish we're warming
And we'll tell you what works best?!'
When they looked upon the oven hob
They saw mix of veg and meat
Chopped finely and frying in a pan
Slowly taking up the heat
So suddenly they knew now
Who would win the role to take
Cajun and paprika
A fine taste they surely make
So shaked upon the cooking
It was served with a success
No one need ever know
That peppers day had been a mess
So later in the evening
When salt stumbled his way home
His apologies were heartfelt
'I'll never leave you all alone'
But pepper soon forgave him
He said 'there, there, it's ok'
For now he knew the secret
Of how to cook in the best way
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 11:54 PM UTC
David Farrier shoes horses for a living
Found himself in a life worth giving
His whole life to see them from the gate
And finish in life still believing that this race is not just worth trying
But a pursuit of passing on the baton of Faith!
He may pound it and nail it hard but David just won't let you run with your hooves dusted
Oh how he used to shoe us eight times but be filled with the greatest gratitude as he was healed and learned that our hooves are two-divided
Oh I think I need a pat on the back
My hair doesn't feel like feeling the wind against it
Oh that doesn't even rhyme
But a few knows the songs of David as he was born in Rock Bottom
He circled the town eight times and washed his hands as he allows himself very often
Born with a so-called 'natural blindfold disease' he found himself a Savior clothed in the purest of fleece
He asked David to hang for a while and His hand shaked with eternal availability
While His friendship promised milk, cookies and eternal security
Oh I might need a pat on the back
The open gates of change welcomed by a gunshot noise usually freaks me out
Oh can someone get me a rhyme book?
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 11:24 AM UTC
it was such a cold night with the frosty air kissed my skin and left it trembled. I was staring at the stars and whispered them how much I adore your mesmerizing smile as they promised me to take care of yourself,
"he is the Sirius, we know."
"he is," I giggled "so keep him safe."
then I danced under the moonlight with our playlist as the soundtrack. the moon giggled and shaked its head,
"it's getting late, you better go to bed than dance like an idiot."
"but, will you promise me to give him a goodnight kiss with your light?"
"anything you want, princess."
the city lights kindly guided me and my unicorn home safely without getting lost, although I closed my eyes along the road because I am a sleepyhead.
"goodnight, my Sirius."
— baby I'm living on my own fantasy,
will you still take me as I am?
Jul 6, 2018
Jul 6, 2018 at 12:23 AM UTC
She walked outside to get a breath of fresh air
She saw that there was snow on the ground
But she didn't have a jacket on
Just a skirt
With nylon leggings
The wind started to blow
And she felt the snow
Blow her around
And then it stopped
She shut the door
And went back inside
She walked over to the computer
And sat down in a wooden chair
And kind of shivered a little
As the snow was melting on her hair
She moved her head back and forth really quickly
And shaked the snow off of her hair
I don't look pretty
she giggled
She kind of smoothed out her hair
With her hands
And curled it around her fingertips
Then she felt kinda hungry
And left her chair
And started sliding a little
She got to the refrigerator door
She looked around
And there was a mountain dew
Yeah
She turned around quickly
And was spinning
And got a little dizzy
She drank her mountain dew
And burped
I'm drunk
She staggered back to the wooden chair
And set her pop by the computer
Which she's not suppose to do
But always does anyways
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmm
She clicked on a video on youtube
And clicked out really quick
And made a sour face and squinted
She typed something else in
She looked down the screen
Scrolled down
Double clicked
Waiting for it to load
Clicked out
Didn't load
She kinda got a little upset
And grabbed her mountain dew
Got up from the computer
And smashed her knees against the stupid computer thingy
Spilled a little mountain dew on her skirt
Whatever
She grabbed her mountain dew
Held it by the inner tab
And spun around slowly
Didn't cut herself
Spinned around again
Heart racing
Didn't cut herself
Slowly took her pointer finger out
And started drinking again
She walked into the living room
Going
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmm
Sat down on the couch
With her kitten in the kitchen
By the computer
She turned the tv on
And watched spongebob squarepants
It was in the middle of the episode where mermaid man was saying
Evil
Eeeeevil
She just sipped her mountain dew quickly
And didn't swallow it right away
Then she rubbed her feet against the ground
And her kitten
Hopped away from the kitchen
And waited by her feet
She looked down
Made a face
And placed her foot on top of her kitty's head
And the kitten backed off and bumped into the tv
While the episode of spongebob was still playing
She changed the channel
Started kicking her feet
Back and forth
Without touching the ground
She looked outside
And the snow was blowing harder
So she got off of the coach
Opened the door
And felt the snow blow against her skin again
She shivered again
Shut the door
Shaked her head
Brushed down her hair
Ran into the kitchen
Then ran back upstairs
To her room
Turned around
And the kitten was at the bottom of the steps
She shut the door quickly
Fell to the ground
And looked under the door
And saw the kitten
She came close to the door
And pawed at it a little
Then hopped back down stairs
On the last step
Tumbled
She's left alone a lot
That's why she's so strange
She felt her stomach make a hungry noise
She was craving tacos
I wonder if there's any leftover tacos from yesterday in the fridge
She walks downstairs
Slides to the fridge
Kitten hops away
She opens the door
Nothing
She shuts the door
Slides back to the computer
Sat down
And started to feel really bored
Then got out of the chair
Walked over to the door
And felt it with her hand
Without opening it
It was cold out
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 5:47 PM UTC
Shaking hands reveal the truth
I should have seen it, when my eyes brimmed with tears as I confessed my love for you,
And with eyes downcast you whispered 'I love you too' but your hands shivered
I should have looked deeper
When my friend sighed 'everything is okay"
But with those forced words, came hands that shaked
I should have realized when I told myself 'I'm getting better' and an earthquake passed through my fingertips
I now know, to look past the deception and seek the truth your hands will show
Apr 1, 2016
Apr 1, 2016 at 1:48 AM UTC
iced finger tips
wrapped in hands'
warmness
stired, not shaked, leaning
salty neck line
light aroma of hey
freshness of ruby cherry silk
gaspillage
of entwined drive
flambé
Jun 1, 2014
Jun 1, 2014 at 7:00 AM UTC
You listened to Frank Ocean and Johnny Rain
I listened to Nirvana and Coldplay
I was never the one to stand out in a crowd and didn't have much friends but that was alright
But you, everybody knew you and girls wanted to be with you.
When you turned around in your seat to look at me, my hands shaked like an earthquake and I started feeling so many things whenever I saw you.
When you said to me,"I love you and still think your beautiful, even with your scars,"
I knew that I was inlove with you and I couldn't stand the thought of you leaving me.
You made me feel loved and wanted for once; you gave my life purpose.
You found me in the dark when I had already given up on myself and wanted to end my life.
My nightmares soon became dreams;
endless dreaming of your kiss so soft against my lips and how your eyes gazed into mine before you leaned in.
We didn't have much but we were so in love.
One day you texted me and said,"I'm in love with two people at the same time."
hurt
heartbroken
You never saw the tears I cried that day.
You told me that you were going to try to forget her, for us and I believed you, like the fool I'm.
But we made it past that relentless ocean and saved our relationship.
But another hurricane was coming our way soon.
"I'm sorry.That you are feeling this way.It wasn't really my intention."
******** ******** ********
And just like everybody else who entered my life, you left when you promised you wouldn't.
You lead me on, and messed with my head.
And now I'm hopeless and lost without you.
oh god
i
am
so
alone
We don't talk much anymore, but you still cross my mind time after time.
All I have now is my pain to hold on to and my tears are
f a l l i n g
like rain down my cheeks
"Somebody in the future will make you just as happy as I made you."
But can't you see that you were my future, that you ******* meant everything to me!
hate
depressed
A lesson learned.
A chapter never finished.
A happy never after.
When I need you the most, you leave.
Now what I'm supposed to do?
Because of you, I have new red smiles on my wrists and I have lost weight.
Nights of just thinking what and when I went wrong and having to cry myself to sleep.
I'm slowly killing myself,starving,losing sleep over you
when you don't
even care
I wish you the best of luck and find what you are searching for.
Because I was never enough for you.
I would try to get you back, but I lost you a long time ago.
You showed me love and I thank you for that.
Nothing gold can stay.
(m.p.)
Jul 12, 2013
Jul 12, 2013 at 4:01 AM UTC
Melting morning dew
As I feared, danced, and shaked
Beneath a thousand years of illusions
Fingers drifting unlocking my flesh
As the voice of footsteps kiss the summer goodbye
Unraveling enchantment, soft, wild, and free
Strawberry hair blooms into a tangled tease
Sultry peach curves
Famished suckling the nectar
Luscious intervals of bingeing
As we entice the natural yearning
I invited your you to love
As we begin to swim to shore
Were as bare as the night
Where multiple stars glittered then died
As your bones are shattering were confined together
I dive into the bottom of your mind
Overindulging in your ribs and esophagus
Maneuvering in your foundation
Emptying out the cage you placed yourself in
Scare all the monsters away
I shall await patiently for a taste of your heart
I'll relish from part to part
When I'm done I'll live inside your throat
Jul 19, 2013
Jul 19, 2013 at 1:20 AM UTC
She is sitting under her mango tree.
An empty plate and a half-finished cup of tea.
Her hazy sight gazed on the wall while a flock of flies ravage on the wet spot of spilt tea.
I extend my hand for a formal greeting but my presence is absent in her wondering mind.
"Hello granny"
My hand shakes her fragile body while her muscles quake like a shaked *** of half cooked sadza.
" ooh muzukuru Phidza!"
She responds in an almost dried up voice.
I smile though I know that is my brother's name.
She has been forgetting things and now my name is one of them.
"Your mother is right behind you isn't she?"
She asks the usual question.
"No granny but she will be home for Christmas."
I give her the same answer as on yesterday's visit.
Her offsprings had flown to the diaspora for greener pastures.
Leaving her under the custody of maids with neither any of her blood nor seed around.
"The baobab is falling, worms are devouring it from within." She whispers.
I clinch my hands around her in an emotional hug.
These were the hands that spanked me for taking my pants for the bathroom.
And a soft kiss on the fore head reminding me for all that beating for truancy.
So I smile as I am getting lost in the dense forest of my childhood episodes.
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 12:28 AM UTC
People think
who will cry, when you die...
Does it really matter?
When you are no more?
An accident,
shaked me inside,
left me thinking...
Who will hold me, when i fall?
Who will pick my broken pieces?
Who will the first person to contact?
When i am in need,
accident like emergency.
My spouse?..ofcourse
kids?..yes
neighbors?...have to
relatives?...probably
kind of friends?...maybe
If none of the above, then?
the God,
the angels,
the divine help sent by the God,
Extension of divinity....
Two youngsters passing by...
Yes! yes! yes!
Really angels do exist.....
Accompany you,
Always guard you,
take human form to help you on time,
Thankful to the young boy and girl for attending me...
thankful to divinity for sending them on time...
May 25, 2017
May 25, 2017 at 2:34 PM UTC
I floated in you as
we ran and you held me
against the wall
and I was very inside
your arms, I was
in you.
He came down as we got
high. You had me on
lock down because I
ran through the basement
and you couldn't keep up
very well. As they questioned
my ability to keep running
as my lips stuck to my teeth.
Staring at you across the room
your eyes raked my body
and your knees shaked.
I'm pretty sure you bit your
lip and stared at me
for awhile.
I was tripping in the hallway when
you came out.
The wall was liquid
and I was painting
with it.
I'm friends with your kind
of ex girlfriend
and I want to feel her
skin against mine.
I want her bones to
grind with me.
And I know I'm very ******
up right now.
But I'm floating in a crowd
and somehow I'm holding
my bladder down.
I am air
and nothing can touch me.
I have to be the image of
perfection soon.
So help me god,
I am no where near
having a halo.
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 5:37 PM UTC
i remember you leaving
for the first time
how my heart felt shattered on the floor
my sister, my mentor
walking out the door
for the first time completely on her own
When you came back,
I remember running
running to office after hearing my name
and there you were
you were no longer on the other side of the country
you were right there
i hugged you so tight my little arms shaked
the office lady was confused
asked if everything was okay
and we just laughed
we smiled like fools
each time it gets easier
it still aches my heart
but my world no longer falls apart
and when you're home its like you never left
this time when you come I'll hold you tight
we will stay up late talking in the night
laughing, hugging, like we used to
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 10:00 PM UTC
Wrapped in a pair of in-commensurable clothing
covered under this thick layers of condemn
frigid thoughts:
they crack ! zoom !
soon shalt it be
whacked ? cleaved ?
possessed by these insecurities..
these dilemmas..
grinning! grinding!
" you dont have sufficient defenses to avoid me "
" you dont have enough exit to ******* escape me "
just because i dont own some 3.5 inches hanging between my thighs
just to extend itself to some 6.5 inches
when it needs to be..
feeded ! shaked !
yes i have been concealed..
enslaved by this hypotrical rapid advanced state of moral decay
not to ever break the treaty..
the treaty ..they chocked me with
all long the genesis
when the sawbones miserably proclaimed " oh its a girl "
but never did she declared how many .
now:
trip over each
hold onto the other
between the mania and back
i am left with a zilch
hollow ! sunken !
nothing but these several Me's.
nothing but these fabricated decorum.
nothing..
but these everything :
I SHRUG!!
Jun 8, 2017
Jun 8, 2017 at 2:24 AM UTC
Un-care goes deep. Looking at that door.
I feel no more...
Who would believe, that just a short-time ago
there was joy in the air; laughter in the eyes; words of care
Seeing the regret in his eyes, the shift in his steps, the rigid chest.
Tears comes to my eyes. I can't believe...
Confused about the meanness
I looked with searching eyes
at the ebbing oneness,
leaking down the steps of the once thought love nest
Raising the question, of why ?
He pierced me with angry, empty eyes.
Why ?
All the reasons given, were nothing but lies and denials
He got what he wanted.
Years of emotional, devotions of love and ***
All the essence of my womanhood drained,
What's left ?
Tried to fight for that love we had
but for him; the hunt was over
I was left bruised and had
I fought and fought and fought some more
Nothing I did or said shaked his demure
He said he loved me, but was not "in love"
couldn't make promises anymore
He cringes at my touch
pulls away, and pushes every step of the way
I've come to terms with myself and the situation
My God, it's been months
turned into a year of Un-care
He retreats to his room
closes his door
I hate that door
UN-CARE
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 8:04 PM UTC
They say we free but are we really free or modern slaves in a plantation tied with invisible mental chains, prisoned to the golden fantasies of a spiritual dimension encoded in a book of light
Our ancestors are demonised in the name of
And our God given dark magic is victimized
As a spiritual sin to an invisible alien sky God
They enforced brutally on the true God's of Alkebulan
Are we really free when spiritually we are still conquered
Will the God who created us fight for us or against us
They took our land
They ***** our women
Took our wild stock
For themselves
And killed our men
Sailed some of the boys
To the new world
Through the altantic
Where some of them were served
As food to creatures of the ocean
Some drowning themselves
For freedom in the spiritual world
Our mother we're left
Widowed & pregnant
To innocent souls
Committed painful sinfully
Tell me are we free when we went trough such
Without reparations
The Jews got it for Hitler's genocide
And others they managed to rebuild
Tell me are we free
Are we free when the DRC is still being exploited
For her minerals & it's war all over
Are we free when the Arabs claim Egyptian history as theirs and opress the true dark pharoas
Are we free when Sudan is in the mist
Of a religious war
It Muslims v Christians
Brotherhood no longer matters
Libya is involved in slave trades
Nigeria is troubled by rebels
South Africa is involved in Afrophobia
Tell me Africa are we really free ?
In the Dispora you had Garvey
Malcom X
Dr Khalid
What did you do with them asks
Dr Clarke ?
They took out Nkrumah
Assassinated Lumumba
Victimized Mugabe
& Exiled Zimbabwe from the world
Destroying our bread & basket
Hunger became a ghost that haunting
The people of Zimbabwe & still does
They Killed Machel
& So died the future of a prosperous Mozambique
They silenced Gaddafi
& Libya became a war Zone
So died the dreams of a United Africa with him
lied about Idi Amin
Shaked Ethopia
Failed in Somalia
And institutionalized the most
Punishious & brutal regime
To the people of the South
Tell me Africa are we free when heavent really dealt with all this trauma
Tell me Africa are we free ?
Tell me are We free ?
Or are we still in *******
Jan 7, 2020
Jan 7, 2020 at 1:39 AM UTC
**one day spring came
and snow wiped out
the whole city in just one day
‘I hate this weather’
I told myself
the next day the sun came
with a winter air
that made the people
bundled up in three layers
‘Oh well. Welcome to Canada’
I shaked my head
as the rain drizzled
making a splash to my parka
The weather report says
next week will be a sunny day
I sang a hum of happy tune
while everyone talked about how the
climate ruined their day.**
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 10:19 AM UTC
You did not need me and anyway, who else did
If I'm wrong then world's got a thing to dismiss
How much I die if I feel for everything
And when I'm right it still ain't nobody's lover's business
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 5:35 PM UTC
*Heart locked. Mind
blocked. My life was
pretty ****** Am I
loved or am I not. I was
drowning in my own
twisted thoughts. Plucked
the petals of the flower in
the *** while i tried to untie
the knotts in my veins and
heart. A twitter interaction
received a DM sent. A twitter
crush began. How about we
hang she said to the stranger
who went to the same college
as she. Sure why not he replied.
Eyes met skin touched while we
shaked hands. Deep thoughts
began in our minds. See you
the next day he said and the
next and the next and all the
other coming tomorrows. I
think you might of casted a
spell on me. He got her life
drunk while she got him love
drunk. I love you they said
online while the clock hit
12:00 a.m and he sent her
a midnight kiss. The next
day he kept holding on her
hand. And this is how our
love story began* ~
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 9:50 AM UTC
When your name popped with that little ding
my heart fluttered and I went dizzy
My hands shaked with anticpation
For the love that I had was Growin
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 8:31 PM UTC
Today when i woke up, i smelled fried chicken lollipop
I stopped myself from getting up coz i was too lazy to do that.
Instead, I opened my laptop and looked at my bag unpacked
I shaked the idea of packing up, yeah right,too lazy to do that.
I looked at the screen, i saw our faces goofing
Nothing can stop me, i just stared and stared.
Someone asked me "who is that girl?"
I shrugged and said, "she is just a girl".
I was surprised by the way i answered and found myself searching
Not for the right response for the question but for the truth about how i feel
That girl isn't just a girl if she stays there on my screen
So I gave myself a minute to think for honest answers.
I kept on staring and that minute felt like hell.
Memories went on pouring like rain and filled the blanks in the air.
I faced the one who asked me, I sighed, and told her sadly,
"She's the girl i wish who was here."
Jun 28, 2014
Jun 28, 2014 at 10:41 AM UTC