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Destiny C Apr 2019
"You're next up"

And ultimately the inevitable reality of what's to come fills your head.

You're next up on life's rollercoaster ride,
but you don't know what lays ahead.
You hear the laughter,
and shouts,
but you don't see it yet.
You don't know what it's about.
Instead of enjoying the wait -
you stand there,
guessing your fate.

But now it's your time.

"Sit tight"

"Keep your arms and feet inside the ride at all times"

So you buckle in -
Not quite ready,
and as the ride takes off,
you sit back steady.
You laugh as you go up & down,
side & around.
The exhilaration of moving at such speeds,
seem to be all you really need.

But then you **** too hard -
Arms and legs nearly flailing outside the ride.
You begin to feel scared,
but you have too much pride.

Then you drop down 400 feet,
the only thing the leaves your body is a deafening scream.
And uncertainty of your willpower to finish this ride set in.

You didn't know you would feel so scared,
when you chose to begin.
And just as you calm down,
another drop happens,
making you wish you'd  hit the ground,
just to escape this rollercoaster ride.
Because buckled in,
there is nowhere to hide.
You wait for it to get better,
but it only gets worse.
You start crying and seeing visions of a hearse.
You see one last loop ahead,
wondering if this is when you'll be pronounced dead.

But you make it through,
upside down and all,
only seeing good things ahead -
so now you're glad you didn't fall.

The rest of the ride is smooth sailing,
no drops,
no arms flailing.
Just the wonders of life taking you to new heights,
but you're no longer scared.
You've been through all the terrors & frights.

So when it's all over,
said & done,
you can look back at the rollercoaster.
With pride now,
instead of fear,
encouraging the young who dare to travel near.
Destiny C Apr 2019
Why can't you love me back?
My hearts beats for you.
Everything I've done is for you.
Every move I make,
and turn I take,
leads to you.

But you don't love me back.

The love I've shown you...
countless days,
I've spent with you-
mean nothing if you can't love me back.

All my dreams lead back to you.
I can't think of anything but you.
You posess me -
and soul.
And I just want you to know,
I have to go,
if you're love for me doesn't show.

We have so much history -
At first it was bliss,
but now it's misery.
I wonder how sweet it is to be loved by you...

Can you please show me?
Give me a reason to stay,
I want to wait and see,
how great we can really be.
I'm not done with you yet,
although I should be.

But I still remember that first kiss,
the first time our lips touched...

But when I showed you my heart,
you could not show me yours.
No matter how deep I dig,
and loyal I stay,
you're love for me-
isn't here today.
Destiny C Apr 2019
Nobody can hate me -
more than I hate myself.
No words are harsh enought to cut like mine,
deep enough to pierce my heart,
but it's okay.
I already have.
Nobody can hurt me,
the way that I hurt myself.
A slap,
or fist,
is nothing like a slice on the wrist -
that I inflict on myself.
Your words can't break me,
your fist can't shake me,
your lies can't hurt me.
Because I -
break myself.
shake myself.
hurt myself.
and most of all,
hate myself.
  Feb 2019 Destiny C
Tanay Sengupta
Rain on me,
I have been longing to be free.
Lost in my world, needlessly.

Rain on me,
I am tired of fighting but I will not sleep.
I refuse to be reigned and I refuse to be a sheep.

Rain on me
and show me the way.
This place is empty and I cannot stay.

Rain on me
because it has been too long.
I am sick and tired of pretending to be strong.

Rain on me,
I want to see the lightning pierce the sky.
As the thunder roars and the clouds fly.

Rain on me.
Let the winds take my mind to another land.
No one needs to know and no one needs to understand.
Tanay Sengupta, Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved.
Destiny C Feb 2019
More than Just *****. .
In fact,
I'm wet when I cry.
Tears stream down my face as I wish to die.
I can put you to bed like a sweet lullaby,
not with my body,
but the sweetness of my mind.
My essence does not lay between two thighs,
instead it beats-
sheltered in my chest.
My heart is made of gold,
pure and fine,
but hard and cold.
I'm not just a body,
but a mind too.
My beautiful thoughts are the deepest part of me,
once you open up,
they will grip you tight enough to make you dive in.
My warmth is all around me,
not just in between my thighs.
But you don't know that yet,
you think it's full of lies.
My heart grows colder as it waits to be touched,
but nobody ever gets close enough.

But once they do,
I'll bring them to ******,
with all my love poured down on them.
Destiny C Dec 2018
I want to be my own breath of fresh air.
I want to be that breath you take,
after you've been trying to hold it in for so long.
That cool cotton air that comforts your soul,
when all you've ever breathed was the world's bitter rancid odor.
I want to be that breath,
letting me know I'm still here.

I want to be my own calm in a storm.
I want my sheer existence to be enough to keep me grounded -
despite the troubled waters around me.
I want my purpose to give me reason to never fear getting swept away into the chaos.

I want to have inner peace.
An unshakeable feeling of calm reassurance that I am going to be okay,
no matter the circumstances around me,
I want to feel okay.

Because at the moment,
I feel like I'm going to decay.
No matter the circumstances around me,
I always feel like I won't live another day.
I'm still holding my breath.
I still fear the storm.
But I promise, I don't want to anymore.
Destiny C Dec 2018
I feel trapped inside my head,
speaking a language nobody can understand.
As I pour my heart out,
casting my pearls upon the people around me,
they turn away.
My words don't matter to them.
They never did.
As I muster the courage to try to speak up again,
I realize I'm alone.
Just one last pearl left for company.
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