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Vani Jul 2021
This time it's different
I told my besfriend.
He replied,
He doesn't talk about you, the way you do about him.
Vani Jul 2021
That feeling of fear that no nobody is ever gonna love me because I messed up stuff is killing me
My anxiety is killing me
I can't think, eat or sleep.
I hate the way I look
My mom blames herself
And I hate that even more
She is not to be blamed
She is not at fault, I am.
Vani Mar 2021
Maybe it's your nose,
or the shape of your eyes,
or the way you smile.

I so sweetly point out the things I hate about my body every day and night.
My mother bought me a pretty yellow floral dress yesterday, I said "nothing looks pretty on me", it made my mother so sad.
I was too busy finding things in my body that need changes.
The feeling when I look at myself in the mirror and wanting to scream is unexplainable and it hurts. It hurts my mother when I tell her I don't like the way I look. It hurt as much as it hurts to feel
Vani Feb 2021
The way we held hands yesterday was beautiful.
Vani Feb 2021
Please let's promise each other to not make the same mistakes again.
Let's be our true selves this time
Please tell me everything, even if you think it will hurt me.
Please tell me I can trust you this time blindly.
Because I really can't go through the same **** again, I am not that strong.
Vani Feb 2021
I saw you almost after 1 year today.
The way you shaked hands with me,
I'm still wondering how you felt.
I can't stop thinking about it.
Only if I could read your mind
I'd know if you still love me too
because i looked into your eyes the same way I used to.
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