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Rhiannon Nov 2017
The feeling of your dissapointment was palpable,
I could taste it on my tongue like I hadn't brushed my teeth in days,
And feel it thick in the atmosphere,
Like heavy smoke from a forest fire.

The grey bags under my eyes did nothing but exclaim my insomnia,
When you told me that maybe I just wasn't going to bed at the right time.
And frustration swam round my bloodstream as I just couldn't get the right pitch to that song I alsways used to sing.

The melancholy rumble from my gut,
Reminded me that I was alone unless I had a full stomach,
My figure didn't matter,
Cause neither I, Let alone anyone else sexualised it.

(No one of my own age that is)

Sleep deprivation rushes round me like gale force winds from a tropic storm,
Lack of money burns holes in my pockets,
and wanderlust nags at my brain like overdue assignments from a College wreck,
Whilst everyones moaning infects me like a plague,
when I find stress spots crawling up my neck.

I am generation Z,
Generation nothing,
Generation give up,
Generation what the ****?
Generation, "Who the hell told you I could live like this?"

But I am privileged,
In a house,
But I am not me.

I am grieving.

I am grieving myself again.
Marie-Lyne Nov 2018
I am loosing interest in myself
In others
In the world surrounding me
I am lost
Not knowing what to feel
How to feel
And what can I do to stop feeling
Does missing someone
Makes us loose ourselves
Does missing someone
Crash us to the ground
Make us desperate
Tell me it’s okay to feel this way
Even if I don’t want to
If I even think this makes me weak
And at others times
I accept that it is perfectly normal
Lost human quality
Should I continue moving on
Even if I don’t feel like it
Can i take a pause
Because my mental health needs some rest
Mark Upright Aug 2018
The World Requires Edmund Black’s Random Acts of Doughnut Kindness (1/36)


a friend mutual on HP
sent me your poem below
asking me to respond appropriately,
close the tale, he said,
and that I would understand,
thinking by being marked,
I had some expertise in the matter

perhaps you are unaware that the world
exists only because there are at least thirty six^
righteous men on the earth and
personally believe,
there are more

who they are, a well kept secret,
but secrets tend to leak so...

only one,
Mr. Edmund,
employs a dozen doughnuts
(chocolate frosted)
to follow through
on the most important
commandment human
love thy neighbor
with a dozen holies

I’m told that like certain loaves of bread,
a dozen doughnuts
now have along with
wine and water
a place in the repertoire of the selector of the
thirty six

which needs noting,
a dozen
is 1/3 of thirty six

sometimes the answers are in the wholes of the holiest!

Edmund black
Jul 15

My Perfect Morning

The climate in the
World may change
But it will never
Change me
not for a moment
I truly have the most
amazing  life ,
Couldn’t be any better
I get up every morning
Next to  this gorgeous
amazing woman
Get my morning kiss
Maybe a few morning kisses
in my open mouth
If you get my drift
Cause you know I’m in love
Sit back in the back patio porch
Listening to Mother Nature’s  
while reading hellopoetry
Few minutes later
I told my lady  I had to
Go run  some errands
Not realizing yet
What’s up ahead,
Arrived and
While in line at Chrispy kreme’s
A little boy about 5 years of age
Loosing his mind over some
Chocolate frosted
Mother and father told him
They couldn’t afford it
They were only there for coffee
Little boy started
crying hysterically
My Heart Cries out for him
And chivalrously I’ve waited
in line right behind them
Just couldn’t allow
That to take place
I told dad if it was okay
I would love to buy the boy
a dozen chocolate frosted
He accepted and gave
me a hand shake
Mom teared up and dad
wouldn’t Stop thinking me
I hate seeing good
People like this
But anyway,
What an awesome moment
A moment of love sharing
And here’s the most
Amazing part of
my early morning outside
Of my morning kisses
I got the longest hug
From the little man
A handshake
From dad
And a kiss on the cheek
From mom
What can be any better
Than the life I live
I do what I want
And it’s mostly
Helping other people
That’s all that matters.
Having meanings in
Other people’s lives
Fulfills me ,
And what more
Can I say ,
My perfect

I live life
For the inexplicable
Life is love and love
     Always gives
^Mystical Hasidic Judaism as well as other segments of Judaism believe that there exist 36 righteous people whose role in life is to justify the purpose of humankind in the eyes of God. Jewish tradition holds that their identities are unknown to each other and that, if one of them comes to a realization of their true purpose, they would never admit it:
William Eberlein Feb 2013
I was struck on the head today.
A crushing blow to be sure.

For any other reason,
it might have killed me.
But due to the passion I bear for you,
and the fear of loosing it,
I clung to life as the hammer slid from my skull.

Only after the do was done,
did I conclude...
That my infliction of an iron grasp means nothing.

And is worth just as much.

For you are blind to my burden...

As I am blind to all but you.
Collins learns Jul 2018
I have been forced,
Out of domicile,
And now **** bored,
With sojourners' world worthwhile.

I used to love phones,
It's versatility in functioning,
Obeying instructions  at all zones,
I loved making calls and chatting .

That was long ago ,
When it made me feel at home,
Simply chatting could let go ,
Steam and heartbreak loom.

Not now at this century ,
Where them need airtime to pick  a call,
Where successive missed  calls arouse no worry,
When they no bother reply at all.

I won't lower my self -esteem,
Not because of them dissaproval,
That I aint  classy and fit for hymn,
Its okey if u take me for a mall.

Needless fight a loosing battle anymore ,
You won't torture me again as u laugh,
Beaming is me at nirvana jaw,
I declare enough is enough.
William Eberlein Jun 2013
You have no clue,
do you?

How easily my heart breaks.

How easily it shatters.

At the thought of loosing you.
InsertPenName Nov 2018
Is hard to sleep when the mind keeps screaming
Instead of dreaming it's choosing to blur the reality a little more
Brimming with shoulds and should nots
Couldn't and could've been
But we would not succumb
Replaying the same memory of the second defeat so we don't morph into an headless hero
Ones and zeroes bounce restless in relentless persuite of the truth
You're a hero even if your greatest feat is not flinging yourself off the cliff
Everyone wants to fly but once in sky
You'll be dying to land and you land too hard you die
You're trying too hard you're not trying hard enough
Which one is it, do we take the next step of giveup
The next step is breathing
So vote maybe?
But it isn't so bad if you look closely
We're not alone but a bit lonely
In a crowd going about discredited the happening
Cutting off the threads, we can't move we're just dangling
The one thing, out if pills of sanity
Spring from attachment
We now have chose between two addictions
We'd rather be free and starve than be behind bars
So we let go
We exist at extremes
They exist in middle
We meet twice everytime
Graze by each other
A bit of refill of regret
A living reminder
We can't sleep
Can't shake the fright
The voices are back in the house
They're looking for a fight
We might let them win this time
J Valle Aug 2016
For those fortunate hearts
Who ignore the feeling
And for those unfortunate ones
Who impose the feeling
You'll know.

It is like forgetting the lyrics
Of your favourite song.
It is like having a cough
That just won't give up.
It is like every punch in the face
You've ever had and will ever have.
It is like forgetting midsentence
The last line of your essence.
It is like not being able to draw
What seemed perfect in your mind.
It is like the feeling you get
When you are strucked by the wind.
It is like spilling something
In your favourite shirt.
It is like a deep ache
You can't locate.
It is like loosing the last piece
Of a 1000 pieces puzzle.
It feels like falling
Without an end nor beginning

If you love someone who won't love you back.
You'll know.
It feels like everything you can think of.
Except for being loved back.
karin naude Jul 2013
for so long i have been fighting this demon that has entangled me in chains so strong it seems unbreakable
it gives just enough release to make me think i am free, laughs sadistic and reigns in the chains
i grab and claw to keep from loosing ground, to no avail
who do i call when my worst enemy is my own body and mind
who can set me free from this prison i call me
most days i'm misinterpreted, it has become so routine, a habit
i also want to move on, move forward, know endless days of joy, not having to carry my buffer in pill form
Nico Julleza Jul 2017
Dull, a boy is he
names he would not plea
eyes like baby blue-
lips a crimson hue
Feelings like me and you

Outsiders he'd not choose
In his mansions he bore
luring himself-
with enchanting lore's
drifting away, loosing woes

A Xenos
Traveling in his hallways
unknown, ominous
a wretched life he portrays
even in his heart, he'd say-
"Loneliness, such a Cliché"

Befriended, unseen
though he's not a devil
-for I believe
tortured, battered on thee
delude by his mistress' skim

He Left
portals out from misery
gone himself eagerly
then comes back, with such
-A Victory
for now, a statured man is he

Knights & Kings
upon bended knees
and everything he please
from a man to a boy
-in a dream
A Castle, now he redeems

#Boy #Castle #Man #Dream

(NCJ)POETRYProductions. ©2017
I post pictures of my body as if I were proud of it, but I’m not.
My thoughts can’t escape my mind and my mind feels like it’s floating outside my body.
I tell myself I’m gonna die one day as if I know it will be soon or maybe because I want it to be.
I fear my future constantly even though I know all it takes to succeed is hard work which I know I can do.
I’m scared that if I even do get the opportunity to build a family I’ll ruin my children with actions I cannot anticipate.
My head is full of “what if’s” and doubt.
Sometimes I look at the fading scars on my body and wonder if I should let them fade because it’s a mark that initially was meant to be permanent, it’s a part of me I feel I can’t let go.
Tee Morris Feb 17
⚠️trigger warning

I wanna put a bullet to my head
My fingertips loosing grip to my life like thread
I feel so down yet I can't help but bottle it up
When I'm sad nothing changes I just wanna cut
I can't seem to escape the feeling of being a disgrace
But it's not my fault, my demons ar hard to face
It's safe to say I have seretonin deficiency
My happiness is clearly in the history
I just wanna die
I miss the way I used to feel
When I didn't hate myself after every meal
Everyone wants me alive
Why won't you just let me die?
⚠️trigger warning
You say I shouldn't try
because you're just too broken.
And that it's all not worth it
because you are just too tied to him.
You say you don't love me,
and so i must begin.
To either stay enslaved by my love,
or do as you say
and break free.
But what you may not see,
is you could be loosing
your chances with me.
I hope
that's not the way it has to be,
but we'll see what's perceived
and what I come to beleive.
But i just want you to know,
that you're the only girl I need.
karin naude Nov 2013
when you left, i was so afraid of forgetting and loosing you,
i gathered all i could find, jealously guarding it,
unwilling to share with anyone, even dad
justifying with, "they had all your life"
i only had my life time with you

i had since come to my senses
realised that no one can take you from me
you live in my heart
i treasure the photographs
some things only i and they know
a secret we whisper to the moon, sun and sky

i never stop missing you
i got accustomed to living with it
i got use to the missing
karin naude Oct 2015
you broke me to feel empowered
what sick math
you lost more than me
trust, myself god can rebuild
loosing someone that really loves you
priceless replace-less
my conscience wont rest
haunted by my loss
powerless to act
filled with guilt and remorse
only crime
trusting and desire to be a family
both ripped from me
the step daughter that is not part of the fantasy being lived
obligated by my faith to forgive 7 x 70
your life joy filled
hardly remembering the unjust
committed and received
my life continuance circle of reliving the bad
you win i loose
you rejoice i die
Nico Julleza Jul 2017
The sky...

A canvas of blue
as I climb up
-on the roof
laying beside you
I counted more-
than one to ten,
dreaming of oriels
till all is well

Up a Hill...

Were I gaze
towers of cupola,
a heavens place
were we dreamed,
To Venus, to Mars
of dancing stars
a wishful reverie,
circling above thee

Then I blink...

Twice to think,
and opened freely
seeing all of You
in tangled vines
Coasting up above
loosing mimes,
an aurora night
on New York's sky

Time traveled...

As eyes passes-
to were it humbled
on fountain trails
and bluish vales
Horizon unwinds
hands that bind
etude punctuates
'twas a circa of mine

Morning rung...

A fadeless runic,
I fell out of flung
following sheets
my bedding's reap
A story unsung
lips were unkissed
wondering why
Love was not found
#Love #Sky #Dream #Roof #Aurora #Nature #Moment

A Moment With Someone, Just a moment... And It Didn't Last
and I Left with no one..

(NCJ)POETRYProductions. ©2017
Calista Holden Nov 2017
creeping under fingertips,
**** licked in helplessness
Thunder down gnawed bone.
loosing senses
loosing intuition
loosing yourself as you find sharper pieces.
slit that noose around your tongue
youll find a leaky faucet,
dripping out demons.

are you still here or are you watching your heart beating.
Ellie Nov 2018
curtains of rain
soaking wet
non-existent tears
an overwhelming storm
will it end ?
head down
drop by drop
loosing her sanity
Debbie Lydon Jan 28
Retreating to the inner citadel of my mind,

It is louder than all external voices.

A courage to change I cannot find,

Loosing free will to habitual choices.

An unease resides in my mind of late,

A feeling of wrong from a source unknown,

Like the sun confined by the bold walls of hate,

This hope grows frail when it stands alone.
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