Sitting in my chair
Messing with my hair,
I read the essay prompt
My brain felt swamped.
I think of you
What would you do?
How do I concentrate?
Can you demonstrate?
Suddenly, a burst of air
fills the room with flare.
It's that damn door
why didn't I notice it before?
I feel the breeze against my flesh
I regain my thoughts and feel fresh
In, I breathe, clearing my head
Out, I push all thoughts of dread.
I take a sip of my cold drink,
Now I can finally think!
I pick up my pen, oh how daft,
I realize as I write my final draft.
A sense of purple, royal inadequacy
Siezes me as I gloss truthly spirits
And invent what they tell me to feel,
Pretty woman, pretty thing
Primitive lonely, primitive thing
Don't look into my skull, for
I'm thinking what they pay me for
But lovely is the feeling
That saviours walk on educated steps
Frowns draw well wrought lines of ponder
Ditches of leprosy dug by the brain,
Pariah, well maybe, well just to myself
What it is I'd forgotten what wishes I work with
I'm leaving a nutshell and entering an essay
Donning a thinking cap woven in led
So there, I wrote something, and it came out coherent
Though I've no idea what it said,
My ramblings lost purpose and for that their quest,
But they buy me a future, and for that
Or perhaps I'm easily lead
Before the ride begins, you always look over the rules and regulations. You look ahead as the group in front of you gets on, and you expect something similar. You've never been on before, and it seems fine enough. You're scared, but he takes your hand and swears that things will be fine. He's been here before when things were a little rocky, but he assures you that this time around, things will be smooth sailing. Glancing over your shoulder, you see the group that was in front having a fun time. The group and his words are enough to convince you that it's okay to get on.
The ride starts out a bit slow, building up your anticipation. This is how it started with the last group, so things should be fine. He holds onto your hand even tighter, and tells you that things will only go up from here. The ride takes you higher and higher, and the view looks amazing from where you are. Everything seems so perfect, so wonderful. You look down to see the clouds below dancing around, and he looks amazed as he looks at you. This is an amazing time, this is what you had been hoping for. This was all you could have ever wanted. And then, that's when the ride stopped.
Things were going just fine, so you start to panic a bit. He tells you that this is normal, and that things will pick up once again. You don't recall the other groups stopping completely, but you have a bit of faith in the situation. You believe that things will eventually be okay, but that doesn't stop you from freaking out. You are new to this, it's understandable. Some things are just a bit unprecedented and you can't predict these situations. And as you start calming yourself down, things start moving again. But they move downward.
Rapidly, your stomach lunges towards your heart and your heart towards your head. You can barely breathe as this downward spiral takes control of you, and there seems to be little you can do. When there isn't any room for you to be in control, it worries you sick. And i'm the midst of all that is going on around, he lets go of your hand and reaches for his own safety feature. Falling, you shut your eyes tightly and pray that it's over soon, though you never did believe in that higher being much.
All you can think about is how this wasn't so visible before. The other group still held onto one another when things seemed to go downward, and it didn't seem to go nearly as fast. And you didn't expect him to let go of your hand, you needed that reassurance constantly, and he let go. But he needed his own reassurance, so that is perfectly fine. You are understanding, and you just silently cry as the ride seems to go on forever downhill.
Until, it climbs again. You open your left eye to peek to make sure you are still alive after such a traumatic point. You look towards him, and though before he did let go, he was still there. And he weakly smiles at you, and grabs your hand again. "Sorry." he mutters. And you gladly accept it. You understand now that things aren't going to be perfect all the time. It will take patience and trust and only then will things be okay in the end. It is slow to the top once again, and though you know that eventually, things will go downhill, this time you are prepared. And though he may just let go again for his own safety, you still will hold on until the ride is over. That is what you must do.
Time has passed—painful, long years—
My words have ceased to flow,
And I am drowned by all these tears,
since you left long ago.
This river—my own torture— flowed passionately in and out.
Rains of my own sentiments poured into a hollow beach.
Helpless cries of restless doubts.
It was you they failed to reach.
Finally, after everything I had seen
—Red skies and starless nights—
I became aware of what it means
Having you once again on my sight.
I found you in the shadows of the moon—the brightest of all stars—
And now that you returned, I can heal the stitching of love’s scars.
What is the void?
There can’t really be such a thing…
How can there be nothing?
You can’t fault me for having trouble wrapping my head around an idea as intricate and deeply infinite as nothing. From a young age, we’re taught that everything, even empty space, is created from protons, neutrons, subatomic particles…
Empty space is always made from something else.
Some describe the void not as a place, but instead as spiritual enlightenment and/or liberation. As detachment from everything. Some describe entering the void as the moment one realizes that if you try too hard to understand then you will miss the point; as the moment where the student realizes that he will never be able to anticipate his masters surprise attack, so, instead of being anxious he accepts his inability to know; as the understanding that holding on is suffering and letting go is freedom.
There is no way to truly talk about the void, about emptiness, because there is nothing tangible to be expressed in words. And yet, our curious human minds are so fixated on using dialogue to try and articulate this commodity.
Words will always fail.
Even if we could wrap our heads around this idea of emptiness, this complete and total lack of anything (comfort, love, hate, despair, joy, happiness, agony(all pieces of this complicated fabric known as human existence)) we would descend into the deepest and darkest of melancholies. The sudden moment of realization that non-being and being are one and the same and that the only thing separating the two is the awareness of being aware and the unawareness of being unaware would be too much to endure. The weight of realizing that nothing is everything, that we are 0 (placeholders for nothing (the extinction of our species before a return to nature untainted imminent)) would prove to be the strongest link of all in these shackles of existence.
What is the void?
Maybe it’s best not to ponder this any further.
Hello friends & wishing you all a very
An auspicious & prosperous DIWALI.
"You aim always for a new glow for a whole year;
Hard work glows your day for the time
Likewise Light is a glowing nature
It is a hope, faith and light shine in your life,
A Candle glows for an hour;
Matchstick glows for a few seconds;
But a wish glows forever.
Here is my wish for a glowing Diwali and glowing year till next time....
On this auspicious festival of Diwali
I wish & pray that, may everyone Life filled with a Sparking color of happiness & Light of Prosperity. May this world & people of this country live with a calmness & Fortune for love.
Diwali is one of my favorite festival & it is also the festival of light where houses are decorated with candles & many more things, making it a perfect festival, it is also one of the most beautiful festivals celebrated around the world through Indian culture, it seen a metaphor instincts for self-improvement and as well representing for a new beginnings. It involves a strong belief in giving to people in need, and performing every ritual by traditionally, a time for new clothes to be worn & Indian sweets is seen as a varieties of colours and flavours are eaten during the celebrations.
So wish you a happy diwali & May this writing platform of hellopoetry continues as the same mark of living, an originality of making a talent into a magic light.
Again, like every festival I use to mention to invite from my heart to all this cheerful people so I am inviting everyone to be a part of Indian festivals and culture... everyone is most welcome to India..
India is Country to experience different Tradition, with a beauty of joy, beauty of passion, beauty of love , beauty of art & beauty of everything that you have never experienced before...
reality is the real life.. ....
Hi, it's me.
But, I mean, you probably already know that.
And you probably already know what I'm about to say, but now you can have proof of the words that run around in my mind endlessly while you enjoy your mothers pasta dinner.
Yes, I miss you. And maybe you don't know it yet, but one day you'll realize what it really felt like.
I've never held a gun between my hands before, but it felt like I was pulling the trigger, guiding the bullets through my heart as you watched and didn't stop me. As I placed the blade between my chest to ensure the only thing that was really keeping me alive was ceased from pounding and then you cleaned the weapon clean so I couldn't remember what happened if I somehow survived.
And although these are things that didn't happen, it's what I feel. And my feelings may be metaphors, but they feel far more than just a figurative language used to compare a thing that has meaning and something that is just simply there.
But maybe you already knew that.
Maybe I'm just saying it for the hell of it.
Some foolish theorem on:
"Relativity & You"
All typed up,
ready to print.
God I hope the printer,
Still has some ink.
the switch is stuck
The Net'll save me!
I think the bills been paid lately.
Mouse has died,
Oh what a wonderful way
To start a College day.
love was always a mystery to me. i never truly understood what it was.
though, i like to think that i did and sadly, i thought everyone else knew what it was too but just like me, it was a mystery.
as someone who grew up without knowing what it truly meant,
i always thought it was something you can look for again after it's gone, something that will make you feel better on your bad days, something that will complete you.
i have loved so many times, or so i think i have.
but honestly, aren't we just a bunch of people throwing around the word love thinking that we know what it means? unintentionally making someone else feel special, not knowing what the consequences of using the word love really are?
now that i am older,
i think i finally understand.
that love is something no one can ever talk about without mentioning how much it actually hurts. loving someone meant truly wanting them in every way possible. most of us cannot handle how imperfect a person may be, and we will try our best to change them because "we only want the best for them." love is not finding perfection in someone's imperfection, but instead it is accepting the imperfections in someone and learning to love it as well.
i know i still can't tell you what love really means but i have found someone who helped me understand what love might be.
i loved every bit and piece of him, i loved everything about him. all his flaws, his appearance, his heart, his personality, his tantrums, the way he talks over me when he gets excited, how he tries to see eye to eye with me even when we have completely different point of views, damn i loved everything. everything that i never thought i'd like, i did anyway. i didn't only want him, i needed him. he did not complete me, but we go so well together. i never wanted to change anything about him even though i wanted to see them do better. i was willing to go through it all with him, good or bad.
is this what love really is? the fact that you know someone's bad side and you still love them anyways?
you see, no matter who i meet in my life and maybe, just maybe i might love them but i will still be able to pinpoint their flaws and maybe those are the things i won't like about them or the things i wish to change about them no matter how much i love them because i am selfish.
but with him, it's different because i loved it all. i still do. i never wish to change anything about him because that wouldn't be the person i love anymore and that's just something i can never do with anyone else, i can't love someone else like this.
he taught me how to be patient, kind and accepting.
but most importantly, he taught me how to love.
sadly, this love is only meant for him and no one else because love is not meant to be thrown around like how we did to others before we have met each other.
i guess your last lesson was teaching me that love also means wanting to see someone obtain the bigger and better things even if it means doing so without you.
i can finally say this to someone and mean it,
i will always love you, no matter what you do, where you go and who you meet in life.
thank you, my love.
How Almost Became My Favorite Word.
There is always that one constant in your life, that person or thing that is always there, never late, that never grows tired of soaking up your tears during the late nights when everything seems to go wrong. My rock solid anchor is James. He is my best friend of two years and boyfriend of a yeat. He never fails to pick up the phone, never hesitates to wrap his arms around me when my atoms start falling apart and making combustions in my brain, he always texts me in the morning, never shows up late and always makes sure I am okay. He's my 100-year-old willow tree, sturdy and safe, branches that shade my head from the rain and hold me high in the sky when the sun is out from behind the clouds. Needless to say, he never fails me. Over time, I grew used to having James around, to him replying to all of my texts and always picking up the phone. One day he didn't pick up. Didn't respond to my ‘good morning' text, or my ‘sneaking away at lunch to tell you I love you' message and when he hadn't got back to me by the end of the school day, I knew something was wrong. Every hour I called him, every 30 minutes I texted him...twice. At eight o'clock I had given up, decided he was ignoring me and turned my phone off. As though he was reading my mind I heard the phone in my dorm ringing, so I went up to it and saw James number flashing on the I.D. I picked it up freezing my vocal chords, preparing the ice queen voice I've been practicing my entire life. I took a deep breath and right as I was about to say something I know I would regret I heard a shaken voice say my name. Any semblance of anger or hurt dissipated from my body as I told the man, whose voice I never heard so much as shiver that I was there. I sat silently in the suddenly too hard chair as I heard him struggle to spit out the words I realize he has spent all day practicing, and finally, I heard a voice more tears than sustenance say "Alex, I might have cancer."
I never knew how fast your world could turn upside down. Now I am not a weak person, I have lived through more than most of my friends, I survived a mother's suicide, a father's absence, and a stepmother's abuse and more destructive bonds than I can count. But at that moment, I felt my stomach sink like I ate a thousand pieces of osmium. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I just sat there. Listening, hearing James tell me he might be dying of testicular cancer and hearing him break down for the first time in years. I remember knowing I had to be strong, having to accept the role of the calm, optimistic girlfriend as I sat there assuring him he was okay, that the doctor would just say it's just a bump, not a tumor, not a deadly thing that could rip my best friend away.
For the next few days, I was in a daze only floating through classes and waiting until I got to talk to him next, waiting until he got the results back. He was a wreck, and so was I but I never let him know how scared I was, I just sat there and promised him I'd be there no matter what no matter what the test results said. I never let my voice quiver when we were on the phone, but right when the call would end I'd walk empty to my room and let the tears slide down my face. I'd stay there for a couple of minutes, fix my makeup, then go back and text him and eat and act normal with friends. I love him too much to show how scared I was because I knew it'd scare him.
A week before I got the call, James and I were talking about words. He asked me what word I despise; I said ‘Almost' and when he asked why I explained to him that almost means that us humans came to the brink of something amazing but fell short just so many times that we made a word for it. The day I got that call I officially changed my least favorite word to malignant. Malignant is the reason my sister died three days before my birth, malignant is the reason my mother killed herself, malignant is the reason I own my uncles Rv, malignant is the reason I dyed my hair pink for a 12-year-old girl, and the reason Sierra stopped attending school. Malignant is the reason my stepmother doesn't have a daughter. Malignant means I spent three weeks vomiting every morning while I waited for the doctor to finally the results back from the tumor that sprouted over the summer as I worried at age 13 if I would end up inheriting my families genes, ones with holes where being healthy is supposed to be. Malignant is the cause of almost because every cancer patient I've met coming so close to something beautiful but falling short.
A few days later I learned that almost can be a beautiful word when I heard in a voice more sunshine than sorrow "It was almost bad, I'm okay, though, it's not cancer, and it's just a weird blood vessel. I don't even need surgery. I'm not going to die." and I remember laughing like the Joker as every feeling of fear and doubt was ripped from my body in an instant, and I remember him laughing along. I learned a lesson that day that no matter how strong someone is and how much they care for you there will still be times when they need you to be strong for them. When you have to shove aside your feelings and simply tell them that everything will be okay, because in the end sometimes that's all they need to hear.