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"guessed" poems
in a room full of peacocks i am now an ostrich and i don't know if any of you know how it feels to be a splash of grey in a room full of brilliant blues and greens it's like being a lonely, pitiful cloud against a blue sky with leafy trim maybe i have my head in the sand because i don't want to be shallow but you'd be right if you guessed it's because i actually don't want to be seen when my face looks like this which is such a cowardly thing to do (i really shouldn't care) i read Journey to the Center of the Earth in middle school, and the only thing i remember is that it was the volcanoes that erupted (like the hives that erupted across my face this past week) that led them to find it- the heart of life and natural beauty; more breathtaking than the flawless plumage of the peacocks
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Feb 1, 2013
Feb 1, 2013 at 11:18 PM UTC
in a room full of peacocks
I am quick to cry and to anger and people think I'm strange. They don't see how hard I try to control it, I know I'm seen as deranged. Emotions can be overbearing and it's difficult to stay quiet when someone upsets me It's simply not easy to hide it. I guessed for a long time that the issue was with me. But I thought I could watch maybe learn their technique. For keeping a cool head when things get heated. Instead of losing it over nothing and feeling totally defeated. I was wrong it turned out. I don't have breaks I have border as in borderline personality disorder. I got a diagnosis and was incredibly afraid that people would treat me like someone who'd contracted the plague. While I wasn't right, I wasn't totally wrong, mental illness is unfortunately still mostly ignored. If I was unwell with a headache, people would ask 'Are you okay?' 'Here I've got Panadol Actifast.' But when the ills In the mind and I say 'I'm feeling down' 9 times out of 10 people get freaked out. So it's tough when you're shamed For having a disorder A lot of normal people suffer So could your son or daughter. So next time you hear someone say 'I'm feeling down.' Do me one favour and please, just don't freak out. It's hard enough already dealing with this day to day without having friends turn their backs and walk away.
0
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 12:02 AM UTC
BPD
Le ***** Quest Glasses up, Hair down *** up, Face down Ignore the sisters, I’m after the cousins The catholic approved crevasse to bust in I wouldn’t say im obsessed But the ***** demon has me possessed I’d call you blessed, its what you guessed I’m hard pressed to bend you east and get at the west I’m on a ***** quest with a lascivious request to admire the caboose cleft I can’t repent the intent of this unspent cement But I’ll give up hemp for lent Embark on a posterior pilgrimage of preposterous proportions, Devoted to the search for thy voluminous bloons for which I swoon
0
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 11:50 PM UTC
Le ***** Quest
There's a yellow green gas, You can't see in your glass. Sometimes you can tell, It's there by the smell. It does a great job removing bacteria, Like Diphtheria, Or even Listeria. But what do you think, Happens to the chlorine in your drink? I don't want to alarm, But there's a chance it might harm. It protects at a price, Attacking our bacteria that are nice, And I'm sure it excels, At killing your own cells, Forcing new ones to grow, When a mistake could cause woe. Some studies have found it an enhancer, Of bladder and bowel cancer. Whether old or young, Do you want it in your lung? You have the power, To remove it from your shower. It's rather grim, To have to breathe it when you swim. You're more likely to wheeze, Or sneeze. Do you think it will please, Your inflammatory bowel disease? Perhaps it's the key, To why there's Crohns and UC. Do you think that your skin, Might become a little thin, And be filled with dread, As it starts to turn red. Can you not feel, How it's harder to heal? It makes our tissues grow old, From what I've been told. Our cells can only divide, A few times before they're stupified. With asthma and chlorine on a map, You can see they overlap. Sadly in the West, Not everyone has guessed, That there may be a link, With the gas in our drink. “But!”, I hear you cry, “Without it people will die.” Let go of your dread, We can use something instead. The answer is well known, It's called 'ozone'. Made from pure water, It's gone when it reaches my daughter, Unlike chlorine it's life is brief, What a relief. There's many a city, That make it with electricity, Splitting water into hydrogen, And best of all, oxygen! For ozone is made from O2, Yes, it's true! Imagine if you had, Water with nothing they add. Already there's Paris and Nice in France, Where people can dance. San Diego and Los Angeles in the USA, Have water that's ok. And Osaka in Japan, Now use this plan. But you don't have to be rich, To make the switch. Ask a clever committee, To stop chlorine in your city. See if you can arrange, To have your water change. I hear you shout, “Can 'I' get this chlorine out?” If you leave water in a jug overnight, What's left will be slight. Boiling will send it away in the air, So there's no need to despair. You can also remove it with a filter, Or a water distiller. To learn more have a look, At 'Question Chlorine' on facebook.
0
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 5:05 AM UTC
The Chlorine in Your Water
There's a yellow green gas, You can't see in your glass. Sometimes you can tell, It's there by the smell. It does a great job removing bacteria, Like Diphtheria, Or even Listeria. But what do you think, Happens to the chlorine in your drink? I don't want to alarm, But there's a chance it might harm. It protects at a price, Attacking our bacteria that are nice, And I'm sure it excels, At killing your own cells, Forcing new ones to grow, When a mistake could cause woe. Some studies have found it an enhancer, Of bladder and bowel cancer. Whether old or young, Do you want it in your lung? You have the power, To remove it from your shower. It's rather grim, To have to breathe it when you swim. You're more likely to wheeze, Or sneeze. Do you think it will please, Your inflammatory bowel disease? Perhaps it's the key, To why there's Crohns and UC. Do you think that your skin, Might become a little thin, And be filled with dread, As it starts to turn red. Can you not feel, How it's harder to heal? It makes our tissues grow old, From what I've been told. Our cells can only divide, A few times before they're stupified. With asthma and chlorine on a map, You can see they overlap. Sadly in the West, Not everyone has guessed, That there may be a link, With the gas in our drink. “But!”, I hear you cry, “Without it people will die.” Let go of your dread, We can use something instead. The answer is well known, It's called 'ozone'. Made from pure water, It's gone when it reaches my daughter, Unlike chlorine it's life is brief, What a relief. There's many a city, That make it with electricity, Splitting water into hydrogen, And best of all, oxygen! For ozone is made from O2, Yes, it's true! Imagine if you had, Water with nothing they add. Already there's Paris and Nice in France, Where people can dance. San Diego and Los Angeles in the USA, Have water that's ok. And Osaka in Japan, Now use this plan. But you don't have to be rich, To make the switch. Ask a clever committee, To stop chlorine in your city. See if you can arrange, To have your water change. I hear you shout, “Can 'I' get this chlorine out?” If you leave water in a jug overnight, What's left will be slight. Boiling will send it away in the air, So there's no need to despair. You can also remove it with a filter, Or a water distiller. To learn more have a look, At 'Question Chlorine' on facebook.
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87
I should've guessed, I should've known. If there's a lightning, thunder will come. That I was a guest, this wasn't my home, but I was just too afraid to be alone. Winds might change after tomorrow and the sea my pain could somehow swallow. But today there's this mountain of sorrow, that blocks the sun, and makes me feel hollow.
0
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 11:20 AM UTC
=Block the Sun=
This ... Disrespect thing ... is ... OUT OF CONTROL ... !!! from work to ... Street Corners ... to ... most peoples' ... " Homes " ... !!! My Poetry .... Roams ............................. just like ... " Mobile Phones " ... to send out ... " This Vibe " ... Disrespect ... NEEDS TO ... die ... !!!!! We NEED TO ... " Respect " ... This Thing ... we call ... " Life " ... LOVE ... One Another ... !!! RESPECT .... is what's ... Right ... !!! Take things ... in your stride ... DISMISS ...................................... foolish pride cos' ... Pride like they say ... comes before ... A Fall ... !!! and next thing ... You've guessed it ... You're facing ... A WALL ... A wall ... FILLED WITH ... Bullies ... !!! just ready to .... BRAWL ... !!!!! But bullies ... are Dummies ... whose thought waves are ... "small" ... Like those who believe ... in avoiding ... School Halls ... ?!? That line's ... for those kids ... with ... SLEEPLESS ... Eyelids ... !!! ALWAYS ... think of ... THIS A Bully is .... weak ... !!! So Don't ... lose your sleep ... !!! cos' bullies ... DON'T THINK ... of the ... " Sows " ... that they reap ... ?!? OKAY ... Yes I mean ... They'll reap ... what they sow ... !!! Well ... ? Maybe I don't ... ??? But ... One Thing ... I KNOW ... !!! IS ... most bullies ... Don't See ... that the ... Sickness ... they keep ... is REALLY ... A Sickness ... that slowly ...... just Creeps ... A Sickness ... That'll give em' ... YES ...   One ... " FINAL " ... Sleep. and this may be ... " Why "... ? Our Youth ...... Die on streets ..... !!! The Cycle's ... Complete ... from Rappers who talk ... about ... Killing Emcees ... ?!? to crimes some ... " Commit " ... Against ... " Humanity " ... I'm looking for ... " Peace " ... in places ... I be ... But let's get things ... STRAIGHT ... Don't come ... Pushing Me ... !!!!! Be ... Nice ... and ... Believe Me ... I'll be ... Nice to you ... !!! I may ... turn my cheek .... if you give me ... Abuse ... ? But .... !!!!! That's cos' I choose ... NOT TO ... act the ... " Fool " ... but .... Anything's Possible ... I've got ... Two Hands Too ... !!!!! I put that verse in .... to PROVE ... Peace ... Can Be ... COOL ... !!! But everyone's temper ... has Boundaries Too ... !!!!! So ... what do you do ... ? when THUGS ... approach you ... ?!? Well this ... I CAN'T ... tell you ... cos' ... I am NOT ... You ... !!! I'm simply ... Advising ... Fighting NEEDS ...  " Downsizing " .... !!!! But ..... This thing ... RESPECT ... Really NEEDS ... An ... UPRISING ... !!!!! cos' Violence ... INFECTS ... and ... CANNOT ... Protect ... The world and ... It's ... People ... So take time and ... " Check " ... The thoughts I ... " Collect " ... and take time ... Before ... Dishing out .... " Disrespect " ....
0
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 14, 2017 at 7:02 PM UTC
" Disrespect " ... A Poem written by Big Virge 22/04/2005
This ... Disrespect thing ... is ... OUT OF CONTROL ... !!! from work to ... Street Corners ... to ... most peoples' ... " Homes " ... !!! My Poetry .... Roams ............................. just like ... " Mobile Phones " ... to send out ... " This Vibe " ... Disrespect ... NEEDS TO ... die ... !!!!! We NEED TO ... " Respect " ... This Thing ... we call ... " Life " ... LOVE ... One Another ... !!! RESPECT .... is what's ... Right ... !!! Take things ... in your stride ... DISMISS ...................................... foolish pride cos' ... Pride like they say ... comes before ... A Fall ... !!! and next thing ... You've guessed it ... You're facing ... A WALL ... A wall ... FILLED WITH ... Bullies ... !!! just ready to .... BRAWL ... !!!!! But bullies ... are Dummies ... whose thought waves are ... "small" ... Like those who believe ... in avoiding ... School Halls ... ?!? That line's ... for those kids ... with ... SLEEPLESS ... Eyelids ... !!! ALWAYS ... think of ... THIS A Bully is .... weak ... !!! So Don't ... lose your sleep ... !!! cos' bullies ... DON'T THINK ... of the ... " Sows " ... that they reap ... ?!? OKAY ... Yes I mean ... They'll reap ... what they sow ... !!! Well ... ? Maybe I don't ... ??? But ... One Thing ... I KNOW ... !!! IS ... most bullies ... Don't See ... that the ... Sickness ... they keep ... is REALLY ... A Sickness ... that slowly ...... just Creeps ... A Sickness ... That'll give em' ... YES ...   One ... " FINAL " ... Sleep. and this may be ... " Why "... ? Our Youth ...... Die on streets ..... !!! The Cycle's ... Complete ... from Rappers who talk ... about ... Killing Emcees ... ?!? to crimes some ... " Commit " ... Against ... " Humanity " ... I'm looking for ... " Peace " ... in places ... I be ... But let's get things ... STRAIGHT ... Don't come ... Pushing Me ... !!!!! Be ... Nice ... and ... Believe Me ... I'll be ... Nice to you ... !!! I may ... turn my cheek .... if you give me ... Abuse ... ? But .... !!!!! That's cos' I choose ... NOT TO ... act the ... " Fool " ... but .... Anything's Possible ... I've got ... Two Hands Too ... !!!!! I put that verse in .... to PROVE ... Peace ... Can Be ... COOL ... !!! But everyone's temper ... has Boundaries Too ... !!!!! So ... what do you do ... ? when THUGS ... approach you ... ?!? Well this ... I CAN'T ... tell you ... cos' ... I am NOT ... You ... !!! I'm simply ... Advising ... Fighting NEEDS ...  " Downsizing " .... !!!! But ..... This thing ... RESPECT ... Really NEEDS ... An ... UPRISING ... !!!!! cos' Violence ... INFECTS ... and ... CANNOT ... Protect ... The world and ... It's ... People ... So take time and ... " Check " ... The thoughts I ... " Collect " ... and take time ... Before ... Dishing out .... " Disrespect " ....
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95
We held hands as time's sand passed between. Night chocked the last sun beams. Our conversation was pertinent to the dwindling red wine bottle. As the moon glazed shore began to roar, she whispered "Let's cuddle." I dropped you, holding her, and thought "Oh" and began to coddle. I wrapped myself around her like a shell to a turtle and she began to nestle on my chest. I guessed the indigestion came from the Bordeaux bottom. Boy, was I wrong. See, as I lay with her, forgetting about you, I remembered blood is thicker than water. The loves we choose are stronger than ones We've fallen into. I wasn't falling there, underneath the stars, next to the parked car. I was laying. I was contemplating as the wind was spraying the lake into the air. I came to the conclusion I was in an illusion of  love. Confounded by smoke and reflections from movie magicians. She looked up to me and I guess she could see my reality crumbling in the breeze. She asked if I was ok. My slight smile alluded I was and we laid in love until the sun's intrusion.
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May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 4:44 PM UTC
Moonlight Disillusion
Well it's dark outside, I'm lying on bed those thoughts of you crawl back into my head laid together in a passionate embrace a look of lust and desire plastered on your face the bed creaking, the neighbors hearing more... and more I never would've guessed how naughty you are, you took me by surprise on the floor now we're in bed, biting, thrusting for all we're worth making love until the sun arises to awaken the earth oh how lovely this would be oh wait I'm alone.... back to the website for me!
0
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 1:55 AM UTC
Nighttime **** Sunday)
I remember all the things that we wanted All the memories That haunted My Dreams. Now I started my recovery I recall our fantasies of being famous I know I become so dismissive and careless And no one would've guessed I'm the one who made you feel blessed. Yeah I started my recovery And after all those days Darling, you did walk away Ignored all the questions I asked Now our nights are dead and gone and passed. In my recovery I sacrificed who I am, myself... And me. In my recovery I hoped I'd become Who I'm suppose to be In my recovery I lost what I need To break free It's a long road up to recovery A long way back to the light A long road up to recovery A long way to making it right Darling, sweet lover, won't you help me to recover...
0
Jun 1, 2014
Jun 1, 2014 at 2:45 PM UTC
{Recovery}
Thump, thump. Thump, thump. I lie my head there on your chest and find my absolute favorite place to rest. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. And I've been tested many times over in my quest for peace, but I never would have guessed I'd find it so quickly with you. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Your heartbeat is the rhythm of my universe.
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Jun 20, 2014
Jun 20, 2014 at 11:27 PM UTC
Heartbeats
494 Going to Him! Happy letter! Tell Him— Tell Him the page I didn’t write— Tell Him—I only said the Syntax— And left the Verb and the pronoun out— Tell Him just how the fingers hurried— Then—how they waded—slow—slow— And then you wished you had eyes in your pages— So you could see what moved them so— Tell Him—it wasn’t a Practised Writer— You guessed—from the way the sentence toiled— You could hear the Bodice tug, behind you— As if it held but the might of a child— You almost pitied it—you—it worked so— Tell Him—no—you may quibble there— For it would split His Heart, to know it— And then you and I, were silenter. Tell Him—Night finished—before we finished— And the Old Clock kept neighing “Day”! And you—got sleepy—and begged to be ended— What could it hinder so—to say? Tell Him—just how she sealed you—Cautious! But—if He ask where you are hid Until tomorrow—Happy letter! Gesture Coquette—and shake your Head!
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7.6k
Going to Him! Happy letter!
let us toast, my dear, to making it this far. even with our tortured minds and glazed eyes; hell, who would've guessed it? // it's a good thing you don't wear mascara in public. then again, maybe it doesn't really matter. you only cry when you're alone. and i'm sure you're more broken than you seem, though you still manage to get up and plaster a smile onto your cold, blank face each dreary morning. // i am not the poster child of happiness, or wealth, or intelligence. (they don't know that, though.) failure is in my veins, mistakes written into my skin with permanent marker -- the same one they use to write all those A+s. // is it really faking if we believe it, too? bravo, bravo, look how good we've gotten -- believing our own little white lies. but little white lies never hurt nobody. // right?
0
Jul 28, 2014
Jul 28, 2014 at 10:18 PM UTC
utopia
* Never Have I felt a December So cold, so lonely. The walk along the lake, That changed a fate The stumble in the snow, I didn’t let go. The daring walk, Onto thin ice Are you watching? My attempts to see a rise in you. So delicate was that goodbye Darkness, up the long road Upon the destination, no one knew I ran home, To see you waiting there. You waited for me, For hours I guessed. This time a true Goodbye We made a plan, So sketchy at first. Maybe Just nervous? Never knowing, what could unfold We changed our plans. Much more bold. I rambled on, For hours it seemed. Until we arrived, To a bran new scene Both so nervous, But we knew what we wanted. I motioned you closer, No cold shoulder. Comfortably sat, Until the movie was over We met some friends, later that night Continued to smile, Be polite. Just dreaming of holding you tight I think I might… A gentle kiss upon your lips I did not miss. Out in the cold, yet, All I felt was warmth The warmness of you and I, Another night Goodbye Sit next to me in the morning, The bell is ringing… I’m ignoring So captivated by your smile. Again I depart. Goodbye. The night before Christmas eve, We stayed awake for hours Until our wish Had finally come true Its been a year Since that December And yet I miss you, Just as much as I remember That December so warm, Now it plagues me with cold No longer we are. Growing old Goodbye December, December! How I hate you now Drown my mind In your white lies. No longer, Can I see your eyes I have grown old of these, goodbyes… December The month that will, Confuse me forever Lost in the blizzard Of my mind We always say that, “truth is hard to find” Goodbye DECEMBER goodbye… *
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Nov 4, 2010
Nov 4, 2010 at 2:49 PM UTC
December
* Never Have I felt a December So cold, so lonely. The walk along the lake, That changed a fate The stumble in the snow, I didn’t let go. The daring walk, Onto thin ice Are you watching? My attempts to see a rise in you. So delicate was that goodbye Darkness, up the long road Upon the destination, no one knew I ran home, To see you waiting there. You waited for me, For hours I guessed. This time a true Goodbye We made a plan, So sketchy at first. Maybe Just nervous? Never knowing, what could unfold We changed our plans. Much more bold. I rambled on, For hours it seemed. Until we arrived, To a bran new scene Both so nervous, But we knew what we wanted. I motioned you closer, No cold shoulder. Comfortably sat, Until the movie was over We met some friends, later that night Continued to smile, Be polite. Just dreaming of holding you tight I think I might… A gentle kiss upon your lips I did not miss. Out in the cold, yet, All I felt was warmth The warmness of you and I, Another night Goodbye Sit next to me in the morning, The bell is ringing… I’m ignoring So captivated by your smile. Again I depart. Goodbye. The night before Christmas eve, We stayed awake for hours Until our wish Had finally come true Its been a year Since that December And yet I miss you, Just as much as I remember That December so warm, Now it plagues me with cold No longer we are. Growing old Goodbye December, December! How I hate you now Drown my mind In your white lies. No longer, Can I see your eyes I have grown old of these, goodbyes… December The month that will, Confuse me forever Lost in the blizzard Of my mind We always say that, “truth is hard to find” Goodbye DECEMBER goodbye… *
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86
Show in contented rest bringing ghosts company wished greenly how did you know? Bleeding on too long they had to be cut down from hooks and ropes in order of feeding. Liars causing problems complicated sacrament with slickness under blackberry briars. Safe from hawks stay in Juicyland where it's prickly free from **** This song triples guessed foxy playing hard around leafy bush only snake does not miss. Dance my badger spirit agile amongst complexity ward off and wander. Kangaroo mouse prance. Survival in stickers only seasonal escape. Where to hide from next your sly rival?
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Apr 6, 2016
Apr 6, 2016 at 10:40 AM UTC
Code of Kangaroo Mouse
There’s a crack in my windshield growing bigger by the day It’s like a manifestation of the words I want to say Your calm demeanor disrupts my flow There’s more to you; there’s more to know Of all the people I never would have guessed And I’ve never been good at the marshmallow test This change of pace I don’t quite get Please kind sir, are you in love with me yet?
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Jun 20, 2013
Jun 20, 2013 at 3:27 AM UTC
Viking
*kiss me in the storm and wipe the raindrops from my face, you're more afraid to know my tears. so that's what you meant, when you said "forever", you meant "for now". well i guessed that eternity was a fake and the last page number would be even but then i was wrong because you took more than i could give you and the odds were never in my favor french songs sung with the breath of cold *** and dizzy dancing on the back porch with you but it didn't mean enough to be remembered, the photographs burned out with our love.*
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Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013 at 10:50 PM UTC
falling out of love with you, d.f.
They say that you should never Push a loyal person Past the point where they don't care. Clearly you never heard that. Or maybe you just don't care. Either way, you've made a large mistake. Because now all the anger That I've been saving all these years, All the fury I've been hiding- Finally has release. Every single person That's ever done me wrong, Every last wrong doing That I have withstood, Now falls upon your shoulders Along with what you've done, As if your own actions Weren't bad enough alone. They say that you should never Push a loyal person Past the point where they don't care. But maybe now you've guessed That it's far too late for you. Because I'll smile and I'll laugh I'll be pleasant around you. You'll think that all is fine, You'll fall into false comfort, And when you try your games again You'll fall flat upon your face.
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Apr 20, 2014
Apr 20, 2014 at 6:04 PM UTC
Push a Loyal Person
Little smile Written on a sheet of notebook paper Guitar strings Plucked by a boy who's midnight hair masks his true personality Shy kid of 17 No visible emotions just strings Guitar strings You look at him with broken promises from past lovers tattooed to your pupils While the only thing made permanent in his are music notes And though those are there for you too The cons outweigh the pros An open mic night Who could've guessed that what I was planning on as "just another open mic" might have turned into this But things don't always go as planned For me they almost never do And while I usually try to view the glass as as full More times than not things turn out the opposite way Leaving me... Half empty So think of this poem as your warning I know more than anyone that sometimes it may seem like my baggage is deemed too heavy to carry And if it appears to be too much for you Just do me a favor and let me know before I unpack into your space Guitar strings caught my attention Loose threads on the sweater of my unraveling attention span Take a chance Take the plunge Let yourself fall into a new romance Don't think Just.. Do.
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Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 1:52 PM UTC
Guitar Strings
the body of this poem is about two bodies, sometimes poetic things are ***** and sometimes ***** things are poetic things under the dirt of what i'd been taught my whole life about my virginity. i was told that if i lost it i wouldnt be able to find it again. i was not told about a boy, tall and skinny and blonde, blue-gray eyes, i was not told that i would kiss him, i was not told that my kiss would be his first. i didnt know at the time that summer would collapse into one moment, i could never have guessed that two crazy transgender boys could coincide with virginity as strongly as we pressed our bodies together. i was fourteen years old and my body was a choppy pencil sketch of anorexia and rib damage, of breast tissue and scar tissue, of anxiety and hipbones. he was fifteen years old and to me he was beautiful, everything strange and weird in our brains was erased and forgotten, fogged up with our heavy breathing. i am wrapped up in firsts and lasts and the first time was not entirely the world-shattering that it was built up to be, we were built up, and then i forget why we stopped. but we stopped. but we stopped being far apart and afraid to tell each other how close we wished we were. we learned how to commit heavy sins, the kind that make you feel good. we learned that our relationship is textbook unhealthy, but unhealthy people means unhealthy partners means unhealthy- means **** off, we are trying our best and **** you, this is what love means. this tangle of fingers. we learned that we have to not only have secrets but become them. we didnt have to be taught what it feels like to need someone. we didnt need to learn how it tastes to be absolutely sure of something. my entire life i was taught that i should save myself for a man, but instead i let go of myself and loved a boy.
0
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 10:24 AM UTC
Virginity
the body of this poem is about two bodies, sometimes poetic things are ***** and sometimes ***** things are poetic things under the dirt of what i'd been taught my whole life about my virginity. i was told that if i lost it i wouldnt be able to find it again. i was not told about a boy, tall and skinny and blonde, blue-gray eyes, i was not told that i would kiss him, i was not told that my kiss would be his first. i didnt know at the time that summer would collapse into one moment, i could never have guessed that two crazy transgender boys could coincide with virginity as strongly as we pressed our bodies together. i was fourteen years old and my body was a choppy pencil sketch of anorexia and rib damage, of breast tissue and scar tissue, of anxiety and hipbones. he was fifteen years old and to me he was beautiful, everything strange and weird in our brains was erased and forgotten, fogged up with our heavy breathing. i am wrapped up in firsts and lasts and the first time was not entirely the world-shattering that it was built up to be, we were built up, and then i forget why we stopped. but we stopped. but we stopped being far apart and afraid to tell each other how close we wished we were. we learned how to commit heavy sins, the kind that make you feel good. we learned that our relationship is textbook unhealthy, but unhealthy people means unhealthy partners means unhealthy- means **** off, we are trying our best and **** you, this is what love means. this tangle of fingers. we learned that we have to not only have secrets but become them. we didnt have to be taught what it feels like to need someone. we didnt need to learn how it tastes to be absolutely sure of something. my entire life i was taught that i should save myself for a man, but instead i let go of myself and loved a boy.
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2
Once upon a time there was a girl that couldn’t tell stories. One night, she wanted to tell someone a story Because it was dark and she longed to sleep And she never seemed to be able to sleep Even though she had heard so much ******** About counting sheep and drinking hot cocoa She knew none of it worked And it was no use being hopeful But little children always asked to have bedtime stories read to them And she guessed it helped Because children sleep and they dream and they imagine …she wished she could imagine So she tried to tell a story Because there was no one to tell her one But because there was no one to tell her a story There was no one to hear her story She was lonely So lonely that she didn’t even want to talk to herself anymore (Something she did with frequency) Even she wanted to leave herself alone She was irritated by her shadow And this was why she wanted to tell stories So she could forget about the loneliness And sleep But when she tried to think about something; about anything She found it hard to imagine Because her dreams weren’t images anymore Only feelings So she decided to tell a story to nobody About how she felt Rather than what she couldn’t imagine And couldn’t create It was about what she hates And how uncomfortable she is So… she fixated her eyes at a spot on the wall That would listen to her intently She took a breath And said: “Once upon a time… … … … I hate. I’m uncomfortable.”
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Mar 13, 2012
Mar 13, 2012 at 11:52 PM UTC
A Really Awful Bedtime Story- By An Non-Creative Mind
Somewhere in this world, I've heard that it's true, That a creature exists, with huge eyes that are blue, A small kind of creature, you'd mistake for a mouse, A small kind of creature, with a small kind of house, Now this creature is kind and so full of affection, But the worlds big and scary, so it requires protection, But fear not young Snuggle-Bug, you are destined to find, Another such creature, that's also so kind, A creature that's known, from the east to the west, As the Snuggly-Buggly if you hadn't have guessed, Now the Snuggly-Buggly is small but it's strong, And it holds the Snuggle-Bug in it's arms which are long, Now it keeps it warm and it keeps it secure, It gives it some love, and it gives it some more, If one makes a mistake, a hug's what they're given, Because each of them knows, they'll always be forgiven, Now remember this Snuggle-Bug, no matter what you do, The Snuggly-Buggly will always love you.
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Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 12:12 PM UTC
The Snuggle-Bug
Weeks past Having no motivation to pick myself up The universe smiled upon me And sent a boy with his head in the stars. Blank My mind draws a blank. Having burnt my past I'm speechless My heart races and I can feel my face flush An unexplainable sensation overpowers my body. Starting over. Its almost as if the frozen winter forged a blank slate And the affections from this boy melted away everything... The rush, the butterflies, it all feels new again. Like I have never fallen in love before My new sensations are accompanied by a changed mindset I was truly a new person. Memories from past loves Cannot compare to my heart's newest obsession Such sweet words... Sugar coated but genuine. Everything... His gaze, his walk, his talk It all makes my heartache My tongue is tied as he showers me in compliments Oh his eyes The way he looks at me and tells me I'm beautiful I feel as if im drowning But why? I'm an experienced lover and swimmer. But the fog caused by his intoxicating scent makes my past seem ages ago. Why is this all so fresh... My thoughts are spinning And before I can even ask my mind for advice We're dating. I was following my heart entirely. I'm so stunned It's as if I was wiped clean of my past (and confidence) Starting over.....again. Never thought it would feel so Natural And so the winter trudges on His arms around me keeping the fire alive Snuggling while watching Star Wars Fueling each other's passions. I would have never guessed my fate just a month earlier. Thanks universe.
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Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013 at 12:45 AM UTC
The Sanctuary Part 6
Weeks past Having no motivation to pick myself up The universe smiled upon me And sent a boy with his head in the stars. Blank My mind draws a blank. Having burnt my past I'm speechless My heart races and I can feel my face flush An unexplainable sensation overpowers my body. Starting over. Its almost as if the frozen winter forged a blank slate And the affections from this boy melted away everything... The rush, the butterflies, it all feels new again. Like I have never fallen in love before My new sensations are accompanied by a changed mindset I was truly a new person. Memories from past loves Cannot compare to my heart's newest obsession Such sweet words... Sugar coated but genuine. Everything... His gaze, his walk, his talk It all makes my heartache My tongue is tied as he showers me in compliments Oh his eyes The way he looks at me and tells me I'm beautiful I feel as if im drowning But why? I'm an experienced lover and swimmer. But the fog caused by his intoxicating scent makes my past seem ages ago. Why is this all so fresh... My thoughts are spinning And before I can even ask my mind for advice We're dating. I was following my heart entirely. I'm so stunned It's as if I was wiped clean of my past (and confidence) Starting over.....again. Never thought it would feel so Natural And so the winter trudges on His arms around me keeping the fire alive Snuggling while watching Star Wars Fueling each other's passions. I would have never guessed my fate just a month earlier. Thanks universe.
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46
Her Masterpiece Is Her Story Her paintbrush is a razor, Her canvas, her wrists, "I deserve the pain." She shrugs and insists. One day the brush will push down, And it will cut so deep, That this girl will fall into an eternal sleep. She doesn't remember how she started What brought her interest to this, How do you discover, that cutting is your form of bliss? No one would have guessed that she does it. No one would have considered this one. This girl is forever fighting a battle, that she thinks the demons have won. Her artwork is all over her, Her beauty is on her thighs, and if you look in her old trash, you'll find her letters of goodbye. Her masterpiece is quite disturbing, Her masterpiece is a little gory, Her artwork is her escape. Let me tell you her story. She compares herself to every person, She is compared to each girl. She thinks she's hideous, And there's this boy that is her world. She was bullied and picked on, She was teased from head to toe, Hard to believe that her best friend, was her one and only foe. Then later she disliked every little thing, Her body, face and even her mind, Soon she saw she was a failure, and it was just in due time... That this girl couldn't take it anymore She'd decided she was done living this, So one day she went home and decided to end it. Everyday for multiple days, This girl would try to drown, Hard to believe this girl at school, never ever wore a frown. Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying, Praying that she'd be enough, Because she didn't want to leave her family. She knew about their sweet love. This girl found hope in small things eventually, She soon would see this beautiful light, and find a REAL best friend, that helped her put up a fight. Her masterpiece soon was leaving, Her artwork was almost faded, and it gave her a sick feeling, the feeling of being jaded. She found a boy that actually loved her, And showed her love exists, And this boy too had a masterpiece, placed close to his wrists. He related to her and she related to him. She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone, When she cut herself it hurt him, Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own. Her masterpiece effected others, Her artwork wasn't just for herself, She now had people, who saw her cries for help. And then her family found out, So then they saw the art too, to them they were just scars, To her they were the truth. She's trying to be okay now, She thinks she might survive, Even though they didn't think to take away the knives.
0
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 4, 2015 at 10:24 AM UTC
Her Masterpiece Is Her Story
Her Masterpiece Is Her Story Her paintbrush is a razor, Her canvas, her wrists, "I deserve the pain." She shrugs and insists. One day the brush will push down, And it will cut so deep, That this girl will fall into an eternal sleep. She doesn't remember how she started What brought her interest to this, How do you discover, that cutting is your form of bliss? No one would have guessed that she does it. No one would have considered this one. This girl is forever fighting a battle, that she thinks the demons have won. Her artwork is all over her, Her beauty is on her thighs, and if you look in her old trash, you'll find her letters of goodbye. Her masterpiece is quite disturbing, Her masterpiece is a little gory, Her artwork is her escape. Let me tell you her story. She compares herself to every person, She is compared to each girl. She thinks she's hideous, And there's this boy that is her world. She was bullied and picked on, She was teased from head to toe, Hard to believe that her best friend, was her one and only foe. Then later she disliked every little thing, Her body, face and even her mind, Soon she saw she was a failure, and it was just in due time... That this girl couldn't take it anymore She'd decided she was done living this, So one day she went home and decided to end it. Everyday for multiple days, This girl would try to drown, Hard to believe this girl at school, never ever wore a frown. Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying, Praying that she'd be enough, Because she didn't want to leave her family. She knew about their sweet love. This girl found hope in small things eventually, She soon would see this beautiful light, and find a REAL best friend, that helped her put up a fight. Her masterpiece soon was leaving, Her artwork was almost faded, and it gave her a sick feeling, the feeling of being jaded. She found a boy that actually loved her, And showed her love exists, And this boy too had a masterpiece, placed close to his wrists. He related to her and she related to him. She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone, When she cut herself it hurt him, Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own. Her masterpiece effected others, Her artwork wasn't just for herself, She now had people, who saw her cries for help. And then her family found out, So then they saw the art too, to them they were just scars, To her they were the truth. She's trying to be okay now, She thinks she might survive, Even though they didn't think to take away the knives.
Continue reading...
77
Who would have guessed — when I tilted my heart toward baby lizard, perched on a colored desert stone, she’d blink one eye at me, turn to smile, it seemed, and lend a listening ear? I’d only said in a lizard way “I love you”. Who would have thought — when that stone had heard me loving her, it would, it seem, speak back? Loving stone too, I was! Stone, I so admire your villages. I smile toward your many stone peoples. I eavesdrop on universal questions posed around sacred fires carefully tended. And around one hearth, among cinder specks scattered – one minute wisp, one grain of cinder there. Dare I say I love you too? For in that cinder grain I hear — worlds of stars, sweetly singing! By way of explanation, reader friend, such is what a practice of Loving All Beings Equally has made of me. A crazy being? Could be. But would you nonetheless accept the possibilities and likewise go love adventuring? If you’d prefer, we all could earnestly and objectivity talk it through. Or say ~ Love come! Come! Speak through us. We are listening.
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Oct 1, 2018
Oct 1, 2018 at 2:55 PM UTC
Equal Loving