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I don't know how to be anonymous
I have twisted dreams with you
a cape, a sword
and something red to stir your fear
weak and prolonged days
pass with open pores
like nostrils taking in
the taste of your dark shadow
the same trajectory
of a blind bullet aimed for a full moon
I only know how
to be
I only know
how to fight
I only know
how to fly
but I am am not just a flight through one night
I am a red stain
on everything you own in white
*passion changes everything
And (why?) thus, is all I know so far.

the *question
which is never easy to ask
has an *answer which
is never easy to swallow

between introduction and conclusion
lies a happy marriage
of one jolly void and one fuzzy wish list
via (this) credibility and (that) validity
of all the methods jammed in a
rainbow of paradigms and databases

a qualitative doubt
vs a quantitative solution
critiqued to death
is not always a one way topic
but the only way forward
(to prove!)

I can smile but
I am not allowed to fear
nor like,
nor hate,
nor presume,
nor love my finding
although I desperately cling to
a forbidden bias
(reference this!)

passion is a dangerous domain
(I googled it)
This poem was inspired by studying for my Research module as part of my MSc.
with spring juice running through my veins I jump red lights

wind rushes over my lips

I pass churches with empty altars

deserted parks

the white noises of the morning

a half  loaded gun in

a tired of waiting hand

the city is agitated like a dog tied

outside a corner shop

and I drive through its roads

with no name

filling my lungs with colours

I once saw in a love movie

smiling in my day dreams with you

crossing through fields of panic

through all the signs pointing

towards nothing

and everything
I cherish this river
this river of war and peace
bursting through the lungs of existance
this sweet endurance displayed
and hidden in the bloods of blood
oh, Hathor, tell me how to be
the mother the mistress the child
the root the thorn and the flower
in the fist of this God
giving what needs to be given
tempting the laws of the land
I try to stand tall and deal
ships sail back and forth
between heart and uncertainty
endless waves to defeat
every moment of each day
through piles of ashes and gushes of wind
I breath in the unknown and exhale tenderness
I cling to air and buckets of hope
when love storms into my panic room
to stir all my senses
and show me the way
without the moon the sky is an unknown co-ordinate
an xyz thrown between time and space
a telephone without tone
we use to talk to each other
in our free minutes
between our lives and our deaths

without the sun I am an anonymous verse
a genius with a badge and no shadow
a continuous coming and going
between two flickering points
on some old map of the universe
where everyone is
searching for their treasure

without you I have no noise
without noise I cannot sleep
without sleep I cannot dream
and without dreaming
without dreaming this poem does not exist
love <3
the moon
a snake of light coiled up
around a chimney
knows nothing of it
or how my skin could melt
on your fingertips while
you hum my name
I need a drink
so I sit on the edge
lean over the ocean
take a sip of you
your naked soul
watch you wash your car
your green T-shirt clinging
to my eye lashes
soaking wet
for a thousand years or so
the smell of salt and beauty
makes me hungry
so I jump from the highest cliff
into a drawer full of
love letters
lavender, lips & crickets
I swallow you inch by inch
season after season
you are now
inside me
in the dark danger is a lullaby
and you smile with your sit belt on
falling asleep
in my sleep
while the night
half of me
does not understand
the other half
of me
half of you hates
the other half of you
that wants nothing to do
with meandyou
all the little things in me
look for the big things in you
while the big things you do
have no password for
seeing things through
[or the way the wind blows through my curls]

if my half and your half
half asleep half awake
would cut the silence
in half words
under half a sky
if your luck and my fate
half dead half alive
would drink
in half a heart bit
half a cup of hope
would we stand
half a chance
to share [half&half]
a whole happy moment
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