So hard to come by
Unless you know where to look
Have you found that place?

Was it their fault?
Were they in the wrong?
She made her choice
Was it their responsibility?
She thought it through
Were they supposed to control that?

They did everything right
But some things are out of their control
Can they be responsible for everything?
She didn't follow in their footsteps
Instead

She turned away
She went against her upbringing
It saddened them
They tried to bring her back
Yet she would not return

'Where is justice?'
She would ask
But she'd never listen

Then she fell
Well,
She jumped
She tried to escape their loving hands
Forever
But failed
Thank goodness

It couldn't have been their fault
But they would have felt it
Nonetheless
They still feel it now
But they will
And so will she
I hope

Think about the people you hurt
Is it really worth it?
What is it about this world?
Why would you leave it?

This is my plea:
     Live
     Hope
     Love

Don't try again
Please

Can this be how I worship?
Not through song, but word?
Is it still worship?

We don't see unity
We are right
     They are wrong
We have truth
     They do not

We divide over the simplest of things
We are straight
     They are not
We are white
     They are not

We hate
We block
We hurt

Why must we betray each other?
Why?

This disease that plagues so many
It kills
With bridges
With pills
With knives
With guns
It seems there is no escape
It seems to affect any

But love
It breaks down walls
It saves so many
It heals
It gives hope
It stays
We could save so many
If we just love

You want me to take off my clothes
The clothes of my soul
You want me to turn around slowly
Standing bare in front of you
So you can get a good look at everything
You want me to show you everything
But I know what you'll really see
You'll see my
Scars
Bruises
Darkness
Things I've long locked away
Letting few if any see
But I have one question
When I am laid bare
Will you run away?
Will you see how many
Scars
I have and worry they'll cloud my view?
Will you see my
Bruises
And wonder if I'll give you any?
Will you see my
Darkness
And worry that it will spread?
Or would you look past all that
Search for my perfections
They are there
Just few and far between
And if you see my imperfections
(Which I know you will)
And my perfections
What will you decide?
Will you stay?
Or run?
As so many have

Waht hvae I dnoe?
Bad dseicon ralely.

I hear the flute
Its joyful melody.
I see my wife
Our daughter Melody.
I think of my wife
And her full of life
With our daughter, Melody.

I hear the crash
And then the tuba.
I hear naught else
It's just the tuba.
I think of the life
Who destroyed my wife
Our cursed daughter, Melody.

I hear trombones
It's getting better.
I see the day
It's getting brighter.
I think of the life
That destroyed my life
My blameless daughter, Melody.

I hear the horns
Their far-spread high-notes.
But mostly horns
And mostly low notes.
I think of my wife
And the love of her life
Our damning daughter, Melody.

I hear the trumpet
The different rhythm.
It has some movement
But mostly rhythm.
It's not the same
But it'll do
My beautiful daughter, Melody.

I hear clarinets
Their soaring melody.
Reminds me so much of
My daughter Melody.
Who came out of strife
To salvage my life
My angel daughter, Melody.

We are all naked on the inside
Where we can roam free
What about on the outside?
We can't be because of society
We are forced to put up a façade
We can't show our true naked selves
We would be ridiculed
Why is this?

You are the only one
No other gives life
I am just your pawn
You'll lead me through strife

May Your kingdom come
Through my desires
I want to succumb
You'll lead me through fires

I submit to You
My God, my only
Your word is so true
You'll lead me through folly

I know you won't go
Like so many do
You'll never let go
You'll lead me through You.

It's midnight-thirty
Cast party
This week was a lot
But it wasn't as bad as last year
Last year only went till ten-thirty
Sweaty ping-pong
Encore encore
Much loud
Many fun
Thanksgiving celebration tomorrow
Today I guess
Gotta wake up
It's fine
I don't need sleep
Do sheep sleep?
Probably
Counting sheep
To get to sleep
Ugh my brain
This rant is what happens to me at midnight
Let's see how it is tomorrow
This morning

This is how I process
My thoughts
My feelings
My ideas
My beliefs
My actions
My trauma
Everything
So if you find not what you seek
I'm sorry
It's just how I think

Poems
Often
Enunciate
My
Shortcomings

Heeding
Every
Little
Pleas­ure

We'll learn to love
We'll learn to trust
We'll learn to hope
We'll learn to pray
Maybe

I left You
I can't live now
Will You let me back?

Quesí saberte
Tú eres muy bonito
No cuido qué ellos te digan
Tú eres muy bonito

If we share
Yes
The more would have less
But
The less would have more

If we care
Yes
We might have less time for ourselves
But
People without will feel better

If we love
Yes
We might be spread more thin
But
Others would have more to spread

But

If we ****

All is void

This is how it started

I shook her up
She was ready to burst
When she was ready
I opened her up
And she exploded
Thoughts
Emotions
Interests
Secrets
It was all too much
So I dropped her

That is how it ended

I draw a banana on my leg
Every day
Just so that
Something is constant

I leave You
I cheat You
Then wonder why
You aren't there

Then I say
I didn't leave
I didn't cheat
How come, I ask
You aren't there

But I know now
I left You
I cheated You
I now know why
You aren't there

But now I say
I want You
I need You to
Keep coming back
When I leave
Because nothing thrives when
You aren't there

It doesn't hurt anyone
It doesn't hurt you
Don't be scared of it
Better it comes out now than later

From far away we look so
So perfect
Unblemished
Nothing ever comes between us

Until you see us at home
So petty
Our bickering
Anything could come between us

So perfect on the outside
Unblemished
Façades
That's how we survive

To God I pray for all her life
That she would stay inside this life
I know You'll come but don't know when
I pray refine her before then

That she may be in life past death
That You will bless her every breath
That You would bring her home once more
That You would give her life once more

Right now she's flat she has no hope
I pray You'll guide her from above
And
Keep her safe
Please

The grass withers
The flower fades
Will anyone stay?

Twenty-three and counting
They've all left
Will I be left alone?

It's not their fault
But they still left
Who will be next?

Yet I keep remembering them
Only their bodies will truly leave
Will I see them again?

I've left some too
It was so hard
Will they remember me?

I don't know what to do
She said she loves me
Do I?
I need help
I don't know
What are the signs?

He comes
     he follows
     i can't escape

Everywhere
     that's where he is
     all the time

Loosen my collar
     he asked for it
     he's going down

Perhaps not
     he got me first

We have bad poems too
We just don't publish them

All is round
The globe
The earth's orbit

It all repeats
Our history
The moon cyle

Yet it adds
Some reliability
It is predictable

Where is it?
The originality?
The free will?

If everything just
Cycles continuously
Where is change?

Is it possible?
Can change
Happen at all?

I'm blind without You
I need Your sight
Guide me

It's a blessing
I can do online school
Classes I can't take here
Classes I'm 'too young' to take
Helps me with college when there are no APs

Until it's a curse
When I can't do online school
Because the internet's bad
Things are late
Because they expect the internet to work

A tree,
A jacaranda tree, once tall, majestic,
Its purple blossoms littering the ground,
Its fern-like leaves bring shade to all around.

The rings,
We count the rings on the stump,
As the lumberjacks drive away,
Leaving stripped branches and leaves to decay.

Years will pass,
As leaves decay, years will pass,
But not all is lost, and as the life fades away,
Something new sprouts up, something here to stay.

Dead father,
It draws life from its long-dead father,
Using its nutrients, being fed,
Life, sprouting out of stump long thought dead.

A shoot,
A growing, flourishing, feeding shoot,
Only one thing that it could be,
A massive, flowering, majestic shading tree.

All this,
From a stump, a remnant of a tree,
Life, sprouting from stump thought dead,
Replacing something very old with something new instead.

i'm stuck in tHis loop
of trying to imprEss
why can't i Listen to my own advice
why can't i stoP

I don't know what to do about this 'sgg'
I blocked him
He blocked me
Always the same message
I have a question about...........
Like he meant to actually put a question
But thought it funnier if he didn't

I told Eliot York
Haven't gotten a response yet
Hope it'll work
I'm new
Is this thing common?
He's gotten others out there
It's not just me

I need help
With this thing
This is my 'yelp'
This is my plea
Eliot
If you see this
Do something

Spare me in my evil ways
Oh God
Forgive my trespasses
May I be Your obedient child
Blessed in the end

I yearn for Your mercy
Oh God
I pray for me and all
May I be never astray

Todas mariposas
Estuvieron oruguitas

Well
I guess
This is where
It all comes to a close
Will this ever happen again?
I think not. History won't repeat that quickly

My works feel
Sloppy
Untrained
Sub-par
Like I'm using my non-dominant hand

Newly birthed
Green
Like everything around it
As it matures
It wants to
Stick out
Yellow
But quickly realizes
Its brethren did much the same
All are
Yellow
Now
Saddened, it turns
Black
Moody
Then
Dies

A genius blend
Surely a work of art
My love will never end
I hope we never must part
Fifty-fifty
Almost perfect
Just a bit more tea
Then it's perfect

Why sharpen your knives
When you could sharpen your wit
For it truly is your greatest weapon
If trained right
For wit can build
Knives destroy

for sight
You created
the evening light
much anticipated
the dewy rose
a mountain view
inspiration rose
all from You
paintings painted
photos photographed
efforts wasted
on Your creation, autographed

for ears
You created
the calming of fears:
the raindrops, bated
the birds' cries
the wind in the trees
the buzz of flies
moving with ease
You inspired
so much more
but whatever transpired
You still kept the floor

for smell
You created
the spanish bluebell
a scent titrated
many more flowers
the ocean breeze
Yours more than ours
fill with ease
it all came from You
we make perfumes
and candles too
all fake fumes

for taste
You created
bee waste:
the honey instated
potatoes
blackberries
tomatoes
blueberries
even greens
You inspired other foods
all cuisines
that includes

all things
inspired by You
all of it brings
it back to You

Me besa
Quiero sentirte
Me ama
Quiero conocerte
Porque
No puedo vivir sin tú

Try it
You'll like it
It's great
You'll never regret it

The most important part of your smoothie
Without it it's just a purée
Just like the most important part of a poet
Without it they're just a human

It all feels so boring
Haven't learned anything
Being gifted is sometimes
As challenging as
Being challenged

Yet we don't get attention
We must suffer through school
Can't they do anything
To make school better
To challenge us

What if I forget how to learn
Then they're losing one more
Of the many minds
That could've made such a difference
If we had learned to learn

Think of what the world could be
If they challenged us
If we learned to learn at an early age
So when we were finally challenged
We would succeed

So many people go unnoticed
Just staying in the background
But they're important too

Sometimes you just need an outlet
Come here
You'll be safe here
We won't tell
We'll support you here
Don't worry

Like an avocado
It is cold and hard if rushed
But melts at a touch after too long
Yet it's so worth it
For if timed right it is
Soft
Comforting
As it should be