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2.1k · Nov 2015
A Generation Of Angsty F-U's
Shayla Ahrns Nov 2015
If it wasn't almost 2016, I would call you on your house phone from my corded phone in my kitchen, we'd chat quickly as to not rack up my phone bill, we would make dinner plans and call it good.

But it is almost 2016 and I'm actually looking at your Facebook and your girlfriends Instagram and I'm laughing / crying over the gag worthy photos she has you featured in.

If it wasn't almost 2016, I wouldn't even know you had a girlfriend and I wouldn't have tried to save the poor girl from your ***** lying ways.

But it is almost 2016, and when Snapchat helped me find out you had a girlfriend while still trying to **** me, I DID try to save the poor girl from your ***** lying ways. You told me not to say anything more, but I had to stop this because I know the feeling of a heartbreak like the one you were about to cause her.

If it wasn't almost 2016, I wouldn't have access to every social media platform that allows me to see every single detail of your life. I wouldn't be driving myself crazy with questions and no answers.

But it is almost 2016, and I get to watch your life unfold with someone else and wonder why I came in last, still no answers.

If it wasn't almost 2016, forget tinder and my quirky bio with the 6 best photos I've ever taken, you'd call me on my corded phone because you actually knew IRL how fun and quirky I am and you'd already have seen me in all my green eyed, beautiful brunette glory.

It is almost 2016 and that means I am just another girl that you aren't looking for something serious with because you're a boy in his early 20s craving freedom. Instead you send me ***** text messages because you're a boy in his early 20s and you met me on Tinder. I am a girl in my early 20s and when you met me on Tinder, you assumed I wanted less than a relationship and a little more than a "hey how are you?" convo.

If it wasn't almost 2016, you wouldn't have detailed all the ways you would make me feel good because would you ever really say those things to my ******* face?

But it is almost 2016, and you didn't say any of those things to my ******* face, you said it beneath the unsolicited picture of you naked in your bathroom mirror and you even added that ******* emoji with the sunglasses, like what you were doing to me was actually super cool.

If it wasn't almost 2016, I wouldn't have known that you were feeding lies to me on a silver platter, I would have gorged myself on your tasty sweet nothings.

But it is almost 2016, and I am starving myself of something worthy and filling because I can't stop reading the tasty sweet nothings you are feeding her.

It is almost 2016 and I wish I could have said ******* to your two timing face instead of via text message.

*******, again and again and again.
1.8k · Mar 2017
Dead Flowers
Shayla Ahrns Mar 2017
I left the flowers in the vase
To die and go away

The flowers have died
The flowers won't go
I left the flowers in the vase
That's where they were when you left
1.4k · Feb 2017
Shayla Ahrns Feb 2017
Life is not always big
We are all here
And drifting
Figuring it out
Loving and hurting
Leaving and healing
1.2k · Oct 2015
8 minutes
Shayla Ahrns Oct 2015
1:26 am
My eyes are burning
Can't sleep
Can't think
But you're still there
Back of my mind
All of the time
1:27 am
Floor to ceiling
I'm down here
You're up there
I can't take the stairs
That would be the hard way out
1:28 am
I could crush the place down  
Take the easy route
1:29 am
But how
Do I know what to say
When you've watered me
To the ground
1:30 am
And how the **** do I stay
When you're only
Begging me to blossom
1:31 am
I love you
For taking my heart
And planting it in your garden
1:32 am
I love you still
For letting me grow
1:33 am
But my eyes are burning still
Because what do we have to show?
914 · Oct 2015
Comfort Zones + You
Shayla Ahrns Oct 2015
Last night
In a dream
You said
"Would you like to get out of your comfort zone?"
And this morning
I woke up
From that dream
I thought
When should I tell him
He is my comfort zone
And I never want to leave

I spent the day wishing
To go back to sleep
To go back to that dream
Because last night
I woke
Before you told me
What you meant
By the outside of my comfort zone
And I am waiting
For my eyes to doze off
For you to tell me
Where my comfort zone isn't
So that I can say
In a sentence designed only for you
"You are my comfort zone."

And now it is the night after last
And my mind is painting
A warm safe place
The brushes are soft,
The blues are fading
Brighter tones are splashed across my tattered canvas
I was going to call my dreams museums
But I think I owe you more
Than hanging on the walls
And hours of operation
My dreams are not always
Cathedrals painted on ceilings
But you are always
My comfort zone
879 · Apr 2016
Shayla Ahrns Apr 2016
And I love you
And I love you
And I know that it's wild
And I know you don't always feel this too
But I see you and I see you
And I only see you
And I know you think I'm acting a fool
And I know you never said that
But I see you and I see you
And when I see you,
I see you later and I see you then
And it starts when I see you now
I see you later
And when I love you now
I love you later
Because even with the if's
And even with the and's
And even when your love is not now
And if your love is not later
I'll feel it even when you don't
And I'll love you
And I'll love you.
812 · Jul 2016
Shayla Ahrns Jul 2016
I could go to bed with him
But my heart would still be aching
And I could try to write words about him
But my heart would still be aching
Instead of you, I could choose him
But my aching heart
Aches for you
788 · Apr 2016
Shayla Ahrns Apr 2016
I imagine us
In places we have
Never seen
Surrounded by
Mountains and trees
And long lost love
That you waited to give me

But I'll take it
Because here we are
In a home
With black cups of coffee
And sunsets
In our soul

Our days are not over
Our days are not numbered
Our days are not measured
By a setting sun

I have love I need you to have
And to keep
And I want you to know
That this love climbs mountains
For you
772 · Dec 2015
Twenty two
Shayla Ahrns Dec 2015
We were young
Okay maybe not much younger
Than we are now
I am twenty two and you are too

This is us currently
Our commanilty
And I wonder,
If I was different

Would you love me like I love you?

But **** these questions
And **** your walls!

Remember me now
In love with you

And when we are older
And the lights are going down
Maybe you'll be my side

Or maybe you'll be saying
**** my walls
And **** all of these no's
And you'll be thinking
About twenty two
"I love you like you loved me
But it got so dark in here
And I wish we were 22, too."
735 · Jun 2016
For The Love Of God
Shayla Ahrns Jun 2016
As a little girl
I wondered about God and love
And if they were one in the same

But God took shape
In other ways
She was nothing I had been taught

God became me
I grew holier with age & each year
My grace was lessened by
Him or him
Or him
My God was becoming
A man who had no idea how to love me
I saw God inside his evil eyes
And I thought that God
Was not love at all
Love was not supposed to leave
But he left
And I faced myself
I found her, I found God
Inside my pretty eyes
And it was love.
727 · May 2016
Shayla Ahrns May 2016
Putting up walls
makes a house
a home

Until you find homes
inside people
and people
make homes
out of you...
709 · Sep 2016
Sugar, Salt, and the Sea
Shayla Ahrns Sep 2016
Sugar, salt, and all of the old pain
I put them in the bottles of wine you'd leave behind
You used to say that I made you feel like cinnamon and honey
My kisses soft as velvet
Fingertips like drip coffee brewing in your bones
I was the poet
But I found salvation in your words
You spoke freely and eloquently,
Like the way your mouth moved all the way down to the tips of my toes

My language is the sea and you took me closer
Where you could add salt to all of my wounds
And I thought, pick flowers and he will see the sweetness in you
But you never saw the sweetness in me
Even when you called me sugar
Even when I was the honey that made your cinnamon sweeter
You said I was like coffee, but that was before you made me bitter

I picked flowers by the sea today
Sea glass crackling beneath me
A remedy crackling inside me
Sugar and salt and the sea,
I made a boat out of your bottles
And let them take the pain away.
703 · Jan 2019
Shayla Ahrns Jan 2019
I keep grabbing at everything like they’re the stars
But it’s nothing magical, it’s all but a dark night
A lonely sky, a ******* hole
I don’t want to look at the light of everyone’s life and wonder
Why is my everything so dark

I want to soak up light,
Light from all the cracks I’ve tried to mend
With men who didn’t love me
And wine, so much wine
Salty tears that almost sting the wounds I’ve let stay open
The wounds that are long gone lives that stay alive inside me
I should have let them die, I could have
Instead of killing them, I let them live off my heart
Feeding off my broken love

I am not going to grab at a starless sky anymore
I am going to put every light I’ve ever needed up there
Like none of the men who didn’t love me or the wine that left stains ever could

But what is love if not loved
And how could I love
If I had never known what it felt like to be so much alone
Under the all back everything
I am the one who wants to be the light of my whole life
And I am the one who will love me through all the dark
695 · Dec 2016
Shayla Ahrns Dec 2016
Have you ever felt your identity shrink?
It comes and goes
Like a thief in the night

Withering away each time
Another one removes your shirt, your pants
"Shh don't stop"
It is you in this room

He is stripping you bare
He tells you you're good with your mouth
They all do
But they never listen to you speak
655 · Sep 2018
Shayla Ahrns Sep 2018
I have come to know myself best as one.

Just me, with no one to speak to, other than maybe the waiter who remembers my order.

I think about the things I remember about people. It isn’t always, or usually, their name.

But maybe that’s okay because in all ways possible, I remember who they are and that alone give names to them.

I think that’s why being accompanied by just me, no one to hold but me...I am at my best.

Because I am learning me.
I am naming myself.
I am riding this lesson all the way through.
601 · Apr 2016
The Valley
Shayla Ahrns Apr 2016
There is a valley in my heart,
It is golden
Yellow enough to feel like summer
But the grass is frosted
Masked in cold, in white...
Tipped in cold, in white...
It doesn't take much for the sun to set
But it takes work for it to rise
It takes tattered notes
Filled with hopes
And wishes on lucky pennies
Later, I fall with the sun
I close my eyes
Here I can feel echoes in the valley
The valley is two mountains
Side by side & empty inside
I think you once called us love
Without substance
Not like yellow, like empty spaces
And cold whites
The valley is not a thing but a
Hole in me
Making you whole.
547 · Aug 2018
What Love Did
Shayla Ahrns Aug 2018
I watched a documentary about monogamy last night. Then I laid in bed and drank wine and almost shouted “I love you” to a man. I said it in my head and in my heart and I let it whisper below my lungs, if that’s even how anatomy works.

Either way, I let love **** me up.

He was crying into sheets as I rubbed his hair and asked whatever God there is, if this love could last my whole entire life. But I think he was not crying over me. The room was hot and full of honest words that I wasn’t thrusting into him like my tongue in his mouth. When I fell asleep, I dreamt about all the ways I’ve found myself and lost myself in so many men. I dreamt about how I’ve let love **** me up, over and over again. And somehow I woke up laying naked with a loveless man on sheets that still had me all over them.
519 · Apr 2016
Shayla Ahrns Apr 2016
I stopped in my tracks
I stopped at your door
"Welcome," it said
Funny...I thought

Love is not welcome
When a door has closed
Or is it?

I could knock
I could ring
I could run
But all I did was
Look at what said
And wonder if you
Would say the same
504 · Jul 2015
Shayla Ahrns Jul 2015
You never loved me,
You even stopped laughing at my jokes.
I love you still, isn't that funny?
462 · May 2016
Shayla Ahrns May 2016
Things that make life soft and beautiful, things that make me soft and beautiful, things that steal away unkempt regret, things that tuck you in, things that make you love lightly; in yellow, things that bring up past hopes and gift them like a present; present hopes, things that shine, things that are disheveled in your madness, things that rub your aches away; warm fingertips, things that are blue: not you, things that curve, things that beat, things that love in sorrow, things that love in rejoice, things that make you soft, things that make you tough, things that make you beautiful, things that make you weak, things that move mountains or things that grow them; superfluously, things that make you, things that make you, all of the things that make you.
423 · May 2017
Shayla Ahrns May 2017
And if you ever don't know
How close we are
Look where the sky meets the sea...
Close your eyes
And there I'll be
423 · Jul 2015
All Fucking Aside
Shayla Ahrns Jul 2015
How is it that a stranger can hold me closer than someone I've known for a lifetime
(Or so it seems)
I’d like to know what it means
When I'm in that moment

When my skin is on his skin…

And I feel this safety surrounding me
I do not know him
I could not tell you the parts of him that make him whole

I could not tell you his favorite things that fill him up entirely
But I can tell you that in those moments of ecstasy together

I felt whole
And I felt safe
And I felt warm
So for his arms that held me,
Thank you 

And for his body that loved mine,
Thank you
399 · Nov 2015
It'll work itself out
Shayla Ahrns Nov 2015
I was in the middle of some move taught me
Something about right to the core
And my head was pounding
But I had to give a good one
Just one more, once more
How were you to know that once mores have always been my weakness?
With conversations and drinks
And minutes and moments with you
I stopped in the middle of my once more
Because I wanted to tell you about this
I needed to tell you that once mores don't mean anything anymore
Unless you're the one
The last one
My once
My more
396 · Jul 2015
What A Trip
Shayla Ahrns Jul 2015
I used to be content with my piece of the sun
Admittedly I have gotten selfish
I have gotten cold and my heart has started paling
And I would like you to know that
I would gladly move mountains to adore you
Because you have always felt worth the climb
Well maybe I have been worn weak
But I let you pick me up and show me the light
And I hope that this will keep me warm
Temporarily, it is always temporary
And although my hungry eyes have always craved more than dark nights
I ache for moments when we're on the road - taillights flickering in tune with the radio
Because that is when I think of verses that go something like...
"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night"
And I know that I have never feared this
In fact I have always found solace in leaving my heart in your passenger seat
So here I am, laid back, are we there yet?
379 · May 2016
My Own
Shayla Ahrns May 2016
You are a mountain
I am not
You climbed up
You made yourself a mountain
And you never needed me along the way
But here I am
Making my way
I started out, searching for you
Seeing a mountain
So big and so bold
So far in the distance
The closer I got
The smaller you became...
I wasn't getting any closer to you
I was getting bigger than you
I was just becoming my own mountain
378 · Jul 2015
07 / 27 / 2015
Shayla Ahrns Jul 2015
I want you to know that
Even though
Things didn't work out
Between the two of us,
I am okay
I always have been
And I always I will be
Because I do not need you to complete me.
371 · Nov 2015
A Poet
Shayla Ahrns Nov 2015
I wanted to tell you
In the most poetic way

But you know me,
You know I could never be
A poet out loud

Because when I write
I am sloppy
And when I speak
I am sloppier

My feelings require too much
To ever be a poet
With my mouth

And with fear in my heart
Shaking palms and
Weak knees and
Every dream of what we could be

I am no poet, in your presence
I am simply aware
Of you
Aware of your ocean eyes
And your laugh that echoes for miles

I am aware
That I could speak to you
In a way that I write
And it would not change
The motionless movements I feel
When you tell me
Your feelings for me
Are not equal
To mine for you

I am aware
That I will never be
A poet with my mouth
But with my love.
355 · Dec 2016
Shayla Ahrns Dec 2016
I swear you were all just a spark
In the flame I've been keeping
I swore to all of the holy things in my heart
That I would not let you burn me
I am brighter now
You cannot keep me in the dark
Dust to dust
Ashes to...
The flicker of me
Leaving you be
346 · Jul 2015
Grow Away
Shayla Ahrns Jul 2015
I've never liked the uncertainty of the spring
But these days keep taking me back
So accordingly - like a plan
Reminding me of the this's & the that's
(The used to be's)

I've had a list for years
Of the things I'd like to see, the people that would pick up all the broken pieces of me
And I find myself searching for you
Between the trees that keep telling me to blossom
Just blossom
They say it so loudly, over the sounds of me shouting
Don't rush me, please don't rush me

I keep thinking
If only there was a way I could tell them
That I've asked for so many things
The this's and the that's
All the fixings of my life

And then - so accordingly, like a plan  
I am reminded that it is not the uncertainty of the spring
It is the glass half empty in me

And somewhere in between my weathered walls and the sinking ships
I've started to blossom
With beauty and grace

And the trees are telling me, don't rush - please don't rush.
333 · May 2016
Small Things
Shayla Ahrns May 2016
Small things make me
They bring me closure
Small things close in on me...
They hold me tight
And keep me warm

Small things make me
They take my breath away
Small things have less doors,
Less room for baggage and pain

Small things are hometowns
With no room to grown
Small things bring you suitcases full
Of old love and whiskey and bad love
That you start to miss
Small things are all of the things
You want to take back, relive, redo,
Small things are too small for you
And all that you deserve
Small things are small because
You are an incredibly big thing
332 · Jun 2016
The Epilogue
Shayla Ahrns Jun 2016
If you took dirt and leaves
River water, old dust on books,
Tears, bold coffee, mossy green,
Yellow love,
And all of the questions
On life and love and maybe even God and pain and whatever makes you
wonder why you end up in a bed alone with him
Or why he ended up here with you;
Fear, aches, wasted time,
Lavender, dusk, another one...another
Shake all of this up with sunsets, hope, failure, cravings, light, a list of things you never put your faith into...
It makes you into this person who has done wrong and loved gentle and loved hard...
Became soft, rooted herself
Became fire from water
Shouted thank you's to loneliness and cheersed a sky raining down
Stood tall and held her own
328 · Feb 2017
Shayla Ahrns Feb 2017
I love you
I love you
I love you

I am sinking into you
Like the moon setting
Sweet dreams

You say with your hands on me
We are drifting into one another
All is warm and right on this night
All is warm and right
And I am loving you

Sunrise comes
You are sinking into me
Like the earth spinning
We are dancing under morning light
And I am loving you
I am loving you
318 · Nov 2017
Shayla Ahrns Nov 2017
You said I have strawberry skin
And I have an appetite
For finding hungry people
That's why you bite
Right from the center of me

You consumed me
Like my eyes didn't weep
When you split me in two
This was a sweet nothing
Just for you
303 · Oct 2017
August & Everything After
Shayla Ahrns Oct 2017
August burned slow
The sun clung to every branch, every petal
To every moment left in this old life
I couldn't hold on to each ray
Each moment, each day

None of the moments I stood in would stay
They lived in a leaving town
And all the little homes had locked up their doors

These moments were fleeting
And held grace in their hands
They tried to make her mine
But she had places to be that weren't me

The sun started setting
And the sky peeled back my pieces
Like the skin of something sweet  
Broken memories
Falling like ash around my feet

August had burned up
And so did everything after
291 · Apr 2018
Strangers & Stars
Shayla Ahrns Apr 2018
I was always captivated by the stranger beside me,
More so than the blue skies I ached for
Because no matter how much sangria I swallowed, sitting across the table from you
The blue of love felt like butterflies doing the breast stroke inside of me
You turned me into an animal, excited and hungry, you turned me into The Wounded Deer by Frida Kahlo
You were my world and I was shot through the heart, but my heart is so big, like Texas
Maybe I should turn on the moon and you could help me see through this darkness...
You said there is only one way in and one way out and the road is blocked
Brick by brick by brick,
Your walls have come into fruition
And despite every effort to erase the anguish painted inside of my bones,
Alas I could not but try each day
To be a vision of strength,
A strength illuminated only by the dim light of the moon, a blue moon,
Resting in a sky so big
That even the brightest stars are strangers
281 · Aug 2018
Golden Rule
Shayla Ahrns Aug 2018
I think about the way I love and how I put my love into you. I stared right into you - you were looking past me, into some great beyond.
I was building a home in you, while you stood with your back to me as you made us eggs and coffee. You kept your hand on my thigh as you quietly stirred cream into your porcelain mug, leaving me the thick and murky leftovers from your French press. Look but don’t touch, I wonder if you’d been told that as a child because you only looked me in the eyes if I was flat beneath the weight of you...feeling your touch all over me.

I think I forgot to mention that I’ve got a good spine because I forgot I even had one when I was with you. I still think about how it would feel with you here, in all my seasons. My curious hands would still hold onto you and I’d still find a reason to build something bigger, no matter how much better things could be. You could have found me at the edge of the water, wishing on skipping rocks like we did in February. But you didn’t look back when you packed up and left before the leaves turned gold.
280 · May 2017
Small Rooms
Shayla Ahrns May 2017
If you're in a small crowded room
Full of nameless faces
Looking for praise
You won't find some kind of God
Shouting your name

Cross your heart
Close your eyes
Everything you wish
Never really dies

Don't fear loss
Don't fear love  
Behind closed doors you used to be
Now you're blooming wild and free
Looking for weeds
And watering them too

You're in a small crowded room
No one shouting your name
Leave fingerprints on the window
So that when your heart beats fast
You'll see flowers at last
275 · Oct 2017
Church Bell
Shayla Ahrns Oct 2017
I have been here before
And the loneliness rings like a church bell
All of the voices tell me to seek light
As if my prayers will fix the cracks
Cracks in my heart and cracks in my bones

But I don't know any god
I have only ever known myself
And prayers fixed nothing
And prayers did not heal me

The healing was mixed inside of change
That painted over the walls I used to build
So that when I let them crumble to my feet
I would not be standing over nothing

I am in the midst of colors that look like you
And colors that look like me
And there are swirls of words
That I thought some type of god might see

I am ringing the church bell
And the lights are on me
And I will never forget
That my loneliness
Became healing
269 · May 2017
Shayla Ahrns May 2017
I got lost somewhere
In the thought of you
And I
And time
And healing...
I wished for the days to move
I wanted them to run away fast
I craved you
My thoughts burned holes in my heart
It became the only thing,
It was all I knew
I let love fall through every little break in the seams,
In the empty spots designed for you...
I wish I could have gone back
To where you left me in the dust
In the places where I could leave footprints,
In the lost days where I moved too fast
I wish I could fill the holes you left,
Sew the seams shut
262 · Oct 2017
Skin & Bones
Shayla Ahrns Oct 2017
If I go to the only place
Our love ever existed
I would be casting shadows
Across your skin
Finding freckles with my fingertips

You'd breathe the only breath you had left
You'd shake the dust off your bones,
Button up, turn your lights off
And my shadows would fade

Like the freckles
You would no longer let me connect
There would be no love left to make
There would be no more love left inside of you

You are skin and bones
And I am trying to keep you alive
But you only exist without me
247 · Dec 2016
Oh My Own
Shayla Ahrns Dec 2016
In my alone I have created everything I am
I have turned myself into my own god
A god
With lines in her thighs
And bags under her eyes
Tangled hair like the webs she weaved

I am my own god
With a fire in my soul
A fire in my soul
And in my alone I have not forgotten
Who I am
Who I was
Who I became

Beause what has burned in me
Is dancing like embers
I am my own
Oh my god
I am my own
241 · Nov 2016
Flowers Die
Shayla Ahrns Nov 2016
Do you ever wish you could be a flower?
Something that people only see beauty in
I think if I could choose
I would remain as I am
A flawed and imperfect example
That this world can be cruel
And we still survive...

Even the flowers die
237 · Feb 2017
Shayla Ahrns Feb 2017
Waves - what were they like when you were with him?

Sunrises - did you love them?

Sunsets - did you prefer them?

Arms - who kept you warm in theirs?

Earth - where did you want to be?

Life - how full does love make it?

Time - where are you now?
234 · Nov 2018
For Leia
Shayla Ahrns Nov 2018
I have dreamt all my life that I would create a space full of love and light
And sometimes I feel only the darkness of it all
Like maybe this is where it all ends and begins
Begins and ends

I wake from that thought
I wake from the moment
In between dreams
The moment that taught me
Love is fleeting
In all forms, love is fleeting
No matter how soft and lovely,
Darkness lingers in the distance
No matter how soft and lovely
We can fall into the dark

But in the dark I have grown
And no matter how much they tell me that darkness lingers
I will let not let darkness win
Because I have this beautiful heart
That created this beautiful life
Full of love and light
234 · Oct 2017
The Mouse & the Men
Shayla Ahrns Oct 2017
Every day I saw the same dead mouse laying on the pavement. There was nothing near to keep the sleeping creature company. It was alone and weathered by the weather.

For months, I let him lay beside me and **** the life out of me, like I was the only thing that could make him  breathe. My skin turned cold and there was nothing left to keep him warm. I didn’t want to die there.

I woke up one morning to see the mouse was gone. Maybe it was eaten by another creature or maybe somehow its little body found its final peace in the woods - where it could become rooted up underneath the trees and the moss.

I found a new resting place, somewhere near to you. And I could taste the blood on your lips when you pressed into me. My skin was warm again, like I was laying beneath the whole earth.
I thought this must have been how the  mouse felt when it found a way to leave it’s once unloved body behind.
210 · Dec 2017
Shayla Ahrns Dec 2017
The smoke cleared
And I was the same
Shade of blue as the sky

My heart was falling ash
That took shape
In the form of you

Because even when you tried
To burn down all that was left
I was still on fire
208 · Feb 2017
Shayla Ahrns Feb 2017
I'd like you to learn me
Learn me,
Like my eyes are ten and two
Learn me,
Like my hands are the compass pointing home
Learn my heart,
Like love is all we have
196 · Mar 2017
Shayla Ahrns Mar 2017
If I could hang from the moon  
I'd swing through every constellation
Like the ropes we cling onto tightly in the middle of summer

We soak in the icy river water
While the sun freckles stars across our skin
And I want to tell you...

Dip your fingers into the sky
This whole world is yours

I am face up
Warm air floating all over me
Waiting for the earth to dim
So I can see your sparks
In the flame we've been burning

"Over there," you say pointing to the west
Cool air sinking in around us
I don't see a sky
It's the moon, it's in your eyes
165 · Nov 2017
Shayla Ahrns Nov 2017
When you took me to the sea
I melted into you, like wax
All the waves dried up
And the mountains started moving

I think you thought you were
Some type of God
And I think I thought the same
Because even when the seasons changed
You never went away
At least not inside of my heart,
Which is where they tell you God stays

I prayed to whatever I was worshipping
That you’d live in me
Just one more day
Because letting you make a home
In every tiny corner
Felt better than saying
I needed you to go
156 · Jun 2018
Shayla Ahrns Jun 2018
It goes back and forth
Like tides
I’m low, I’m high
You could drown in me
You could wade in me

I’ve been waiting for you, drowning
In the old love, in the new love
Soaking up the hope
Hoping that this will all pass
Like you did, quickly
In my life, out of my life
Fading so fast, sinking

Timestamp my heart, I said
I never want to forget any of this
Shake me up like a Polaroid
So I can look back tomorrow
And forever after

And know that I never sank into you
I never let the hurt
Swallow me whole
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