I want to run
I want to hide
I want to disappear
I can't do this again
I can't deal with this kind of torture anymore
So I wish I could leave
Or that I could stop existing
Or that I could stop being dependent on you so that I don't have to deal with this again.
I just want it all to stop!
Just stop
*Please

When I was younger, my mom always told me these fairytales
Even if she hadn't, I would've still known them
the basic plot of almost every fairytale is this
Miserable young girl, maybe already princess, maybe hidden princess
whatever
Prince charming comes and whisks her away to a better life
somehow he always finds the princess, as if he knew who it was all along
She was in distress, he saved her, happily ever after
but what happens if you wait too long for the prince and nothing ever gets solved. What if you're stuck right where you are, with nothing changing unless you change it yourself.
What if Prince Charming comes, see how messed up everything is and doesn't know how to fix it.
What if Prince is a *******.
Then what?
Your left there ******* with the ******* "Prince Charming", who doesn't know all you've been through or how to even help besides taking you away to the big stupid castle.  I'd rather take the time and effort to save myself than fight those odds. I'd rather get my crap together and do the rescuing myself thank you very much. Does that mean I won't end up with a happy ending? NO!
I refuse to believe that if I don't play little miss pathetic that I won't be happy! I refuse! That isn't how the world was made
that's why the world isn't a ******* fairytale
so I refuse to be saved.
If some ******* ******* prince thinks he can save me
he's in for a surprise.
I don't need to be saved.

I always end up here
don't I
Hating myself
wanting to rip my skin apart
just to feel again
I'm numb, I'm cold, I'm alone
but there isn't anything I can do
right?
Let me be sane again
Let me stop hating myself
but the voices don't allow it, do they.
They scream, and shout, and pound
leaving me with headaches
that never go away

When days get longer and nights get shorter
that is where my heart lies
When the heat of the beating sun makes my skin glisten
that is where you'll find me, being as open and free as one can be
When life gets less stressful and sleep becomes more peaceful
that is where you'll find my smile as big as that of a child
Those are the days of summer
Those are the days I don't weep
Those are the days I want to last forever
Those are the days I can eat, sleep, laugh and just be

People often say to leave the ones who hurt you in the past
but what do you do when you can't
when the person who hurts you
is you

I'm here, in a corner
no one is here
I'm being attacked, by monsters
there is no one to talk to
I need help
I can't feel
no one is here
No one can help
you complain, saying how in all my poems I sound alone
well that is because I am
where are you?
not here
where do I need you
here.
When I need you, your not here
when you need me, i'm there
with you
so you know what, complain all you want
because in reality, I am alone

I'm alive, but I don't live
I breathe, I sit, I think
but I don't do anything
I don't feel anything
am I truly alive?
I don't feel like I am
I don't feel
all I can do is lay here
staring at my ceiling
writing
I want to feel something
what do I do?
I want to feel something
but I don't have blades
what do I do?
I want to feel something
I won't do anything
I'll stare at the wall
I won't exist for a while
I guess thats fine
I'm not real

stars, they seem like they'd be so close to each other
they shine bright, and true and form patterns in the sky
but that's only how they seem from here
in reality, they are far apart
they lived thousands upon thousands of years ago
they burn and lived, but died
they're light are only just hitting us now
seems like that's how we are
we seem like we are close, like we shine and fit together perfectly
but that's how we seem to others
in reality, we are far from each other
we are alive now, but  we don't live
we burn, but not brightly, we burn with hate
we burn everything that matters to us
including each other

Fireworks, explosive sparkles of color filling the night sky
a way to show celebration, of any kind
Fireworks with the beautiful colors and shapes that
BOOM into the night
and all I can think about is you.
How I wish you were here, with me
now.

Life continues even after you take your last breath
Love continues to grow even after you left
The sun continues to keep us warm
Rainbows still come after a storm
but I am no longer whole

fire, blankets, your arms
they all bring warmth
to my cold self
fire too hot to touch
blankets wrap me up, comfy, cozy
your arms, home

"Love is a much more vicious motivator"
ain't that the truth
love makes us want to do whatever we can
love can drive people mad
love can set you free, but at what cost?