pink and white petals
surrender to the wind;
a shower of spring
their perfume surrounds us.

they fall like snowflakes,
clutching her wispy tendrils.
hands outstretched, she giggles;
a new sight for her wide blue eyes.

*She wears them like a crown
My princess with flowers in her hair

Mountains covered in fallen clouds;
evergreens passing in blurs.
Black tar roads dotted in white;
the weary chatter of haggard passengers.
Windshield wipers; swish, swoosh,
pushing the rain away.
Passing signs call out for our attention,
begging for us to stop and visit.
The hum of the engine,
the stuffy dry air;
as we drive in a state of beauty.
Watching a world pass through the tinted windows.
But we are just passing through,
enjoying the view along the way.

A beautiful skyline on the journey home

It started with a jacket
left unattended.
I grabbed it as a friend
no intentions.
Wore it the next the day,
it engulfed my shorter frame.
We laughed, a platonic encounter
then I forgot to give it back.

It started conversations,
we discovered who we were
beneath our social façades.
That's when I fell
for you
and somewhere, you fell
for me.

A borrowed moment
A lasting affection.

blinding lights,
constant beeping,
spiked green lines,
a ***** in my arm.
faces fill the room
tears and hope
mixed on each.
a man in a white coat
calls for their attention,
his mouth moves
but it's all jibberish;
something about an accident.
then there is a shift,
the mood has changed.
all eyes are on me
expectant looks
then fallen faces
when I speak.

*Who are you?

Blurry faces
all giving advice,
everyone with something to say:
Have fun.
Be safe.
Make friends.
Do something great.

As the exodus draws closer
Mom grows nostalgic,
Dad becomes overbearing.
Both wanting what's best for
her little girl
his little princess
going off into the world.

Eventually the car is loaded.
The engine starts with a rumble.
A beginning starting at the end
that is still seen in the rearview.
Everyone waving,
shouting their love,
one last

          *Goodbye.

crumpled among the change
brushing against lint
surrounded by hollow wrappers
and peppermint swirls
Forgotten
deep in my pocket

our happiness captured
so much has changed

one was older,
one was younger,
two years difference both ways.
the older one only cared for a short time
until his interests shifted,
for someone older?
maybe more mature?
now two years later
the younger one sees me as a friend;
side hugs and platonic conversations.
but I fell for both anyways.
I fell so hard
the impact stole my breath
and being near them gave me butterflies.
I don't know why my heart always stops
for those I cannot have.
I hate that they can't be mine,
but I still hopelessly love them.

it does work out sometimes,
now the older one is like a brother
but he still sometimes makes my heart flutter.
however, the younger one holds my heart;
clueless of my feelings.

cause, yes, though the heart wants what it wants,
it rarely gets what it loves.

The stage is set
The lights are ready
The cues are in place
Everything is as it should be
It's the big event
And things look perfect
But only on center stage
In the left wing someone is broken
In the right wing people are angry
And behind the scenes everything is falling apart
People cry and people blame
Angry glares and cruel, harsh words
It's dark and bitter and so hallow
But it's all behind the scenes
All the things the public never sees
Because it's the big event
So when you're on stage
It's stiff, polite masks for everyone
Because perfection is expected
But it cannot be achieved
So we choose to be fake instead
All for the big event
All for the center stage
We do as we are told
And shove our emotions down
Because this is center stage
Where mistakes are not an option
So fake, tight smiles are arranged on our faces
But just till you get backstage
There it all falls away
This is the big event
This is life

Blue lips
Cold hands
Frozen breaths
Wind bitten cheeks
Winter is coming
Winter is here
And they said we have nothing to fear
Yet here we are
Half frozen
And no one listens
To hear our desperate calls
No one answers our hollow yells
It's all blown away when the wind swells
And all that's left is our frozen statues
Our lifeless shells
All because the world didn't help
They didn't try to save us
Just because it was "too cold out"

hello
hi
what's up
the sky
there's no way for me
to be normal around you
whatever you say
whatever you do
I go from straight A's
to not being able to form a sentence
I can't do anything
all because of you

When we were young
Our frozen breath was smoke
From cigarettes

When we were young
Our hands were guns
As we'd to shoot each other to the ground

When we were young
Our lead and our pencil
Were a syringe we pressed against our flesh

When we were young
We didn't have to worry about the cost
Because to us it was all pretend

But now we aren't so young
And the things we do are no longer pretend
So now there are costs we can't escape

Do you think about me often
Or just once a week
Am I always on your mind
Or only when you're with me

I wish I knew your thoughts
About me and the things I do
If you think of me with care
Or without any thought

You, however, cross my mind constantly
Making me think
When I should be asleep
But for some reason my mind won't let me be

You're not a foe, instead a friend
But you're nothing more
Even though my heart thinks you are
My brain just says no

So this is why I ponder late at night
About if I am ever on your mind
Because if I knew what you thought
It would decide my heart and mind debate

Cinder block walls
And cold tile floors
White ceiling tiles
And small windows on doors
The lights are too bright
And sometimes they flicker
The desks, they rock and sag
And are covered with doodles
Of both good and bad
But the irony of it all
Is that this is where we learn
Where our minds are supposed to grow
The place that is so defining
Is really just confining
They put us in this box
And contain us with white walls
They say that knowledge is to empower us
But the system just overpowers us
So they wonder why we want to escape
And question us when we fail
They blame it on us
Saying we just aren't smart enough
Saying that the system could never be flawed
And they are right in a way
Because the system isn't flawed
But instead it's the system itself that's the flaw
It compressed the minds that could cure cancer
It forces the next Picasso to color inside the lines
And the next great writer is told not to imagine
The great flaw is not in us and our minds
That's only a minor part
But instead the flaw is in the system that is controlling our young minds

It all started with borrowed shoes
They were left unattended
So I grabbed them as a friend
And with no intentions
I wore them the next day
We laughed like it was all fun and games
Then I forgot to return them

It all started with borrowed shoes
That I eventually did give back
But I guess that's when I fell for you
The way you laughed and played along
Then somewhere along the way
You began to fall for me
And to think all it took was borrowed shoes

We define it as "just friends"
But I know for you
You want to be more than that
You want there to be an "us"

I know you are a great guy
I've known you forever
And you are my best friend
You know I love you...but as a friend?

I don't know how I feel
Or what type of love I have for you
The only thing I know is...

Something in my heart stirs
Whenever you come in the room
Something in my stomach flutters
Whenever you smile at me

But is that stirring butterflies or bees
But is that fluttering love or a warning

The world is an amazing place
All this beauty waiting to be found
From the sunrises to the sunsets at dusk
Why would we try to keep these beauties down

We were created to be beautiful
Why would we try to avoid our purpose
When beauty is our duty to fulfill
Seeing the beauty that leaves us breathless

The world wants us to stay inside the lines
Go the easy way and don't ever try
But life is more exciting when you shine
Because you have to jump before you fly

So why hide behind the ordinary
When we were made for the extraordinary

I'm the one who ended things
I said "we're done."
Crying in a parking lot
I ended us.

Yet when I see you now
I still get flustered
And I don't know why
But I feel the need to impress you

To catch your eye
To remind you what you left behind.
To maybe try and get you back?
Because I miss you?

But the fact remains
I. Left. You.
I shouldn't want you back.
Right?

You never did anything wrong
It was just me.
I just wasn't ready
But maybe I am now?

But either way
I still want you to look
Make you think "what if."
And perhaps that will never change

The day plays over in my head
The conversations I had
The ones I didnt
The people I saw
Those I ignored
What I did
And what I could have done
These are the midnight thoughts
That plague my restless mind
Robbing me of my sleep
And making me second guess everything
There is no peace in midnight thoughts
Only hope that tomorrow I will do better
So that when I face tomorrow's midnight thoughts
I will be plagued less than I was tonight

I thought I was alone
That no one understood
That I was different
It made me feel special
But mostly ashamed

I thought I was the only one
Who sat in her room alone
That wrote what she couldn't understand
That just sat on her bed and listened to music

I felt like no one would would understand
That it was weird
That people would think I was too strange
Too different
Thought too deep
Or had too many emotions

But then a group of us
All sat in a circle
And we just spoke the truth about ourselves
And then none of us were alone

They loved to write
They spent time alone
Music set them free too
I thought I was all alone
But then I found all of you

A foggy day in London
Was the day that they would meet
They'd find themselves together
And love would plants its seed

As fate would have it
They would meet on a train
Though normally they walked
That day it would rain

He would sit down first
Then she would take the next seat
They would share a polite smile
Then their eyes would meet

They would fall in love right there
And their story would start
Their lives would be changed
They would never wish to part

But the stars were crossed
And they would never meet
Because she took a taxi
When he got on the train at Main Street

For every smile
There are fears
For every "I'm okay"
She hides a thousand tears

On the outside she's fine
But the whole thing is a lie
Inside she's broken
She's beaten and hoping
No one sees past her cover story

Her breaking point gets closer
With every smile she fakes
Everyday of charades
But even though she's worn thin
She still holds it in

No one sees her reality
No one sees past her cover story