When I met you I was thrilled,
I couldn’t believe that you were real.
I tried my best to get to know you,
And I thought that we fell in love,
It’s such a shame that I was the only one.
I was always there for you,
But you didn’t see,
Everyone was telling me to let go,
But I wanted us to be.
I wish I could go back in time and fix everything that was wrong,
But I can’t do that if I’m dead and gone.
The girl that used to love you has withered in vain,
She vanished from this world,
She couldn’t live in pain.
Now, I’m a shell of a person I used to be.
You are just another stranger to me.

When I asked you what your favorite color was,
It wasn’t randomly.
I wanted to know so I could paint the whole world with it.
Cold blue, you answered.
I thought of the sky, the stars,
I thought of the sea and the smell of the wild.
I thought of the first snow and honest laughter,
I thought of high mountains and fresh air,
I thought of life and everything we have to bear.
I thought of your smile,
I thought of you.
You’re the only thing that mattered,
And you still do.
Even though this unrequited love has been crushing my lungs,
I’m still hugging it fiercely like a mad person.
You still linger in this foolish heart of mine.
And every time I look above,
At this blue sky,
You’re the only thing that comes to mind.
So I smile.
And that’s how the cold blue has become the warmest color I’ve ever known.

Why is it that I can’t fight this emptiness echoing through me?
I’ve lasted this long,
Sometimes I dream,
What is it like to be free?

To breathe without drowning?
To love without falling apart?
To walk with hopping?
To have a whole heart?

With chains of pain around me,
I spend my days in limbo,
Between death and living,
I’m still trying to let go.

Every person I meet,
Tells the same story
Of how they weep,
And how they sprung to glory.

They always talk too much,
But never listen,
That’s why they’ll never know,
Why my eyes glisten.

I’ve strained from my path
A long time ago,
If only I could break free
From this filthy world.
My soul is searching
For a glimpse of light,
In this dark night
If only stars would shine bright.
I wish to sail far away
To a peaceful place,
Where my mind won’t rage,
I’m sick of being in this cage.
I’m tired of plastered smiles,
And white lies,
I’m tired of fake love,
And dark skies.
Of expectations,
And regrets,
Of weeping,
And sweats.
I just want to fly free,
With no worries,
Finally leaving behind,
All of my furies.

I am standing here alone.
The rain consisting of my mere thoughts is drawing small ripples on the edges of deep, with love crafted cracks.
Flesh and blood is what I am,
Nothing more,
Nothing less,
And perhaps enough.
What used to be is not anymore,
And what is it now I’m not sure.
i can smell the fire becoming weaker,
Or maybe I am fooled by its smoke,
A wonderful disguise.
I hope we will meet again one day,
Fire and I,
And fill the cracks anew.
Peaceful dream.
Now, delicately,
I place flowers on the remains which I used to call home.

I’m a floating balloon full of depression and crippling thoughts,
My spirit is completely tied in knots.
I’m not sad,
nor happy,
I’m just an echo of a person I used to be.
When one loses faith,
it is left to live in wraith.
It’s truly a thin line between madness and sanity.
Your words were always kind, yet you left me behind.
You’re just a black hole indeed,
I have to concede.
This burden I must bear,
I know it was a serious dare.
Your name rips me open each day,
I can’t seem to act this play.
After all your swings,
I got to learn a few things.
It’s not the heartbreak that kills you,
the void that comes after it does.

Wandering through reality and dreams,
Searching for something to mind unknown.
Lost between happiness and sadness,
The heart craves to beat again.
Scattered on the floor,
My soul is lying dry,
Wetness from tears swiped away long ago.
So I wonder...
Where can I go?
I have been lost for so long only to find myself in ashes at the end of the journey.

Love is a funny game,
And I am just a little insane,
Always losing,
But I play it anyway,
I’ts such a shame.

This poem is for you.
Yes you, who helped me get through so much,
It’s all the little things you do,
That made me believe in miracles and such.
I am a broken mirror,
Yet you still glanced at me,
And saw yourself clearer,
Setting us both free.
You are my anchor,
Even when I’m at my worst you convince me that I’m the best,
We’re fighting together this war,
Shielding each other’s chest.
I’ve never felt empathy,
Nor was I ever understood,
But you seem to chase away my apathy,
With you everything seems good.
Thank you my dearest friend,
For I treasure you beyond this life,
There’s only this love I have that will never end,
With you, I cannot be killed by any knife.

Despair it is to lose all hope,
Yet to still believe,
That your heart and mind can cope,
That freedom you shall receive.

The broken image in the mirror will become anew,
With no cracks to feel,
Darkness withdrew,
Leaving only what’s real.

Shadows cast upon your heart,
Will be a sweet memory,
Such a work of art,
That little tender thing will be.

Your skin innocent and soft,
Shall be your favorite shield,
Your soul going aloft,
To a sacred field.

Feel that blood,
Rushing through your veins,
it makes a flood,
Amongst those beautiful remains.

A broken dream this has always been,
For human life is cruel,
This false hope has become a sin,
Indeed, I must be a fool.

Ideal am I for looking at,
The price of me is love,
Foolish is that,
Thinking you would pay such cost for a little dove.
Deceived into it,
I gave my heart,
At the end it split,
Tearing everything apart.
You played with me,
Such a wonderful play,
I thought I would be loved and free,
You threw me away.
Broken I am anew,
Feeling only grief,
You can never sew,
A doll with no belief.

They haunt me,
The corridors of our school,
Yellow like sun,
But in me, darkness is all that they drew.
There, I met you,
There, I fell for you,
There, you made me cry,
There, I was torn apart inside.
I remember your voice,
Echoing through the air,
And your eyes staring into mine,
My soul they never spared.
I burned with love for you,
But you didn’t care,
That yellow corridor,
You just left me there.
I can barely walk through them,
With every step I take,
My stitches are coming undone,
I just wish to leave,
That burden I can no longer carry.

Emotions make you weak,
That’s all everyone has ever taught me.
I’m like a broken clock,
Standing in one place for what seems like forever,
Deep inside I still crave love and affection,
Although cruelty is all I’ve ever known.
Some days are bright,
And some are colored in darkest shades of night.
Emptiness is echoing through me,
The mirror is my worst enemy,
Reality in it I can clearly see.

To my heart you once held the key,
Trusted you I wholly did,
But you left me in tears and only with my plea,
This tragedy should be hid.

Love is a simple little thing,
We made a game out of it,
Who will be the first to sing,
Their tragic split.

Shotgun aimed at hearts,
Mine was the one to be hit,
The bullet broke it in million parts,
Leaving me with just one bit.

I didn’t smell the gunpowder,
Nor did I notice the scent of fresh burning blood,
I just screamed louder,
Hoping to be heard in that mud.

My mind went blank,
Analyzing this wound,
To it I should thank,
For now to love I am bound.

The scars on my skin,
They were all made by me.
They serve as a reminder of my storms
And the feelings I was trying to set free.

Look me in the eyes,
They are clouded.
Will you be able to see past the disguise?
Will you ever break the walls by which I’m surrounded?

Plastered smile and hysterical laugh,
Hide every single crack,
And keep the fury from emerging,
In me, a war is raging.

So don’t tell me how lovely I am,
It is merely a mask,
When you look deep within,
Then, your questions you may ask.

Clumsy mistakes and words fake,
Those were the fragments of your world.
The earth underneath my legs shakes,
My whole body twirls,
From the unbearable ache.

You spoke of honesty and liberty,
Yet you chained my soul and fed it with lies,
In this captivity,
All I see are your cold eyes.

You’re no man,
But a cruel monster,
I tried to run,
Your grip I couldn’t conquer.

You may be strong,
But my will won’t be killed,
Your tongue, serpent long,
Will never be that skilled.

I’ve met a bird with no wings last night,
It sat on my porch and sang,
Leaving no space for fright.

I watched it grasping the sharp air,
Speaking of a troubled heart,
How much everything might not be fair.

Cold breeze strangled its dream,
as the moonlight fell on me reflecting nothing but thee,
It made my heart violently scream.

Not a single letter can bare your name,
Nor can any poem sing this pain,
Nothing can put down that flame.

I loved you silently and truthfully,
Perhaps not enough,
So I will leave it to another to do it fully,
Shame on heavens for being so rough.

In roses I’ve never bathed,
Sadly my cheek and tears met,
For you I waited,
Just to welcome my own silhouette.

Oh how I long for that starry night,
When my wings grow,
And I finally take a flight,
Letting my heart flow.

A rose’s right is to bloom,
Letting her petals show,
Forgetting my doom,
Up, far away I go.

Among the stars,
To them I must swear,
That I will caress my scars,
Till the end, that’s only fair.

My thorns shall disappear,
In love I pledge my trust,
For it, I cheer,
To believe in it, I must.

Born from ashes,
I am anew,
With no more clashes,
To the sorrow, adieu.

Red is the fire,
Which is my blood,
The flames of heart aspire,
To end this tragic flood.

Yellow is joy,
Rushing through my veins,
For a little flower whose blooming I enjoy,
Freed of all chains.

On passions wings,
I will take a flight,
And sing a song to everlasting springs,
There shall be no more fright.

Reflected in the mirror,
Eternal flame of the soul is what I desire,
It is indeed clearer,
The wish to be forever consumed in this fire.

Singing on the rooftop,
Two lonely crows of grey,
Complaining about every flop,
And how everything went astray.

Their feathers worn out and weak,
Carry all the letters,
Which their hearts seek.

With each raindrop,
Their screams became more violent,
With every hop,
Their desires became silent.

Together they can no longer be,
For one broke its wings,
And the other one flew free.

On the river blue,
There swam a swan of silver,
Free it once flew,
Believing it was a winner.

Before its wings were cut,
By the one it once trust.

It gave up on its love,
Right there on the river blue,
Whilst the moon was shining above,
The distance between them just grew.

In that water deep,
Fire burning bright was reflected,
The swan would no longer weep,
It accepted that it was rejected.

It may never fly,
But it can still swim,
It won’t die,
Although it’s faith is dim.

My heart is breaking,
I am aching,
This moon that stares at me is sending shivers down my spine,
I can no longer see its shine.

The light reminds me of you,
That honest smile of yours,
I am yet again blue,
You went closing all doors.

Time is what we didn’t have,
Yet this agony seems eternal,
I promise it is not how I behave,
The moments we had are now infernal.

We misunderstood each other,
So we chose silence,
The days are passing one after another,
It is a horrible sentence.

I still miss you,
I really do,
Dreams are all that I have,
They are overflowing with you.

I’ve never known love,
Although I’ve loved fiercely,
Always being the caged dove,
With wings damaged severely.

Through the dark, two lights were shining bright,
Those were your eyes,
In me they ignite,
A fire leading to my demise.

You sank your teeth into my heart,
And left me bleeding,
My world has fallen apart,
With you on its throne, leading.

Your apathy is killing me,
Tell me, how can you be so cruel?
Ignoring my plea,
As if I were a worthless jewel.

I thought of you once more,
The way you broke me,
My heart is at war,
I no longer wish to be.

My wings lost all their feathers,
I can never fly,
I just sit and write letters,
Until my thoughts die.

You indeed strangled me,
A little innocent rose,
I cannot let my petals flee,
Pain is what I chose.

Bursting in flames,
My heart still cries,
When it hears your name,
Denying your lies.

My soul consisting of agony,
Wishes to become a ghost,
Disappearance my path shall be,
I will run from you the most.

Your name will never caress my lips again,
Nor will you break my bones,
The memory of you will be my pen,
Writing on the stones.

I am going alone,
This pain will never be spoken of,
The wind has blown,
Taking away my guarded love.

For everyone, I was always too much,
For you, I was never enough,
I still yearn for your touch,
I am tired of being tough.

Breathing has become a torture,
Every time I try I find myself suffocating,
I feel like a mourner,
Weeping over our ashes, waiting.

Doubt is what you gave me,
It’s crushing my lungs,
Please set me free,
I no longer want to sing tragic songs.

This city of mine,
Once truly divine,
Is now full of hurt,
Poisoning its dirt.

It’s corners once colorful,
Became gray,
Everything wonderful,
Somehow went astray.

Betrayed by my dreams,
I was shattered,
At night I can hear the screams,
Their voices scattered.

The fire in me was slain,
My mind suffocating in smoke,
How can I stay sane,
When my heart just broke?

I’m still bleeding tears,
Despite my stitches,
I know it will take years,
Before my state switches.

My heart feels like stone most of the days,
It’s tight and cold from sadness,
Yet it shatters under your gaze,
And falls into madness.

Every hug we share,
Feels like a death sentence knowing it won’t last,
It’s something my soul can’t bare,
I wish I could change the past.

Maybe then your eyes wouldn’t be the gun,
Aimed directly at my heart,
Maybe then this agony would’ve never begun,
And this love could never depart.

Why am I never enough?
Why am I always the one bleeding?
Why is loving me so tough?
Why am I always left pleading?

I am a soul worth looking into too,
I don’t have a lot of visible scars,
I can’t show you what I’ve been through,
But I did fought many wars.

You left,
Desperate cries for help,
Were silenced by anger,
Nothing else was felt,
My wrist was my anchor.

I’ve lost again,
I know,
My efforts were in vain,
Just let me bathe in my sorrow.

I hate giving you immortality through these lines,
That wicked smile of yours captured me,
I ignored all the signs,
Telling me it’s not meant to be.

I let you come close,
And paint on my heart,
Instead betrayal is what you chose,
Letting everything fall apart.

You were cruel,
Playing your ***** games,
I was a fool,
Burning willingly in those flames.

You stabbed my heart many times,
My body is still aching,
Bones are breaking,
Under the weight of your vicious crimes.

Walking alone was something that I’d been used to,
Little did I know,
That I would come across you,
And your glow.

You creeped into my mind,
I could feel your presence growing,
I was becoming blind,
My imagination was overflowing.

I craved to feel your breath on my skin,
And intertwine our fingers,
Seeing you grin,
Disappeared everything that once lingered.

I’d never been a schemer,
And that might have been just a dream,
But I’d always been an excellent dreamer,
Not knowing things might not appear as what they seem.