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complexify Jul 2018
.
it was simple.

i fell in love.
no extra words needed for any of us who felt it to immediately understand.
.
complexify Sep 2016
.
i
  don't
    bother
      explaining
         myself
        to
      you
    because
   i
could
   definitely
     live
      without
        you












                          ­     maybe
idc
.
complexify Mar 2017
.
I know the risks when I said I loved you. I loved you as a person, as a friend, as a soul. I never lied to you about how I loved you. I loved you more than I ever loved myself but unfortunately you want more. You want more than I can ever give, and I'm sorry I can't do that. I'm sorry that half of my, half of my fiery soul burned out for someone else two years ago. I'm sorry that another half was taken by a goddess, and she turned my fire blue. I loved her, more than I loved me, more than I can ever love you.
complexify May 2016
Why, today's a great day. I remembered our times when we walked together through the streets, laughing over how silly I look when we were only 7, I fell into the hole in front of us. But we were too into our conversations at that time. I fell again, and now I broke my leg. You cried to me, begging me to help. You only looked at me, as you do not know how to help me. 'Our hands can't reach each other, I fell too deep.' you said.*

There, the devil's revelation.

About us.

He told me that his revelations are not accurate
As he heard them from the highest firmament.
Today hurts so bad. Pray that I'll be stronger tomorrow. I love you guys.
complexify May 2016
I was always
A red blood rose
Dangerous.

I used to be someone
Who loved someone else
And not to be loved myself.

It was hard
To accept the fact
That I'm not worth
To be loved
But eventually I accepted it.

But then
You came
Knocking at my door
Saying you're in love with me.

How can I accept
I mean
You must have been
A crazy maniac
Thinking that
You could break down
My wall that I've built
And strengthen
Since long ago?

Do you think I'd
Fall for you
And let my blossom
To be stepped on
By anyone else
After the first one?

Try
And fall
As I won't
Let you
Or anyone else
To hurt me
And make me bleed again.

I am a rose
Fall for my deceiving beauty
And be in pain
Of my sharp thorns.
Another one because tomorrow's English test.
complexify Feb 2016
I listen to songs
I curl in my bed
I jumped around
I laughed alone
I cried alone
But my mind was truly only
Thinking about you.

The songs fade away
The bed felt hot
I fell down
I cried and laughed indecisively
But my mind was truly only
Thinking about you.
I miss you.
complexify Apr 2016
After all of us
You decided to disappear
Leaving me behind.

After all of us
You decided to fade
Pushing me aside.

After all of us
You decided to scream
Saying it wasn't your fault.

After all of you
I'm freezing here
Waiting.

After all of us
I realized
I am nothing, after all.
Still missing you.
complexify Sep 2016
oh you wanna know what happened?

you wanna know what happened after you left me?

let me tell you a bit of them.

my luck went away
a series of tragedies happened.
as if you were my charm of luck
and that my luck left
along with you.

there's more.

i lost my heart*
i tried to love again
but *******
it doesn't feel the same.
it will never be the same.
how foolish of me to expect
others to give
the same love that you
have given before.

i hate to admit
i needed you
i wanted you so bad
now i need no one
and i want no one.

thank you
for making me feel like this.

i hope what i told you
made you happy
happy to see me suffer
and to see me die faster.
feelings are very ******* fragile
complexify Jul 2016
I closed my eyes
Thinking about things.

I let my feelings flow their way

Into the palace of sunny day
And into the hues of grey.

Through the darkness I swim
Straight into the river of grim.

Sometimes I hear a melody
Trying to drain me.

"Come, come, come to me."
"Come closer, we'll set you free."

They wanted me to stay
But nah, they cannot touch me during the day.

Indeed I meet demons on my journey
And also angels guarding doors.
But I find it kinda funny
When I saw you on the shore.

I thought to myself
"*******, I thought I freed."
You're like one of the final bosses of video games
That I've already killed.

I'm just a poetic gamer
Pretty sure I'm not the first.
What do you expect
A poem with blue skies and endless universe?

Maybe, but not this time.

And so I recited a cryptic verse
And watch you burn within my curse.
Experimenting. :)
complexify Jul 2016
I know one thing for sure.

Everyone would agree with me
*If only there's an app for HelloPoetry!
Who's with me?!
air
complexify Aug 2016
air
lately, it's hard for me to breathe. i don't know why, maybe it's just a flu or maybe i'm starting to miss you, again. i hope the second possibility is not true, because my body can't handle it anymore. last time this happened, i nearly lost my mind. and i hope that i will not lose the remaining pieces of myself. i'm not ready to suffer again. i need some air.
complexify Nov 2016
i am a liar
thought i could fool anyone
but i couldn't fool me.

i am a liar
about things
mostly feelings.

i am a liar
that said i moved on
nights i'll mourn

i am a liar
an escapist
never a realist.

i am a liar
yes, it's a sin
but it's how i cope
to continue to hope.
yeah? yeah.
complexify Sep 2017
artistically, i am the fragments of the glass you smashed on that cold concrete.

emotionally, you drown me in that black seas of darkness.

technically, all you did was you left me with memories.

but honestly?

i am broken beyond repair.
idk.
complexify Mar 2017
go, my child
let the river of words flow out of you.

go, my child
let the fire of emotions lights the path for you.

go, my child
do not fear, i'll still be here.

but remember, my child
the river is deep
and the fires are big

if you are not careful
you might drown
or burn to death

but hush, my dear.

run with your tiny feet.
and discover the world.
complexify Apr 2017
why do i feel heavy everytime i write?
is it such a burden to my soul to express myself?

it's like stuck between the skies and the earth
no ground to step on
and no hope to believe in.

i fear falling
crashing to the earth
meeting my end of life
i was never afraid to die
i guess maybe most of us
are just scared of how we die.

i cannot speak the right words
to express, to impress anymore
i cannot write a good poem
to relieve, to believe
it's like my mouth is closed shut
and my hands are sealed tight.
seriously though.
complexify Jun 2016
I am a storm
Forced into this
Weak form.

Hey little daisy
If you think you loved me
You're wrong.
Nah, not because I said so
Neither because I was wrong.

I am a storm.
In my journey
I destroy things.
I destroy life.
I destroy happiness.
And do you know why?

It's in me.

It's the reason I exist.

If you still bare to say
That you're in love with me
Know that you'll run from me
Like everyone else.

So go.
Keep your stupid feelings to yourself.
No one should love me. I'm destructive. I've been trying to tell you, Nisa. But you're just too into yourself and your feelings. I did love you. I never lied to you that night. I could just move on from her and go on with you. I realized that a storm cannot live beside a beautiful daisy like you so I decided to turn things around and make you leave me.
complexify Nov 2016
if there's a place between the heavens and hell

that may be the place i belong to
i think so.
complexify May 2016
Judge me by my past
And I'll be sure to **** you with my future.
complexify Apr 2016
Diamonds, spades, hearts, and ace,
Whenever I see you, my heart will race.
It happens, every time.
complexify Apr 2016
Catch me
If I fall

Catch me
If you see me
Trembling across the street

Catch me
When I fell into your warmth

Catch me
When I fell into your arms

Catch me
When I look into your eyes
You're the drug I can never stop being addicted to.
complexify Dec 2016
you will somehow reach a certain point where you understand certain things.

and after that, you'll realize how low and stupid you have been.

but if you focus on how stupid you were before, will it make any difference?

if you stay and continue to mourn for his death, will he resurrect from your tears?

if you dwell and drown in your sea of emotions, will anything change?

please don't use a tragedy to make yourself feel sad.

please stop this madness, this escape route you've been using just because you're uncertain of what you should feel.

just because you don't feel anything and you want to feel something makes you use tragedies and accidents to feel sad.

that's pathetic.
idfk.
complexify Jul 2016
Once before
I told you why we couldn't be together
But here we are, holding each other's hand.

I remembered how I told you that
I'm the colour black, and you're the colour white.
I still remember the smile you gave me
Why, my angel's racist now?, you joked.

I was serious
But you made me laugh a bit back there.

I still remember how I justified
How different we are
To be together.
I'm a pessimist, you're a ******* optimist, see?
We're different, we won't fit with each other
We're like the ocean and the skies, separated forever.

I still remember your laugh
And your words after you kissed me.

Why does it matter that much
That we're different?

Why, my angel
You're a sweet chocolate cake
And I'm the vanilla ice-cream.

No matter how different we are
We're still happy together.
*Isn't that all that matters?
Yeah, literally eating chocolate cake while writing this one.
complexify Oct 2016
as i was reading a superhero comic, in it there's a lot of superheroes.
*i thought about the relations between comics, love, and heartbreak.


in life

love was supposed to be the superhero.
and the villain was supposed to be heartbreak.

love was supposed to fill the emptiness
and heartbreak was supposed to **** people.

but we have come to an era where
love kills, and heartbreak heals.


*what is happening?
idk
complexify Jul 2016
We all have something
Or someone

Who brought us here
Into poetry.
Mind sharing? I'd love to know. Comment below! :)
complexify Oct 2016
fires are red
and skies are blue
my feelings fade
along with you.

the sun rises
and the moon disappear
fear not darkness
just keep your mind clear.

one day, she said
'laugh with me'
i laughed along
i forgot my misery.
idk seriously
complexify Feb 2016
The universe is complex
Yet not complete
Our souls met
And we weren't complete back then

But when your body met mine
Your lips touched my skin
It's like the universe was complete
Beyond perfection

I look into your eyes
I see death
And I saw me inside of you
And I am still wondering
When did I became trapped in your captivating eyes?

When we kissed
Stars explode
Black hole was formed
New planets was created
We were recreated.
I am damnly in love with you
complexify Aug 2016
as you fall into the darkness
the depravity
would you mind touching my hand?

i would like to feel the stiffness
of darkness itself
from your cold hands.

but why won't you touch me?
dance your fingers around my body
and touch them wherever you want
i want it all
the cold and its humidity
the winter and your icy fingers


why won't you touch me?
i still see the fire in your eyes
burning with passion and lust
but why won't you touch me?
do it with grace
i want to taste the fire
and the ice
both of them aroused me
alluring me to this place
where darkness surrounds
and light fails to hold its ground.

i succumbed into
your mesmering eyes
now touch me
and feel the world pulverize.
i can almost imagine this vividly in my mind.
complexify Nov 2016
we are descending
into an era where we
can ever see the truth again.

we are immersing
in a pool of black ink
and cold sharp pain
all over again
blinding us.

we are serenely
killing ourselves
drowning inside with no oxygen
to breath, to take in

we are decelerating
and the illusions won't stop
the fear won't disappear
and death is
the sound we'll never hear.
idk, trump won :(
complexify Apr 2017
[stage 1]

once, i thought depression is a ******* *******.
i thought it is a figment of my imagination, the error in the calculations.
just a burden.
i never thought i would feel them every single ******* night.

[stage 2]

i thought it ended there.
i thought if i sleep early, the demons cannot haunt me at nights. i thought i could sleep and forget, like i always did.
then the nightmares came knocking at my dreams' doors.

[stage 3]

i started losing sleep. i started to believe that this will be neverending.
then i started depressing over things during daylight.

[stage 4]

im losing a piece of myself, bit by bit, every second of every day.
.
complexify Jul 2016
I am
That kind of person
Who can easily make new friends
And also the one to easily lose one.

But it hurts me
Because I fell in love with
Every single person
I make friends with.

I fell in love
With each of their smile
Their words and their minds
Their pain and their happiness
Their uniqueness.

Sometimes it hurts to
Be the kind of string
That would get tangled up
So easily.

It's a different kind of pain
*If you're feeling what I'm feeling.
Sigh.
complexify Jul 2016
My mind is blank
This is the third piece of paper
That I crumpled.

I don't know what to think.

I used to have faith in things
In humanity, in love.
But ****, life stings
I'm burning my trust in the stove.

I used to breathe slowly
Enjoying the fresh air
But now pollutants are killing me softly
The atmosphere's their lair.

Mother Earth is dying
Humans savaging
Doesn't anyone realize the link
If she dies, she'll bring along everything?

I used to feel young and free
Without hate, without despair.
But the world worries me
How long until we all start to care?
After I crumpled the paper, I realized how I was wasting resources. I was wasting trees. So I uncrumpled the paper and started writing :)
end
complexify Oct 2020
end
everything must end
so by logic
my pain would too
idk i hope it does
complexify Apr 2016
You should know that
I've fallen into
A cold, never ending darkness
I can never turn back.

Don't come near
You'll fall too
And I swear it hurts
You should run
Or fight the darkness
Don't embrace it like I did
You'll fall
You'll fall.

If you think you're strong
And you think you can win
You are totally wrong
Turn around
And never look back.

Promise me
You won't ever fall
And join me
Promise me
To not let yourself
Fall down here
Forever.
It's dark and cold.
complexify May 2016
Fantasies
Can be deceiving
Yet addicting.

I always
Fantasize about you
About us.
I don't know, it all seem too blurry to explain.

What I can explain
Is that we are happy
Together
Forever and ever.

Or maybe
It will only be
In my wildest fantasies.
Fantasies can be very, very dangerous.
complexify May 2016
"I wish I have no feelings at all."

Yeah, feelings are *******.
I agree.
But I'll also have to disagree.
I'm not actually an optimistic person
But I know a thing or two about feelings.

Feelings depend on you.*
Feelings are like a little brother of yours
Annoying I'd say.
Sometimes it would drift off by itself
That's why
Sometimes it would remind you
About things you want to forget.
But it depends on you
You're his big brother, or sister
Lead its way.
Don't let it drift off.
Play with it sometimes, a little imagination is fine.

Feelings would hurt you
Sometimes when you turn your back against it
It'll hit you with painful memories.

It wants your attention.
It wants you to feel, to cry and to laugh.
To learn from regret.
But be wise.
It's just a little kid.
Don't follow it blindly towards the void.

Feelings are like your little brother
If you look in a perspective.
So tell me
Do you still wish you'd lose your little brother now?
Don't ever say you wish that you don't have any feelings at all. If you have no feelings you'll never be stronger.
complexify Aug 2016
i'm still figuring out about
what to write.

maybe a little bit about
how we fight
or how you vanished out of sight?

i'm still figuring out about
what we had
it's just too sad
oh-uh, am i going mad?

i'm still figuring out about
what i felt
because all i ever had
was gone in a sec.

i'm still figuring out about
what to write.

maybe about
the sleepless nights
or our endless fights?

or maybe a bit about
the sensation you gave
or your presence that i crave?

i don't know.
i'm still figuring it all out.
what do you guys think?
complexify Dec 2017
after all

we are temporary beings
living in a temporary world
surrounded by temporary things
and temporary souls

looking for eternal feelings

we are beings
looking for forever
in the ephemeral glimpse

looking under the shades of time
and through the mirrors of possibillities.

maybe we are going to spend our lives looking for forever until whenever.

maybe because
because we refuse to look at the right place forever.
does it make sense to you?
complexify Feb 2016
one day

you'll forget

what hurts you

you'll forget

what killed you

you'll forget

your agony

you'll wake up instead

remembering

the reason why

you won't give up

since the beginning.
it will all end. trust me. stay strong **
complexify Apr 2016
In the future
I don't wanna be
Someone
Who laughed at my own stupidity
For loving you before.

In the future
I want to be the one
Who kisses you good morning
And kisses you again at night
The one to wish you sleep tight
And say
'I hope angels bless you till morning light.'

I wanna be the one
To watch you sleep
In a way
That make you feel safe
Protected.

I wanna laugh
Seeing your annoyed face
And the redness of your nose
After I pinched them
As I kidded around with you
At the kitchen.

I really love you
I wanna be with you
And I know I really do.
Also dedicating this poem to Athena Sofiya.
complexify Apr 2016
If you ever think of giving me false hope
Or never ending lies
I suggest you don't.

My heart is too fragile
Mend of fractures of glasses
I've picked before.

It's too weak
After series
And series
Of hopeful regret.

So if you ever
Think about breaking my heart
I beg you
With all energy
I still had

Please don't.
I can't even think after writing this poem. It's too accurate to me.
complexify May 2016
Our silence
Is like
Gold.

Wait, no
A golden sword, yes.
It pierces through me
Cutting me in half.

I hate it
When you stab me like this
All my blood spilling
Leaving me to die
Slowly and painfully.

Say something
Why won't you say anything?
It hurts me
Because I know
This would be the end.
If I let this silence
Pierce through us again
Everything we had
Would be over

You want that
I can see it from your fiery eyes
As you stab me
Screaming silently
Saying things I can't hear
Why would you end us like this?

If you really want us
To end
Then end it properly
Say it out loud
That you don't want me
That you don't need me
Tell me
Tell me, I will understand
I will walk away and never return
Just tell me
Shoot me with a bullet
Don't pierce and cut me with your sword
I don't want us to end like this.
Please.
Awkwardly writing this while being watched by someone.
complexify Aug 2016
i never said that i was unhappy when you left me.
i was happy.

i was happy for you
because you'd not end up with someone like me.

i was happy for me
because i can't hurt you anymore.

i was happy for me
so i won't make you cry anymore.

yes i know
i might be a little unhappy
because you left me
because i can never find another you
because i will lose your complexus
your kiss and your touch
everything that used to connect us.

i might be a little unhappy when you left
because i can never love again
i vowed to the clouds that you were my last
because i thought you were the last.

but nah
i was happy when you left me.
complexify Jul 2016
Someone I used to love
Said to me with a playful tone.

"I hate loving you."

I was confused
I never heard something like that before.

All I know was love and hate
Are always in war with each other
Is it possible for them to be together?


Wait, maybe I've heard it somewhere.
Aphrodite and Ares?

It was like taking a shower during winter.
I hate it, before going inside.
But I can't help but to love it so much
Once I'm in it.

*Same goes to your beautiful mind.
In my opinion, love and hate need each other, to be honest. :)
complexify May 2016
Your chest feels heavy, doesn't it?
You feel like you wanna drift off
Leaving everything behind.

I'll tell you what
I feel the same way too.

Because surviving's getting harder?
Maybe.
Because we don't get what or who we want?
Possibly be.

Or maybe just we need each other
To lift the weight
Together
And maybe we will be much stronger?
Everything's a possibility.
complexify Jun 2016
I left.
I saw you there and I left.
I left for me.
For us.

At a moment of realization
And clarity
I saw your figure
Standing under the pouring rain
Holding your umbrella

I saw your hair, your lips.
I saw us, laying under the big oak tree
With some touch of golden hues
I saw your smile, and your tears.

And I also saw his lips touch yours.
I laughed a bit there.
As I kicked some pebbles
Along my wander
I heard your whispers
Your laugh.

I know we never told each other
That we both feel what I feel.

I know we never kiss each other
The way he kissed you.

I saw everything
About us
In this place.

Cheers to us
To you and to him
To our memories, too.
And to me, I guess.

I'll be better off anywhere else
Than to be here.
But still, wherever I go, I'd still hear and see you.
[This poem has so many flaws in it, I wasn't thinking straight while writing this. Please comment below, thank you <3)
complexify Jun 2016
Behind our fragile skin
There's secrets everywhere
Lurking inside.

Behind every picture
There are memories
Everywhere
Can't you see it?

Behind our minds
There's insanity
Can't you feel it?

Behind everything
There's something
Hidden
From plain sight.
No notes.
complexify Aug 2016
i love you

(
more than the sun could ever burn for someone.)

i love you

(
more than the skies could cry for anyone)

i love you

(
more than the seas could ever be most chaotic, or even safe and sound.)

i love you*

(more than any lost souls
that Death could rip until it's dawn.
)

i love you

(i'm begging you, now please
don't let me down.*)
i love you and the hidden depths behind it.
complexify Feb 2016
This long road
Is going to be painful
If you're walking alone.

I'll lend you my hand
Sorry for the blood
It was from yesterday's fall.

I can share you my hope
My little tiny hope
If you're willing to accept.
Sorry, my mind is ****** up because it's 4 a.m and tomorrow's school. Know that I'll be here for anyone to share their problems with me. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Just message me :)
complexify Aug 2016
they gave me one last chance to decide. they have been fighting with other since 17 years ago, the day i was born. and now they want me to choose one side. it all started because of you, once they saw you they immediately agree with each other on one thing; all three of us needed you. your smile made us melt, your laugh made their arguments fell, your voice alone forced them to shake hands and demand truce. the best part was they even committed ideas to me on how to steal your heart. everything was going well between these two kingdoms, and their peace made me happy too.

but then you left. the war started again, in a much bigger scale. they tried to call for truce for a few times but everything went wrong without you. they ended up hurting me, and what i can only do was to sit still and feel everything. i went down, your absence did hurt me as they started to blame me for losing you. i started to lose control, and they scrambled with each other to try and control me, forcefully. i never liked my heart's decisions, and my brain's also stupid. it almost felt like i had two uncontrollable hearts. since you left, everything i did went wrong and ended up hurting all of us again and again.

one day, i woke up after passing out of tiring and exhausting nights thinking about how to make them at peace again. they were silent that day and that made me feel weird. no arguments heard, and my head's not spinning as usual. i came knocking at my brain's door and i found him sitting on a dark corner, crying. he told me he gave up, he couldn't take it anymore. after i walked out of his house, he slammed the door behind me, and so i went to see my heart. as i thought, he gave up as well. i went back home, not knowing what to feel.

one day, they came knocking at my door, asking me to side with one of them for once and forever. i refused, as i don't know what to reply or what to feel. they left, and after a few moments i heard another knock at my door and i opened the door.

*"do you have a place for me to stay? my name's emptiness."
a little story i've been wanting to tell :)
complexify Jul 2016
I laughed a bit.
You're asking me how?
Let me answer that for you.

x

*You can't.
you can't avoid what's inevitable.
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