im scared
ive barricaded my door
cried a river into my floor
someone save me

im scared
i thought i was strong enough to be on my own
but now i'm afraid to be in my own home
someone please save me

so blinded by the rose tint of my glasses
so far-sighted whenever i thought of you grinning from ear to ear
yet i was so nearsighted whenever you were here

now that i'm slowly correcting my vision
maybe my prescription isn't a perfect 20-20
but i feel like i've reflected and understood plenty

at best, you're just an acquaintance, not a friend
yeah, i might be seeing things 20-21
but to me, everything we did was never just for fun

i felt it then
the crack spreading across my window pane
drowning into an ocean of shards of pain
when was the last time i felt this way?

yeah, i'll put the porcelain pieces back together
but how did it break when you never promised me forever
so please, don't ever treat me like i'm yours
if you're going to abandon me at the thrift store

maybe it's my fault for wanting more
but really, you played a big role in my heart that tore

its all your fault, its all your fault
its all my fault, its all my fault
it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter
we're both at fault here
but go ahead and blame me, make me the villain
it's because you never learned how to be chillin'
or maybe i just never learned to care
but if that's the case, how come you were never there?

i think in that regard, its not fair
i was there for you through thick and thin
because if i didn't, you'd try to get under my skin
and yet you've never been there for me
quit spamming me on ig

yeah, too busy talking **** about me to our friends
but i've been called every single name under the sun
so good luck if you're tryna have some fun
coulda been friends but you wanted more
wanted me to block you from the waves while i died on the shore

So obsessed with who’s real and who’s fake
In that case maybe you should take a double-take
Only ever hitting me up when you’re lonely
Stop thinking we homies when you don’t even know me
Not even trying to get to know me beyond the surface
Yeah, these conversations to me have no purpose

Yeah got all these little boys tryna hit me up for affection
Don't care about the real me, only the attention
But boys don't get me wrong, just because I'm alone doesn't mean I need your fixation
Alone but not lonely, yet the men I like don't like my complexion
Unfortunate but it's okay, I'm looking for forever
So before that, I gotta get better

Acting like you’re the only one with issues
Well guess what boy, everybody’s got a mountain of tissues
Yeah, everybody’s got their problems
But unlike you, they keep quiet and try to solve em

Yeah I may be a psych major
And you may think that works out in your your favour
but friends ain’t being your personal therapist
I met too many just like you, could make a list
Yeah I ain’t tryna sound heartless but
If you think that, then you don’t know me at all, case shut

“I know you, you wouldn’t do something like that”
Yeah, the real ones don’t need me to obsessively hit em back
They respect my ADHD, yeah it’s a neurological disorder
I was born with it, people like you always tryna change my borders
They didn't even know about it beforehand, yeah they like me for me
Even been there for me when I had to go through therapy

Now you run your mouth around town
Truth be told, you brought my mental health down
When we were together, not now
I’ve been called every name under the sun, running your mouth only makes you look like a clown

Yeah I don’t like being bitter
But truth be told boy, you’re a real vibe killer
I’m always thinking about the big picture
But you always make everything about you, like you’re some famous fixture
Keep that in mind next time you complain about getting bitten
Think about how you made a tiger out of this fluffy kitten

you were an oasis in a desert

i thought you were an oasis,
but you were a mirage.
and a mirage is all you will ever be.

why do people do things that are bad for them
maybe its because
they dont love themselves enough
maybe that bad thing
is the only good thing left in their life

why do people stay with people that are bad for them
maybe its because
they think they don't deserve better
maybe that bad person
helps them relive their past trauma unconsciously

"i wish i could have your brain"
"let's trade minds for a day"
"it must be easy being you"
are so ******* triggering
cause you have no idea what it's like
to be me, to be a prisoner of my own mind
to be drowning in a whirlpool of darkness
to be so full of self hatred and insecurity

an adorable little lamb
fur so soft, strong like a ram
who would have known
you were nothing but a sham.

looking back, perhaps you really were
who you were
i thought of you like a wolf in sheep's clothing
but i think we just didn't fit, without us knowing

you were like a lamb, soft in your own right
but i was a dolphin, never destined to see the light
i hope you're flocking in the fields
and that time has made you heal.

the summer sun's first rays stained the river red
i am the waterfall, providing the sorrows
little tear droplets all pile up, now im swimming in a pool of blood
i cant even tell if im alive or dead

as the season changes over, how fitting is it
that the river runs red once again as summer's last rays fade
maybe i hid so well that even i was blind to my own facade
and now im too far gone, swimming
swimming

swim

too often
when a heart cracks in half
it seeks out another broken heart
to make itself whole again

instead of
picking up its own pieces
and putting itself back together
or forging a new half for itself
it glues itself to a different half

the problem is
when the glue wears out in due time
those two mismatched halves break apart
and you are still half of a broken heart

so take that love that you so desire
and give it to yourself, to raise you higher
because love isn't two pieces of a broken heart
it is the enrichment that two whole hearts bring

I used to be afraid of the monsters in the dark,
                                                 of the boogie man,
                             and the creatures in my closet.
I used to have nightmares of horrifying abominations,
     of goblins and gremlins, vampires and werewolves,
                                  And the pain these creatures bring.
But now, I stopped screaming in the dark,
                                  looking under my bed,
            and checking my closet every night.
Instead, I have nightmares of people around me,
                                          of causing other’s deaths,
                               and the hurt that society brings.
When I realized the monsters were inside of us.

when you first noticed me
you could see that i had an eye for broken souls
so i'm sorry
i could not be the one to fix your holes.

but really, you were a wedge in disguise
leading to my ultimate demise.
i thought you fit the space in my heart,
but really, you were tearing me apart.

Her heart is made of paper
with every word you say,
she hangs onto them like it’s her universe
never thinking you only want to play.

You toy with her paper heart,
crumpling and tearing it apart
and throw the pieces in the air,
                     falling to the floor.

She’s so blinded by your words,
it’s written all over her, it doesn’t matter
                                                  if she dies
drowning in your sweet nothings
it’s too late for her to say goodbye.