Sometimes we laugh and sometimes we cry
Enjoying our moments in wealth and good vibes
But there are those times when we get caught and despair,
Only a miracle can save us, dear friend,
                                                              from our poetry's tragic end.

One night fully spent in the wake of long hours,
With thoughts streaming loud: You'll be mine,
Look what we've prepared for you!"
The images moving in slow motion in waves,
Only a miracle can save us, good friend.

Peaceful times disturbed, lust for life,
                                                        lust for the eternal love,
Why don't we dare to know all this justice?
Why am I asking for more sorrow and trouble?
Only a miracle can save us from ourselves.

A little place of heaven
To you those whom I love,
Your need not causing sorrow
To hearts of friends,
Your family complete.

**** for rebirth,
                  Rebirth of humans,
The angels inside
                  Fight for Light.

A family that can't be helped
            saved
it needs not TO BE
A soul against my heart
bio my heart
            against my brain
Shaping life
My mind cruel
Slaughter of the stupid
.choices wrong.
Heat of the burning hell inside.

Let's be merry.

How worthy of love are we?
What makes us worthy and why do things have to be this troubling?
Learning from the young and reckless
Rather than being myself all-knowing
And potent,
All wrong.

Adolescence worries...

So, now I have to hate you!
Okay, whatever you did was probably brilliant,
Your god will be proud of your grip, of your heart,
All your knowledge...
Oh love!

Whatever you did you did it to help me,
Twisted some ways of learning the truth,
Friendship can last only for a minute
And a minute means a lot more than I had hoped.

So, now I have to hate you!
Okay! Your game was brilliant!
Your gods must be so proud of you, your heart,
Your strong grip, your sorrowful end... a wile.

Lost in confusing feelings
A heart not knowing is a heart that can't see clearly
All desires of the dangerous
Blinded by love, crisp hatred and faith.
Launched in agony,
Apathy encompassing creativity
Glow under the canopy of the great.

From shattered bits of mirrors
and mirroring hearts made of steel,
Gold white plain's
Recomposing the one that I am,
The essence away with the one wholeheartedly loved...
Duty remains duty,
Love will be love
And hatred will find a reason
If not for the sake of the game then for what?

Assumed life,
Assumed reasons to carry on with
Until the hearts melt away,
Feelings storming with no option to make you pay
For their hunger,
Active in their wait for your decline,
Sick, tired and paced with your light feat
You disappear in the haze of vapours
Caused by luxurious rain.

What's this, mother?
- I don't know, Let's discover!
What could be in this bag?
- Oh, look, a pair of gloves and mistletoe!
A Santa magic ball and two pine cones;
three angels with flutes, a bow and Christmas *****.
Oh, look! A heart and ginger bread...
And Apple Rolls! You remembered!
the child jumps around joyously dancing
- You remembered! You remembered!
- I sure did!
The night is slowly falling, her cover of dark ink
Dolling.

Blessed a night,
With no fallacy snowflakes cover the grounds,
The air touched
With white fairies, unique, caressing memoirs
Pristine hearts.

Blessed, the moon rises
Above pine trees and fir, at the pass of each cloud
Staring into the dark proud.

The hour of kisses under mistletoe arrives.
Cards, still, lingering on tables, in the air sweetness of cake,
Paces of a stranger showing a loner path,
Caramel whiff, Carols lift into the drizzling canopy,
Bells tolling, memories falling and calling
For help.

He knows nothing of this, the loner,
Empty his heart, leaving all hope behind,
Refilled with tears,
His mind produces magical dreams.

In praise of past illusions, love for life,
Love for laughter, love for the lost...
Rebirth of love divine,
In loved shells chosen,
The sky's bright darkness manifests.

Of clear conception,
Inception, blue fill...
To come on the morrow
When Santa's gifts we'll find
Under our trees,
When hearts of true will offer
More than empty smiles
And a cup of coffee...

A sign of blissful charm, enchanting
A world devoid of magic and love.

"Better to be cold than destroyed,
Crushed under the mighty need to feel all-mighty.
Better a cold star than a burden
To your own world."

Of pristine conception,
Inception, blue fill...
Love means sacrifice
And sacrifice's treated today
For stupid act of treason to the self,
To good old reason...
Charms enchanting cups of hot chocolate
To ease a child's pain.

In praise of past illusions, love for life,
Love for laughter, love for the lost...
Rebirth of love divine,
In loved shells chosen,
The sky's bright darkness manifests.

The hour of kisses under mistletoe comes back.
Cards, toys, ribbons and lights floored, flavour of cheesecake,
Shadows of the past and footprints left around,
Caramel whiff, Carols lifted to gently touch the angels,
Bells tolling, memories falling and calling
For help.

Blessed, the moon rises
Above pine trees and fir, at the pass of each cloud
Staring into the dark aloud.

Heart of shattered dreams,
Illusions on all screens: Possibilities screams!

Heart of mine, broken, blue,
                                               cry for the love lost.

For the pride of your greatest, the mightiest,
                             your beloved.

Admiring your strength, your truth,
                                                             in times of loneliness, no despair,
Heart of darkness, heart of wishes, desires and hopes.
                             Melting away,
Giving life to a soldier,
                                      worthy.

What to do for you, dear?
Do deserve your kingdom, of broken hearts, loose, lovely!

Fake happiness, turning into a real miracle,
Your soul says it all, there's no need of cruelty call.

Life to create out of nothing, out of shame, out of something...
Examples to take.

"Did I expect anything else from you?
How dared I?"
(to know, to care, to hope)
Believing was probably my greatest mistake,
Not
"Problem causing distress
                                          more agony .(?).
Sure!"

Bring it on, ready for one more fight?
Yes, I was trained right!
Do I care?!

Heart of shattered hopes,
Illusions, dreams and lores,
Realities for people to live.
Humans to love...

Did I expect anything better from you?
(For my own sake)
                                 I hope I did not!

Tune of sharp blades,
Voice of deep knowledge, truth delved
Disquieting the serious
Speaking the grim truth
I find myself in need
To change what's become of me;
Despicable gallon,
wily crooner.

Tyranny: you like us small,
For your pride to be greater the many must suffer,
You are superior,
Your time of grief ending soon
with broken disasters
Yielded to the world by candlelit audiences,
a trifle apologetic
outlining chastisement.

If to love and be loved is that stupid then keep being an ignorant!

The math, the scent, the tears…
A couple of ears and two eyes that aren’t willing to see
What we’ve prepared for today!
- Hey, sister! Would you see us!?
- Hey, teacher! Could you care about us?!
- Hey brothers, did you ever embrace a cruel song
And let it tare apart your entire soul?

An arbiter of splendour
Was sitting on a bench,
In silence waiting for his times
To come and take away
All pains.

An arbiter for love and your great dance
Eternal!

"I was never good enough for you,
Never doing what you wanted me to do,
I’m quite proud of that right now
Since it kept keeping me away from that pesky debt you had to carry on with!”

Eternal dance of love
And passion for the poor
That’s rich in kind but sorrowful unreachable goals!



Two dots on a sot verticality
Asking for more:
Destroy all the planet, destroy us all!
We got tired of living
What you wouldn’t call
Neither life nor living!

Two dots for a fellow and one for my soul;
Two, one after the other and the third in a row
That sometimes separates two types of worlds.

“- I am feeling a bit sad and disappointed; I must have felt that I was much more and much better than I really am!
- I understand, we all get to feel tired and crushed sometimes. Just don’t let anyone get to you! Many will try to hurt you. Just don’t let them do that again, that’s all!”

A penny for the poor,
Starvation for a fool
Trying to live a life
According to the rules
Of saints!
- You’re not a saint, you girl-dude!
And even if you were! What do you think it’ll serve you for?
We’re all above and helping each-other!
- While you all think it is better that way… the poor way!
- Than what? Our struggle?
- Oh, please! Give me a break! We do not struggle!

Are you much more of a man now?
Oh, pardon me, I was such a fool back then, to trust you
And to love you with all my ‘rotten’ soul!
This cold forgotten soul…

Are you much prouder than before?
Are you successful?
I know I know! I admired your entire carrier!

I should probably **** myself, just now
But I guess that I am too ******* proud
To do so.
Are you still proud of your soul and your wonderful goal?
I know that I am of mine!
I should probably commit suicide.
But not until I get less ashamed with who and what I am;

~ I Mean the loser someone planned to make of me and got to make me be ! ~

Much too carefully!
Much too shamefully!

Oh, my!
The Freak-in’ Carbonite kicked in!
I must get it out on the screen!

After that I’ll try to organize those showers for the angels;
Propeller pins and cosy sins
Already happening
…
why bother?
It’s on them!

Brutally honest with myself:
I find my old journals a bunch of idiotic steam material.
God, I hate myself for not being… stronger!

Yet I must confess:
I love myself more than anything in the world!

“I’ll be the spit in your face if I have to!
she yelled back at him
You traitor!
You must be joking now, dear!
a choir they join both saying:
- Aurevoir, dear!



I prostrate myself
In front of your greatness,
Too grateful for the little I got to accomplish
And give thanks to the Greatest of Lords!
.
“Are you much more of a man now, that you killed them all?”



A missing point that was completely unknown
To the public
Got out meeting people and feeling them all
Just like a believer.

“I need you and I want to be needed too!
I Miss You!"

A moon and a missing point looking for sun-warmth and half a cup of solitude.

Forgiveness comes in easy steps when all your life was beautiful;
It's easy to forgive someone for wrong doing to others.
In easy ways you seem to care for nobody just like they cared,
It's easy.
Forgiveness comes in various ways, just keep noticing troubles.

Upset, the saints still think of days they know as right for human kind,
Enlightened, saved, after the fight for justice they find peace.
What kind of a saint you are?
I ask, what kind of a human?
Animal?
Complete, all saints know what is right or wrong for everybody.

It's easy to surrender to easy ways and easy times,
It's nonsense to fight for your reasons.
When dreams all collide forming a star,
The one I was forced to understand as once human
Becomes happier.

Forgiveness, coming in ways sometimes mysterious,
it's not the whole world knowing that I have to die
For you to be merrier.

Forgiveness: It's easy to forgive when you don't have to go back to your torments!

How to find my peace
When nothing fulfills me?
When the genuine severe my grave
And I am the genuine severing yours?
In all earnestness my heart recovers grace,
In solemn silence finding petulance,
Sulky, old smiles alternating.

Above you are, claiming your souls,
Your need is to conquer.
Cry of pride, anger and sorrow,
A strong spirit, stern, calm remains.

You're forgiven, my child,
You aren't among restless souls.
Called you are to curse back if cursed.
One day, maybe I'll learn,
I had to, for the sake of my soul.

Playful net, a miracle made,
Desperate chords expressing live feelings.
All those who have once felt the same feel;
My God, rest their souls, still forgiving.
A heart strong, in hell, no more living.

Light
Burning bright
Tears shining
From within

Love
What have you done?
Picking up fun,
Enjoy your laughter.

Trains
Oh dearest
Why would you attack me?
Enjoying your sorrows?
Good,
You're probably not wrong.

When everything you do is a mistake
You know it's over,
Where is my heart now, my soul,
I said I sold it but now I know what a great liar I am,
Running for salvation, looking for a way out of hell.

Where is my love-life?
I probably imagined everything that was,
Everything that is,
I watch you grow and live,
Running for salvation when put down by your pride.

Decision desperate to reach heavens,
I was told that one must first go through hell.
Well, where do you think I was?
I watched you live the extraordinary
Imagining myself there.

Where is my friend now?
I hope not lost, they needed a good life just like I do,
I watch you grow wiser and wiser every day,
And I can't have enough of it,
Running for salvation, she was right,
I must be looking for the light.

I won't be loved, I know that,
They always knew best, I'm sorry for all of your tears,
I tried to be a good human but this love of yours,
Much stronger than anybody else's hurts.

I won't be loved, he said, I know,
I made a terrible mistake with her!
I won't be cared for with a kind heart,
Only her duty can save me from this trap.

"What about a miracle? Someone sweet?"
The joyful party on the hall of the hospital
Offered to the kids in the salon, time sweet,
The clowns and elves dance, a flight super-vital.

Dopamine, dopamine,
serotonin levels high,
need satisfied,
Drug of happiness,
that's what you need!
Love is all around,
passionate dark love,
It ruffles feathers
and tells of the soul,
dopamine flying around
can you believe it? - hmm.

Funny hell, under the spotlights explained,
Painfully cruel, well built,
exposing the gravity of your wrong doing.
When time comes, please, tell me,
do show me how proud you are of yourself!
Hell, funny as it should be for the devil.
She once spoke of the devil being a god,
Doesn’t god mean everything?
Inspiration, sweetest love on earth and beyond,
Isn’t everyone the same here? Lovely
You fight for a right, yours.
Claimed! Right now and forever, claimed
My right to fight and stronger, reach happiness.

Sharing moments,
Sharing sweets,
Sharing laughter,
Sharing tears.

Share your light
And share your Shadows,

Give some resting time to hollows
That are sleepy right away
Giving you recourse to clay,
New illusion for your beliefs
In some cool, pathetic breeze
of the ocean that you freeze
In your mind to rest remarks
Made on peaks, high, of a rock.

Give some sleepy clay remark
On a cliff's recourse to rock
New illusions cool and hollow
Resting times on breeze to follow

Ocean's cool esthetic sleeps,
Frozen image of a breeze.

Share your shadows and your lights,
Share some moments, sweet and fun,
Share those tears in forms of life
On these moons,
Too clear, make shine!

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

We live under the same blue sky,
same Moon, same stars, the same stories-telling clouds,
Why won't we live in peace and harmony?
Why **** and try to make of someone something else
When what we do is nothing wrong but different?
We live under the same blue sky
still ****** happens, all the time.
The child, naive, is wondering.
The man, the woman know and laugh and cry.

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

A picture hanging on the wall, a desk and two black curtains
falling down to the floor;
The full moon hides behind rainbow clouds,
stories of that yesterdays' sun
written
metal sounds
and two drops of heavy dew.

... Sighs ...

I was circling your thoughts,
they were mine
to wonder about
and make them shine
all the way
through the spirals of our times.

... wishful sighs ...

A picture hanging on the wall, a flower on the desk,
two black curtains falling down
and up the full moon staring...
An almost hidden by rainbow clouds
love for that yesterdays' sun...

The two drops of heavy dew
are reflecting into the floor.

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

Untitled Sun
No title, no rope
Just a lie full of hope!
No phantoms, no touches
Only faint little torches.

Eternal existence
We'd like to achieve
But Sun 's going down
Dark blue with our dream.

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

So I said: Her eyes were pure,
Her Soul: Too cruel
To let you cry.

Left your home for something better in return...
Yet she is the only one to know
About that soul,
Alone.
Fought for what's to fight for!
Life!
Found her way with no full understanding of the price to pay.
Still some questions left
Behind.
Still thoughts linger in my mind!
Relief ...can't find a spoken answer
to all that!

So, you see: Here eyes are pure
Yet still that soul too cruel
to let me cry...
Until all illness died.

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

Chances were taken and broken were fears,
Superstitions mistaken for Bitter-Sweet tears;
Friends and illusions, well known entities
Locked once and forever in frames of a breeze.
Love taken away, mistrust and shy feels,
Perspectives on all our spiritual peers.

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

Creating a god inside me was the perfect start for this battle of the sad spurred sands.

"- Here I am, on Blasphemy Lane where everything's dead."
[They killed it]

Fill the void inside me
With Love and Meaning,
Brilliant Sun travelling
Through space and time,
enlightening the blackest Sea;
This darkness in which we dive seems so empty!
                     ~ Rotation ~
"We're spinning around on our own selves to face a dead god."
[They closed it in]

He learned we're in need for some warmth then started looking for it in every galaxy.

"- This hell is cold..."

"- Do you remember the time you swallowed the serpents of Medusa? What did they say to you? Could you hear their screams while burning down your throat? Did you spread their ashes throughout the sands of your hourglass?..."
[You took in the stars]

"...- There is your boat!"

"- I don't know! I'm too cold."

Do fill the void inside me
With Your Love and Meaning,
Brilliant Sun travelling
Through our space and time,...
enlightening this Black Sea;
The darkness in which we dive looks ... so empty!
                    ~ Rotation ~

"I need to burn like a torch and guide you through this cold night."

They gave us a warm thought and left this cold.
"-Now I can remember:
A kiss in the name of God!"

From: The Hour of the Blue Man by Theodora Oniceanu
© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

Already down I am, under a trap
so well prepared,
The vines of my existence contort
constricting your body and soul.

It hurts to see you hurt like this,
it was all just a lie, we’re confessing our torments.

Already down under your great curtain of spite,
It hurts to see how much you cared not,
Still, you forced me into this and I said: “alright...
I’ll do this...”

Now I regret loving you in any way
Already down, under your murderous tears
I can comprehend and I am with you, oh,
poor deceived soul!
As if I ever meant anything to you!

But another try, another gal’ to hurt.
Already down under the cover of skies
you somehow won.
I’m reading and learning about your ways,
regretful acts of ******,
Hatred and spite.

If I am still wondering why all that
then I am a fool!
“It was for your great palaces, you great fools,
kings and lovers!”

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

Light was wandering on the hill,
A promise I seal...
We can see a road and the tree
Through a filter made of tears
And I don’t agree
with us touching the spring of our fears.

Feel the acid in your throat,
the chemistry of your burning thought;
You are close to my soul without being near at all!


Three cigarettes and a bowl,
She eats her salad, ... very slow
a movement.
Scents promised to the air
telltale.
The hills are green
but wear the skin
of Gold;
The copper light is wandering on
the site.
She thought of mountains
blue and strong,
of high bright skies
with a trace of foam,
she heard the whisper of that morning’s Sun
when she left home.

Last night was cold...
When home, she felt
his spirit move around:”
“... release of a sound...
- not sold! -
She felt inspired and at peace
with everything within her being...
“And all was love and love was all they need”

The door shut loud!

Observing the autumn trees in the middle of spring,...
I am touching the bud of eternity!

“-Come back! You’re mine!”
he screamed.

The darkness’s swallowing his being,
she brings her light to him...
He touches the Spring: “-What am I seeing?!”
She felt they’re doomed,
“The bud of eternity has bloomed!”

Carrying the vision of a young man in her heart
And his lightning beam.

“-Come here! You’re mine!”
she dared.

The darkness of those days was about to end,
His bright light inspiring her being...
She took it in!

“Hold on, hold it in!”


My brain catches the beams of light;
That power inside
shows through the veil
I hide behind my sight.
An echo I seal;
I have become so un-Real!”

“I watch the arrows made of coal
“I have a goal!”
Before I know I am dissecting my soul.

I step aside,
The door has opened wide!
“-Pictures and words, put on a wall
to be shot at then left alone”
Lone.

*
The table holds an ashtray on,
two pencils and a bowl;
She ate her salad, ... very slow
a thought …
Three cigarettes were smoking on,
in the middle of the ashtray
right next to the door.

A last call: ...
‘-Hold on!

“Hold It On!”

Light was wandering on...”

From: Theodora Oniceanu. “Time Files”. PersonAll.

On the Alley of Sin, we spin,
Trying to get back to that Holy Being
we need!

“They are debating my soul”
“-You are losing your time with them”
“-Please, step into my world!”

He gives me a kiss...
I put the world into my pocket and walked away...
A kiss in the name of the Father.

You are drowning in acid tears for me
But I don’t seem to care,
You are diving into the bitter darkness; I’m seeing this in a past
cup of coffee...
You are drinking it!
I am smelling it!

You were drawing us to the forbidden land
But someone gave me a hand;
I’m suddenly crying for all that you lost,
my friend.
~
Taking a pause!
“- Resting your cause!”
I am going down with a high spirit and see
People walking in slow motion...
their steps are telling me
a story...
“Have patience, you’ll be...!”
Advice for the silent he gives.

*
Alone in this copper house,
I’m getting the bits of your shattered lights.
“I am not alone, and have never actually been!”
Love is in my mind now, and your mind in my heart,
My soul is somewhere in my memory...
and memory’s greatness shall hide in for me!
Then I will light a candle in the living memory of whom you ”

used to be.

“- Yes, my Holy Being! It is you my Pain Killer! I shall take you in!”

From: Teodora Oniceanu. “Time Files"PersonAll”.