Gobble me down
Gobble me down
Grap your lips around
All of me

Gobble me down
Gobble me down
Until I am bound
For eternity

Gobble me down
Gobble me down
Please let me drown
While you chew

Gobble me down
Gobble me down
Let me be found
Inside of you

When I trip
I feel like I’m falling
Up into the sky
When I leap
I feel like I’m stuck
Down in the ground

Tires rolling on the road
Windows down, feel the flow
Just kick back and take it slow
Returning to the simplistic

Hands now gliding on the breeze
Rising and diving with ease
Like a dolphin through the sea
Back to simplistic

Anywhere that breeze blows
I will also dare to go
Anywhere that breeze blows
I wanna kiss it!
I don't want to miss it!

Cause' I wanna vibe with the divine
Have my marrow and essence entwined
Into substance translucently sublime
Back to simplistic

Anywhere that breeze blows
I will also dare to go
Anywhere that breeze blows
I wanna kiss it!
I don't want to miss it!

Cause' I wanna vibe with the divine
Have my marrow and essence entwined
Into substance translucently sublime
Back to simplistic

I have this voice inside my head
That talks and talks and talks
No matter what is done or said
It never ever stops
This little voice inside my head
That masquerades as thoughts
It prattles on relentlessly
With all that I am not
Not nice, not kind, not good enough
Not anything at all
Except the things that it sings
To keep me feeling small

I am a Tardis
Going through some hardships
Waiting on my doctor
To come and fly me proper

I may look just like phone booth
Which isn't quite the whole truth
For i'm bigger on the inside
Where real and imagined collide.

I glide through time and space
The whole universe to embrace
If only someone knew
Where to rendezvous.

Romance for me is about moments of connection
to feel something larger than myself
To witness the cosmos in and from the eyes of another
To be vulnerable, raw, wild, honest, open, books of discovery
Moments that make me feel deep and lush
Hypnotic. A whispered word. A brush of skin. Shared desires.
Late nights. Moon light. Inside jokes. Thoughtful words.
Laughter. Fireworks. Fireflies. Campfires. Rainy days in.
Pillow fights. Pranks. Trust. Live music. Cold beer.
Carnivals. Confidence. Honesty. Legos. Little round ice cubes.
Sledding. Gingersnaps. Aggressive Sports. Motorcycles.
Clean lines. The horizon. Walks. Avocados. Wine. Bare feet.
Morbidity. Sarcasm. Wit. Presence. Midnight. Open arms.
Yellow Curry. Coloring. Puzzles. Abandoned Places.
White chocolate. Fruit jellies from Germany. Motown. Violins.
Art Nouveau. Intimacy. Decorum. Curiosity. Metallurgy.
Alchemy. A well told story. Absurdity. Whimsy. Shade. Shadows.
Things that are slightly off. Heavy blankets. Bubbles. Silhouettes.
Glitter. Smirks. Poise. Grace. The melody in a laugh.
The blush of cheeks. The thought in a touch. Poise. Grace.
Night time insect and frog lullabies. Autumn Forests.
The way a hummingbirds and dragonflies fly. Outtakes. Freckles.
Tickles. Rain. Fog. Strangers. Dancing. Finger foods.
Warm apple cider. Open windows.  Wood wind chimes.
Squishing my toes in dirt. The moment a smile begins.
Mood lighting. Candles. String lights. Sherbert. Snuggles.
Warming my **** by a fire and sitting down fast. Treasure.
Lightning. Beethoven. *******. Challenges. Delayed Gratification.
Desired anticipation. Seduction. The wind. Cedar chests. Calliopes.
Austria. Vistas. Fingertips. Dangling my feet. Whispers. Spirals.

The intangible danceable
Felt but not seen
Frolicking on the edge
Of spaces in between

Peek-a-boo shadows
Spider-web touches
Goosebumped skin
Rosy red blushes

Whispers on wind
Soul unconfined
The curve of the smile
Fits the curve of my mind

A half told anecdote
Unnoticed excellence in the mundane
Quiet anticipation
Jolting epiphanies of keyframe

Emotional nutrients of xeno
Ecstatic shock and sonder
Ambedo and nodus tollens
Forever I wonder and wander

Flecks and specks
Round subjects
Everywhere dappled
Cheeks and peaks
Kissy techniques
Lavishly traveled
Everywhere splayed
Sun grappled bedazzled

Yearning for burning

A kind of returning

Unlearning learning

To fix my own kerning

Churning adjourning

My rebirth I'm earning

I'm never worth the time
It seems
To invest in, in any way

Unraveling seams
Silent screams
No matter how I splay

I fail to see
What you see in me
Based on words you choose

Unless of course
I'm your dead horse
Hanging from your noose

Dragged around
On the ground
Through the muck and mire

Gripping blight
Unseen plight
In shadows, I expire

Loveless love
minim shoves
Kept at arms length distance

What must I do
To get you to
Notice my decaying consistence

Actions and words
You infer
Splinters of remiss

What it shows
In my woes
I'm easy to dismiss

You're the next contestant
Of this game called body image
So tell us dear,
What's your personal scrimmage?

It all started with a noise
A not so silent rumble
Always asked if I was hungry
In reply, I'd just grumble

I did not know at the age of 12
Back in 7th grade
The rumble stopped all my growth
Regardless of how I prayed

Added to the chorus
Was the symphony of 'the runs'
Which really just meant
I'd need the bathroom tons

The next 5 years of school
Were often a bit tricky
But I finally made it through
Moving rather briskly

I worked happily for two years
Without much complaint
Until I dropped to my knees
From a pain that made me faint

Or at least I wish it had.
Crumpled on the floor
During a high end dinner
I knew i'd need a doctor

Poked and prodded
A litany of tests
Crohn's disease
Is what he did suggest

The next 9 years were hell
Side effects from 19 pills a day
Did nothing but make it worse
So I told my doc I won't play

I could not keep food down
I lost all of my teeth
Malabsorption for the win
What else lies beneath?

For years this went on
No matter time of day
Always making others comment
On how much I must weigh

Daintily touching my wrist
With looks of sympathetic envy
"I'd **** to be that skinny!"
Always sent me to a frenzy

Yes, yes, lucky me
I have an incurable disease
That makes me look as though
I was starved by the nazis

I say all this
Not to make you sad
It's just a story of how
Pain became my comrade

I am determined to a fault
It kept messing with my head
So I changed my perspective
And choose happiness instead

For as much pain I've suffered
There is also lots of growth
Patience, love, and compassion
Are now my solemn oath

My form may betray me
But it no longer has a hold
Once I learned to embraced it
My beauty did unfold

It's not about what's out
But rather what's inside
And once you realize this
You will find your stride

There sits an empty dresser drawer
once full but now it's not.
Everything that I love
has up and left that spot.
To see it now you sure would think
it's empty as can be.
And to you that might be true
but not so much for me.
It used to house my sons clothes
and treasures he would keep.
Like gems, coins, hot wheel cars,
and toys that whirl and beep.
But now he lives off with his dad
declaring that it's awesome.
While I sit here staring at
my empty drawer coffin.
Tempting me to climb on in
until my tears do cease.
Laying down in all it's not
May I rest in peace.

The neck
The knees
The ribs and thighs
Are all good spots, it's true
The hips
The pits
The feet and sides
Are also good ones too

Rarely do I ever get a moment to myself
Everything that I plan sits dusty on the shelf
Staring at me silently each and every day
Poignantly reminding me how much I need to play
One day maybe up ahead in a year or two
Nothing will take precedence over what I'd like to do
So instead I fill my time wearing different masks
Intently doing all the things that the family asks
Bodyguard, Janitor, Chef, Taxi, and Teacher
Indeed are just a very few of my lovely features
Leisure however seems to always elude me
Inconsequential to how ardently I plea
Tomorrow is a whole new day to try it all again
Yearning for those moments I can find my zen

My ever present
Companion
Searing me
Arcing through
My insides
Every day
A new burn
Skin graft patches
Healing
Inch by inch
Pulling me
Into myself
Hunched
Contorted
Askew
Once again
Sideways on the floor.
Cauterize me

******* chugs through my mind
Like a steam train pregnant with coal
Please let there be a bend
A turn, a curve up ahead
*******.... *******.... *******....
One track, one goal
Fuming out, straddling the sky
A giant smoky black serpent
Burying my reality in soot
FuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYou
Piston pumping momentum
Doubling with every breath
Until the train is a bullet
Breaking the sound barrier
Aimed at my chest for maximum impact
Hitting the anatomical muscle
I call the heart....
Perhaps now I can rest

I may not be the best friend
My presence is seasonal
I skinny dip in chaos time and time again
Coming out stronger. Sharper.
Tempered by my own humility

I may not be the best friend
I forget to call and check in
Knowing you’ll find me when you need me
For my hearts radar is always pinging
With possibility of real connection

I may not be the best friend
Social cues go largely unnoticed
Preferring my sidewise reality
To the ingrained cattle calls of
Lemmings marching ever on

I may not be the best friend
For shallow waters and empty hearts
Hiding behind strangling walls
You feel are your protection
Keeping you in, and life out

I may not be the best friend
For my warning label does not read
Fragile! Handle with care.
It simply declares in red bold letters
‘Bravery Required’

I got the call, it just came in
It's time to grab the gig again
Years I've waited, paced the floor
Now my *** is out the door
Among the darkness, we do flock
To piers, beaches, and old boat docks
We gaze in wonder at waters edge
For breath of air their lives are pledged
Eels, flounder, shrimp, and crab
Are all the things we get to grab
And place them in to buckets near
Then cook and eat them with a beer

Every time I blush
Turn red and gush
How the blood does rush
To show my royal flush

Cajoled corpus in consonant with
the ceaseless cardiac cadence
coaxing my cerebral cortex

Cochlea convolutions cause
camarilla cognitions of
cascading calescence

Corresponding combinations
cavorting like czardas
as my clavicle collar climbs

The impact of a loved one ripples outward
The wind has changed direction
The ripples are now waves
White capped knuckles of grief
Memories escape cradled in saline
Slipping out of the heart
Tear drop ripples echo back
            Plip
                      Plop
Adding to the turbulent beauty
A lifetime shared
A moment of forever
Time slows to weightlessness
Hanging on the cresting inhale of the heart

Sitting under the pecan tree
Relaxing in the shade
The breeze she came and played with me
Cavorting through the glade
Until the ants from firetown
Marched up my legs post haste
And made it to my midsection
To bite upon my waist!
Jump I did and slap myself
For what else can you do
When colonies of fireants
Are taking over you?

You want to burn bright
For all to see
Then lean right on in
And listen to me
For I’ll stoke and I’ll poke
I’ll dart all about
I’ll inspire desire
Make it come out
I’ll breathe guided breaths
All over your flame
Then all will know
You’re a flame they can’t tame

The black and the white, The left and the right
The right and the wrong, The short and the long
The happy and sad, The good and the bad
The up and the down, The smile and frown
The awake and the sleep, The shallow and deep
The common and rare, The covered and bare
The urban and rural, The single and plural
The hot and the cold, The meek and the bold
The wisdom and folly, The gosh and the golly
The break and the mend, The save and the spend
The few and the many, The dollar and penny
The adult and the child, The tame and the wild
The blame and the praise, The year and the days
The free and the caged, The joy and the rage
The dark and the light, The day and the night
The sea and the land, The instrument and band
The pleasure and pain, The sun and the rain
The poetry and prose, The con's and the pro's
The open and shut, The why and the what
The here and the there, The when and the where
The these and the those, The highs and the lows
The above and below, The ebb and the flow
The want and the need, The giving and greed
The public and private, The peace and the riot
The cruel and the kind, The heart and the mind
The expand and contract, The real and abstract
The empty and full, The push and the pull
The biased and fair, The hope and despair
The master and servant, The blind and observant
The even and the odd, The Devil and God
The bones and the skin, The without and within
The inhale and exhale, The try and the fail
The false and the true, The old and the new
The free and the bound, The lost and the found
The quiet and loud, The humble and proud
The rich and the poor, The less and the more
The found and the lost, The worth and the cost
The yin and the yang, The wax and the wane

Forever entwined
by grand designed,
not to unbind

Vein terrain
Screech disdain
Restrain
Regain
Retain
Remain sustained
Constrained
Butane pain
Obtained
Eminent domain

Pacify me

There once was a boy named Sam.
Who fell deeply in love with Pam.
He bought her a rose,
She sniffed it with her nose
Then popped it in her mouth with her hand.

She chewed it up real nice.
her eyes rolled around like dice.
"I feel very blessed
But I must confess,
The white ones have more spice."

True love is a tweasure
A chocolate covered walnut miracle
of as you wish

What's up with our government
telling us how time and money's spent.
I work longer than 9 to 5
just to try and stay alive
Slaving away with no perks
Killing myself with endless work
No funds for flash, no time to play.
Hittin' the bricks 12 hours a day.
It's hard not to feel this rage
with this out dated minimum wage.
How about you give a ****
How many need to throw a fit
Let's trade places for a bit
And you can take these ******' hits
1 trill spent on the war on drugs
Only to find you are the thugs.

To the top once percent
Laughing at our torment
You misrepresent, you reinvent
It's a break of trust
with fraudulent intent

The time is now
If I know how
To leap with all my might

Openly trust
Myself I must
Life's acolyte

Standing Steady
At the ready
To let go of this ground

Leaning in
Trust the wind
Absence of all sound

Eyes close tight
Fear I might
Plummet to my demise

Hold my breath
Brace for death
The Illusion does belie

Backward Rules
Make us fools
The answer's in the trick

Decend to rise
Counterclockwise
A new bailiwick

Clammer clammer
Fumble stammer
Once more to the fray

Tripping skipping
My mind is slipping
Slip slip-sliding away

Out my nose
Oh, There it goes!
Running away from me

Take a rest
Catch my breath
I thought it'd never leave

Now I'm great
As a dinner plate
Of serving sized crazy

Truths and dares
And pinkyswears
Huckle-berry daisies

Quiet now, settle down
there is a test to take
I look around with a frown
from a tummy ache

I know I need to use the loo
so I politely raise my hand
I wonder if she'll construe
my need without command

Look up she does, but ignores
my look of desperation
Returning to her desk drawers
adding to my frustration

I stretch my arm as high as I can
and begin to wave and bounce
She lifts her head, another scan
and cares not one ounce

***** this I think, I need to go
and that's just what I'll do
As I stand my bowels say WHOA!
and let loose right on cue

Leave I did, straight out the door
for now I must get clean
To the office I implored
to call mom for my hygiene

She arrived, straight away
with questions myriad
Once in the car she did survey
"You started your period!"

I hung my head, face all red
embarrassed through and through
I had to let her know instead
I shat my pantaloons

I love you
Exquisitely,
Desire you
Wantonly
And miss you
Utterly.
You fill my heart
So completely
There is little room
For anything else...

A few nights before Christmas, all family was down
With friends of their own from a way far off town

My sister and I were upstairs in the den
Hanging and chillin with my cousin's best friend

She fell asleep fast, laid out on the floor
So we got up and tiptoed out the porch door

We talked for a while about this and that
Then decided to return and also 'lay flat'

We spoke in hushed tones and he seemed rather eager
'Why not' I thought knowing first times can be meager

In fact it's quite perfect for in days he'll be gone
And all of this awkward wont linger for long

We were very quiet as things got quite heated
And in a few moments we'd both be depleted

But not before my sister sat up in her feelings
And sleepily said "I hate falling off of tall buildings"

She laid back down, having never opened her eyes
And continued to sleep straight through to sunrise

Years later we spoke of that night in my prime
To which she replied "I was awake the whole time"

That awkward I spoke of that was not meant to linger
It turned right around and gave me the finger

Only time will tell
The answers that you seek
Only time will tell
The secrets that you keep
Only time will tell
All that you can not
Only time will tell
Questions that were sought

Limpid Elastic
Bombtastic gymnastic

Keeping pants on
This potato shape

Suspenders need not apply

What you stand witness to in others
Is strengthened in them
By the power of your observation

Stoked like a fire
I am the fuel
Not the flame
I am the oxygen
That allows it to burn

Entwined around you
This is when you put me against the wall,
as if I'm a painting you've been dying to display

I had just settled in for a nice hot soak.
I slid into the bubbles and opened my coke.
when what to my wondering ears did I hear
but a small playful voice drawing near.

When around the door I saw him appear
I knew in a moment that it was my Dear.
Quickly he approached me only to say
The kids have poopies and need changed straight away.

He stood there smiling with his eyebrow raised
I laughed and sat completely unfazed.
The moments between us were quiet and tense
I was waiting to see what was his defense

It felt like forever but only seconds had passed
When I knew that I would have to get out of my bath
Slowly I stood, shivering and cold
Wanting to put him in a choke hold

I climbed the stairs, naked and wet
Knowing this night, I will never forget.
The morale of the story lies herein
Check on the kids before I begin.

My body
Was the battleground
Of hand-me-down emotions

Keep your distance
leave me alone
I don't care for you anymore

Harsh words are useless
my feelings are already numb
my tears hit the floor

Can't you see I don't need you
don't want you, don't love you
your eyesight must be poor.

Im begging you go away,
move on, don't call me names
I've already showed you to the door.

Don't you see?....
It's useless

She sits in a wooden chair in the study of her grandfathers master bedroom. Even at 19 her feet barely touch the emerald green carpet. She has always been small. Her growth halted at 12, reaching her final height by 7th grade. She curls her toes into the carpet. It feels soiled and stiff from dog *****. A testament to her grandpa not moving well enough to take the dog out. His room is the only room with a carpet because of this fact.

The house is quite. Everyone else went out to dinner, probably happier that she stayed home. Her defeated posture speaks volumes. She stares at little specks of dust dancing around on unseen currents but not really seeing anything. Her mind used to be her safe place but even that has turned against her.

"Why do you act like such a baby?" reverberates like a ripple through her. Words spoken at another time but still holding space within her, trapped in her cells. She sighs heavily. She knows the chorus is about to begin. Once it starts it builds on itself, trying to overtake her very essence.

"Why can't you be more like your sisters?" "We are all tired of seeing your sad face. If you can't smile and be happy then stay in your room." The momentum builds, the words begin to crescendo, joined by scoffs, eye rolls, and sighs that always make her feel like she is impossible to love.

With each sigh her stature shrinks, slowly pulling herself inward. Tears form and want to fall but she refuses. She has already cried too many. Crying is associated as weakness and for as sad as she is, she is just as determined. These two emotions she knows well. Over the last 7 years they have slowly coalesced into anger.

Anger and pain her constant companions. She is too young to understand why the anger has taken root and yet clings to it and wears it as a shield. It protects her but also does not allow the ghosts of the chorus out. She has often thought about suicide but her determined nature will not allow others to win.  And so she sits in a nesting doll of invisible cages that she feels but cannot see.

She is startled by voices. Her family returning, filling the house with chatter and laughter, and once again she disappears.

I look soft and sweet
but I'm tough as nails
It's not that I win
but know how to fail.

She is the zest
Of lemon skin
Her eyes are hopes
Eternal grin
Her voice is soft
Like a gentle wind
She is loves
Long lost twin
She is the why
The where and when
Chewing gum bubbles
Are her sin
She is the center
Of a wild spin
Dreams and magic
Are her kin
Sunbeams and stardust
End where the other begins
Infinitely swirling
Without and within

Hope she has and hope she gives
So that other may truly live.

A girl did often sit
bubbled in her wit
to keep her from his hands
and his darker plans
refusing to submit

Drunken nights he always tried
hunched over her bedside
she learned to just play dead
taking solace in her head
while her youth was crucified

In her bubble she did stay
never to go astray
too afraid to begin
awkward in her skin
no fresh air, just decay

Look at me
So carefree
Frolicking in the flowers

Skip around
On the ground
In the lushness of the bowers

Here we go
On tip toe
Dancing in the breeze

Arms out wide
Nature's bride
No better days than these

From day to dusk
I do lust
For your grand display

Orange and pinks
Days last wink
A vibrant color soiree

Then I sneak
To the creek
Splashing with delight

Mistress moon
I do swoon
In your beams of soft moonlight

The flesh of your words are gangrene
Sloughing at the tips
Their inflection an infection
Necrosis apocalypse
Swelling reds and gorging purples
Lack of bloods life flow
Putrid rotting letters
Thrombosis runs the show
Losing membrane integrity
Their fetid smell does waft
Forced fed through the senses
Until we subjugate
I can tell by the smell
Under the perfume
The only thing that they will do
Is lure us to our tombs
So keep your words and parlor tricks
I see them clear as day
Countless ways to contaminate
And weaken all your prey
It's time to tie the tourniquets
At the shoulders and the thighs
The time is now to amputate
This toxicology of lies