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You're the next contestant
Of this game called body image
So tell us dear,
What's your personal scrimmage?

It all started with a noise
A not so silent rumble
Always asked if I was hungry
In reply, I'd just grumble

I did not know at the age of 12
Back in 7th grade
The rumble stopped all my growth
Regardless of how I prayed

Added to the chorus
Was the symphony of 'the runs'
Which really just meant
I'd need the bathroom tons

The next 5 years of school
Were often a bit tricky
But I finally made it through
Moving rather briskly

I worked happily for two years
Without much complaint
Until I dropped to my knees
From a pain that made me faint

Or at least I wish it had.
Crumpled on the floor
During a high end dinner
I knew i'd need a doctor

Poked and prodded
A litany of tests
Crohn's disease
Is what he did suggest

The next 9 years were hell
Side effects from 19 pills a day
Did nothing but make it worse
So I told my doc I won't play

I could not keep food down
I lost all of my teeth
Malabsorption for the win
What else lies beneath?

For years this went on
No matter time of day
Always making others comment
On how much I must weigh

Daintily touching my wrist
With looks of sympathetic envy
"I'd **** to be that skinny!"
Always sent me to a frenzy

Yes, yes, lucky me
I have an incurable disease
That makes me look as though
I was starved by the nazis

I say all this
Not to make you sad
It's just a story of how
Pain became my comrade

I am determined to a fault
It kept messing with my head
So I changed my perspective
And choose happiness instead

For as much pain I've suffered
There is also lots of growth
Patience, love, and compassion
Are now my solemn oath

My form may betray me
But it no longer has a hold
Once I learned to embraced it
My beauty did unfold

It's not about what's out
But rather what's inside
And once you realize this
You will find your stride
Wednesday Mar 2014
Sometimes I keep my eyes open when we kiss
and you say it’s odd

I'm just trying to memorize the way the back of your eyelids look
until I can see deep shades of pink and blue in my sleep

A week ago you ate in front of me for the first time
And just yesterday you showed me the open hole in your stomach

It was only a picture of course
I have yet to see you fully unclothed and that is okay

I told the sadness I loved it again tonight
but it didn’t say it back this time

— The End —