i don’t know how to get ahold of you.
when you zone out and i see you’re not okay.
i wish that i can help you when your mind goes blank.
seems like your mind been racing a lot these days.

other days, i don’t know how to get ahold of you.
when i say “i love you”, but you don’t believe me.
feels like it causes you to double-think twice about me.
past life is in your current life, making you run from me.

tonight- i think we need to be more patient
tonight- i just want to be in your presence
tonight- coming to a realization
love can’t be this dangerous
this love can’t be this dangerous

this not good for you
this is not good for you
i can’t take your heart for granted
hope you understand where i stand and
this not good for you
this is not good for you
i can’t take your heart for granted
hope you understand where i stand on this

i don’t know how to get ahold of you.
i know i love you but i’m still afraid to open up to you.
i just feel so lost while trying not to hurt you.
thought i was ready to receive,
this prayer when i asked for a man like you.

tonight- i think we need to be more patient
tonight- i just want to be in your presence
tonight- coming to a realization
love can’t be this dangerous
this love can’t be this dangerous

this not good for you
this is not good for you
i can’t take your heart for granted
hope you understand where i stand and
this not good for you
this is not good for you
i can’t take your heart for granted
hope you understand where i stand on this

I’ve been all over your world
Tried to claim you as mine
Thoughts running time from time
Have me chasing all over you, baby don’t play
Ghosting friends , going MIA
Waiting on your text so I can swing that way
So love…, can I swing that way?
Cause it’s on…

Oh, it’s on now!?
Say less. Baby, in 10mins I’ll be there
Pretty face like you, Ms.Lady, I don’t share
You can be my sunshine or just a toxic trait
I’ll F*ck around and find out
Claim you as mine and only mine now
If you tie me down, then I’ll be down now
Can’t believe I still swing this way

There were some concerns
From your lies that burned
After you tried to make a fool of me.
Playing victim to your companions
Fake tears to your parents
To cover an act, that you were the one cheating, not me.
I caught you on your phone
Texting hearts & sending pics to a boy
In bed, acting like I wouldn’t see.
If you wanted to go
I told you to let me know
So that I leave your stupid ignorant a$$ peacefully ✌🏾

People realize
The real nature of your own kind
Taken by surprise,
Forced your friends to not mess with you anymore.
The damage that you caused, exposing people secrets
Acting like a creep
Makes you not trustworthy anymore.
Karma will arrive
Hurting you inside, just give it time
I think it’s time to settle the score.
Because the audacity of you
To think that this was cute
& act like a peasant
Shows I never needed you, so carry on👏🏾

Eye are delicious
Lips taste like candy
Tongue is juicy  
Voice is the recipe
Perfect smile
Body nutrition
“You know you fine”- type of demeanor
Attitude a smooth operator
I swear you a keeper

Baby you’re so fine
Help me read your signs
I can’t catch them all the time
As bad as I want to, take control showing me what to do?

the attitude upon on your face
intense pressure coming my way
lowkey, feeling it too

my heart, I know you want it
battling me on this court for it
trying to get me to see your point of view

maybe it’s the drive
maybe it’s the ambition
burning desire you showcasing within you

this is overwhelming
I see your affection
play against me, show what you can do

we should
compete a little
play a little
bet who wins against who
if you
score a little
defend a little
and win, my heart will belong to you
come play me

Pretty face, pretty times
Pretty was born with red signs.
Pretty taught me some really hard lessons
Pretty keeps trophies around for pretty reflection
When pretty lie, that’s pretty profession
Pretty turns defensive when perfection is questioned
Pretty will have you up at night second-guessing
Pretty was an ugly heart covered with pretty features

I am looking for validation,
To staying focus on the right path.
Or, at least, in the right direction.

I am reaching for your approval,
Some sign for your judgement.
Balancing out the principles & merit.

I am waiting on acceptance,
Love of belonging somewhere
Rather than out in the world.

....Then I realized ....

I no longer need validation
I no longer want to seek approval
I no longer wait for acceptance

Two good friends : JJ & B
both battling one-on-one.
A $100 bet on the line.
Who’s the better big man
on the court at the park?
Score is tied, 7-up, game point for either one.
Things get chippy down to the wire.
Trash talking, cussing,
elbows thrown, emotions high,
people commentating the sidelines.
“Game! Money time!”- is called after scoring the last bucket on JJ part.  

Until B refuses to pay.
From one man to another,
pride and ego is in the way, *** rushing the arena, causing havoc.
Brawl almost break out, one-time is called,
crowd scatters like roaches away from the sky lights as sirens flash below.
From one man to another,
lack of accountability was held from this bet.

FaceTime me every week, as the calls start to pile

play dumb like we weren’t a thing, you know that sh%t is really foul

told me you’ll never be submissive; Love, your mouth be running wild

posting couple & single memes together must really got you down

Oh a new person in your DM’s, someone new to get you riled up

random thoughts run through my mind, watching you chase after titles

can’t find anyone to commit, how’s love working for you now?

I just wanna slowly apply some pressure.
I knew you were special the second we started texting.
Give me a minute, I’m about to express my confessions.
Been waiting on you, to make a move, to make this move.
Cause you…cause you… you’re mine

You’re protected under my care when you’re with me.
You submit as much as you honor me respectfully.
And when you need quality time, just call me.
Im always here for you Ms. Lady.
Ready to be next to you, just you.

When you need me, baby I got you
Deep in these feelings, I’m so inspired
Share with me your thoughts and desires
I’m just so excited
Cause I’m ready to be next to you… Just you…


Now, I just wanna make things very clear baby.
I want this to be official and not a fling baby.
Cause I’m ready to receive this ring with some kids baby.
Gifts from me to you baby.

Cause I’m ready to be next to you…
Oh na na na, woah-oahhh.

Think I already said more than enough.
So let’s make this a reality and have some fun.
Baby I’m ready to fall in love
And show more of where this comes from
Happy to start this journey with you,
start this journey with you.

When you need me, baby I got you
Deep in these feelings, I’m so inspired
Share with me your thoughts and desires
I’m just so excited
Cause I’m ready to be next to you… Just you…

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
now she’s scared & flee....
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
She made things complicated & forced me to leave...
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
She has anxiety, overthinking, PTSD, thinks I’m like the other boys, she can’t fully breathe...
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
I message her good morning daily.
No response for a week....
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
Found out she’s a manipulator. Control freak. Disrespectful to anyone including her parents. So I leave...
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
She used me as backup until the person she loved was available again. Funny how I been deceived...

When will this cycle end?....

Sounds like, to me, you want to break up

But want me to do all the breaking

So it looks bad on me

While you low-key happily quietly leave

Where’s your faith for me?
Where’s all that energy transferring from you to me?
What ever happened to
“I believe in you Zay”
“Let’s go Zay”
“Praying for you Zay”...
It’s so funny how I can cheer you on in your darkest hour
When your light becomes dimmer & dimmer into the pitch black void
When your demons surround you in your bedroom attacking you in your dreams.

I can lead us in prayer & God, himself, gives us power to overcome obstacles together.

Yet, when I’m down
I receive a closed mouth full of sand & a mind of emptiness from you.

YOU WILL HEAR US 👂
YOU WILL SEE US👀
YOU WILL RESPECT US✊🏾
PERIOD.

How many more replicas will you continue to see,
In your lifetime,
Before you finally receive the original soulmate?

Say you loved me for me
Yet, I’m being deceived
Place my faith on false dreams
Then you play me & flee

I’m just tired of playing your games for sure
Froze my heart for sure
Took this “L” like a fool
Became a dog cause of you
Love, i don’t want you no more
Someone will replace you for sure

No more, no
No more, no

Oh I bet
You’re regretting it now
I know you wish
You treated me different now (2x)

Want me back as your boo
A toy to re-use
Desperate like a fool
Karma’s cruel now to you

But I’m just tired of playing your games for sure
Froze my heart for sure
Took this “L” like a fool
Became a dog cause of you
Love, I don’t want you no more
Someone will replace you for sure

No more, no
No more, no

Oh I bet
You’re regretting it now
I know you wish
You treated me different now (2x)

I wanna show you off & even brag
Cause you so forever, ever, ever fine looking like a snack
I wanna take you coast to coast
To Cali, watch the sunset in a beach house, kicking back in our robes
Drinking a box of wine bottles
Build a empire as we make a sand castle
Tomorrow we get married, as you loving on me
Create beautiful babies, & start growing an army
You will be my first, and always be my last
Mr. Thomas & Mrs. Thomas, ooh I bet you like that
I wanna show you off & even brag
Cause you so forever, ever, ever fine looking like a snack

I love when we walk to the park to get fresh air.
The sight of seeing multiple colors in the sky, during this sunset, makes your skin bright up.
We lay in the grass under a tree on your favorite blanket
Watching the sun sleep as the mood awaken.
As we enjoy each other’s company
You ask one simple question:
“what do you see in me?”
In that moment, if you stared into her eyes like I did, you can see through the window to her soul.
A Queen with benefits.
Her mind has creativity as she layout a blueprint of beauty.
A Mother who can carry all 4 of my children.
(Xavier jr., my first, maya is second, xiomara is next, & Dwayne my last)
Search deeper & the heart is made of gold
Protected under the laws of God himself.
Smiles of grace
Confidence through bravery
Never afraid of the inevitable.
Yet, she’s all I ever wanted.
Give me all of you in exchange for me because I want you around.

So what did I see in her?
Well.... I told her,
“My life”

You flew through me as I feel you coast on my skin
Letting the hairs on my arm stand as you send excitement through my body.
We touch
One body to another
Lips introduced
A tasteful kiss
Causing an immense impact
Feeling the connection
Collecting samples
Of one’s directions
Nerves activated
Excitement giving me goosebumps

Lay your head on my chest & rest.
In one ear
Hear the waves of my heart beating faster for you.
In the other ear
Listen to the elements of sound all around us singing.
Crickets are chirping
R&B music is bumping
All of this energy flows through a melody,
As our definitive love grows together through faith & clarity.

She took me serious,
When I included her children who wasn’t my own

She took me serious,
When judgement became irrelevant

She took me serious,
When she trusted me with internal/external wounds

She took me serious,
When clear communication expanded unconditionally

She took me serious,
When trauma or anxiety triggers became nonexistent

She took me serious,
When open conversations felt genuine

She took me serious,
When both bodies were respected

She took me serious,
When priority meant sacrifice willingly

She took me serious,
When God was involved

We still spend more time & money trying to build over broken cracks  
Rather than tear it all down & rebuild our foundation