"throughly" poems
half a cup of
a two toned muse
yeilds a quarter of
a sultry pair of cat eyes
& a tragic obsession
with princess serenity
stirred in with a dash of inconsistencies
and every teenage boys dream
under the heat of a mistress gaze
correcting grammar and errors
mixed in with your matching blacks,
& a quarter dozen
of féline decor
with shoes to complement
toss in a diamond ring
throughly wrapped around
your annulus finger &
indulge it with
strange behavior then
top it off with a silky whip
to accommodate
the quenching fluid of
a ******* *****
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 10:05 PM UTC
I don't know if I ever want to have my poems
immortalized in a book, to sit on some shelf untouched
a reminder printed on blank pages; my love, and my pain
organized into pretty poetic arrangements for other's viewing pleasure
for strangers to know me that intimately on a level I barely understand
I can't comprehend--
my love, and my pain, indeed
the love I have is beautiful, and worth sharing with the world
but I dont know if I could immortalize the pain it has caused me to love so throughly
so completely have I given myself over to everything
followed the winding paths through heartache and back;
I would much rather forget them here, forget the past
Sep 5, 2018
Sep 5, 2018 at 12:22 AM UTC
All I ever wanted left me,
So I took it all.
All my lovers betrayed me,
So I ruined thee.
All I've ever known was subjective,
So I really knew nothing.
All my advice was selfish,
So I grinned right throughly.
I'm a wonderful caricature,
of what it means to be human.
Clowned up, and distorted,
that is the vision of me.
But worry not, fair sweet.
I'll be here as you worry and rot.
And I will feed.
I am all six circles of hell,
I am every demon.
I am the lie in the truth,
That glints so eagerly,
In the soft blue eyes of mine,
That can almost... make you feel mine.
Almost, but just out of a trance,
nay nothing ever was, just a circle,
That has never closed, just a cycle that,
has no history, impotent, yet
all consuming, I can't find the truth,
So I'll live in the lies, and they shall be,
The ties that I bind,
myself and others, delicately,
deliciously enjoying the feast,
I provide, alone, in the dark,
talking to those who live,
far far away in here, so that in my hell,
I can reside as king, and feel in control,
or an owner of something.
Yet still I awake,
stilly, I create,
These little poems on my own,
That you'll read on your own.
And you'll think, something but,
It'll be gone abruptly, as if you almost held a star,
but it twinkled unlucky.
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 2:15 AM UTC
on top of the world
the veritable top
staring down at the others
climbing to the top of the stars
and call on nigel
who didn't believe in you
and call him his best pastry
burnt
a crispy blackened burn
not a heavenly, crackly, toasted burn
a burn that seeps to your core and throughly
blackens all other senses
cutting them off
leaving you with only a sense of deepening despair
as you consciously realize that
you've fallen up the stairs to the top
and are falling down
away from the stars
toward the mud
Feb 25, 2013
Feb 25, 2013 at 12:09 AM UTC
the look in your eyes,
it haunts me at times,
and the time you lied.
oh, that kills me every time,
and how I saw you from then on,
you **** me every time.
your laughter echoes, reverberates.
the sound is hypnotic, dizzying,
the sound kills me every time.
the haunting eyes that shatter my soul,
and stalk my heart when I close my eyes.
the eyes of the only person,
who could hurt me as deep,
who could literally **** me,
inside and out, rip me apart.
you know who you are.
and you know what you caused,
because you’ve done it a million times,
it’s what you do, it’s what you’ve done,
it’s how you break our hearts.
it’s how the pain stays,
and how the light fades,
from our eyes as you say goodbye…
that last final time.
and we never want to see your face again,
because the act of perfidiousness,
stung so deep, and throughly,
we never forget.
we are sagacious, now.
your eyes tought us the lesson.
we will never trust in eyes,
what should be felt with hearts,
and we will be skeptical,
once again, of the truth.
you brought us pain, agony.
now, your eyes are forgotten,
and our eyes are open.
and we are healing.
we are seeing with new eyes,
the world of possibility.
and we are awaiting the chance,
to live life again, as ourselves.
we are ready to let the walls down.
we are ready to survive,
we are ready to love again.
but, we do it cautiously,
because when we hear a line,
we see your eyes in our mind,
and we remember the time you said the same.
we laugh and say no thanks,
because your eyes are in our mind.
goodbye to the tear stained memories.
now they can be archived as
lessons that we learned.
and we can look into the eyes of our true love one day.
and we will see,
that you lead us here.
now.
goodbyes, can be healthy.
xoxo
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013 at 6:01 PM UTC
"I thought you might enjoy this dvd about St. Francis," said Emily Scott, glancing curiously about the living room which looked like it had come out of "Better Homes and Gardens". However did the Detweilers not only manage to keep everything immaculate,but afford such extravagant furniture? Which is why it would prove enlightening to know what she thought of St. Francis.
A week later she called Regina Detweiler on the phone. " Well, how was the dvd? Did you like it?"
"Oh, it was awesome... my husband and I throughly enjoyed it."
"You mean... you agree with his philosophies?"
"Philosophies? Hmmm. Oh, that! Well, he-uh- lived a long time ago."
Jun 13, 2013
Jun 13, 2013 at 2:55 PM UTC
I'm a size 14
European
I don't know what that is
in American
it's not a zero I think..
It's probably a cross between
overly skinny
bordering on chunky
not fit to be seen
in tank top and shorts
but when it's hot, it's hot
I'm not attractive
but cool
but I'm not lean
too many temptations
too many treats
I've never walked a mile
in another's shoes
I've never made it
to the end of the street
because my three children
throughly used me
abused my body
and then abruptly left me
I'm not so undesirous
that their Father turned away
In fact, to him
I'm curvelicious
and I don't even care
if that's a word
or not
I'm a big girl
I'm healthy
I'm loved
by a lot more people
than the anorexic girl
who snarled at me
when she wanted my man
but he was happy to stay
with the body that loved him
night and day
Sep 15, 2013
Sep 15, 2013 at 4:57 AM UTC
Is it just me, or do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and pull at pieces of skin you wish weren’t there? do you claw at the marked up places, or beat the aching bones? do you ever just look at someone else, and take in their completion, wishing that you were them, facing a mirror? dozens of loose ends, and with a curvy smile, you're forced to tell yourself you're willing to wait for a confidence more valuable than any tear shed. why are we expected to work 100x harder than them? I know no one is the same, but what determines how were different? why do I always want something I don’t have, and push away everything I do? who in this world even came up with the definition of beauty? as if life is only permissible to those who have things figured out throughly. truly that’s just unfair to make someone who’s flaws aren’t accepted, follow a path that is redirected in a circle that is infected with a never ending journey of hatred towards themselves. collecting baggage from the world that sticks like dust on the highest shelf of a book case filled with books of truth, rarely read. all they ever had to do was open one up and realize that to their surprise they are more than what they’ve been memorized with all these years. they're somethings beyond the humans eyes of beauty, and all it really took to see that was a key to a loose lock. just one knock will do. open the door, and find out more of your true self. find out the truth about the remarkable beauty you hold within.
(j.a.r.)
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 9:47 PM UTC
i am a tiny spec living on a tiny spec, when you look at the big picture
my life will go by in the blink of an eye, metaphorically speaking
so why does it matter what i choose to do with my time?
so what, if i waste it
so what, if i use it
so what, if i produce another tiny spec to go on in my place
what does any of it matter when i am already so insignificant?
it's funny when you really find your purpose
or even if you think you have
i've gone through my life in many different ways
the only way that throughly makes me happy is being in love
love is everything
love is a tiny spec connecting with another tiny spec
love is special
love is the reason i wake up in the morning
love is big
love gives being tiny substance
love makes even the most insignificant moment of sitting on a bench with our fingers intertwined one of the greatest moments of my tiny existence
thank you universe, thank you earth, thank you gravity for holding me to this rock, thank you stars, thank you insignificance, thank you circumstance and thank you love...
the beatles said "love is all you need"
this tiny spec agrees
Sep 26, 2010
Sep 26, 2010 at 9:59 PM UTC
A deep attraction . .the one that is followed by seduction..The strong affection, a beam that awakened my soul. My senses silently exploded, and a deep sensuality reigned . Your **** manly figure, turned my world around. I felt I couldn't be nowhere ...without you
.....By myself ..
Only you could light me on.. That strong attraction and longed seduction, ignited my soul. Not getting enough of you , I seemed to exhaust insatiable love.....then I drove myself "framed ", and begged you to arrest me. I was lost seeking your heart , a place you led me to dig deep..and you touched me and oh.. so hard , pushed me in so right ..that I resided there, as a type of breed that swallowed your concentration in ... Now. ..
I'm addicted to you.
An insatiable thirst for you blinds my thoughts .
And it is you and only you ..
Your pure heart and sporadic lovely company ...from which I cry for more . Your fun way to be yourself : nice personality and transparency ..addicts me to yourself.
I get thirsty for you
I give you a strong touch
Grab me towards you
I want to feel your skin
Kiss your lips throughly
All your corners ....
Explore your oceans and hidden corals ..
Followone your smell , whIle you take me there ......
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 4:26 AM UTC
I never knew how it felt,
Until I was home alone,
Once there was disaster,
My parents did allow me again to stay home alone,
But I persuaded them,
To leave me alone,
Now here I am,
Home alone,
And enjoying it,
Throughly,
Before someone come's and ruins it.
Mar 11, 2012
Mar 11, 2012 at 2:05 PM UTC
Every song reminds me of you
A specific soundtrack of each time you've made me smile
The times we just laid and talked about nothing
separate lines of the phone
One side of the bed or the floor
Every song reminds me of you
I've listened to other genres only to find that the feeling still resonates
Wondering the what if of any moment
That sudden impact that strikes when the song breaks down
The need to hold on tighter
Wondering that If at any moment you'd actually pick up the phone and call
Pretending to ignore the melody that makes my head nod
The foot taps that echo hearts delight
The comfort of being at ease
My heart being heard through the speakers
Every song reminds me of you
Every chorus a simple reminder of the times shared between you and I
The melody my heart sings only around you
The addiction of throughly repeated songs
Fighting the urge to press the skip button knowing the next song only does the same thing
Bring back that irreplaceable ache that pains only to be near
The you tube of the minds eye, the Google play of the heart
Resonating each and every memory
Each and every time I fell deeper in love with a song that reminded me of you
Trying to replace that feeling of comfort that jolted soon as the song would start
Now days every song reminds me of you
Old new between
A different sample eclipsing times spent with you
Different artists, different melodies
They all remind me of you
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 11:52 AM UTC
Consciously curating the thoughts that stream through
offering a space in mind , working the mind
not just a block of damp cheese soaking up the leftover gruel but a fine fine piece of raw chocolate sweetened a tad by maple syrup and dotted with raspberries
that's me allright.
No matter the folly
It's time to rise and shine
Self consciousness really doesn't suit me
I know I got a few bruises but and I'd rather be amused than some kind of fanatic muse to a ***** artist any day
Humor is the hotline to Unconditioned Love Centers .
Snapping and projecting at other people is really lame self-defense because i'm picking fights with these tactics,
exaggerating anthills with this mindset
and digging graves using two left shoes with this clouded vision
from which
ultimately
I'll have to climb out of
because I'm not dead and no one was attacking me in the first place.
Why is it so difficult to be honest with myself when I'm faced with an error in my judgement or an unhealthy way of life is beguiling me to stay on tap?
Ignorance of Inner life, Inner worlds and Inner vision.
Got me trippin at ego's palace , high on self-pity
Drunk and dizzy on sickly sweet aggression.
It's a scandal that these spaces of inner lands are vastly ignored as children and youth, blindly wondering the world confused
with a rhythm that is skewed
because I know more about the gossip of the evening news
when really, this is where the treasure is, this is
where the wisdom rests
this is where the magic lives!
All inside my beating chest, burrowed back beneath my eyes
somewhere where the 5 senses would be throughly surprised
accessed through quiet stillness or ecstatic joy
known to many as chills along the spine or the tingles of goose bump whispers
access to dimensions unfathomed
all waiting
for the space to become
realized , actualized and known.
I've realized, i'm a seasoned traveller through these Inner pathways and I've been holding myself back for fear I'm not beautiful enough
but
You know, if I hang around and wait for all you lot to catch up or for myself to suddenly be "like everyone else"
I'll never make it back with the goods in time
because
there is something more fun than enjoying depression
it's called not enjoying depression!
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 9:17 AM UTC
my brain is a garden in the fall
cold and dry and lifeless
bright prospects, once blossoming are long wilted over now,
throughly stomped by thick-soled boots
and discolor sets in.
filled with the fallen, it has been throughly raked apart, spread across the front lawn and scratched into lumps. they’re run over and jumped on and i just feel twinges in them now
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 28, 2013 at 9:00 PM UTC
hurt and agony,
this torment i feel inside,
will it diminished?
i can’t bear it anymore,
its consuming me slowly.
in every field,
every latitude -,
of my heart; pounding,
wondering and patiently,
waiting for you to come home.
be extra cautious,
i rifled very throughly,
for information,
that might help me bring you back,
safely and sound from the war.
Nov 30, 2012
Nov 30, 2012 at 5:17 AM UTC
Stuck between joy and rage…
What's more of there to say?
Free fall with that sputtering sound
return to the place so thickly bound.
Where weapons of words strictly slice
a frigid sort to roll the dice.
Clashing, clashing always clashing
an argument still throughly thrashing.
It's a consort to delirium
silly little thoughts that hum…
Jan 24, 2017
Jan 24, 2017 at 12:33 AM UTC
Ashes bleeding from the inner chambers of her heart
shocked by his actions laughing at her marriage
arranged by his mother was a plan fora grandchild
Cadmus did not want any child even of his own.
He thought each one of them were a bunch of noisy
pests.
His heart was in fleeing this marriage he been trapped
in by his mother.
Cadmus had to stay married for a year then divorce his wife.
He planned on doing that very thing.
A marriage contract was in place warning if he wanted out after
the first year of marriage.
He would be left with nothing and no place to live.
His mother had done this when he was but a child in Baharian.
His uncle also made sure it was completely legal for his mother to
receive her dowry at her marriage to cadmus father.
A year went by Hans went up stairs to start packing his things.
His mother handed him the contract which he throughly read.
His face was furious to be put in that kind of trap.
He sat down to plan how he could continue to live this way and have money too.
I will go to work for my uncle and learn the publishing business.
Cadmus went through the steps of the business and became very good at it.
Five years later he made his own fortune and then divorced his wife.
She was better off with out him. He liked the blonde haired blue eyed woman
. He did meet one but he out and out lied to her of his love for her. All he wanted from her was trash stories. One morning she was looking at all the emails over the years from him.
Blue eyes was done with him. He was never coming to be with her in
any life time.
She totally deleted him from out of her life.
Two years later she was waiting for a cab to go to the airport.
Blue eyes had written and published her first book.
When she got on the plane there he looked twenty years older. Blue eyes just walked right past him with no notice,
When the plane landed in New York blue eyes got her things walked past him again into the airport.She bent to pick up her luggage and thats when he saw her for the first time in person. Cadmus this time
was the one left being alone. Blue eyes looked up just in time to see her husband and daughter while giving them each a hug full of love.
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 7:10 AM UTC
Be careful little mouse
you are dancing with fire.
I have you under my magnifying glass
I decide weather you burn,
so I’d hold my tongue if I were you
your tricks have a way of making me tick
trick
trick
tock
though there will be no warning
when your your life catches a flame
I will watch you squeal and squirm
with a grin upon my face.
so please think throughly about your words
and put them up and zip them away
if you’d rather not pay the price for your words upon this day.
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020 at 3:34 PM UTC
it doesn’t feel right
to write about you
i am sorry
i love you
a little
(i left my heart under your doormat)
(please don’t ever check)
i am sorry
for all of this
even though you probably didn’t know
(you might have)
i hope you never read any of this
i can’t get you out of my head
and you’ve throughly clogged my arteries
i am so sorry
i’ll be okay
i hope you are
i hope we both are okay
in the end
in the middle
in the now.
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 10:43 PM UTC
Black as coal
Darker than a moonless night sans stars
As blind to sight as a blizzard to a
snowflake
is this mystery
drawn
compelled
inexplicable
Yet with sooooooooooooooo many black holes one has to wonder
How ever does this universe exist?
Einstein would have thot it child's play
"Simple you bafoons,
One creates the chaotic world they exist in
and
the other is throughly entrenched in the theory of a chaotic universe —
so no matter the
head banging
there is a river running thru
and rivers of l o v e
are rare
And when found
run
d
E
E
p
p
e
r
than imagining.
Flowing strong
from time immemorial till time ceases to exist.
But rivers
Be they crashing as white water over hidden boulders
or pooled
black as night
masquerading as swimming holes
never,never,never run clear and bubbling
Like brooks strayed from streams.
rivers are a. L. I. V. E
In constant f, l, u,x
Always flowing
Ever moving.
So why are you surprised to witness this miracle? E=MC2 "
[Silly, expecting constancy when change is the only constant to be true]
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 3:39 PM UTC
Dear Shruti, wish you a very Happy New Year
On your side will I be, forever
God could not have given me a better friend
You are so very kind
Though strict at times
All in all, however, always do I enjoy our chats!
Dear Shruti, wish you a very Happy New Year
Often, can I be a bore
However, deeply do I care for you always
Many a time, do you help me find inner peace!!
Dear Shruti, wish you a very Happy New Year
With me, so many things do you share
Forever, will I take your secrets to the grave
A throughly beautiful relationship, do we have!!
Dear Shruti, wish you a very Happy New Year
You judge me never
Even after having seen me at my worst
For sure, will I do my best
To ensure you have a constant smile on your beautiful face
Every single test of life, I am sure you will ace!!
Dear Shruti, wish you a very Happy New Year
For me, 2024 was not an easy year
But you ensured there was a lot for me to smile about
Thanks to your constant support and encouragement
In the form of calls and voice notes
As well as sharing numerous pictures and videos!!
Dear Shruti, wish you a very Happy New Year
May 2025 be a glorious year
May all your hard work pay off handsomely
May you and your family forever be happy
May the Lord satisfy all your deepest desires
May you have a year nearly free of stress
And may we meet again soon, you wonderful human being
Till then, please do keep smiling
Love you loads, have fun and take care
And again, wishing you a very Happy New Year!!
Jan 5, 2025
Jan 5, 2025 at 12:06 PM UTC
1/16/2016
The days drag themselves
succinct, akimbo-
spitting out the day in spurts and
steadily vomiting the night.
I am never afraid of death in the winter.
And so when I sit in bed
and out of the corner of my eye I see
it- death has always been a sort of
white rabbit, I once felt I was one
crushed in a young girls' hands,
having to carry that burden for the rest of her life
I don't want to say that
I missed innocence, in fact,
I want the pleasure of losing it again (Fitzgerald)
I read so much Fitzgerald that year
perhaps because I felt my life was
on some sort of side of Paradise.
Was clumsily and unbearably in love,
Princeton summers,
Was quite unloved
New York autumns,
Was throughly confused
New York winters.
The men come at us,
fling themselves like a screeching
jungle animal of a kind
But we don't care,
we sit in the park fermenting
like we usually do
but still the men laugh
still they come at us
while our skin sloughs off our faces
and we tell them "I'm dying, don't come any closer"
I felt like my face being ripped off once
but I didn't try to do anything about it
of course.
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 16, 2016 at 12:43 AM UTC
The
On the stone wall
There stands
An empty bottle of
Lemonade
It was throughly
Enjoyed
By the person
Who left it there.
Aug 31, 2019
Aug 31, 2019 at 1:01 PM UTC
babies are birthed from the darkest.
the LOVE of creation, from the darkest.
the light of life from the dark.
without the current in the fluid
the brain would not spark.
in order to stop you
had to start
and so I propose being
neutral.
these days we could use some
neutrality. some of that prior unity
recognition. the initial condition.
the balanced act.
the grey only looks that way
with the blue sky shining
when the sun comes around.
contrast creates definitions.
provides a canvas for the reflection...
communal disconnections,
normalcy in alone. here,
we are meant to moan and groan
and throughly love the lust,
the bones of this life.
with the I sight the commune
becomes hindsight, the WE
shrinks down to one, alone,
wondering,
competition to get to a conclusion
just an end of some
pass-time action. choose one or
the other.
each holding its truths,
the necessary rules.
so I try to be a neutral being
standing right on the middle of
both.
I was raised on the coast,
the waves only rising and falling,
crashing, laughing
at the nights fate. each rise
rolling down into the valley, the pit.
giving time its due. then,
surface to the moon and prepare the ride
again.
the neutral being, press upon
the sides
there is only One.
allow the insight to ignite from within,
embrace the ease of reality,
regardless of perception.
be quenched, release.
ALL is One.
an ode to my stars,
I am One, learning to balance.
I thank God I witness.
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 2:42 AM UTC