sometimes, I sit and think of you, and then perhaps another.
I think of the moments we spent, the times I longed to call you my lover. I feel a deepness in my chest, rising then falling, with every breath. Floating and lingering, like a melancholy chord oh, how sweet it rests.
I've always hoped for courage, I've gained it in all shapes and colors. But the courage I'm missing in my collection, is the courage of love for another.
Professing and Proud, not pawning nor painful. Pliable and Passionate, without polluting a punch.
This courage, pleasant as it sounds, may it one day reach your ears.
it's crazy... how we put our whole lives into something, devoting every ounce of our heart and soul into it until we're left with the results we want...the results we never get. but, maybe that's just it. maybe the reason those devotions don't satisfy is because they never really were meant to? maybe our devotions should lie elsewhere...lie somewhere where can't even begin to comprehend. suppose our devotion in life isn't anything selfish...anything that gives us gain, but rather surrender. and in those moments our devotions and dreams don't work, maybe it's merely because they aren't the right ones to set our eyes on. -Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
Sometimes I just wish I could hug you. Like a sweet little novel I've been dying to read, I wish to read you, all over, front and back, spine to paper. And yes, often times, I just wish I could wrap you up in a roll of oozing vanilla and breathe the moment in. I wish I could tell you that you're worth more than the girl who left you standing on you front porch with a lingering love. Sometimes, I wish that your eyes would softly rest upon mine and feel peace in knowing your life is not complete with her, but rather complemented, perhaps, with me. Someday I wish you look at life's disappointments as a step towards greater and not a stand still of why's and why-not's. And if you're willing, I would hope you sit and wish the same for me.
I am so grateful. so grateful for the fact I was saved... saved from the pain, sorrow, and weakness of which the world layed upon me. grateful for the fact that all of the choices I make that are filled with regret are wiped away when I look up. grateful for the tears that pour down my face without ever calling out Your name...the heart of mine which opens without even meaning to. I am grateful to be called a child in need of a Father, a child with a Father. I am forever yours.
maybe it was because we were both changed, both older. those years we didn’t speak made us a little bit bolder. was it the coloration of my cheeks that still was faint, or the way I curved every word I marked in paint.
was it your samson hair that drew me in, strength so alluring that my resistance was paper thin. I don’t think things will quite ever be like they once were, golden in my brain waves. no, they will be chromatic and effortlessly constant in my view sight.
maybe it's because I'm cold or just because you're cold hearted. maybe it's because the memories of your lips leave mine parted. maybe it's because the words you never told me are still a wish that is longing to come true. or maybe it's just the color of my mood, oh deep deep blue. maybe because all of the things I once leant upon were temporary, I wanted to cherish every last hazy moment. maybe because even while it was fake offer, I was sold on you and the price I paid for it. I'll leave you slow dancing where I first approached you...in your bright, blazing room.