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"sicker" poems
Oh beautiful for specious lies where Christless values reign; for superficial battle cries above the muted strain: Diversity, diversity God hides His face from thee— and frown he should, while planethood distracts humanity. How sad it is when victim groups monopolize the floor; enabling the marginals to agitate for more. Diversity, diversity, Your queer agenda rules— with Balkanizing tendencies imposed on witless tools. Degenerate in decadence the ailing eagle flies; in spirals of irrelevance through clouded toxic skies… Diversity, diversity the Left defines your terms; the weakened body politic grows sicker as it squirms. Oh Lord we need a miracle before the patient fails; celestial intervention please to purge us of what ails. Diversity, diversity We shall not overcome— Unless the Lord reveal His word twixt here and Kingdom Come…
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Sep 17, 2015
Sep 17, 2015 at 8:41 PM UTC
Diversity Training
Numb to not feel to not feel, pain or anything else. being numb does not mean unable to notice it does not mean, unable to pretend. I know numbness. long ago in a hospital, it was pumped into my veins and I learned. Numbness, will ease pain. but now I am stuck trapped in this place where I pump myself full of metaphysical numbness At the point I reside, the only thing I feel is physical. I know the warmth of your hand when you hold mine tightly I know the softness of her skin and I know if I am injured. One day, one desperate day when I was alone against everything... I released some of my rusted life from my arm. and as the warmth dripped away... I felt it. a small spark inside not happiness... but a tear in my left eye. My fears, not gone but released, the things I guarded so close, brought to the light. I remember a day a long time ago... in a hospital room I wondered. which, is better? To die filled with pain and fast, or to be pumped full of artificial numbness, and have it last? Numbness. no word makes me sicker not in disgust, but in a pit. I am terrified of numbness, and so I ask of anyone who will listen to my dying heart please DON'T let me die numb.
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Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 12:12 PM UTC
Numbness
Let me tell you a story about a busy steet in a busy city in a busy country in a busy world. Somewhere near the end of this busy street in a busy city in a busy country in a busy world, there was a flowershop. It was a lovely old place; an elegant building surrounded by beautiful gardens with daisies and daffodils and roses. It had bird baths where the cheery cardinals and bluejays stopped by for an afternoon splash, and even a sprinkler for the young children to run around in while their mommy's and daddy's were picking out pretty flowers. Now, inside this flowershop, there were rows upon rows of pots filled with any type of plant you could imagine: dragonsnaps, lilies, zinnias, tulips, the whole lot. Baskets of flowers hung from the ceiling, overflowing with bright colours. Every once in a while, petals would rain down and the entire shop would look magical. Everyday, people of all ages would dash into this flowershop. Men in suits, looking to find the perfect gift for their dates. Ladies in dresses, picking out just a little something to look nice in a vase on their dinner table. And of course, the gardeners, with their overalls and ***** fingers. So, as I said, busy people on a busy street in a busy city in a busy country in a busy world would dash into this busy flowershop, then dash back out and get on with their busy lives. Always looking for the most ravishing type of flower, the ones that could catch your eye as soon as you entered the shop. Never focusing on anything else. What no one realized was that there was a small flower placed near the back wall of the shop. It was never moved; always been in the same exact place ever since it arrived at the flowershop years and years ago. The owners had stopped watering it, so the flower was beginning to shrivel up. Most of the petals had fallen off and were now laying in a sad little pile on the ground, and the few that remained had turned the colour of black. The little flower got sicker and sicker every day, but it never lost hope. Every time the suited man stopped in, or the lady with the dress, or the ***** gardener; the flower would use its last bit of strength to make itself noticed. It stood on its tippy toes, perking up and spreading its wilted petals and frail stem as much as it could. No one saw. Then, one day, when the owner was sweeping the floor of the flowershop, he saw something near the back wall. Something broken. Crumpled. Blackened. Ugly. Dead. Something that once was beautiful until it stopped being noticed; stopped being loved. You see, in a busy flowershop on a busy street in a busy city in a busy country in a busy world, no one's ever going to notice a wallflower until it wilts.
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Apr 16, 2013
Apr 16, 2013 at 6:47 PM UTC
The Wilting Wallflower
Let me tell you a story about a busy steet in a busy city in a busy country in a busy world. Somewhere near the end of this busy street in a busy city in a busy country in a busy world, there was a flowershop. It was a lovely old place; an elegant building surrounded by beautiful gardens with daisies and daffodils and roses. It had bird baths where the cheery cardinals and bluejays stopped by for an afternoon splash, and even a sprinkler for the young children to run around in while their mommy's and daddy's were picking out pretty flowers. Now, inside this flowershop, there were rows upon rows of pots filled with any type of plant you could imagine: dragonsnaps, lilies, zinnias, tulips, the whole lot. Baskets of flowers hung from the ceiling, overflowing with bright colours. Every once in a while, petals would rain down and the entire shop would look magical. Everyday, people of all ages would dash into this flowershop. Men in suits, looking to find the perfect gift for their dates. Ladies in dresses, picking out just a little something to look nice in a vase on their dinner table. And of course, the gardeners, with their overalls and ***** fingers. So, as I said, busy people on a busy street in a busy city in a busy country in a busy world would dash into this busy flowershop, then dash back out and get on with their busy lives. Always looking for the most ravishing type of flower, the ones that could catch your eye as soon as you entered the shop. Never focusing on anything else. What no one realized was that there was a small flower placed near the back wall of the shop. It was never moved; always been in the same exact place ever since it arrived at the flowershop years and years ago. The owners had stopped watering it, so the flower was beginning to shrivel up. Most of the petals had fallen off and were now laying in a sad little pile on the ground, and the few that remained had turned the colour of black. The little flower got sicker and sicker every day, but it never lost hope. Every time the suited man stopped in, or the lady with the dress, or the ***** gardener; the flower would use its last bit of strength to make itself noticed. It stood on its tippy toes, perking up and spreading its wilted petals and frail stem as much as it could. No one saw. Then, one day, when the owner was sweeping the floor of the flowershop, he saw something near the back wall. Something broken. Crumpled. Blackened. Ugly. Dead. Something that once was beautiful until it stopped being noticed; stopped being loved. You see, in a busy flowershop on a busy street in a busy city in a busy country in a busy world, no one's ever going to notice a wallflower until it wilts.
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11
Psychic spies from China Try to steal your mind's elation And little girls from Sweden Dreams of silver screen quotation And if you want these kind of dreams It's Californication It's the edge of the world And all of western civilization The sun may rise in the East At least it settles in the final location It's understood that Hollywood Sells Californication Pay your surgeon very well To break the spell of aging Celebrity skin is this your chin Or is that war your waging First born unicorn Hard core soft **** Dream of Californication Dream of Californication Marry me girl be my fairy to the world Be my very own constellation A teenage bride with a baby inside Getting high on information And buy me a star on the boulevard It's Californication Space may be the final frontier But it's made in a Hollywood basement Cobain can you hear the spheres Singing songs off station to station And Alderaan's not far away It's Californication Born and raised by those who praise Control of population everybody's been there and I don't mean on vacation First born unicorn Hard core soft **** Dream of Californication Dream of Californication Destruction leads to a very rough road But it also breeds creation And earthquakes are to a girl's guitar They're just another good vibration And tidal waves couldn't save the world From Californication Pay your surgeon very well To break the spell of aging Sicker than the rest There is no test But this is what you're craving First born unicorn Hard core soft **** Dream of Californication Dream of Californication By Anthony Kiedis / Michael Balzary / John Anthony Frusciante / Chad Smith Californication lyrics © MoeBeToBlame
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Nov 29, 2017
Nov 29, 2017 at 9:38 PM UTC
Lyrics to "Californication" (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Psychic spies from China Try to steal your mind's elation And little girls from Sweden Dreams of silver screen quotation And if you want these kind of dreams It's Californication It's the edge of the world And all of western civilization The sun may rise in the East At least it settles in the final location It's understood that Hollywood Sells Californication Pay your surgeon very well To break the spell of aging Celebrity skin is this your chin Or is that war your waging First born unicorn Hard core soft **** Dream of Californication Dream of Californication Marry me girl be my fairy to the world Be my very own constellation A teenage bride with a baby inside Getting high on information And buy me a star on the boulevard It's Californication Space may be the final frontier But it's made in a Hollywood basement Cobain can you hear the spheres Singing songs off station to station And Alderaan's not far away It's Californication Born and raised by those who praise Control of population everybody's been there and I don't mean on vacation First born unicorn Hard core soft **** Dream of Californication Dream of Californication Destruction leads to a very rough road But it also breeds creation And earthquakes are to a girl's guitar They're just another good vibration And tidal waves couldn't save the world From Californication Pay your surgeon very well To break the spell of aging Sicker than the rest There is no test But this is what you're craving First born unicorn Hard core soft **** Dream of Californication Dream of Californication By Anthony Kiedis / Michael Balzary / John Anthony Frusciante / Chad Smith Californication lyrics © MoeBeToBlame
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56
I'm tired of always being on edge when it comes to you. at one time, for one moment, someone else took in your mind and i'm sorry i cant forget it. im sorry i question you about everything. she makes me sick to my stomach and the thought of you two makes me sicker. yes you came back on your hands and knees and yes i forgave you and yes i am stupid but for once i wanted to believe in that unbeatable love that is stupid and crazy with everything else in between because everyone has that love at some point.
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Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 10:11 PM UTC
cheater cheater pumpkin eater
Again the time has come for all to gather round the fire, "That time again", we say, while we assess the money drained, The looks of disappointment from the ***** with stupid attire, And truth will leak from drink fuelled mouths, with need to be restrained. Your mum is singing drunkenly, while flirting with the vicar, And dad is out the back sneaking a joint with cousin victor, The dog is ******* aunt Jemima's artificial leg, And someone just had a turkey fart,the kind that makes you sicker. The christmas lights have fused again, so grandad's on the roof, Sheer will power keeps him up there,and of course, martini vermouth, Grandma's lost her teeth,and someone screams near the eggnog, They're sent flying across the room and land in the fire on a log, You feel your patience slipping as the pandamoniem mounts, With thankless moans of "Oh well, its the ****** thought that counts", And not forgetting Glenn, invited by your mum, but why? So you and he can marry, and honeymoon in Hawaii. With no idea that Glenn is gay, i guess the joke's on her, I mean, what straight guy wears his y fronts entirely made from fur?? The night draws to a close,as bitter, crying family leave, And relief is all too short, as there's still new years eve!!!
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Dec 20, 2009
Dec 20, 2009 at 7:54 AM UTC
The meaning of "holiday"
The warm ache of ***** Touches my stomach with soft Hands and all i can think Is why and the tickle in my throat From nicotine's playful kiss Makes me sicker than before Woozy and exhausted I cry to myself And wonder why you're far Gone from me Loneliness caresses my face With hot tears While I panic And want to die In the place that doesn't feel like home
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Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 12:19 AM UTC
Party Foul
Through that hole in the roof, devoid of tar and shingle, I                                               drip. From that shower head that needs just a wrench twist, I                                                       drip,                                                       drip.                                                                      That patch on the driveway, beneath the car, just tuned up, I                                                       drip,                                                           drip,                                                        d r i p. In the back of a dream, that stirs us to wake, I                                      drip,                                                    drip. When that old dog only gets older, sicker, I                                 drip,                                             drip. Where nose ends and cheeks turn into chin, I                                        drip. On the counter top a bottle- tipped, chipped. I can't recall, but I                                                drip,                                                 drip. Overflowing and fraught with guilt, a kettle of doubt, one carelessly spilt, I                                                                drip,                                                               drip,                                                              d r i p.
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Jul 7, 2011
Jul 7, 2011 at 1:23 PM UTC
I Drip
Through that hole in the roof, devoid of tar and shingle, I                                               drip. From that shower head that needs just a wrench twist, I                                                       drip,                                                       drip.                                                                      That patch on the driveway, beneath the car, just tuned up, I                                                       drip,                                                           drip,                                                        d r i p. In the back of a dream, that stirs us to wake, I                                      drip,                                                    drip. When that old dog only gets older, sicker, I                                 drip,                                             drip. Where nose ends and cheeks turn into chin, I                                        drip. On the counter top a bottle- tipped, chipped. I can't recall, but I                                                drip,                                                 drip. Overflowing and fraught with guilt, a kettle of doubt, one carelessly spilt, I                                                                drip,                                                               drip,                                                              d r i p.
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32
What do you do when you aren't hungry, But you have to eat? What do you do when that sustenance, could mean life or death? what do you do when you feel sick to your stomach, But without it you may die? Food. Its something I need as a diabetic. But what are you supposed to do, When you cant even stomach looking at it? What are you supposed to do, When you feel like you may throw up? Do I sit and wait? Or force myself to eat? Either one is bad. Forcing making you sicker, Or waiting making you weaker. What to do is the question. To eat or not to eat?
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May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 11:51 AM UTC
Food?
I have wearied of grand romances Of deep sighs and swooning trances Of doting gentlemen’s advances And all manner of courtship play I am tired of love confessions And of dizzied, dazed professions And of unrestrained obsessions I grow sicker day by day I once dreamed of adoration Went quite mad for veneration Laughing, flirting with temptation The queen in Camelot The lonely, lovely Guinevere Dainty-masked with girlish fear But when King Arthur wasn’t near Dreaming of Sir Lancelot These days I want no noble knight Despite my seeming helpless plight I wish to set myself aright And tread upon the ground Yet here I am, pedestal-high Too close to the dazzling sky As my life keeps passing by And boys keep running round I’ve let myself grow much too proud Drew up arrogance from the crowd Heard the cheering, bright and loud The queen in Camelot And though I had my faithful Sir Still my heart was all astir With flying fancies, all a blur For Guinevere and Lancelot These fantasies have grown too old I’d rather let my bed grow cold For I have wearied of being told “You are mine to keep” Men have tired me to the core Left me sad and sick and sore And have turned into such a chore And I’d much rather sleep What blasphemy for a maiden fair To toss such doting to the air To turn away without much care Though queen in Camelot But I have withered, I have tired Felt as if my brain’s been mired And find not Arthur much desired Nor dashing Lancelot Is it so bad to want respite From endless longing, day and night? This constant charm becomes too trite With ever staler tone I only wish to rest a while Recover from incessant guile Forget the weight of lovers’ trial And simply be alone
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May 29, 2013
May 29, 2013 at 10:48 PM UTC
Nor Dashing Lancelot
I have wearied of grand romances Of deep sighs and swooning trances Of doting gentlemen’s advances And all manner of courtship play I am tired of love confessions And of dizzied, dazed professions And of unrestrained obsessions I grow sicker day by day I once dreamed of adoration Went quite mad for veneration Laughing, flirting with temptation The queen in Camelot The lonely, lovely Guinevere Dainty-masked with girlish fear But when King Arthur wasn’t near Dreaming of Sir Lancelot These days I want no noble knight Despite my seeming helpless plight I wish to set myself aright And tread upon the ground Yet here I am, pedestal-high Too close to the dazzling sky As my life keeps passing by And boys keep running round I’ve let myself grow much too proud Drew up arrogance from the crowd Heard the cheering, bright and loud The queen in Camelot And though I had my faithful Sir Still my heart was all astir With flying fancies, all a blur For Guinevere and Lancelot These fantasies have grown too old I’d rather let my bed grow cold For I have wearied of being told “You are mine to keep” Men have tired me to the core Left me sad and sick and sore And have turned into such a chore And I’d much rather sleep What blasphemy for a maiden fair To toss such doting to the air To turn away without much care Though queen in Camelot But I have withered, I have tired Felt as if my brain’s been mired And find not Arthur much desired Nor dashing Lancelot Is it so bad to want respite From endless longing, day and night? This constant charm becomes too trite With ever staler tone I only wish to rest a while Recover from incessant guile Forget the weight of lovers’ trial And simply be alone
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56
I've walked into a tunnel. Following coats, Dragging behind in Abandon The light is slitted The shape above is Too Close to my head. The sharp, Undecided angles bother me And a nervous twitch begins. I imagine it like a funnel, Sorting population To pass through in Close quarters, Contact guaranteed. I sneeze And cough. My fever smolders Making my skin chill, And the thought of disease Enters, and crowds with me, Suffocating me to one side- But not too close- Don't touch anything. Fear grows. I am already sick But I could get sicker. Conspiracy drips over my thoughts, My fever leaving the normal functioning funnel In my mind To be burned away- materializing in the city- Around me. My thoughts bunch In clusters And pass all at once, Leaving waves of nausea And claustrophobia As I continue through the tunnel, Paranoia worsening my symptoms By the step.
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Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 7:11 PM UTC
Mind Funnel - Literal Tunnel
I grow sicker Day by day As I realize: Where I once saw a monster I now see a man.     ("See? I'm just like you.") It grows more apparent Each day I'm by your side Close enough to see into the soul I didn't think you had. ("I'm not so bad After all.") Don't get me wrong There's not much there. While my insides wither I can see that yours Are already cold and dead. Empty. ("Come on, my dear. Make me feel alive.") Even when you hurt me I find myself searching Seeing right through you. You break me down While you're in shambles Reducing both of us to ruins. ("No! Don't you dare cry!") But it's all too clear In those rare moments Of misplaced tenderness That, maybe once You might have known how to love. ("Hey, angel Where's your halo?") Sometimes In the dead of night When you're still and serene I try holding you Lightly tracing all the lines of your face Wondering who made you this way. ("Shhh...") Sometimes I even wonder If, because of the way things are going now I might turn out like you one day. ("Don't look so scared. You know you're okay.") So I listen to you breathe And I watch you dream And sometimes I swear I hear a sob And my insides cave in when I realize it's not mine. ("Oh, angel...") I just wish someone loved you Before you met me So that maybe -- Just maybe -- We could both be alright Maybe even meet Under much better circumstances. ("Shhh... Angel...") And, even when you destroy me I wish that Somehow I could love you. ("Please Don't cry.") It makes me sicker Day by day That I fall back into the arms Time and time again Of a monster Who was once A man. ("You know you're safe with me Right?")
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Sep 5, 2018
Sep 5, 2018 at 11:35 PM UTC
***** wings.
I grow sicker Day by day As I realize: Where I once saw a monster I now see a man.     ("See? I'm just like you.") It grows more apparent Each day I'm by your side Close enough to see into the soul I didn't think you had. ("I'm not so bad After all.") Don't get me wrong There's not much there. While my insides wither I can see that yours Are already cold and dead. Empty. ("Come on, my dear. Make me feel alive.") Even when you hurt me I find myself searching Seeing right through you. You break me down While you're in shambles Reducing both of us to ruins. ("No! Don't you dare cry!") But it's all too clear In those rare moments Of misplaced tenderness That, maybe once You might have known how to love. ("Hey, angel Where's your halo?") Sometimes In the dead of night When you're still and serene I try holding you Lightly tracing all the lines of your face Wondering who made you this way. ("Shhh...") Sometimes I even wonder If, because of the way things are going now I might turn out like you one day. ("Don't look so scared. You know you're okay.") So I listen to you breathe And I watch you dream And sometimes I swear I hear a sob And my insides cave in when I realize it's not mine. ("Oh, angel...") I just wish someone loved you Before you met me So that maybe -- Just maybe -- We could both be alright Maybe even meet Under much better circumstances. ("Shhh... Angel...") And, even when you destroy me I wish that Somehow I could love you. ("Please Don't cry.") It makes me sicker Day by day That I fall back into the arms Time and time again Of a monster Who was once A man. ("You know you're safe with me Right?")
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78
443 I tie my Hat—I crease my Shawl— Life’s little duties do—precisely— As the very least Were infinite—to me— I put new Blossoms in the Glass— And throw the old—away— I push a petal from my gown That anchored there—I weigh The time ’twill be till six o’clock I have so much to do— And yet—Existence—some way back— Stopped—struck—my tickling—through— We cannot put Ourself away As a completed Man Or Woman—When the Errand’s done We came to Flesh—upon— There may be—Miles on Miles of Nought— Of Action—sicker far— To simulate—is stinging work— To cover what we are From Science—and from Surgery— Too Telescopic Eyes To bear on us unshaded— For their—sake—not for Ours— ’Twould start them— We—could tremble— But since we got a Bomb— And held it in our ***** Nay—Hold it—it is calm— Therefore—we do life’s labor— Though life’s Reward—be done— With scrupulous exactness— To hold our Senses—on—
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I tie my Hat—I crease my Shawl
a malignant cancer spreads in prime agricultural land the Santos Company gas wells ever expand the waterways and aquifers sullied with material not healthy the corporate entity aspiring to be more wealthy campaigners outside fences at drilling locations wanting to stop the company's sick infiltration the fight to preserve the family farm has been unheeded company profitability must be well seeded a state government not listening to scientist's info seemingly it is more interested in the gas field's revenue flow as time goes by the waterways and land will become sicker all in the name of the Santos brands noxious sticker
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Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014 at 8:15 AM UTC
Noxious Sticker
I ordered a wheelchair for my mother The rest of the family was filled with horror As it might make her feel sicker and look much older She's weak, no surprise at ninety-four She can walk maybe fifty yards but no more She was a ballerina and raised kids no less than four Cancelled the order but it was too late When it arrived I rolled her through the gate Really enjoyed ourselves, luckily she's of little weight Arriving at the park, she was delighted Seeing the flowers the ducks, she got excited She held my hand and we were pleased to be united.
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Aug 31, 2021
Aug 31, 2021 at 5:29 AM UTC
The Wheelchair
I’m sure it has happened To many other people before. There comes a moment A feeling one cannot ignore. A want, a drive, an impulse To have, to hold, to own Something, someone or A moment that is yours alone. At a party, a face appeared And our two eyes connected. It seemed we were talking; A dialogue was being erected. A relationship of mere moments, It seemed powerfully right. And at just that one moment Nothing could be more right. We left the party immediately And went to my place to see If followers through with feeling What just the right thing to be. It was all a wonderful adventure. I am sure we had no kind of fear. It was an accident of timing, One I would suffer for years. Twice more and we were broken, Never to be together again. No thoughts about if ever Not a question about when. And after the last evening I knew things had moved on. When I looked into my wallet. All of my money was gone. All because of impatience And not wanting to be alone I let myself fall into a kind of Rock and roll Twilight Zone. Why didn’t I ask more questions? Because in that single moment I wanted a fantasy romance. Nothing was more important. It was months later I discovered In a routine visit to my doctor That I had contracted a disease That would ruin my life forever. They didn’t know what to call it In those days before the name. Those were the days before AIDS And it’s horrific kind of sick fame. And they had no way to treat it So, most of us just quickly died. We had no ability to resist it. We had no resistance inside. We lost all our friends and lovers Because for one single moment That one evening with a stranger, Nothing was more important. I fell into a frenzy of not caring, Drugs and drink and debauchery. I felt I had lost all hope in life And lost all my chance at dignity. Of course that made me sicker My resistance went down further. I no longer wanted to live like that I was sick of my life altogether. I am writing this to you, today So you can share it with others. Tell people that getting laid Is not the same as a lover. Point to me and advise them We may have just one moment For valuing ourselves as a person Nothing must be more important. (This is dedicated to many of my friends over the decades that suffered from *** and AIDS related issues.)
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Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 5:27 AM UTC
A MOMENT
I’m sure it has happened To many other people before. There comes a moment A feeling one cannot ignore. A want, a drive, an impulse To have, to hold, to own Something, someone or A moment that is yours alone. At a party, a face appeared And our two eyes connected. It seemed we were talking; A dialogue was being erected. A relationship of mere moments, It seemed powerfully right. And at just that one moment Nothing could be more right. We left the party immediately And went to my place to see If followers through with feeling What just the right thing to be. It was all a wonderful adventure. I am sure we had no kind of fear. It was an accident of timing, One I would suffer for years. Twice more and we were broken, Never to be together again. No thoughts about if ever Not a question about when. And after the last evening I knew things had moved on. When I looked into my wallet. All of my money was gone. All because of impatience And not wanting to be alone I let myself fall into a kind of Rock and roll Twilight Zone. Why didn’t I ask more questions? Because in that single moment I wanted a fantasy romance. Nothing was more important. It was months later I discovered In a routine visit to my doctor That I had contracted a disease That would ruin my life forever. They didn’t know what to call it In those days before the name. Those were the days before AIDS And it’s horrific kind of sick fame. And they had no way to treat it So, most of us just quickly died. We had no ability to resist it. We had no resistance inside. We lost all our friends and lovers Because for one single moment That one evening with a stranger, Nothing was more important. I fell into a frenzy of not caring, Drugs and drink and debauchery. I felt I had lost all hope in life And lost all my chance at dignity. Of course that made me sicker My resistance went down further. I no longer wanted to live like that I was sick of my life altogether. I am writing this to you, today So you can share it with others. Tell people that getting laid Is not the same as a lover. Point to me and advise them We may have just one moment For valuing ourselves as a person Nothing must be more important. (This is dedicated to many of my friends over the decades that suffered from *** and AIDS related issues.)
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73
Dear friends its been a while! I can't believe It took so long to reconcile. So often it feels like I'm only giving off a profile. so I must say I’ve missed your smile. I've been thinking lately (And you know how My thoughts can be deadly) That maybe I Am lost again already. I’ll swallow my pride this time And ask for help before I go crazy. I can't feel my emotions. Every other obstacle feels like a toss into the deepest of oceans. And no matter what I do Its like I’m only going through the motions. It's so hard to be around people Without feeling like my mind and body are prisons Help me, please I don't want to be alone anymore but this is the only place I feel at ease. I feel sicker than before now, How can I cure my self of this disease? All my efforts drain me. Why would my heart have a lock without keys? I am so sorry I'm working through some of this explosive self-fury. I hope you can forgive me and save yourself some worry because I know to ask now and besides: it's not as bad as it could be.
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Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 9:45 PM UTC
Reconciliation
It's not me, it's you these words they haunt beds but I can sleep at night. Rather be cold, covered, and neglected than hot, naked, and rejected. Yeah you're winning cause you have feelings but nothing is ever what it seems. Crying and purging at the thought of my body but I won't let you see me because I'm shaking. You're so far away from my tree that I appear to be still but my leaves are trembling. I never asked for thunder and rain, you were supposed to bury the pain. Instead I watched as you endlessly shoveled to find the root, so the the thorn in your heart can be extracted. But I won't let you get soil deep forever bound chained and held in my hand curled up defeated a snail in a shell. Sicker everyday.... all because I didn't wish you well. Shame fingers point and they blame you. Libra weigh the scales I'm tired of the lower hand I want you so bad it's stupid It's stupid that I want bad news Yearning centuries now for something new. I want you so bad it's stupid it's stupid that I want you so bad so bad, my want is bad, but I'm stupid for you. The Victim and The Villain interchanging between the two chemistry ignited in red but now we're entering the blues The positions they change as frequent as lies that transform into truth. The Victtim and The Villain they live inside of us; and they live inside of you.
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May 24, 2013
May 24, 2013 at 12:42 PM UTC
The Victim and The Villain
You rang me on New Years, Crying, Just as I had managed to forget, And told me we'd get through this together. And I wept more for your case Than I ever did for mine As they told me "Common things are common" Though you insisted That your cysts were sinister. Even if you really were Under your 'mother's maiden name', You never told me That you were alright, When I had more than enough Pills, injections and appointments To worry about Than asking my father to look for you When neither your name nor conscience, Were anywhere to be seen. I've always had my doubts about places of fire and brimstone But never wished it on anyone, nevertheless, And nor do I now. But I do believe In places of eternal sleeplessness, nausea and screaming children on long haul flights, And that there is an seat reserved for you, With no legroom. When I broke down, as the bus did, On our way to maths, I was thankful for you. As you should be of me, That I haven't told anyone You lied to an ill young girl For attention. And still I think, You're sicker than I ever was.
0
Jun 30, 2011
Jun 30, 2011 at 6:21 PM UTC
Maths.
what kind of person fantasizes about being sicker than they already are? man, it's time I realize life is worth it and I've made it this far when I can't forget, can't forgive, and get stuck tires spinning, thoughts running, strength thinning out of control what role does my faith play in feeling whole? I wish I could erase this hole eating away inside but then I might just feel more empty I try to cut through the feelings by cutting through the skin that covers this lifeless body the razor shreds my flesh instead of fleshing out all of the chaos inside this mess of a mind
0
Oct 23, 2023
Oct 23, 2023 at 8:08 AM UTC
mess of a mind
Mommy? My throat hurts You tell me it's the flu. Mommy? My nose itches You tell me it's the flu. Mommy, I keep coughing and I don't know what to do. Mommy? You look a little sleepy But you slept all afternoon. Mommy? You're really grumpy But you slept all afternoon. Mommy, you keep hitting me and I don't know what to do. Mommy? It smells bad in here And I can't help but choke. Mommy? It's so hard to breathe And I can't help but choke. Mommy, we're getting sicker and I don't know what to do. Mommy? Your tongue is turning black Please make it stop. Mommy? Your hair is falling out Please make it stop. Mommy I'm watching you decay and I don't know what to do. Mommy? My cough won't go away But I don't have the flu Mommy? My throat still hurts But I don't have the flu. Mommy I keep getting sick and I don't know what to do. Mommy? Grandma called, She asked to speak to you. Mommy? Auntie called She asked to speak to you. Mommy, they keep calling, crying, and I don't know what to do. Mommy? I'm in the park today and I'm missing you. Mommy? I hear laughter and I'm missing you. Mommy we don't get to play, and I don't know what to do. Mommy? Why'd you have to go cause I'm still missing you. Mommy? I try to be okay But I'm still missing you. Mommy they all have their moms and I don't know what to do. Mommy had a habit It always smelled real bad. The doctors couldn’t help her, And it made me really sad.
0
Nov 12, 2012
Nov 12, 2012 at 10:54 PM UTC
Mommy and her habit
mantra and insolence hand in hand intercepting the idea of the baby boy crush applying to me like kinetic sand barbie dolls at the marriott saccharine jewels in the sewers rot with the old girlie i had a tap on lipstick peeling away like a deteriorated vinyl record's song let the angels waver, barter, become sicker and quote 'say anything' as if it's a 90s sticker have vomit-stained carpet posted and uploaded to the black market webs caption it ****** me" and let the media do the rest tired of these wicked games isaac position me with rachel some day at the mosque, eve and ann is scratched out into the old testament books pack the bags let's go the hilton's booked etch and sketch situated on the train tracks along with two birds together feet lazily dangling bargaining with god to finish them over ****** denial, toothbrush stuffed in the dog's mouth ran down the line, kissing him to the south lost the baby girl along the way let the dirt do the talking gargled some milk and jack daniels honey in large arms, lucid dreaming never seemed so calming
0
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 7:54 PM UTC
lucid kissing
I've come to know the hospital well the stale smells the nurses names and stories the hand sanitizer the countless quiet nervous elevator rides stuff like that I could even write a full review of the cafeteria food should this hospital have it's own newspaper. There's been too many sad days but I find myself laughing as she shows off her blonde extravagant wig The doctors and nurses Fall in love with her her energy her aura As most people do They laugh with her And cry with her And hope with her People come in They say things will be fine things will get better My mom grows weary She's heard this since stage two They say keep up the fight But seen as a fight Her getting sicker only implies she is not fighting hard enough that she is losing nothing can **** hope quicker but she shrugs it off She doesn't need some greeting card or nylon balloons or some half-assed healer or some gurus blowing smoke from burning sage She needs authenticity connection meaning She needs to be told things are awful And probably won't get better She needs complete vulnerability on both ends She needs real Which is hard to find in a lot of places and faces and words an hour with her though she would get it out of you the 'you' that you didn't even know she touched lives beyond whatever I ever imagined capable There are many ways I wish to be like her but most is to be able to smile as real and transparent as she did when I am about to die.
0
Jan 1, 2014
Jan 1, 2014 at 2:25 PM UTC
For Mom
It's a little funny when you drink cough syrup, despite not having a cold. Popping a few pills is a bit strange when you have no nerve pain. And it's a tad ironic, taking fever reducers when you don't have the flu. Because in reality you're so much sicker than you thought
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Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 5:40 PM UTC
Fever Reducers
There are voices I hear that are unusually clear, it's quite an awful racket What do you mean? I hear nothing You don't?  I hear something Me? I can hear only quacking They argue and bicker I swear I get sicker each and every day I think you're crazy, my son He's fine, Obi Wan Guys?  These ducks are coming our way The least I can say is that on rather slow days, I listen to combat the dullness At least someone's not bored I'm a Sith Lord! Oh crap! one those ducks has a cutlass!! It could be worse I suppose but they always impose on the moments of silence I cherish Man, he wasn't joking! Those ducks are force choking! If we don't leave, we're all going to perish! One day I know They'll finally go, and my sanity I will gain back Quack quack quack quack Quack quack quack quack quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack! sigh
0
Jan 18, 2012
Jan 18, 2012 at 6:44 PM UTC
Regime Shift