There is nothing  so stupid
As arguing with the stupid
An eye for an eye
One mustn't kickback an ***!

It wasn't quite a party.
More of a kickback
just ten or twelve friends
drinking and smoking from a huge glass ****
all of them huddled around the computer
watching funny videos on YouTube
of people getting hurt and ****.
The guy at the controls
went to a website
ratemyboobs.com or ratemytits.com
something like that
and the four girls there
all moaned and groaned
saying they didn't want to see **** like that.
The guys all laughed
and continued rating the pictures of *****
as they came up one by one
when all of the sudden
a picture of a guy holding his ****
came up on the screen.
The girls finally had a reason to laugh
the guys were all grossed out
but one guy more than anyone else
he freaked out.
"What the ****, bro?! I don't wanna see guy's *****! I'm not gay!"
"Relax man...no one said that you were. Chill out."
He looked like he was hyperventilating and about to
break out in ******* hives.
"But that's gay ****, bro! I'm not gay, so I don't wanna see that ****! ****!"
He stomped off to the backyard
lighting a cigarette
you could still hear him out there
shouting over and over
"I'm not gay. I'm not ******* gay!"
he yelled, pacing back & forth.
Everyone around the computer
didn't know what to say
so they just chuckled quietly
and then someone said it.
What every person there was thinking,
"Wow. That's sad. He's totally gay."
one of the girls said.
"Yup. Totally gay..." the guy at the computer said cracking up.
He rated the **** picture
ten out of ten
and moved on
to more ****.

Being with you it's all smiles and giggles
There's no twist turns rhymes or riddles
We are what people may call lovie dovie
Every second spent being silly and happy
I don't ever want it to stop being this way
So let's stay in the honeymoon phase forever
Long sweet good morning text
A simple time nothing Rolex
But gee let's watch if time slows
Let's take this phase where time goes
So let's kickback relax and chill have a drink
We ain't gotta go nowhere anytime soon
Let's stay in the honeymoon phase forever
Let's keep the whip with that new car smell
Shoes fresh out the box with all the value
Natural hair with the scent of cantu
Like telling the same joke over and over but it's still funny
Same terms of endearment bae or boo
We can do something not many can do
So let's stay in this honeymoon phase me and you

Bad as a ***** *****
Bas as a ***** *****
Flapjack rippin up tracks
Call the conductor
Oh wait that’s me
You need training
Wheel’s on the track
Traction that you stuck under
N never wonder who is coming with the blunderbuss
All up in yo face, one shot n you under us
Ain’t wonderous?
****** up a couple plastics, pause, chill, kickback
Smoke a couple blunts
M to the A G, N to the Ificient
Life’s nice isn’t it?
That is, if ya got a little life light to lighten up those, like,
Way heavy dark instances.
And I don’t give a **** what you’re inference is
Psh, this ***** tryna tell me what the difference is
I thought it was obvious
I am, they are not the ****.
Now we all got a nervous system
But that don’t explain why you’re so nervous mister
I done chained two chains up by his whiskers
Gave away his dummy money needed hunny ****** his sister
It’s the
Little Rapscallion
****** up your fleet, better bring the whole battalion
And I rap stallions, you stickin to the stable
Fables of your ladies n your many medalions
****, I’m goin off in this motha *****
Tossin these ***** fuckas wall to wall
Knockin bricks out with a fist pound
So get out n stand back, take notes, watch it fall
I’m bach with *****, don’t matter what your speed
I can clock em all, No cops involved, knock knock knock knock    
Lock down drop top n ball
I’m all tweaked up n ***** you bound to stall

Do any of you feel like you can't rely on anyone but yourself? My whole life has felt like that but tonight it's really hitting me.

It all started a few weeks ago when I asked this girl I liked to formal. It was quite a stretch considering the social boundaries that were already in place. I'm a senior and she is a junior and I had no connections to any of her volleyball friends. It may not seem like it but some girls need to feel like you are socially "accepted," and I was socially unknown.

When I asked her, she seemed really excited which made sense due to the energy and good vibes she would bring to conversations despite her extreme shyness (I seemed to do most of the talking). Then formal came around. Before we went to the dance, there was a pre-formal get-together at her friends house. We were there for about three hours before we left for the dance and it was a great opportunity for me to meet her friends and her social group. I made my date laugh many times and I truly felt like there was a deep emotional connection between us. I conveyed confidence and a sense of humor, but it was clear I was the odd man out.

As I'm driving her to the dance, we started talking and again and she gave off off many signs that she was into me. I'm usually pretty good at looking in to that kind of stuff and I felt something was there. Although when we got to the dance, things start getting pretty shady. We met up with her volleyball friends that were at the formal get-together but it became increasingly obvious at the time my date was either too shy to dance with me or she only wanted to be with her friends. After 30 minutes of awkwardly following her and her friends around without dancing with her, I decided to give her some space and proceeded to hang out with my friends for the majority of the night.

About an hour and a half after I left her, she found where I was and asked if I wanted to go to a party that was happening afterwards with her which led me to believe this was her trying to convey interest in me without putting herself out there. I agreed and we got in my car until about five minutes later when her friends insisted they couldn't go anymore, so she decided she wasn't going to go either (I can confirm that her friends weren't trying to get her out of hanging out with me and there was actually something that prevented them from going). So I dropped her off at her friend's car, still went to that same party, and called it a night.

The next morning I hit her up and told her I had a great night with her even though it was mostly *******, but I didn't want her to think I was mad for what actions took place (Ignoring me during the dance and ditching the party). Then Christmas break began and I was out of town for about a week and a half. While I was out of town, I decided the best way to get to know her and her friend group better was to throw a kickback since it became clear they rarely accepted new people into their group. Keep in mind that it's not just me and all of her girlfriends. One of my guy friends who is almost dating my formal date's best friend has gone to all of the events with me (pre-formal, the dance, the afterparty), and he was my only guy friend throughout this whole process.

Finally the day comes, I send them the address and then I get the dreadful question, "Who else is coming?" Side note: people who ask this question can honestly ******* because pretty much what they're saying is "is there anyone else coming that would make it worth going to?" Anyway, I told my date that it was just going to be my friend Nick (the guy that I mentioned earlier), her, and her other two close friends which she replied "that's it?" with no emojis. I proceeded to tell her yes and that I'm just keeping it small. I was left on open, but still assumed she and her friends were going to come.

I set the kickback to start at 8:00 PM until I get a text from her around 7:45 PM saying that she was sorry but neither her or any of her friends could make it. As for my one guy friend and the friends he was inviting, he said he was going to come but never bothered to actually show up. Fed up and frustrated, I decided to invite all of my friends that were in town to come to my house where we can all get ****** up. After anxiously waiting for an hour and a half, my friends started to show up and at the peak, around 7 people showed up which was actually pretty good considering it was Winter break and most of my friends were out of town. I snapchatted the whole thing and made it look really hype without looking like a tryhard and put it on my story to let the ******* that ditched me know that I could invite other people right on the spot and they would still manage to come through.

It was a great night and I was glad there were people that I could rely on once in my life, especially since my whole life I never found anyone I could rely on. It made me realize how cliquey high school is and how unwelcoming most people are to letting others join their friend group. No matter how good of an impression you make, certain people will still push you away if you don't meet their social standards. Anyway, I hope all of you guys have a nice rest of your day. Thank you for reading this.

Some days you have the ability,
others on a shopping spree.
Dressing clean, ultra supreme.

To live is just a dream that only you can see with binoculars.
I live in our own aura, the World and I. Where we can kickback, sleek the ruffles out of our curtains.
With blood sleeking down the glass window pane, the beginning of a crystal clear scheme
with crimson stains.
A passing by expert, I have yet to earn what removed hastes to which I should come to a slower pace.
Push you into my fool, a clown to a stalemate.
Copping everything on a shopping spree, my feet don’t touch the ground, they elevate.

Now I’m trying to jam using these hands, but one grips at fear.
I don’t have time for tainted misused feelings.

I have to make them squeal for me. Hide in the bushes, they want to be seen with me. Using correct of muscle, I hold me. Carrying all these packages, I’m the one you want.

Uhh..
(baby come through, & come chill wit me..3)..yeah..baby come chill wit me..(come through5)..come chill wit me, Ayee, ( girl what you tryna do,Yeah2)..come chill wit me,Yeah..(what you tryna do girl2)..come chill wit me baby what you tryna do..(come through3)..Yeah baby come (chill wit me5)..baby yeah.. (come through3)..& (come chill wit me3)..come through,..

Babygirl yeah what's good , I know dat you are really in to me & I'm feeling you too,..Babygirl Yeah I see you & you looking cute, your so beautiful, Oooo, boo you got my heart jumping outta my chest beating so fast like I just took 50 pulls from a ****..Ohh, Babygirl you be boosting up my high like a newport, girl your love is so strong, baby your love got me strunged,..Babygirl what you tryna do,..Babygirl come through, kickback wit me Yeah..relax wit me, let's **** & smoke some good ****..I know that's what you tryna do girl..girl (Yeah..what you tryna do 2)...wit me..come through & then  baby we can see.. yeah (come through3)..

Aye, girl what you tryna do..stop playing games & chasing after these **** boys..You need to spray some raid to keep them lames away from ya, because you mines, Yeah girl you my boo, girl I know exactly what you need & want you need a King, Uhh you want a real man to help flourish yo dreams, baby let me plant my seed in you, & I really mean that boo, let's start our own kingdom, & family BabyGirl so come through & hang wit me baby..I'll teach you how to live freer girl,..You that type of woman I'll let sit on my face, Babygirl yeah, I wanna drink you, like tea..,&
I ain't even tryna be a player no I ain't just ryhming game to ya, I really mean what I say, Yeah everything that is written is true..,Yeah boo, for sure..Uhh, so..

(Come through4)..Yeah..Yeah..(girl what you tryna do2)..Uhh,..(come through4)..(Yeah2)..come through & come chill wit me,Yeah..chill wit me,girl
I'll show you how a real man suppose to do you so come chill wit me Yeah..(baby come through2)..(come through2)..Aye

Babygirl bring yo **** *** over, & let me undress ya, I wanna hit it from the front, I wanna hit from the side, & I wanna get the back to..**** I'm feeling really freaky girl, I wanna caress you girl I really care for you..Yeah
, I might just lick yo *******, Imma ******* so good, Imma put you in a coma,,no ruthies,Uhh..Imma blow that good kush up in yo nose in the morning, & I bet you'll wake up from it, girl I know yo back hurting, & legs so sore to ****, I got you have spasming,baby just let the good smoke relax ya,Aye..Uhh..

Yeah that's what Imma do to you when you come over, boo, baby so come through..Oooo, I wanna *** you up girl, Yeah that's what Imma do..to you..Uhh, Imma ******* so good, Yeah girl, Imma ******* so good..Oooo,yeah I wanna please you so baby..(come through3)..Yeah come through..(girl what you tryna do2)..Yeah what you tryna do,..(come through, Yeah3)..(come through....3)..Ooo,

Aye baby, Imma call you , to come through & when you get to me girl, don't be shy at all Noo, baby I wanna see what you all about, yeah girl, show me  what that mouth can do Ooo,..Uhh, baby let me be that *****, I said let me be yo *****, yeah let me be yo best friend, no friends wit benefits, I want you to be my wifey,..Yeah I want you forever & ever baby..
Yeah girl let me be yo man, babygirl..tease me, Yeah dance & strip for a real *****, yeah show me what you all about, Yeah I wanna see what you about, Yeah..so baby..(come through11)..Ooo
Yeah girl what you tryna do, girl what you been up to..baby..(come through3)...

Oooo,what you tryna do Yeah..girl what you tryna do yeah..what you been up to..BabyGirl.. (Come through4)..Yeah girl, what you tryna do, let's make a move now,..
Yeah let's make our own movie baby..just..(come through3)..Babygirl..Yeah..(come through8)..baby Yeah..(come through3)..Yeah come through.. Girl, what you been up to, baby what you tryna do..,
(girl Yeah, what you tryna do3)..
Just (come through..3)
Ooo..Yeah..(come through..*3)

Some people say Im mad I just blame the L-RAD
Attacked by services syndicate post grad
Breaking the code of conduct that's sad
Criminal cause nullify's the collaborative ad
All privileged storm troopers got more than I have
Is the conscience alive while watching that sat-nav?
As a key worker your care is what we have
But straying for a kickback is a dent & bad
The mental health stigma is the foot soldiers weapon
Labelling us mentally ill with the DSM con
Exclaiming we're mental while the victim is alone
Stigma comes from the compound hear us groan
Hearing me everywhere have traits of a stalker
Attacking innocents with energy weapons lawbreaker
Violating human rights piggy back hijacker
The conspiracy hypothesis is the startler
Whats the biological molecular structure
Of a mental health disorder
A caucus of people of who can shout louder
Followed by misrepresentation from a reporter

Unload your vetted earnings
    in the collection baskets,
small price to pay 
    for holy water's kickback,
God thundered an indignant snort
    'pon gold filled prospered coffers      
within corporate excesses                 
   of enriched gaudy churches
wondering when HIS word
  had begotten misconstrued
     in clergy's interpretations
      of powers' self-aggrandizement
       and pontificating gratification;

whilst the huddled masses
    were starving midst the pews

He made a gun out of his finger and thumb, and ****** his hand back as if representing the kickback of a pistol.
If it was just his hand then why did my white shoes become speckled red, and why did the light fleet from his eyes?
It's etched into my memory, the day it became more than a joke, the day it wasn't laughs that followed, but instead smoke.
The sick part is, I still have those shoes, they're sitting by my front door stained brown from dry blood.
I'm not sure why I kept them, maybe it's because that's all I have left of my brother.

Billowed and pasted, rollicked and wasted,
the night takes hold and Samantha, you remember her,
she's smoking again. This is her last pack though.
Drinks poured. Drinks spilled. Kate and I are talking
like people with scheduled late afternoon love affairs. There's
a car alarm going off in the distance. I love this blouse. Is it new?
No. It looks new. I love your perfume. You aren't wearing any?
Must be a natural—and the first to arrive at the party, Chris and
Evan, they're the first to leave, and we listen intently as one, or maybe both, tumble down the stairs. There should be waivers for second floor
apartment parties. Kate, you deserve so—I know. I know. You've got this light. Jesus. I'm just saying. Is it radiant? Yes, it's radiant. And they're lighting their drinks on fire now in the kitchen, some concoction of amaretto and 151 and a kickback of Coors. The flames reflect in their eyes, their cheeks a soft amber, and most of them are smiling, not sincerely, but when was the last time you could give yourself over completely to joy? There's a siren in the distance. Someone says they're coming for us. I'm going to the bathroom. Do you need help? And there's this ceiling fan with LCD Christmas bulbs strung around the blades. A myriad of claustrophobic yellows and whites and blues. Have you seen that video of the ****** having a baby? And he brings it up on his phone. Someone says, Oh my god I love this song from the bathroom. I hadn't noticed the music before now. Drink this. What is it? You'll see. And Samantha she says she's got to step outside for a second. And someone drops a hookah coal on the beige carpet. There goes the deposit. There's incense. There's a Scentsy. There's Febreeze being sprayed liberally. Can you drive? Can you? Do you want to? You know? I've ate a lot today. The songs keep getting skipped. Parquet Courts, Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie, Chvrches, Miley Cyrus—wait, wait put on some SWIFTY. We're going to fire up in my closet if you want to join. It's a walk-in. Evan's back now. He kicks a mirrorball across the kitchen tile with Chris, who's also back now. Where's Samantha? She's smoking. She shouldn't be alone. You remember last—That won't happen again. I'm just saying. Well, you can stop saying. Sirens again. Closer. We're in the walk-in. Kate tugs on my sleeve. I take a pull off the bronze pinch hitter. Do little circles with my head. ****, she says. What? It all starts fading out, the rush of dark, the rush of light. Someone says trash can. Sirens. I'm just trying to—Shut up. I'm just trying to—Shut up.

On a dark and stormy night,
I was born out of a place without any lights
A nurse and doctor looked at me less
More than they'd expect a child to fix a world—yet being a mess
The clouds were heavy, heaven was empty
And I tricked myself that it was because the Lord had sent me
An angel was with me, but still with a devil within me
Question of sin by a seed, growing like a black willow tree
I was born a writer; with no right to be inspiring
In spite of things, my desire is to speak all the right things

To say you'd stack your success in columns
Sort of feels common; knowledge to mind
All your steps, like you have mind powers
Less successful in the things I did, all uneventful
Quite dreadful, of a sucky life with a hint of menthol
These opinions put over my head all affect my mental
Deep pressed, feeling the pressures of always being depressed
So hard to wear your heart on sleeves, when you wear a vest

With this self opposition, and man's superiority competition
Sometimes forgetting you're Christian, and it's composition
With all the respect for all our women, their first time christen
And with the guidance of someone else's wisdom
To avoid all those mistakes, and repetition

Who else do I need to show respect, for respect back
For being young comes with baggage your adult self will
have to unpack. Getting kicked in your past,
For wanting to kickback and relax;
As you've never completed a difficult task
That an adult never had the time to ask or surpass

That was my childhood, putting me in a foul mood
And life's birds of prey looked at me as child food
Still growing in a pretty beating moment, and it empowers
Because I wouldn't be me without reminiscing on my
hearts and flowers.

Hopeless is true,  I listen despite
Ears embrace footfall from the pitch of the night
I tumble slow and reach below to extinguish a candlelight glow
The edges fade to border blue, I whisper soft forging words, untrue, my simple lonely," baby I love you."
But my imaginations walking is soon shattered by a knocking and I find my door unlocking.
Red gates of illusion crack sensitive eyes today as the door slowly swings my way and you say, as you drop your sack of black,  that earlier today you don't remember why you felt the lack of my ok to just drop in and say hey. Kickback relax.
How in your brain I find a knowledge that laid in mine.
Justifiable ?  Unlikely pliable.  Oh I see its a feminine fog. With swaying hand I cut this smog, smoke clears, visions scare me and she  eminates a distraught , Jeremy.
Now clear to earthly eyes a shadowed woman whose thoughts untie words from subtle lips confused words so often outright abused.
Your actions all imply that your words are lies.
I remember the nights I cried. My loss of youthful pride.
I volley quickly my reply as your offer I deny.
Hopeless is true.

Fay can see Baruch
from the window
of the living room
down on the area

of grass below
he is alone
sitting on one
of the bomb shelters

left over
from the war
she peers down at him
taking in

the cowboy hat
the silver looking
6 shooter toy gun
he seems

to be cleaning
she wishes
she was there
with him

but her father
says she is to stay in
and learn about the saints
and said he will

quiz her later
when he gets home
from work
about them to see

what she has learnt
the book
is on the chair
unopened

a bookmark
of St Benedict
lies on top
her mother

is in the kitchen
preparing soup
she knows her mother
would turn a blind eye

if she wanted
to go out
but they both know
that her father

would punish her
if he caught her out
especially
with Baruch

the Jew Boy
as her father calls him
the killer of Our Lord
he often says

although Baruch
denies being involved
in any way
she hopes Baruch

will look up
at her window
and see her
he has put his gun

in the holster hanging
from the belt
of his jeans
and holds a rifle

bought for him
for his birthday
he aims at the sky
and twirls around

pretending to shoot
pigeons flying
over head
she watches him

as he aims
at the coal wharf
where the coal carts
are being loaded

with coal
from chutes above
her father doesn't like
Baruch even though

Baruch always smiles
and says shalom
to him if he passing
her father on the stairs

of the flats
Baruch says
her father is a schmuck
but she doesn't know

what that means
but if Baruch said it  
it must be a nice term
she thinks wiping away

the steamed up glass
where she has
breathed on it
she blows him a kiss

from the palm
of her thin hand
he doesn't know
but he'll get it

any how she knows
he aims at
the steam train
passing over

the bridge
by the Duke of Wellington pub
she smiles as he does
the kickback

from his rifle
the train passes
unharmed
the driver unaware

he has been fired upon
by a cowboy
from the grass
she eyes him

determinedly
wants him to look up
at her window
he lifts the rifle

to the sky again
and fires
then he pauses  
lowers his rifle

and stares at her window
she waves
he looks
she waves frantically

he looks away
she bites a lip
he stares up
at her window

and beckons her down
with a wave
of his hand
she waves

crossing her hands
as if to say
can't come
he gazes

and then waves
and blows a kiss
from his hand
upwards

then he climbs down
from the bomb shelter
and disappears
the grass is empty

he has gone
the book of saints
lies on the chair
unopened

she goes
from the window
and picks it up
and opens

and begins to read
sensing
a good portion
of her 11 year old

girl's heart
bleeds.

Three-two-one, Boom!
Said the guns,
Of Eric and Dylan.


Eric portrayed as mastermind,
Dylan as the follower, the disciple;
Violence: the school of after-hours.


Just say no to sawed-offs,
They proclaimed, laughing;
But by the end they were saying, hell yes.


Eric's nose broken by the kickback,
As he played a game of hide and seek
Under a library table.


But the fun wore off, alas;
The fantasy lived out was not as fulfilling
As all the dreams they'd shared.


So they went on to hell together
To see what trouble they could raise there-
And left us all holding the bag.

Although, I’m mindful of the President’s tweets
and the pundits’ chatter;
And, while I keep up with the world news that matters;
Amid the pandemic, the politics, and the police brutality;
I often settle my spirit on . . . poetry.

I take some time.
I free my mind.
S l o w l y, I sip from a glass of smooth merlot wine.  
I relax,
I kickback,
and I ride the rhythm of the rhymes.

Because after a bit,
the constant “Breaking News,”
the quarantine,
the vanishing Lysol disinfectant spray amid covid19,
the social-distancing,
the quest for a vaccine,
the protest rallies,
the unsettling maskless scenes,
and the viewing of America’s racial unrest,
just invites unwanted and needless mental stress.

So, during these anxious days of shelter in place,
I retreat to a quiet and pleasing space,
where literature calms all worries within.
I find a book. Take a sip.
And, I warmly welcome fiction like a cherished friend.

One night, one evening
Girl, scared
O’re the toilet she’s heaving

Ok
Refrain
Another shot
On the way
Methane
*******
Ecstasy in her, broke veins
Insane
Propane
She puts down the bottle to find her
Left brain
Mundane
How to drown out
This pain
This pain

Her thought train
Now just an empty track
Please Father I pray
Give this girl her life back

Hey but,
This time around
She’s gonna be alright
This time around
She’s gonna put up a fight
This time around
She’s ready to ignite
Yea this time around
She’s gonna get it right

Sayin’

This time around
She’s gonna be alright
This time around
She’s gonna take it to the heights
This time around
She’s ready to rewrite
Yea this time around
She’s gonna get it right

Comeback
Icepack
She’s feeling around
Pitchblack
Missed that
Take a deep breath
Fill her air sack
Kickback
Relax

Stop time
Rewind
To the gods above
She whined
But they could only sit there and laugh
At the suffering of their favorite little handicraft

One second
from a blast
From the past
“Why me” she would ask
She would ask
Agast
Harassed
Daddy put his hand on her back
Abashed
She lashed
Against the bed
roughcast

Night after night
And day after day
Their little secret
Would never ever walk away

Down the street
Watch her feet
Clippings on the concrete
Retreat
So sweet
Calm her little heartbeat
Repeat safe
Repeat scared
Find comfort in ******* on her hair

Get away from him
Get away from them
She ain’t never gonna go back again
She’s on her own now
It’s up to her
Mindset switch
Emotional transfer

Ain’t nothing but a reflex you see
Little girl grown up
She drinks away reality

I dread being your target.

You taught me
to stand by my gun,
and yet,
you've always
called the shots
long before
they were fired.

Pull the trigger,
there she goes.
Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but you never
mentioned bullets.

As I closed my eyes,
I reverted back to a place of peace.
A place sheltered by a wall my mother gave to me.
I watched myself dream
lucidly
I ran through the fields of knee high grass, passed a kickback and jumped into the daises as soft as a kiss upon the lips.
I was happy with the sun.
Her beloved friend wrapped her arms around me and loved me more than I loved my tea..
I grew angry as the teacher tapped me for one last note.

Hopeless is true,  I listen despite
Ears embrace footfall from the pitch of the night
I tumble slow and reach below to extinguish a candlelight glow
The edges fade to border blue, I whisper soft forging words, untrue, my simple lonely," baby I love you."
But my imaginations walking is soon shattered by a knocking and I find my door unlocking.
Red gates of illusion crack sensitive eyes today as the door slowly swings my way and you say, as you drop your sack of black,  that earlier today you don't remember why you felt the lack of my ok to just drop in and say hey. Kickback relax.
How in your brain I find a knowledge that laid in mine.
Justifiable ?  Unlikely pliable.  Oh I see its a feminine fog. With swaying hand I cut this smog, smoke clears, visions scare me and she  eminates a distraught , Jeremy.
Now clear to earthly eyes a shadowed woman whose thoughts untie words from subtle lips confused words so often outright abused.
Your actions all imply that your words are lies.
I remember the nights I cried. My loss of youthful pride.
I volley quickly my reply as your offer I deny.
Hopeless is true.

Im going way up, success higher than you'll ever be, tryna **** the pain, but babe, you're your biggest enemy. I tried to help you through it, tried to be your biggest fan, tried to hear the music, but the **** just wasn't there.

See, I couldn't get anywhere with your weight on top  -wait you were always on the bottom -oops, I forgot, we're talking about your pride and your selfish ways -I was a ******* angel living in your hellish daze.

Don't get me wrong, I loved you from the very start, but the best thing you've ever done for me was "break" this heart. You shot me where it hurts, left me bleeding out, and now you 'bout to feel that kickback while I resurrect.

Stronger than ever, broken but rising like the sun, everything I'm doing is leading me to number 1. I thought you was protecting me, but you were holding me back. I could've loved you for ever, thanks for saving me from that.

I want to thank you for all that you've done to me cause now I know what I need. I know what I need. I love who you used to be, and now you're no good to me. so, i'm gone.

NJ2016

a night out
good company
high vibes
drunken thoughts
snazzy jams
living my best life

This Pain
What Can We Gain From This Pain
My Melanin Is A Weapon
It's Feared In Those Who Don't Know Me
I Can Walk And Feel The Earth Around Me
She's Crying And Wishes To Be Laid At Rest
My Mind Is In Loops
While Society Trying To Fit Me Into Stereotypical Groups
I Loose  Myself.....
I Try To Sit Up Straight & Speak Proper , I Bleach My Skin , & Straighten My Hair For If I Am Not Me Am I Already Dead......
Powerful Kings I've Seen Sooo Many Laid At Rest
Powerful Kings With Strong Minds & Intellect
Fell Into Societies Trap , Now You Feel The Need To Trap, To Sip On Syrup & Kickback
Instead Of Planting Your Feet And Feel The Earth Grow
For You Are My Kings & We Are Your Queens , We Need Love
Stand As One & Sacrifice Sanity
Break The Chains
Before We Lose What's Near
Break The Chains
For I See Your Worth Your Strength & Your Power
For You Are The Kings & Queens Of The Everlasting Hour
This Pain.....
What Am I To Do With This Pain
Feel From The Dirt Of Our Fallen
Inhale & Connect With Them
Take Their Legacy And Grow
For This Pain Shall Not End If We Do Not Begin
Stand Up And Rewrite Your Fate In The "Free Land Of AmeriKKKa!!"
      -KBell #theunjustmind

Oh there's plenty of things
That are wrong with me
I desire to do better
To make my flaws new strengths
To not flop at the first sign of changing weather

I've got some screws in my head loose
And an attention span shorter than the kickback on a black tre deuce
Looks wise I'm about as appealing as a dead spruce
And that's just my looks, not my personality which is *******

I swear I'm too nice for my own good. And my head moves faster than the gap in my face
I've got a **** memory, even if I've known you for years I'd still forget your face

But


I'm flawed and cracked like a Thursday night  in a love shack
And I'm trying to find strength that sometimes isn't there
I get so frustrated with myself I wanna pull out my short hair...

But through all this, I'm still standing and I know one day I'll get there.

The lion stepped out into the sun
And rubbed his side against a tree.
Surveying his exhibit at the animal park,
He said, "This is the life for me!

"Dinner is served on a regular basis;
I never have to hunt for my food.
I'm served the tastiest horsemeat and mutton.
I even eat rabbit when I'm in the mood.

"There's no fighting to defend my territory;
That to me is a huge relief.
My kickback style might surprise some
And go against popular belief.

"The lady lions share my feelings;
They like my pomp, my manner, my style.
At the same time, they can appear
A bit stand-offish once in a while.

"I can be lazy and sleep for hours,
Or if I choose, I'll romp and play.
And when I start to feel a bit frisky--
Well, THAT'S a topic for another day.

"My friends in the wild suffer from afflictions--
An illness, an infection from a small ****….
If I catch a cold or need attention,
The humans are here to help in a flash.

"Visitors sometimes get on my nerves
As they stand and gawk and stare.
But when that happens, I can always
Ignore them or go off and hide in my lair.

"Or I can lie here and stare at the humans
And fantasize and imagine how great
It could be one day to find
A delicious human on my plate.

"I remain the king of the beasts;
The other animals still quake when I roar.
(Some of the non-differentiating types
Even tremble when I snore.)

"Ah, yes," (yawn) "I have it easy.
Although many would NOT agree.
As far as THIS lion is concerned,
My life is really the life for me."

- by Bob B

there's a place
                               illuminated
by thousands of shining stars
where Heaven looks down in a kickback smile
where your drift over the air like a goddess holding an apple

and it's a place just for you and me where
no one else will ever be allowed entrance through the invisible gates
one day we will go there to sprint among the flowers and drink from the Nectar a sign saying
Welcome to the Garden
you smile and the flowers rise and the animals run
how peaceful how beautiful this thing this dream this
(give me your heart, dear)

We came from all over the land
To show our hand and our signs
And resign from the silent crowd
That allowed this filth to control
And dig a hole in our Constitution;
To point out the fools that choose
To use our schools to abuse us
With their taking of bribes and
Payoffs for scribes in the media.

It was an amazing time to climb
Off our sofas and it was thrilling
Even with the wind chilling us.
But these kids, friends and families
Had grown tired of homilies by crooks
Justifying what they took from us
And throwing us all under the bus
In the name of patriotism and then
Giving back in nepotism to their
Friend's foreign bank accounts,
As well as a hefty kickback account,
Which amounts to the same thing.

The nation admired the children
They had sired should move to fight
For what is right when leaders
Turned out to be followers of wrong.
They lifted voice in songs and chants
And shocked the pants off mediocrity
By standing in all solemnity to face
The worst of our race who ruled
That murdering children ranked less
Than the mess our country has begun
By protecting horrible guns more
And giving children in school
A much lower overall score.

Not often enough, we wake up
As a country, and stand up
To picket, protest and crowd
Around the symbols we have found
That mean we are being swindled
And the innocent are being starved
And carved up and killed daily
So our leaders can go gaily on
With business as usual; a kind of
Tone-deaf musical for the twisted.

But we stopped liking the lyrics
And cynics doing the singing
With bad voices too loudly,
So, we proudly declare a mistrial
That has gone on too long a while
And needs to quit. Those in power
Need to sit down at home
And leave the real people alone
And we at home need to step in
And begin this freedom and equality
Promise and fulfillment for real
And apply it to the common weal.

keep the top ten in my bio
you can check it
if you want to

got my head in the chamber

i split my choices
pour some from my cup
im still life im up
for these flames long dead and gone

we take off this mask
walk weak from the doorways
take up my severed finger
print nine copies

if ya love me
give me power
im good for keepin secrets
and naughty messages

i make the digits in ya bank accounts

dont descibe me
in god we trust
all-seeing eye
owl i trust

scrape away my image

im inside a time capsule
secure in my possession
ignorant but factual
diver in my psyche
cycle through me fakin
take the paychecks
but im not tripping on i keep

kickback stimulus
keep a clean coater in my desk
black envelopes and all the rest
if ya own me for a picture
on the deck i must confess

a lie to make believe
and keep the truth and toss the key
and keep me in the lucid dream.

I speak on conscious thoughts, not consciousness,
Because life was hard knock; now common sense,

I speak on love because its understanding was something I sought,
This information came easy to me,
Over time it became apparent as to what reality would be if the state of now was commonly perceived,

I love you, you loved me,
Your understanding of time created separation,
I see me, you see me,
This space is defined by our declaration,
When I accept, the cause is respect,
So this affect is without hesitation,
Your legislation leads to interrogation; your moral implementations is the cause of devastation,
Eradication defines identification if obligations exist in observation;
If there’s fragmentation within the foundation, the revelation is far from liberation,
I’m saying, if one is all and it is all you see,
What’s perceived is constituted by classification,
Because it’s the only way we can correlate comprehension and what is experienced throughout the human civilization,
This is why we have generations and translation,
We are all experiencing the same thing,
However our education on what is, is hindering our flow of communication;
We’re reading the same book, on different pages, and expressing information in one sided conversations,
This is the explanation in why interpretations are resulting in situations with more confrontation than consideration,
It is acceptance; appreciation that gives us salvation, not justification,
It is what leads us to cultivation and congregation,
I do not speak of propagation, I speak of cooperation,
If there’s optimization in socialization,
It’s inevitable that this cause result in a happy nation,

Patience…

This time will come,
Until then I’ll remain over here,
I can not indulge in the contamination of fear,

Friends disconnected,
Reality says we drift paths,
Life so fast, so furious,
Hoping I don’t miss that,
There’s two options daily,
Equations making zigzags,
Hallux playing ticktack,
Ballots; playing witchcraft,
If I’m shooting for life, Kit-Kat won’t bring me a second if my weapon got a kickback,
To dads too furious; I’m thinking which half?
Full of anger or full of energy?
Is the outcome an act of violence or intensity?
Children are the byproduct of our unconscious thoughts and actions,
We speak of density to serenity;
It’s the backspin of choice that equated to offspring seeking the experience of amenity,
We see enemies and search for entities,
When will we see identity in search of remedies, after asking the question;
“How do I discover the inner me?”

My home was this world,
As a kid I felt invited,
Bodies around me aged and became divided,
Mental wars do to external environments,
I see the selling of souls like,
Individuality must go; do to inherited obligations the trading of an expression became a requirement,
If this is the only manuscript on living; I ain’t buying it,
Call me defiant man, I personally don’t share desire in expression confinement,


I live life according to my design;
Refinement,
I live life supporting those who are consciously seeking alignment,
I live life exporting the distortions accumulated through time, cause be of time spent ,
I live life rewarding my mind,
That’s excitement,
I am an advocate; I speak of conscious thoughts,
Call it enlightenment.