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"invalidated" poems
i always feel invalidated and robbed of the comfort of knowing that i'd choose that ultimatum if it was ever a choice but without that i have nothing to fall on except knowing that i have to endure and that is the only ultimatum
0
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 6:31 PM UTC
suicide
He's broken, he's in pieces, he's trapped, in a black hole He's crying, he's heartbroken, he's dying of loneliness He's confused, his mind is overloaded, his todger is dropping off He's this and that and that and this projecting your ******* fears and insecurities on him Hahaha...hahaha...hahaha...hahaha...hahaha You know what....He's NOT....he's laughing at you He's happy that you now realize there are still men out there who transcend your ******* stereotyping and imbecilic assumptions . He's still laughing because he now sees for ******* real how immature and mentally underdeveloped a lot of you are and how so petty, mediocre and easy to manipulate you are Not to mention how weak, spineless and unable to handle pressure so many of you are. He laughing because you just act without fully thinking You are a shallow lot, cowardly, infantile and narrow minded You lack sound reasoning capacity and a lot of you are neurotic He's laughing because most believe anything they are told Unquestioning drones like a Labrador thrown a stick Go fetch, off he runs, retrieve stick, pat on the head, good boy Just simple minded followers. He laughing because he's attained all he wanted Got a good education, good self understanding, good morality sensitivity, compassion, empathy, confidence and honesty A well drilled man, adaptable, flexible, courageous and brave A MODERN DAY SPARTAN. He's laughing because you can't ******* take that away He's laughing because he's shown you how a proper man is He's laughing because he's invalidated your stereotypical assumptions, your prejudices, your bigotry and your ignorance He's laughing because you have confirmed your inferiority exposed your fears and inadequacies and make others see how damaged and vindictive you are He's laughing because out of all only one woman has shown magnanimity and she didn't belong to the class of the mediocres Which proves the point that mediocrity goes hand in hand with ignorance, fear and lack of Dignity and Integrity. And he's laughing because he's got chutzpah a big package and a hell of "tener cojones" hahaha...hahaha...hahaha...hahaha [email protected] Sept 2018,Allrightsreserved.
0
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 9:54 AM UTC
Broken Tungsten Space Traveller.....
He's broken, he's in pieces, he's trapped, in a black hole He's crying, he's heartbroken, he's dying of loneliness He's confused, his mind is overloaded, his todger is dropping off He's this and that and that and this projecting your ******* fears and insecurities on him Hahaha...hahaha...hahaha...hahaha...hahaha You know what....He's NOT....he's laughing at you He's happy that you now realize there are still men out there who transcend your ******* stereotyping and imbecilic assumptions . He's still laughing because he now sees for ******* real how immature and mentally underdeveloped a lot of you are and how so petty, mediocre and easy to manipulate you are Not to mention how weak, spineless and unable to handle pressure so many of you are. He laughing because you just act without fully thinking You are a shallow lot, cowardly, infantile and narrow minded You lack sound reasoning capacity and a lot of you are neurotic He's laughing because most believe anything they are told Unquestioning drones like a Labrador thrown a stick Go fetch, off he runs, retrieve stick, pat on the head, good boy Just simple minded followers. He laughing because he's attained all he wanted Got a good education, good self understanding, good morality sensitivity, compassion, empathy, confidence and honesty A well drilled man, adaptable, flexible, courageous and brave A MODERN DAY SPARTAN. He's laughing because you can't ******* take that away He's laughing because he's shown you how a proper man is He's laughing because he's invalidated your stereotypical assumptions, your prejudices, your bigotry and your ignorance He's laughing because you have confirmed your inferiority exposed your fears and inadequacies and make others see how damaged and vindictive you are He's laughing because out of all only one woman has shown magnanimity and she didn't belong to the class of the mediocres Which proves the point that mediocrity goes hand in hand with ignorance, fear and lack of Dignity and Integrity. And he's laughing because he's got chutzpah a big package and a hell of "tener cojones" hahaha...hahaha...hahaha...hahaha [email protected] Sept 2018,Allrightsreserved.
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42
she accepted people’s bad behavior, because she thought, they went through difficult things. yet, she invalidated her own feelings, even if she knew what she went through.
0
Apr 17, 2021
Apr 17, 2021 at 7:49 PM UTC
kind girl
I’ve been treating myself like there is something very wrong with me, particularly my emotions. Every emotion I get (most often, my “negative” ones), I’ve been monitoring and trying to control, when all I simply needed to do was to allow for their expression and not do anything. For a long, long time I’ve considered myself to be someone ill and in need of healing; what a difference a label makes. To be “ill”, in essence requires that someone “do” something to fix themselves as a “problem”. The very nature of thinking yourself “ill” promotes action and effort. I’m glad I don’t go to a dr, can you imagine how many other disorders and syndromes I would have to “fight” and contend with. A lot of the time when someone gets traumatised, or undergoes some sort of negative event, they always look to the happy part of themselves as the “real” them, or at least the part of them deemed to be acceptable enough to be “real”. They lament losing the “real” them. But who are people really? Are they only who they are when they’re happy? Does the extent of one’s being only pertain to their happiness? What if a part of me is in despair, what if a part of me is in intense fear and anxiety — aren’t these parts of me also real and equally valid as happiness? Particularly if they’re perfectly natural reactions to intense suffering and pain. These parts of me scream for catharsis after having been invalidated for a long time and instead of allowing them, I've condemned myself as being ill for feeling them. This is why society is in part sick; repression is healthy and expression is deemed ill. We drug away “negative” emotions for fear we are somehow damaged for harbouring them. From now on, I am no longer “ill” — what a difference such a perception makes in how you treat yourself. Whatever you do is acceptable, whatever you do is allowed and expression is an inevitability. My intense sadness is not a problem, my intense pain is not a problem, my intense fear is not a problem — do you know how freeing such an attitude towards self is?
0
Nov 6, 2016
Nov 6, 2016 at 8:37 AM UTC
07.11.16 Journal Excerpt: Mental "Illness"
I’ve been treating myself like there is something very wrong with me, particularly my emotions. Every emotion I get (most often, my “negative” ones), I’ve been monitoring and trying to control, when all I simply needed to do was to allow for their expression and not do anything. For a long, long time I’ve considered myself to be someone ill and in need of healing; what a difference a label makes. To be “ill”, in essence requires that someone “do” something to fix themselves as a “problem”. The very nature of thinking yourself “ill” promotes action and effort. I’m glad I don’t go to a dr, can you imagine how many other disorders and syndromes I would have to “fight” and contend with. A lot of the time when someone gets traumatised, or undergoes some sort of negative event, they always look to the happy part of themselves as the “real” them, or at least the part of them deemed to be acceptable enough to be “real”. They lament losing the “real” them. But who are people really? Are they only who they are when they’re happy? Does the extent of one’s being only pertain to their happiness? What if a part of me is in despair, what if a part of me is in intense fear and anxiety — aren’t these parts of me also real and equally valid as happiness? Particularly if they’re perfectly natural reactions to intense suffering and pain. These parts of me scream for catharsis after having been invalidated for a long time and instead of allowing them, I've condemned myself as being ill for feeling them. This is why society is in part sick; repression is healthy and expression is deemed ill. We drug away “negative” emotions for fear we are somehow damaged for harbouring them. From now on, I am no longer “ill” — what a difference such a perception makes in how you treat yourself. Whatever you do is acceptable, whatever you do is allowed and expression is an inevitability. My intense sadness is not a problem, my intense pain is not a problem, my intense fear is not a problem — do you know how freeing such an attitude towards self is?
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3
My last long distance relationship was with YaHWeH And we’re on break But when I can’t help myself I drunk text him Thumbs fumbling like they’ve forgotten Keys I used to know with eyes closed “Why do you give me emotions If they are only going to be doubted? Invalidated continuously? What would it be like to feel something Without being punished? Prayer emoji, prayer emoji, Cry emoji, upside down smile.” And when the emotional puking is done And I’ve resigned myself to silence And acid green Listerine The universe chimes “One new message.” Taking a deep breath, Pushing down apprehension And the nauseous excitement Of a boy texting back Read. “They are not always thus. Each time someone was there In your corner, Maybe not the most voices Maybe not the loudest But there. You are the master of your destiny, Love The master of your punishment You do not have to feel punished You are rejoice made flesh.” Peaceful smile, peaceful smile Kiss emoji.” I pause, reading it once, Then twice, Swallowing then nodding Keys now vaguely familiar. “Sometimes I forget. Shy emoji, shrug emoji, Monkey covering eyes.” “God is typing……” “That is what I’m here for.” Kiss emoji, smile emoji Blushing beaming smile.”
0
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 2:53 PM UTC
Prayer Emoji
Before I begin, let me make one thing perfectly clear: Everything I’ve ever given a **** about, I’ve been unabashedly critical of. So believe me when I say that I appreciate ever word out of your mouth I’ve spanned the distance to hear. You have all these years that you hang over my head, dangling them, subtly mocking from the end of a thread. Yes, darling, you’re well aged and well-read but I’ll be ****** if I will let my experiences be invalidated by a few years and your fiery, well-meaning arrogance, let that be heard as it’s said. It’s true that you know me better than most but don’t get it twisted. You sure as hell don’t know me better than me. Pretend all you like that I’m buttered-up and convinced that your life lessons and late night calls have set me free, but you know as well as me that’s a lie fed through your precious mind’s teeth. I boil and I freeze so I know I can stand the heat, but just remember one thing: You’re intense and addictive but baby, the scorpion still stings. And one twin will **** well bite while of your praises the other sings.
0
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 3:45 AM UTC
Scorpio
I have fears – they are very real to me. But contrary to what the some may think, my greatest fears are not rejection and abandonment. My greatest fear is that everyone will continue to turn their heads while victims are screaming. My greatest fear is that survivors will express exactly how they feel, whether verbally, or acting out, and they will continue to be invalidated by being told they need medication and therapy in order to control their behavior, thereby reinforcing what they learned as children. My greatest fear is that victims will continue to be silenced by therapy, or numbed from medication, and the clinicians, the researchers, will continue to ‘theorize’ and develop treatment that, in the long-run, is not helpful because they, themselves were NOT abused and have no idea what really should be done. My greatest fear is that survivors will continue to be lab rats in the development of treatment that is not helpful, they will continue to drop out, time after time, and they will continue to self-harm, ‘repeat the trauma’, and possibly commit suicide because they believe no one cares. My greatest fear is that the statistics will grow and no one will do anything about it because they do not know what to do. These are the facts:              **A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds              More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.              Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.              It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as              such on death certificates.              More than 90% of juvenile ****** abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way.              Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all              religions and at all levels of education.             About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.             About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one             psychological disorder.** And this reflects only what is reported. Imagine what that percentage would be if all of the unreported cases were included. And of the millions of children that survive the abuse, many grow up to be adults who are able to put it behind them, succeed and present themselves as an acceptable member of society, and many of them do not. But what are we DOING about it? When will people stop turning their heads? When will we finally stop, look and listen to these children being abused and to the adults who were abused as children? When will we, society, decide that child abuse, and **** and ****** assault are important, and affect millions of lives every year, and that it can be just as deadly as cancer. When will we finally stop whispering and turning our heads and actually face it and do something to stop it, and effectively treat those who ‘survived’? I hope it happens in my lifetime, and I hope I can make a difference!
0
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 8:36 PM UTC
My Greatest Fear
I have fears – they are very real to me. But contrary to what the some may think, my greatest fears are not rejection and abandonment. My greatest fear is that everyone will continue to turn their heads while victims are screaming. My greatest fear is that survivors will express exactly how they feel, whether verbally, or acting out, and they will continue to be invalidated by being told they need medication and therapy in order to control their behavior, thereby reinforcing what they learned as children. My greatest fear is that victims will continue to be silenced by therapy, or numbed from medication, and the clinicians, the researchers, will continue to ‘theorize’ and develop treatment that, in the long-run, is not helpful because they, themselves were NOT abused and have no idea what really should be done. My greatest fear is that survivors will continue to be lab rats in the development of treatment that is not helpful, they will continue to drop out, time after time, and they will continue to self-harm, ‘repeat the trauma’, and possibly commit suicide because they believe no one cares. My greatest fear is that the statistics will grow and no one will do anything about it because they do not know what to do. These are the facts:              **A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds              More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.              Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.              It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as              such on death certificates.              More than 90% of juvenile ****** abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way.              Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all              religions and at all levels of education.             About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.             About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one             psychological disorder.** And this reflects only what is reported. Imagine what that percentage would be if all of the unreported cases were included. And of the millions of children that survive the abuse, many grow up to be adults who are able to put it behind them, succeed and present themselves as an acceptable member of society, and many of them do not. But what are we DOING about it? When will people stop turning their heads? When will we finally stop, look and listen to these children being abused and to the adults who were abused as children? When will we, society, decide that child abuse, and **** and ****** assault are important, and affect millions of lives every year, and that it can be just as deadly as cancer. When will we finally stop whispering and turning our heads and actually face it and do something to stop it, and effectively treat those who ‘survived’? I hope it happens in my lifetime, and I hope I can make a difference!
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22
Told my feelings were fake Laughed at for crying Brutalized for refusing Depicted as anomalous This is my "home" I exploded, caught a breath as I felt the silencing Crossed volatile environments Misunderstood ephemeral friends Bullied, ostracized Experienced injustice This is school I performed, in the illusion of shutting silencing Living my curiosity Knowledge is my strength Reflexivity makes me grow Embracing my difference This is my refuge I introspected, in the freedom of their paralyzed silencing Meet mind-like people Discovered my emotions Explored my preferences Dug my family history This is my travel I free-fell, as in my trust I hit structural silencing Communicating humbly Nourishing healthy relationships Trusting my positions Affirming my autonomy This is my womanhood Becoming a mother, I urge to gather the pieces for her freedom
0
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 6:13 PM UTC
Invalidated; a quest to freedom
I once read a post that said something along the lines of “I do not trust people who tell me ‘I love you’ and yet do not love themselves.” And that hurt my heart, it really did. Who are you to invalidate my love? Do you not know of the sleepless nights I have spent, laboring over my sins of the day? Knowing that sometimes I may never repent? With past regrets and paranoid overthinking, how do I rest? Do you not know of how I avoid looking in mirrors throughout the day, or how I hate looking at myself in the shower? Don't you know how conflicted I feel when lying naked and vulnerable with my lover? Do you not know what it feels like to apologize for who you are? Or to have all of your efforts and ethics invalidated and dismissed? If you do not trust me then so be it, but do not reject the idea that I can love. I know what it means to have neither hope nor acceptance, I know what it means to regret my existence. I know what it feels like at 4am with all the lights out with the absolute conviction that I am entirely worthless. I know **** well what it feels like to be unloved. Does that not make my love mean that much more?
0
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 5, 2015 at 1:57 AM UTC
Loving Whilst Unloved
Enslaved , enclosed she prays each day Awaiting her prince , who'll whisk her away But the world has run out of knights in shining armours Out of glitter , out of glory , out of glamour Her battles cannot be prayed away Gone are the days she could hideaway So she will have to fight her own fight Come what may , walk through the darkest night For in a world , where her voice is invalidated She writes her own story ..a prince is no longer awaited
0
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 3:46 AM UTC
FIGHTING HER FIGHT
im sad because my brother leaves again in a few weeks and i only saw him twice im sad because i never had a dad im sad because i "recovered" and i hate myself more than before im sad because my medication doesnt work im sad because i have no money im sad because im not good at anything im sad because i have no culture im sad because people are uninformed im sad because im sick im sad because im being invalidated and told to just "get better" im sad because everything feels like its falling apart im sad because i have no god im sad because im lost i wish i could disappear i wish i could find a way to make a way
0
Jan 14, 2022
Jan 14, 2022 at 12:23 AM UTC
reasons im sad
depression is often compared to falling down an endless hole. but it’s actually more like a hot air balloon, launched by those who tell you to change. change your looks, your personality be yourself, they say not like that, they say you let them launch your balloon believing they’re trying to help you fit in and you watch them grow smaller as you slowly rise into the atmosphere until the oxygen grows as thin as the strings holding together your sanity and you panic and scratch at the balloon trying to poke a hole, thinking only about descent, and your fingertips begin to bleed and your wrists are cut on the harsh nylon ropes and you collect scars because you can’t collect your thoughts and all you want to do is fall so you jump and as you’re falling, you feel good. you feel free. but as you plummet towards earth and you can see the ground you begin to regret and spread your arms, desperately flapping but it’s too late and you hit the floor with a sickening, bone shattering crunch then you float back up to the sky that ended you and you see your family friends teachers, everybody who’s ever loved you and maybe even hated you feel the ripples of force as you hit the ground and they scream and rush to your side trying to help trying to do what they tell themselves they would have done if only they had known, if only you had told them but you felt silly and invalidated and you didn’t want anybody to see and you didn’t think they would have saved you so you kept it in and stayed in your balloon until it was too much the oxygen was running out with your will to live but those who are alive cry tears falling as quickly as you did from the sky hitting the ground with splashes nowhere near as loud as the crash that cut your life short running their fingers over the scars that you hid the pain that you endured up there in the atmosphere, hidden among long sleeves and fluffy white clouds and fake smiles and they wonder why they allowed you to go up in the balloon in the first place and they begin to blame not each other, but themselves and some launch balloons of their own telling themselves that they’re just grieving, just wanting to see what you did in your final moments but their balloons spiral out of control and they find themselves falling just as you did
0
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 5:30 PM UTC
Hot Air Balloon
depression is often compared to falling down an endless hole. but it’s actually more like a hot air balloon, launched by those who tell you to change. change your looks, your personality be yourself, they say not like that, they say you let them launch your balloon believing they’re trying to help you fit in and you watch them grow smaller as you slowly rise into the atmosphere until the oxygen grows as thin as the strings holding together your sanity and you panic and scratch at the balloon trying to poke a hole, thinking only about descent, and your fingertips begin to bleed and your wrists are cut on the harsh nylon ropes and you collect scars because you can’t collect your thoughts and all you want to do is fall so you jump and as you’re falling, you feel good. you feel free. but as you plummet towards earth and you can see the ground you begin to regret and spread your arms, desperately flapping but it’s too late and you hit the floor with a sickening, bone shattering crunch then you float back up to the sky that ended you and you see your family friends teachers, everybody who’s ever loved you and maybe even hated you feel the ripples of force as you hit the ground and they scream and rush to your side trying to help trying to do what they tell themselves they would have done if only they had known, if only you had told them but you felt silly and invalidated and you didn’t want anybody to see and you didn’t think they would have saved you so you kept it in and stayed in your balloon until it was too much the oxygen was running out with your will to live but those who are alive cry tears falling as quickly as you did from the sky hitting the ground with splashes nowhere near as loud as the crash that cut your life short running their fingers over the scars that you hid the pain that you endured up there in the atmosphere, hidden among long sleeves and fluffy white clouds and fake smiles and they wonder why they allowed you to go up in the balloon in the first place and they begin to blame not each other, but themselves and some launch balloons of their own telling themselves that they’re just grieving, just wanting to see what you did in your final moments but their balloons spiral out of control and they find themselves falling just as you did
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57
A trinity of three styles one man no religion one morning over a lifetime Temporary (we tat too) Temporary love has no precision definition so if I say love you forever, as I do, know know just know this particular phrase is temporary, unique and forgivable as temporary as our permanent tattoo, the one embellishing you,   the one marking me, the two hearts tat that means we are a tat two If you begin a poem, a love, a tat with temporary, usually, but not always, you have already failed See http://hellopoetry.com/poem/if-you-begin-a-poem-with-i/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Invalidation my living bones, twisted. my words, slurred, disfigured with a panache, that makes the mirror turn away, ashamed invalid. in valid. I have been invalidated, I spit at your too late heroics, unwanted. I spit at myself, for missing the moment, when choice was mine I would have self-destructed, freely, reborn in an act of self-validation, be my own living will, if only I had not been enslaved to my ********** Fear invalidation, the Cain mark of every failed man ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bootyoir three day weekend has commenced. it's con-occlusion now in rapid descent mini-vacation, maxi-sensation. the only question remaining, present but debated, as yet undecided, whose turn is it to answer the doorbell, when the delivery guy brings our break~fast for it is forbidden, a transgress, to egress from the bootyoir, except for the call of nature, and naturally, I am calling you, comeback comeback hungry time it's time we co-authored some bootyoir poetry
0
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 7:58 AM UTC
Trinity: Temporary Invalidation Bootyoir
A trinity of three styles one man no religion one morning over a lifetime Temporary (we tat too) Temporary love has no precision definition so if I say love you forever, as I do, know know just know this particular phrase is temporary, unique and forgivable as temporary as our permanent tattoo, the one embellishing you,   the one marking me, the two hearts tat that means we are a tat two If you begin a poem, a love, a tat with temporary, usually, but not always, you have already failed See http://hellopoetry.com/poem/if-you-begin-a-poem-with-i/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Invalidation my living bones, twisted. my words, slurred, disfigured with a panache, that makes the mirror turn away, ashamed invalid. in valid. I have been invalidated, I spit at your too late heroics, unwanted. I spit at myself, for missing the moment, when choice was mine I would have self-destructed, freely, reborn in an act of self-validation, be my own living will, if only I had not been enslaved to my ********** Fear invalidation, the Cain mark of every failed man ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bootyoir three day weekend has commenced. it's con-occlusion now in rapid descent mini-vacation, maxi-sensation. the only question remaining, present but debated, as yet undecided, whose turn is it to answer the doorbell, when the delivery guy brings our break~fast for it is forbidden, a transgress, to egress from the bootyoir, except for the call of nature, and naturally, I am calling you, comeback comeback hungry time it's time we co-authored some bootyoir poetry
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76
I shouldn’t really be writing this naïve drivel. I have no idea at all of the hardships these desperate people go through. I wanted to imagine how it must feel though to finally find yourself in front of an uncaring bureaucracy. Obviously I, a secure white Englishman, whose history goes back hundreds of years in this my home country, am far too safe to understand. My pen came up with this. I hope it doesn’t offend anyone. The hopelessness… Invalidated… It was such an ugly word So many tall letters It looked faintly absurd. But the word simply robbed him Of chances he had Struggles to get here So brutal, so bad. Beaten, raped and robbed He’d slipped out of Mogadishu His parents both dead now He was there sole issue. He paid all his money For a hopeless sea trek And got washed up on shore Now the boat was a wreck. It was filled to the gunwales With people like he Many were lost As the boat wrecked at sea. But he never gave up He just fought all the way And now six months later He arrived at this day. The bureaucrat before him Had a large black word stamp He was clutching it so hard He surely had cramp. And then there it was That strange looking word That made him an alien Akin to a **** So all of the struggles And all of the pain Now left him deflated It had all been in vain. How desperate he’d journeyed To leave behind war What now! Invalidated! His future unsure! ©Joe Wilson – The hopelessness…2015
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Apr 1, 2015
Apr 1, 2015 at 7:05 AM UTC
The hopelessness...
*I don't understand why people hesitate to compliment others. Have we all not had those days where we really felt like all we needed was some appreciation? Those days where our efforts were nothing but invalidated and dismissed? The universe has presented itself to you in an ethereal way that is unique to you and solely you. Let the cosmos influence and inspire you and let your words and your work elate and embolden others. Admit your awe and affection and maybe you can be that one piece of inspiration that someone else needs that day.*
0
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 1:48 PM UTC
Admit Your Awe
Being a woman in America is so very dangerous. Afraid to walk down the street alone in broad daylight. As a woman in America I was asked what I was wearing and if I was sure I wasn't flirting. I was dismissed and invalidated. I was shamed and ridiculed. I was thirteen. Being a woman in America is incredibly shocking especially with all of the "feminist" movements going on lately. Being a woman in America makes me wish I was born male so I wouldn't need self defense classes and assault training. As a woman in America I will never be able to feel like I am Safe.
0
Oct 2, 2016
Oct 2, 2016 at 1:10 PM UTC
Being A woman in America
what does (s)he see in me? my heart feels like lead all the color in my life is gone, but all the cones in my eyes are intact. I never should have woken up am I that dispensable? I can't remember what it felt like before the darkness came. That just invalidated all my efforts I’ll only be a burden They’re just being polite Why should I even bother? I wonder if my family sees the hurt in my eyes and elects to ignore it
0
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 5:27 AM UTC
Thoughts I’ve Had (And Ones You Should Never)
when will you realize that everything you say to me takes a toll on my heart? my love for you is unwavering, unchanging and it just goes unnoticed by you. i feel invisible and invalidated. i can never tell by your tone of voice how you feel or what you're thinking. i want you to tell me how you feel, tell me what you're thinking. let me in. just, let me in. i can't breathe without you, but you confuse me. we'll sit and talk for hours, conversation flowing between us like water, but it can turn to ice in seconds without warning and you leave me freezing. we can be inches, centimeters, even millimeters apart and it would still feel like miles. you and i can't ever be too close, we intertwine like ivy whenever we can. but it's not enough, it will never be enough. you have kept me warm for so long my body has almost forgotten what it's like to be cold. almost. there are days that you remind me how the cold feels and it terrifies me that i have given you the power to do that. but even when i am frostbitten, i let you keep my heart warm.
0
Aug 23, 2018
Aug 23, 2018 at 12:26 AM UTC
your hands are always warm.
Who am I but another statistic Destined to be the next trending tag on Twitter More martyrdom made for the minority Hated for who I am and as they think I chose to be Who am I but another snowflake Bashed and beaten for my identity Invalidated for who I know myself to be Fearing each day that comes to pass Who am I but a name that doesn't feel my own Confusion rattles my brain As I stare at the name I've known my whole life So close to me yet so unfamiliar Who am I but myself As no one else chooses to see
0
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 17, 2018 at 9:56 PM UTC
Who am I
Cry, her eyes succumbing to their selfish demand which they so often did her sobs old news, but a more definite pastime Than numbness. Driving invalidated by a lack of destination Stop signs blurring In salt water, a stew of ******  Christian music disingenuous howls louder than thoughts, and Radio static filling spaces like confusion , "I feel broken", she informed the rear-view mirror For lack of better words Her acidic tears dissolved the soft armor Of her twins in the back seat. Who added their mother's grief to the bruises on their insides. And mourned the cigarette smoke She swore would never be there So the sad little Saturn was weighty and drove ruts in the pavement with dysfunctional hurt and she was subject to trite metaphors Which she spewed at an alarming rate For she never got rid if The shit-tinted glasses That were taped to her face.
0
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 11:13 PM UTC
Dysfunction
**the deity was a ******* up minor god** **his band of fans saw not the faker *** of a deceptive trait he did so show some were blind to looking at the real bloke others more insightful thought he a joke true believers weren't indoctrinated they knew shams could be invalidated never did he possess the divine glow why praise the charlatan's counterfeit guff of it there would be a perennial bluff his godhead image did dupe the unwise for these disciples were so unsighted of him they'd be lastingly blighted a pretender until his very demise
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Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 7:58 PM UTC
The Deity (Rosarian Sonnet)
I hate being maternal I hate being fearful I hate being traumatised I hate being quiet. I hate my attraction to men Because it makes me fearful That I’ll have kids And they’ll be neglected, empty and loveless. I hate being anxious I hate losing control I hate my upbringing. If it weren’t for the confusion And the belting and the yelling I wouldn’t be scared. I hate my attraction to men Because it made me fearful I was told that they’re rapists And they’d take advantage of me. I hate being weak I hate being gendered I hate looking and feeling small. I wish I was only attracted to women Because I’d be less fearful I wouldn’t worry about having kids. I hate feeling inadequate I hate feeling like a machine I hate feeling weak. I wish conversion therapy worked Because I hate being attracted To any man who might hurt me Or force me to have kids Or force me to be his slave Or refuse to accept who I am. I hate being viewed as a woman I hate when I try to express affection Women laugh at it, and men take it the wrong way. I hate being invalidated As a non-binary person Who doesn’t want to cause anyone pain. I hate ****** attraction towards men Because if it weren’t for self-control I’d dig my own grave And possibly that of unwarranted children. I hate being an unhappy child Because if I was raised lovingly I wouldn’t be anxious I wouldn’t be cursing my sexuality For including men Because I wouldn’t be scared Of having kids Cos I’d know I would raise them The happy way I was raised. If I was raised lovingly, I know I’d raise kids that way too And they wouldn’t suffer They wouldn’t blame me And the cycle of raising kids lovingly Would be passed on throughout generations. Tell me I’m exaggerating But my dad swore He wouldn’t raise me The way his father raised him. But I was terrorized By his beltings Just like the ones His father gave him. So I hope you understand Why I hate part of my sexuality And why for the good of others I don’t want kids. I want to stop this cycle Of fear, pain and suffering Even if it ends me. Even if no-one remembers me. It’s good for my conscience To say this right here and now I hate being scared And I’d hate for anyone To be afraid of me. 11th October 2017
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Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 6:11 AM UTC
I Hate My Attraction To Men
I hate being maternal I hate being fearful I hate being traumatised I hate being quiet. I hate my attraction to men Because it makes me fearful That I’ll have kids And they’ll be neglected, empty and loveless. I hate being anxious I hate losing control I hate my upbringing. If it weren’t for the confusion And the belting and the yelling I wouldn’t be scared. I hate my attraction to men Because it made me fearful I was told that they’re rapists And they’d take advantage of me. I hate being weak I hate being gendered I hate looking and feeling small. I wish I was only attracted to women Because I’d be less fearful I wouldn’t worry about having kids. I hate feeling inadequate I hate feeling like a machine I hate feeling weak. I wish conversion therapy worked Because I hate being attracted To any man who might hurt me Or force me to have kids Or force me to be his slave Or refuse to accept who I am. I hate being viewed as a woman I hate when I try to express affection Women laugh at it, and men take it the wrong way. I hate being invalidated As a non-binary person Who doesn’t want to cause anyone pain. I hate ****** attraction towards men Because if it weren’t for self-control I’d dig my own grave And possibly that of unwarranted children. I hate being an unhappy child Because if I was raised lovingly I wouldn’t be anxious I wouldn’t be cursing my sexuality For including men Because I wouldn’t be scared Of having kids Cos I’d know I would raise them The happy way I was raised. If I was raised lovingly, I know I’d raise kids that way too And they wouldn’t suffer They wouldn’t blame me And the cycle of raising kids lovingly Would be passed on throughout generations. Tell me I’m exaggerating But my dad swore He wouldn’t raise me The way his father raised him. But I was terrorized By his beltings Just like the ones His father gave him. So I hope you understand Why I hate part of my sexuality And why for the good of others I don’t want kids. I want to stop this cycle Of fear, pain and suffering Even if it ends me. Even if no-one remembers me. It’s good for my conscience To say this right here and now I hate being scared And I’d hate for anyone To be afraid of me. 11th October 2017
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Martyr complexes running wild My own fueling this escape Ties are charred and crumbling In their minds I am to blame. Slave to the lender Though owed so much Is this strength Or is it greed? Weeping at their feet Begging for love and acceptance Invalidated and dismissed I should have kept my distance. I am not the Phoenix Rising from the ashes I am the flame An unassuming figure of destruction. Desperate for survival of spirit Licking my wounded soul Never enough to those I trust Manipulations crease in the fold
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Oct 27, 2017
Oct 27, 2017 at 4:07 AM UTC
Inhuman
To be honest, I've never felt more alone Sleeping on the floor every night isn't fun Missing your company, not out of habit, but out of the fact that I love being with you I can't cry here, I'll be judged and have my feeling invalidated I love this city but if home is where your heart is, Then mine is two-thousand five-hundred-seventy-two miles East I can't call you while I'm inside the house because I'll be chastised I heard your voice for the first time in weeks I sat in the parking lot and cried for an hour. I'm tempted to buy a ticket home I'm tempted to give up I'm tempted but I can't, I'm tempted but I'm scared. At this rate, I'll end up dying in this city At my own hand.
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Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 10:47 AM UTC
Home
She was a source of life, The incandesence of my darkness, A glow worm to my eyes. Selfless, she lit me even when I never reciprocrated her Indefatigable love. She was irritating at times when my eyes wanted mirthless isolation. Nevertheless, she kissed every nook and cranny of my being. She escorted my blindness, navigating the travails of life. She furnished words into my soaking spectacles. She gave me solace, she gave me space to abate my prostrated Solar cells. An exquisite garland and a crown of thorns. My soul will be snuffed out without her; my existence invalidated. The fogdog of my hazy life. Edifying light—she revealed The beauty of the cosmos; my corporeal self, manifest.
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Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 11:21 AM UTC
Edifying Light