"choosen" poems
I wonder what it would feel,
For once in my life to be choosen first.
I keep yearning for him to choose me first, to love me first, to be happy with me for who I am. To stop comparing me to the first wheel. Every time I realize I'm only second wheel.
What's wrong to be second wheel you ask me? Well there's nothing wrong in being second wheel. It is the feeling that comes along with it that makes it wrong. The feeling of being used, the pretentious care. It just hurts, it hurts so much that you want to just stop feeling.
You want to stop feeling the anger that why are you second wheel? you want to stop feeling all the pain he caused you. The only thing you've given him is unconditional love. The worst part is you'll still choose him first!
You can't help but love him. He's your blood. You have to love him.. isn't he supposed to love you the same way? All the second wheel can ask is why doesn't he choose me first just once in my life?
Poor second wheel doesnt realize she is always going to be second wheel. She will never be valued for who she is! She is just a second wheel!
She sits here hoping he'll realize what he did was wrong! Deep down she knows he will never realize it , his first wheel is better, shinier, smarter, and just everything he wants. The second wheel remains where she is, behind, no one to care about her . A burden forever. Poor Poor second wheel, one day she'll learn to give in and learn that hope is meant to shatter in her life!
Till then she'll live in a false world and have hopes that will only break her heart!
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 9:31 AM UTC
Dear life, no one asked you to bring me here. So why did you had to bother? Between us, if only you had asked first you would had known that I would of choosen to stay inexistable. And just for that you are such a *****
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 18, 2014 at 8:26 PM UTC
3am in the morning and I'm strolling
you walk by looking like the choosen
eye contact and the chemistry explodin
body language speaking loudly, smiling as I close in
sundress, hair tied, matching purse looking wooven
pretty lips, beautiful satin eyes that matching your clothin
slim waist, thick thighs
hypnotized by your vibes
love at first sight
from first sight of your eyes
ask you where you from
as I walk you home
the more we talk, the more we vibe
before you know it, I'm sitting on your sofa
our hands are all over, lips are getting closer
mouths open wipe, bodies begging for closure
instinct taking over, bodies getting closer
climaxes reaching closure
laying side to side
and then its
over
Nov 9, 2016
Nov 9, 2016 at 8:39 PM UTC
Do you remember that night out by my car.
Daddys Caddy,
bright in the moonlight.
A home for our words, carefully choosen,
sometimes not.
A mutual ground.
A safehaven for thoughts too bold for sunlight.
The darkness helped us, I think.
Protected us from seeing too much,
when too much was being said.
Maybe I was a little drunk.
Thats all it took, some liquid courage,
for you to know that I was sorry.
You touched me then.
Not a "I just want to **** you" touch.
You felt me, deep inside.
You knew the claws of a beast were tearing me down.
Not one that could be tamed,
and could only be suppressed for so long.
He was there and you saw him,
clear in my eyes.
Usually gaurded, fighting him back.
But there he was,
pompous as any.
Jabbing me in the ribs,
"I told you I would get out"
There he was teeth beared and all,
ready to rip me down
right in front of you.
Right in front of my Daddys Caddy.
Claws, teeth and lies.
Sep 10, 2012
Sep 10, 2012 at 11:45 PM UTC
i am a paradox
i am a contradiction
i am an oxymoron
i am a hypocrite
i am a walking talking
"yes, no, maybe"
black one day
white the other
lingering between the two
because I have no morals
and I speak of fake values
never choosen a side
never made a concrete decision
my grand words oppose
my petty actions
and yet, still overshadow them
i sugarcoat them
with lame excuses for excuses
my faults are the night sky
the twinkling stars are but airplanes
polluting the purity
mistaken for a force of beautiful nature
when it is indeed
destructing
the good
destructing
the holy
with its very existence
i leap
from one pond
to the other
politically correct
depending on the situation
i am the northman
claiming to belong to the south
i am the liar
i am the lie
neither here nor there
never here
never there
never anywhere
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015 at 3:23 AM UTC
Rejection, it is painful!
I lauch myself at the idea of hope,
I throw myself into the notion of happiness,
I jump head first into something that could be,
Each and every time all I recieve is REJECTION
The steady reminder that I am not wanted,
The sharp feeling of not being choosen,
The constant pain of being unworthy,
Unworthy of being loved, of being the person that is picked
Being someone that is seen as being desirable, wanting to jump head first with me into something that could be,
But rejection, the reminder that what could be is indeed nothing more than a mere fleeting feeling.
Jul 19, 2021
Jul 19, 2021 at 3:16 PM UTC
"Over there
Witness all the rooms you rent,
Moments, Memories,
all the pieces of heart
gifted by lovers or strangers"
said The Cherub.
"My arrows choose which you will cherrish."
"While we lay entangled here,
Having consumed one another.
Do you wonder if we will cherrish this?"
said The Archer.
"Would you like to come even closer
And discover the answer? "
replied The Cherub.
"Every memory I've choosen to cherrish,
Has Shattered"
says The Archer.
"Well of course it did,
You tried to choose.
We cannot choose
which memories we will cherrish.
We may only pull
faith From quiver.
Give in to potential
without intention.
Close your eyes.
Empty all your senses
Until the only sense you have is Trust
I'll fill those empty spaces,
can you feel me?"
"Yes, you are close."
"You have my quiver now.
We still have no control over whether
We will cherrish this moment.
Put your faith in this bow.
Draw back our arrow
Trust it's natural path.
Close our eyes.
Forget this room.
Volley the whole tower"
Feb 26, 2017
Feb 26, 2017 at 2:00 PM UTC
have you ever been in an isolation tank i wonder how does it feel to be in there our body no longer feeling anything no longer stimulated no longer contaminated no longer tainted?
have you ever wonder how it would feel like to be choosen to partake in such a macabre experiment where one human being voluntarily floats **** inside a dark chamber dark blinded deafen and numb?
have you ever worry that one might loses his or her soul because of the prolonged silenced smothered in epsom salt floating not only a human body but also leaving a weightless soul to travel its way towards the astral plane?
have you even considered that the isolation tank is an insidious yet subtle way for someone who is suicadal to detach his or her soul no longer feeling the weight of the world only leaving his or her weightless spirit (conjured by a godly apparition) to join Him in his throne?
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 3:09 AM UTC
All my life my parents always told me to dream big.
As a kid I thought to China, I could dig.
But the critics in my head keep my dreams little.
Getting tired of these mental monsters making me feel belittled.
In my dream it seems like the pest knows whats best.
All their words and whispers make me wanna second guess.
To stressed and caught up in outsiders looks.
Feels like I embezzled the thoughts, of invisable crooks.
Thought I could beat kung foo when I grabbed the pebble.
But the monsters and the crooks made the whole idea disheveled.
They eroaded my motives of keeping the real me open.
I feel the claws of the monsters on the back of my neck strockin'.
Thinking to myself I'm the only victim they've choosen.
Letting the whispers and words get into my emotions.
If only I were deaf maybe I wouldnt be the one they've choosen.
Oct 20, 2012
Oct 20, 2012 at 5:11 PM UTC
Set this in motion
In this mind matter ocean
Your words are brain lotion
To lubricate my emotion
With this potion
With a notion
Of devotion
A heart in locomotion
Physical commotion
So glad to have choosen
So glad to have woven
Woven and weave
Like ivy leave
Entwine a maple tree
Under which you rest with me
Like pedals and stem
Fabrics set in hem
Gold in mold with gem
You wrap my brain stem
May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 5:00 AM UTC
It feels like He is right here waiting
Yet he is just full of deceit
Just moments ago I planned for today
When today seemed like long years to come
But now Today is finally here
Time has played his trick again
I have had brief awesome moments
I have been swallowed by pain but spewed
All these moments simply varnish
And leave me with memories
Truly nothing will last forever
Today was tomorrow just yesterday
Today will be yesterday by tomorrow
Thats how tricky Time is
passing while making me feel he is here
He walks away and leaves me broken
I am wishing I never let him go
Was it me?or him?who is to blame?
While I push blames,he moves further away
Far away from me,not minding my feelings
I began to ask questions about his past
I was not the first he has cheated
Yet I found some who beat him in his game
Then I realised Time is always on the move
He simply cant stay commited to just me
But I can be steps ahead,I wont wait for Him
Im moving,no room for idleness
No room for wishful thoughts
So I accept Him back into my life
But this time,Im am smarter
I see him play his old tricks
Moving away as he always would
But I smile , knowing I am moving too
I have choosen to always be steps ahead
I agree that he is pracious and valuable
Yet cunning and always playing games
But I am not worried,two can play the game
Oct 26, 2016
Oct 26, 2016 at 2:02 AM UTC
Lucky are those whose destiny
Is choosen for them
For I feel their path
Is clear cut and laid out
They know what they are meant to be
They've had enough time to accept it
Unlike me for mine judgement
Is clouded with antsy and fear
With doubt and uncertainty
The future I foresee is out of my control
That makes me feel forlorn
Will all the risks be worth at the end ?
I frequent that path
Maybe I need to hold on
Till the end of the tunnel
When the light will reveal my place
And there will be no one
But myself to blame
Then I shall accept it raw
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 5:24 AM UTC
Maybe your not smart as you are
Maybe your not good as you told
Maybe your not just like to manipulate but also likes to treat woman rudeness
Maybe your not that just crazy but also insane
Maybe your not handsome as he is
Maybe your not adult as your age
Maybe your not romantic as my ex-boyfriend does
Maybe your not polite as gentleman attitude
Maybe your not kind enough
Maybe your not type of man that I really want or love
Maybe your not the choosen one
Maybe your not adorable or irresistable man as women usually do says to you
Maybe your not rich
Because of the maybe no wonder all woman left you.
Sep 26, 2011
Sep 26, 2011 at 10:46 AM UTC
Eight years old
Head aching
Heart breaking
As a child
I wept
the days went by
as a child
I went to school
I broke the rules
I got labeled
An outcast
A rebel
An anti-christ
A trouble maker
A real creator
A real creator
A real creator
A real creator.
Time went by
I wondered why
I even went to school
I was there tool.
They were teaching me
What they wanted me to see
But I saw through
And I still do.
And I don’t see
Why society
Has got to effect me
Like I see
It effects you
I dont feel any attachment
There needs be no interaction
Cause I cant live
There lies.
What they have choosen
For me.
For us all
To be.
Slaves
Who think they are free.
Small comforts
Can be
A necessary
Part of the illusion
Its proven
But tell me why
Is it ok?
Why do they think
Its ok
To live this way?
Its not right.
Its not right.
My heart cries
Its not right
My spirit doesn’t lie
And its putting up a fight
With all its love and light.
Its putting up a fight
With all its love and light.
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012 at 11:14 AM UTC
Now i know
The path have been choosen
A path has closed
But the mind has been open
It could be my memento
Of a tearful past
But i must break those chains
To free my true desire
And it's shame, how could i forget
What makes me human
But i have no lost
Cause my heart screams to face
The winds of change
Mar 13, 2021
Mar 13, 2021 at 11:46 PM UTC
I'm thirsty
Yet no liquid quenches these forgotton parched tears
Tis the sugar of my soul that seeks its redemption
A wanton pleasure of mind
To waken such lasting slumber
It is you my love that has rejoiced me
Your taste that does me complete
And that warmth
Oh that beautiful warmth
I so so miss
And in this night that become day's
I long for your reach
Come kiss me my choosen
Taste my salted skin
For I am the waiting
And
You are the one
Let us sleep
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 12:43 AM UTC
My heart belongs to you.
It always has and it always will.
When I place my hands in yours, i am courageous because i know that we face life together
When you hold me in your arms, i am calm because i know you will keep me safe
When we both say i love you for the tenth time in the day, i am blessed because it does not and never will lose its meaning
I will admit there are times i get frustrated because i dont know how to communicate the extent of my love for you
It is truly the perfect flaw that, even with my love of words, i can't seem to find the right ones to tell you how i feel
But I can tell you this:
Loving you is like walking on air without the fear of falling
Its holding up the world with one hand and playing a symphony with the other
Its dancing on the moon without helmets and still breathing effortlessly
Its laughing when there's nothing to laugh about because just smiling wont do true happiness justice
You were more than a friend, a boyfriend, a fiance and now a husband.
You are the soul that mine has choosen to walk this earth in life with and fly together after death
For eternity with you doesn't mean just in this life, but beyond what we cant see or understand
So may my words stay with you always because this is what i vow to you:
I vow to love you unconditionally, every day, and every second of our lives
I vow to embrace you in the good times and the bad
I vow to face those times with you, together as we've always done
I vow to love and care for our family with you
I vow to support and encourage you in all your dreams and life endeavors
I vow to be your jiu jitsu partner when you get the urge to leg lock me
I vow to do my best at making a decision about what show to watch at dinner
I vow to **** the bee's if you **** the spiders
I vow to stay child-like with you and to remember that life isnt always so serious
I vow to bring the harmony when we belt out to disney songs in the car together
I vow to travel with you and take every place as an adventure even if its down the street
I vow to be your sturdy rock or your squishy sponge depending on what you need
I vow to love you with all that I am for the rest of my life and beyond
I give myself to you now and forever. I choose you as my best friend, my lover, my husband and my soulmate.
Thank you for making me the luckiest woman in the world.
I love you.
Jul 8, 2021
Jul 8, 2021 at 2:21 AM UTC
I wonder the world i lived in
A world where ........
Acceptance,love ,happiness are all fantasies
Does world full of happiness really in existence
Is happiness really possible
I live in the world where u cant have what u deserved
Where you cant have the trust you earned
Where you cant have the love you deserved
Where you cant have the happy life you worked for
A world where you cant live the life worth living
Where you cant have the house worth having
Where you cant date a girl worth dating
Where you cant go to school worth going
Where you cant drive a car worth driving
A world where an ignorant is voted in as a president
A rogue voted in as a governor
A madman voted in as mayor
An adulterous man is choosen as a priest
A world where ********** are the prayer worrior
I live in a world where .........
No money no love
No money no happiness
No money no school
No money no family are the popular keywords
The world i live is full of pain instead of joy
The world i live is full with hatred instead of love
The world i live in is full with betrayal instead of trust
The world i live
The world i live
The world i live is full of pain,
Oct 8, 2013
Oct 8, 2013 at 12:03 PM UTC
They did'nt accept me for no apparent reason,they disliked me ffor no reason.
Why? oh why? why did they hate me? why did they dislike me? .
why did they make me feel unwanted,unaccepted,invalid??.
I ask that question many times but then i realized i'm just not no ordinary gal.
I'm not a woman who's just simple, I have a vision,grace,class and most of all "I HAVE GOD"
Therefore I no longer wish to be accepted,i know where i belong .
I know God has already made a place and a way for where he wants me to belong,"I'M ALREADY ACCEPTED BY THE HOLY ONE".
Yessssssss!!!!!! Oh yesssssss!!!!!!! Oh yes!!!!!!!!!.
I'm accepted ,they knew why??????I'm accepted and that's just the end of the story,i'm just God's choosen one.
written by pmj
Jan 13, 2013
Jan 13, 2013 at 10:47 PM UTC
It's become vivid
Your world is mine.
With an unpredictable ending
Of either darkness or light
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 23, 2016 at 5:19 PM UTC
I used to hate making decisions
Well, until I met you
Because you see, I never knew where I was going
I'd think I found my path
And then guess what?
Surprise, surprise there'd be a fork in the road
The pressure to choose would eat me alive
The water would rise above my head until finally at the last second I would find my way again
And then
I met you
With your all your love I love to swim in
And your careful words filled with honesty and truth
And with your soft kisses
Because oh, when you kiss me,
I promise I've never felt so beautiful
And now I know where I'm going
I know that all the paths that I've choosen have all led up to
You
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016 at 12:39 AM UTC
It was the best of times
it was the worst of times
it was never a good time to lose my mind
I find delaying the inevitable only buys you time
Plagerize my lexicon
You are the choosen one
Aug 5, 2017
Aug 5, 2017 at 3:02 PM UTC
a gun -
shot wound
to the heart
breathe - just
******* breathe
he won't lie
still and the
red pool reaches
nearer
reaching like a
hand towards
me
at my feet
I stare at it
and remember
laughing
we didn't laugh often
I'm not like
that
but we would succumb
occasionally
I remember the feel
of his hair - the
way the roots
felt as I brushed
from them with
my fingers
my fingers remember
the touch of his
coat
the scratchy,
uncimfortable
fabric
why did he wear
the ******* thing?
the scarlet stain
has reached my toes
now
I fight the urge
to place my hand
in his
I need to focus
He needs to -
focus
please, just listen
to my voice
put your heartbeat
into it
into me
control
control
control
he is becoming
heart -
less
why has he
choosen me
to save him?
twice now
he says I matter
the most but it's
********
he doesn't want me
he wants my
skills
to find a body
and fake
it
to wait years
no - two years
in silence so heavy
I feel like my lungs
have collapsed
and now to pull him
through - back through
the cavity in his chest
to force the blood
back into his breaking
body
whilst my hands
shake with fear
night terrors
and the shape of
his face as I
dragged him
(back to life)
by the roots of
his hair
Jan 19, 2014
Jan 19, 2014 at 10:31 AM UTC
She's a poetic of H.P
An addict best believe
Waketh at night to get her fill
3 am to read those thrills
She says to me (I'm going to bed)
Most of the time
Yet wakes instead
***
As I said
An addicted fien
Loving poems of H.P
Though tis I'm her
Tis she's me
Tis she's mine
Though tis she's free
Tis she's fine
The finer decor
Spanish album
Of music stores
Starbucked ******
To get her fix
She waketh up
SHE NEED'S IT QUICK
Yet also for me she sticks
Around all day
She say's she is not obsessed
Though one should seeith mine way
For she's hooked
On me that is
She doth know
I'm her Mr
She's mine Mrs
For this is short and simply funnily sweet
She's mine queen
Of candy treats
As tis she knows
This is pure fun
I loveth mi amour'
Mine choosen one...
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 25, 2015 at 2:00 PM UTC
Though I have never felt my own legs quake
Though I stand firmly behind what decisions I make
Though regret is little more than a vital part of life to me
I consider my actions now; I am wracked with uncertainty.
The things I have choosen to do in life sit with me to vigil
I am far too weak as I currentlyam , my defences are fully riddled
With vulnerabilities I have exacted upon myself, I now review
The life I saw fit to live and the parts of it I now wish to undo.
Birth. I waver. That it may have never happened, that I didn't exist
The childhood I didn't savour. Despite the dreams it saw fit to twist
Pre-adulthood. I falter. I thought so much of what I thought I knew
My feeble hold on maturity. My newfound perplexion at what to do.
I am no longer the child with the world at fingertip and magic in my palm
I am little more than an adult with failing health and a shaky facade of calm
I am no longer stable, unchanging, and tough like the rock I was thought to be
I am wavering, quivering, shaking in terror; I am the manifestation of fragility.
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 28, 2017 at 10:27 AM UTC